If you are wanting the secrets of how to play hard to get with a guy, you have come to the right place because we are going to cover the topic extensively today.
Have you ever wondered how average-looking girls get super hot guys? Why do the hot girls who seem to have it all end up alone sometimes? It can all seem like a mystery – until you learn about the game – playing hard to get. However, I must ask: Is it really a game? It certainly doesn’t have to be. True, you may not be acting super genuine all the time, but that’s all.
Many times, a girl who is desperate to meet the right guy determines that she needs a new strategy. This is when the game of trying to play hard to get comes into play. It can be a fun way to start a new relationship, though.
You are basically just showing a guy that you are super busy and maybe do not have time to be at his beck and call every second of the day. There’s really nothing wrong with that. Check out the book called The Rules for all the details on how to do this right.
- 1 How To Play Hard To Get With A Guy (11 Fab Ways To Get Started)
- 1.1 1. Do try not to ask guys out on dates
- 1.2 2. Don’t call back right away
- 1.3 3. Do make sure you do not use text or call too much
- 1.4 4. Don’t agree to a Friday night date after Wednesday
- 1.5 5. Do end conversations on the phone after 10 minutes
- 1.6 6. Don’t always say yes
- 1.7 7. Do wait to have sex until the third date
- 1.8 8. Don’t always be available
- 1.9 9. Do stay busy
- 1.10 10. Don’t overshare
- 1.11 11. Do be a mystery
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
How To Play Hard To Get With A Guy (11 Fab Ways To Get Started)
1. Do try not to ask guys out on dates
This one may seem a bit obvious, but you really do want guys to ask you out on dates if you are hoping to snag one for a serious relationship. You may want to start out as friends; there are many benefits to having a guy as a friend! However, eventually, you’ll want him to be chasing you down for a relationship, so remain aloof.
2. Don’t call back right away
You don’t want it to appear as though you have been waiting by the phone for the guy to call you. Instead, you want to be busy with your own life. Don’t expect a guy to make you happy. Create your own happiness through hobbies, sports, or another passion – maybe something you have always wanted to try but have never had the nerve to do!
3. Do make sure you do not use text or call too much
Space is a good idea. It will make the guy miss you that much more than if you were just taking a break from each other. If you feel the need to call your man, consider limiting yourself; maybe tell yourself that you will only call once every three hours or something like that. You could even hide your phone so that you aren’t tempted to call or text!
4. Don’t agree to a Friday night date after Wednesday
This idea came straight from the recommended book. If you accept a Friday night date at the last minute, you are basically showing the guy that you do not have a life and are available whenever he asks. I believe that is the point that this “rule” is trying to make. It might be a smart idea to set some boundaries like this and stick to them.
Of course, you can make up your own rules for dating. You might want to say that you are only available for dates every other weekend or something like that. You don’t have to shoot him down rudely. Be a sweetheart, and just let him know you already had plans! Don’t make him feel rejected!
5. Do end conversations on the phone after 10 minutes
This “rule” may sound bizarre, but in reality, it makes sense and does work. If you stay on the phone for hours with a guy, you are likely going to tell him everything about yourself. Instead, it might be wise to make him “work” a little harder to get to know you. For example, he should take you out on dates, where he can ask you questions!
This always leaves the guy wanting more, too. He will always have other questions and comments he wants to discuss with you. Before I knew this rule, I would speak to guys for hours on the phone without giving it a second thought. However, that did not give them much incentive to ask me out and get to know me that way.
You don’t need to say that you have a 10-minute limit for the phone. Instead, say that you only have a few minutes to talk because you have something else going on. That way, you remain “busy” in their eyes and won’t have to explain why you can only talk on the phone for 10 minutes. Of course, you don’t have to use this rule but it does work!
6. Don’t always say yes
It might be a good idea to play a little hard to get. Don’t agree with the guy on everything he says. You don’t need to be argumentative, but you should stand your ground on issues you are passionate about. Don’t just agree with a guy because you like him and want to have something in common with him! Hold your own on certain issues!
He will respect the fact that you have certain beliefs that you do not waiver on – no matter how much you like a guy. Many girls will be too agreeable – just saying whatever they think a guy wants to hear on a date. This just isn’t a good idea because you aren’t allowing your true personality to shine through. Be yourself and be honest about things!
7. Do wait to have sex until the third date
In my opinion, you should wait even longer, but this is a good rule to follow if you are sexually active. If you are a bit more on the conservative side, you could substitute a French kiss for sex. So, instead, you would wait until the third date to French kiss the guy. Of course, only do this if you really like or love the guy!
8. Don’t always be available
Every time a guy asks you out, you don’t need to say yes. Sometimes, explain that you have other plans or that you are too swamped with work to do anything. You should be very polite when you do this, but it will always make him wonder what you are up to. He’ll wonder why you don’t jump on every opportunity to go out with him! Let him wonder!
9. Do stay busy
So, we’ve talked about saying that you are too swamped to do certain things – like dates and staying on the phone too long. So, how can you do this without seeming like you are playing silly little games with a guy’s heart? Keep yourself preoccupied! Invest in your favorite interests, hobbies, sports, shopping, friends, family, or social events!
So, you’ve been waiting to go out with this hottie, but you don’t know what to do when you finally get a date with him. After all, what is acceptable to talk about, and when should you just keep your mouth shut and listen intently to what he has to say? The truth is that you should try to remain mysterious at all times. Be yourself, but don’t overshare.
What does that mean? It means that you don’t want to tell your entire life story on the first date. Make him ask you questions to get to know you better. Think about yourself as a bit of a closed vault for the date. You can share a story or two, but let him take the lead in asking you questions to get to know you! Make him work for the information!
11. Do be a mystery
As the rules say, be a creature unlike any other. I love that wording. It basically means that you should be like a unicorn. Show that you are an enigma – someone that he will desperately want to get to know better because you are just so fascinating. If you are able to show him that you are mysterious and cool, he’ll fall into your lap!
After all, the end goal is to make him fall head over heels for you, right? Some day, you do want to get married and have kids, and you’re hoping that he is the right guy for that, right? The best way to make him fall for you is to keep him guessing. Leave him always wanting more out of the relationship. That way, he’ll continue to ask you out.
He’ll just always have unanswered questions and want to know more about you. He’ll always have more things to talk to you about. This means that he’ll continue to ask you out on dates so that he can learn more about you. This is what you want. You want him to long to see you again and wonder what else is up your sleeve!
Some do! Most don’t know that it is an effective way to start relationships. They may not be interested in playing games with girls – if that is what they believe playing hard to get is all about. It can be, but it really depends on your attitude going into the relationship.
If someone plays hard to get, you think they are worth pursuing. You might even be willing to work hard to win the affection of the heart of the one you are chasing. Some guys know that the chase is all part of playing the game of love!
If you have come across to other people as an easy girl, you might want to think about how you acted when you first started dating. You may find that if you play hard to get, you will get more guys interested in you than not. It’s worth a shot!
If you start talking to a guy and he loses interest, it may be that there is no physical intimacy. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he is playing mind games with you. Playing hard to get can be a cold game if not done right, but usually, there is more value to the strategy than that!
If a guy has fun with you when you are out on a date, but you have to chase him to get his attention after that, he might be trying to play hard to get. This may happen in the early stages of a relationship; you could also get hurt by this guy.
If you can’t tell, I think playing hard to get does work and is certainly worth a try!
What do you think about playing hard to get? Do you think it’s a bad thing to do? We’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment, and share this article on social media.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.