Are you tired of people asking about your plans to ‘settle down’? Do you find yourself avoiding people because you are tired of questions surrounding your marriage? Believe me; I’ve been there and so are many other women in their 20s and 30s. People are judgemental no matter what you do in life and do not even think twice before intruding on someone else’s personal life.
I, like many others, used to get frustrated and irritated with the constant inquiries and nudging about my marital status. There was a time when I wanted to settle down only for the sake of society. However, soon I realized that I cannot shut everyone’s mouth and I just need to learn to ignore others and their unsolicited advice.
In today’s article, we are going to see why there is so much pressure on girls regarding marriage. These reasons will help you understand where others are coming from and how to tackle them.
Plus, we’ll look at what the whole pressure feels like and how you should not bow to the pressure.
- 1 Reasons People Put Pressure On You To Get Married
- 1.1 1. Single people are considered to be unhappy
- 1.2 2. They want you to practice your culture and traditions
- 1.3 3. They want you to have children
- 1.4 4. They do not want you to lose out on a serious relationship
- 1.5 5. They do not actually want to give you marriage pressure
- 1.6 6. They want you to settle at a young age
- 1.7 7. Marriage gives you social acceptance
- 1.8 8. They are jealous
- 1.9 9. They want you to live comfortably
- 2 What is it like to feel pressure to get married?
- 3 FAQs
- 4 To Summarize
Reasons People Put Pressure On You To Get Married
1. Single people are considered to be unhappy
Many people out there believe that marriage and having kids must be the only goal of a woman's life. They believe that only having a family can bring fulfillment to one’s life and want you to make the right choice. Even if you try to explain to them that not everyone wants to get married and you are content with your life, they will not believe you and will pity you.
It is extremely difficult to make these people understand your point so it is better to ignore them.
2. They want you to practice your culture and traditions
Many people believe that our ancestors have laid out a path before us and it is our responsibility to deviate from this path. They believe that if in earlier times marrying and taking care of the kids and house was the only job of the women then it should not change even in these times.
These people come from a conservative mindset and would not even shy away from giving you an earful as they believe that you are failing to do something that God has sent us to do on this Earth. They are the people who never fail to enquire about your plans to ‘settle down’ at every family function that you attend.
3. They want you to have children
Just like single women feel pressure to get married, married women feel the pressure to have children. For some reason, our society is obsessed with having kids, which is the main reason behind getting married.
Parents have this huge desire to become grandparents that they do not mind pressuring their daughters to get hitched. And since having children without marriage is considered taboo, the pressure for the marriage starters first, followed by the pressure of a ticking biological clock.
4. They do not want you to lose out on a serious relationship
If you are with a decent man that your friends and family feel is the right person for you then they do not want you to lose out on him. People feel that marriage brings a certain stability to life and would make it difficult for your boyfriend to leave you once he becomes your husband. For them, marriage brings additional security to the relationship.
These people do not take into consideration the fact that the one who wants will leave you even after kids. Moreover, sometimes, parting ways is much better than a loveless relationship.
5. They do not actually want to give you marriage pressure
Yes, indeed, sometimes people might actually have no clue that they are pressurizing and irritating unmarried women by asking about their relationship status. Sometimes, strangers, especially older people, at a party want to make a conversation with you and they think asking someone when they plan to get hitched is a good conversation starter.
You should not take these people seriously and try to divert the conversation toward some other topic.
6. They want you to settle at a young age
Many people might want you to marry young as they are worried that if your young hormones play then you might get pregnant without getting married, and this is something that is still frowned upon in our society. Marrying young, according to people, allows couples to enjoy their lives before deciding to bring children into this world.
Even in the present modern times, a woman who has her own family is seen as a ‘complete woman’. People expect women to complete these ‘goals’ by a certain age and if they are unable to do so, they are considered a failure. No matter how well a woman earns or how good she is doing in her career, ‘settling down’ is seen as her number one responsibility.
Unfortunately, even today some people give married women a certain level of respect and admiration while seeing single women as ‘too forward’. Many times, the way women are treated by society is decided by their marital status.
8. They are jealous
Not being in a relationship means that you are free to do whatever you want and whenever you want. There is a certain level of freedom, which comes with singlehood that your married friends might not be able to enjoy.
While you might be able to have a solo trip and party whenever you want, your friends would be bogged down by the responsibility of their families. This might be the reason for their envy towards you because of which they might be unintentionally putting pressure on you to find a man for yourself.
9. They want you to live comfortably
Even in the present times, the male is seen as the main breadwinner. A woman may work or not based on her preference but the responsibility to earn falls on her husband. There are women who instead of making their own money, find it easier to spend their husband’s money. They believe that only men have to earn for the family.
Women with this kind of thinking put pressure on single girls to marry as they want these girls to never worry about the future. According to them, having a spouse means they no longer have to care about getting a job or managing finances. These types of people think that women after marriage just need to sit at home and relax while their partner goes out and earns.
What is it like to feel pressure to get married?
If you do not make your own coping measure to fight this pressure then there are chances that it can take a toll on your mental health. At some point, you might get so irritated with this constant nagging that you might even get into a relationship for the sake of it. This type of relationship, which you start only as a compromise can never bring true joy to you.
Due to this pressure, you might get envious of your friends who might be getting engaged or married. Even if you are someone who had made a decision early on to stay single, this constant pressure can make you change your decision and you might get into matrimony even when you are not ready for it!
Just like society puts various pressures on people, marriage is also one of them. Society is quick to judge people who do not go according to the society’s fixed timeline of finishing education – getting a job – getting married – having kids and so on. However, one should not succumb to this pressure and marry only when they are ready.
Yes, guys also feel the pressure to get married. However, they have less pressure when compared to women as they do not have to birth children and thus rarely have to listen to the ticking biological clock remark. Also, it is believed that for men having a good career is more important and there would be no dearth of young women for them even if they are in their 40s.
The above-given reasons spell out well the reasons behind all the pressure. However, you should never submit yourself to these kinds of pressures and do whatever you think is right for you.
To resist this unwanted pressure, be honest with yourself and make your plan to cope. Be confident and instead of avoiding the family gatherings, be vocal and let people know that you are not comfortable talking on this particular subject. Be polite, but assertive while setting your boundaries.
Guys usually want to get married after they are at least 30 years old. However, different people have different choices and some guys want to get hitched and some even later. The important thing is that instead of getting pressurized, an individual should take important decisions only when ready.
How has this content spoken to you? Have you felt the pressure regarding marriage? What is your reaction when faced with these kinds of questions? Do you lose your cool while facing the constant nagging? We would love to hear a word from you to help our readers. Please comment below!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.