Perfectionism In Relationships (9 Simple Ways To Keep Your Perfectionism From Ruining Your Relationship)

Most people usually have high expectations of how their relationships should be. They fail to remember that their partners are unique human beings with individual flaws and personal standards, so they deserve to be heard too. This is one of the things that ruin relationships.

The truth is, everyone has an idea of how they want their lives to be. So, if you observe, you’ll notice that they have their own definition of perfection. Some could want their rooms to look a certain way while others could want their career lives to go in the desired direction.

In all, there are many types of perfectionists. Some strive to complete tasks on time with high standards, knowing their strengths and limitations. Some do things to impress others or society and get so hard on themselves for fear of failure to achieve the success they imagine. While others expect other people to be flawless when they’re not.

This is something that happens to most people, but not everyone recognizes it. As a woman, if you’re a perfectionist, but unable to overcome perfectionism positively, you can learn a few ways to do so. Keep reading to learn 9 simple ways to keep your perfectionism from ruining your relationship.

9 Simple Ways To Keep Your Perfectionism From Ruining Your Relationship

1. Accept your partner for who he is

One way to avoid all the disappointment in romantic relationships is by acceptance. Of course, you want the best for yourself, but don't go into a relationship with your partner with extremely high expectations of what you want from him so you don't feel disappointed. 

Everyone has great expectations, but you shouldn't let them limit you from also seeing your partner's strengths. Of course, he can't be all bad. He also has his best attributes that you could benefit from. So, whenever you feel like the perfectionist mindset is getting to you, remember healthy relationships and practice acceptance.

2. Discuss with him whenever you can

Communication is one of the best keys to avoiding extreme perfectionism in a relationship. You can pick a time to talk about the things you don’t like and listen to him too. Or, say it playfully when you’re both having a beautiful time together. That's a good example of clear communication. 

But, not everyone is aware of this. It’s through good communication that you can both get to know more about each other. That’s when your partner can ask more questions about your perfectionism and understand how to handle it more than you can ever imagine.

3. Live and let live

Here's one mistake most people make in their relationship and that's trying to make your partner do things hundred percent your way. That's manipulation. It could be extremely exhausting to be guided on how to live your life by someone else, especially when you're a full-grown adult. 

Imagine your partner telling you what to do just to suit his way of life, won't you feel choked? If you do, that's exactly how your partner feels when you come with perfectionist acts. So, live and let your partner live his life too. That's how to avoid perfectionism from ruining your relationship.

4. Put your attention on the positives

put your attention on the positives

It's very tempting to fix your mind on negativity when you're in a relationship, especially if it's not going your way. It's a mistake many women make and it affects them in the long run. The most interesting thing is, that it's a typical perfectionist behavior to criticize.

Remember the beautiful moments you've both shared. Talk about his efforts and how happy you are to be in a relationship with him. Appreciation is one of the things that make a good relationship work and not unrealistic expectations from someone who has his own personal life problems to solve.

5. Know, create, and respect boundaries

One way to avoid relationship issues in romantic relationships is to know, create, and respect boundaries. You could have a mutual understanding with your partner on how to manage your likes and dislikes altogether. Find ways to compromise some of your standards to favor your partner.

So, you could create your boundaries, but while doing that, remember to give your partner the opportunity to create his boundaries too. Additionally, you would want him to respect yours, and respect his boundaries too. Give as you take to build a healthy love life. That's one way to prevent perfectionism from ruining your relationship.

6. Have lower expectations

Avoid having extremely high standards, especially if you as a person cannot meet those standards. You can't have a perfect partner no matter how much you try. It's just like you, who can never be a perfect person or partner to your boyfriend or husband. It's a two-thing in every relationship.

So, imagine your partner getting easily disappointed whenever you make mistakes and lashing out at you for them. How would you feel? You could be a perfectionist, but lower your expectations to accept any disappointment that comes. That's one of the numerous ways to overcome perfectionism in relationships.

7. Spend more time together

You don't expect to wake up one morning to a perfect partner. You have to build one. Those wonderful relationships you see or hear of were not created in a day. They're not also successful because one partner always points out the other partner’s mistakes. 

Enjoy beautiful moments together. If you don't have some, create them for yourselves. Let your lover feel a positive vibe from you. There's no perfect partner out there, but you could build one to suit you. The best way to do that is by spending time with him, so you can understand each other more.

8. Be accommodating to his ideas

be accommodating to his ideas

Don't forget your partner is a human being who has feelings. Don't strictly judge him before listening. Like you with a perfectionist mindset, he wants to be heard too. The deeper truth is, just like you want him to be understanding when it comes to your unrelenting standards, he also wants you to accommodate his. 

That's an example of good communication in relationships. Listen to his suggestions, see the positives, and try them first before complaining. He could be discouraged if you tell him off without any nice consideration of his words. That's one way to prevent perfectionism from ruining your relationship.

9. Learn to compromise

Romantic relationships need many attributes to survive successfully and that includes compromise. This means you and your partner should meet in the middle for a better understanding of how to make your relationship work. Compromising may not be easy to fulfill, but you could try.

That's one way to make your partner understand perfectionism in your relationship. Some people refer to it as a sacrifice in relationships while others call it, “compromise”. Let him also have his way sometimes. That way, he'll be flexible enough to accept yours wholeheartedly without complaining.


Can perfectionism ruin a relationship?

There’s really no good or bad. It all depends on individual preferences. But you should remember that too much of everything is a disease. The same thing applies to perfectionism. Too much of it in a relationship can ruin it with a twinkle of an eye. You should watch it.

How do you deal with a partner who is a perfectionist?

The word here is patience. You need to take time to know your partner. If they’re a perfectionist, listen to their complaints and high standards, accept the ones you can respect and follow, but communicate to them about the ones you can’t. It’s all about understanding, don’t be violent about it.

What is romantic perfectionism?

Romantic perfectionism is when a partner or both partners believe that the other partner should be a perfect romantic partner and may set certain rules and high standards for that. It could be based on another person’s relationship. This is where most fairytale stories and fake-perfect facades of relationships come into play. 

Do perfectionists have anxiety?

Yes, they do. Because they’re perfectionists, when things don’t go as they plan, they get anxious. Not only do they get anxious, but they could also be sad, depressed, angry, or in some cases, fall sick if things don’t go their way. This is because they spend a lot of time and effort planning their things.

Is perfectionism a good trait?

Once again, everything has its pros and cons and perfectionism is one of them. It’s a good trait and can make things work perfectly. But, if not managed well, it could bring a number of other bad qualities or uncontrolled situations. So, if you’re a perfectionist, you should try your best to keep it in check.

To Summarize

If you’re a perfectionist or your partner is, and you don’t know how to manage things in your relationship, you can refer to these 9 simple ways I’ve mentioned. Do that and see how things turn out. Don’t forget to drop a comment about what you feel and share this article with others.


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