I bet you’re shocked to find out that this word exists, I mean who knew the word intercourse had an antonym? Outercourse simply refers to non-penetrative sex. It’s an alternative option for sexual activity and involves everything ranging from kissing to oral sex to the ever so loved sex toys.
The term outercourse was coined in the 1980s when safe sex became the order of the day in place of abstinence. It became an option even for religious folk who subscribed only to abstinence until marriage—yet still, have partners with whom they wanted to share a certain degree of intimacy.
Others chose outercourse to guard themselves against infections, diseases, or unwanted pregnancies.
What’s more, the term outercourse helped to differentiate between sexual acts involving penetrative sex and other non-penetrative ways partners chose to pleasure themselves. Outercourse means different things to different people. For some, it only includes all things non-penetrative which means that it excludes anal sex, oral sex, fingering, or sex toys.
On the other hand, others feel it involves everything other than penile-vaginal penetration. Not everyone is ready for sex in its entirety and would rather engage in outercourse instead of practicing complete abstinence.
Some others use outercourse as a safe-sex option, choosing to engage each other physically while avoiding sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancies.
Your personal definition of outercourse depends on your idea of what sex is but if you feel that you aren’t very sure about what outercourse is all about, read on to learn more facts about outercourse.
- 1 10 Things To Know About Outercourse
- 1.1 1. You can still get kinky with it
- 1.2 2. Happy endings are guaranteed
- 1.3 3. It’s way safer than penetrative sex
- 1.4 4. It’s payday for women
- 1.5 5. It's not necessarily foreplay
- 1.6 6. It gets your creative juices going
- 1.7 7. It takes away the commitment that comes with intercourse
- 1.8 8. There are still a few risks
- 1.9 9. It can still serve as a great form of foreplay
- 1.10 10. It makes for an interesting conversation
- 2 The Bottomline
10 Things To Know About Outercourse
1. You can still get kinky with it
Since outercourse is a way to practice abstinence or safety with your partner while still enjoying some of the pleasures sex has to offer, some people think of it as ’vanilla’ and boring. On the contrary, it's not! Since outercourse includes all things non-penetrative, a few kinky acts make the cut.
Some BDSM activities can qualify as outercourse as well since they don’t require penetration. So you and your partner can freely whip out your handcuffs, restraints, blindfolds, etc, and not have to worry about getting way too down and dirty.
Some other activities like cunnilingus, fellatio, and rimming, which most can attest are far from boring, are also part of this package. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not monotonous, in reality, outercourse is very variable with so many acts and positions to discover and explore.
2. Happy endings are guaranteed
Since outercourse is common among teens and a few early blooming tweens, people often think it's a journey with no end (that is no orgasm), a big tease, and a waste of time. This is very far from the truth, so many nonpenetrative acts are pleasurable enough to give you an orgasm.
The upside to this is that the entire process can last as long as you choose, which means that men who struggle with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation can prolong their experience with ease.
So many adults complain about how below average and rapid penetrative sex tends to become after a while and to make it even worse, most times it doesn’t even end with an orgasm. With outercourse, you have a higher chance of having an orgasm and you can regulate how long you’d want your sessions to last.
3. It’s way safer than penetrative sex
Yes, there’s more good news, outercourse really is way more safe compared to other forms of intercourse. In terms of contracting an STI, STD, or getting pregnant you’re way more on the safe side if you decide to indulge.
Your inner skin (Skin found in the vagina, mouth, and Anus) consists of mucosal tissue which is naturally more absorbent and makes it more prone to catching an infection or disease.
Touch is safer on the outer skin since the skin on the outer parts of our body consist of epithelial tissue, which is meant to cover and protect our innards. So stimulating sensitive spots on our outer parts can give us the same amount of satisfaction while eliminating the usual risks associated with penetrative sex.
Even if there are a few risks involved such as contracting STIs through oral sex, it’s generally safer and better than completer abstinence.
4. It’s payday for women
Studies show that only 18% of women reported being able to orgasm through intercourse, from vaginal penetration. A majority of the female population confess to needing more than vaginal stimulation to have an orgasm, they reported that they need other forms of stimulation especially clitoral and nipple stimulation.
Our society today prioritizes the male’s pleasure over the female’s (generally speaking) putting women at the back row of sexual pleasure. Because of this, a handful of women have had to fake an orgasm just to seem normal. Unknown to their male counterparts, there are so many other ways to carry them along.
Outercourse is a big solution to this problem since women have more pleasure spots outside their bodies than men do; non-penetrative stimulation is bound to put females back on the receiving end of the pleasure exchange.
5. It's not necessarily foreplay
The old cultural script that placed everything preceding intercourse in the foreplay category is getting extinct. Penile-vaginal penetration is not considered the main course of sexual activity anymore, but just one of many options to pick.
This means that not everything has to lead up to sex and not everything has to end in it either, partner shouldn’t have to expect the same sequence every time they want to engage in sexual activity.
Going from some rushed foreplay just to get her in the mood to a short-lived intercourse session and then finally the climax and cuddle or sleep is old news. Though outercourse involves some activities carried out during foreplay, it doesn’t necessarily have to lead up to intercourse, sometimes it can serve as the main course or just a teaser to keep things exciting.
6. It gets your creative juices going
There’s so much you can do while engaging in penetrative sex, it’s true there are hundreds of positions you could try out, according to the Kamasutra. But come to think of it, how many of those positions actually work or are comfortable and practical?
One look at the Kamasutra and you already feel unfit, it seems like a sex manual for athletes. This puts a limit on the fun and adventure you can gain from intercourse.
Outercourse gives you and your partner opportunities to get creative, it provides a blank canvas for you and your spouse to get artistic with.
It didn’t just start recently, but couples have been painting on the hypothetical outercourse canvas for a while, I mean its not everyone who has heard about sexual acts like breast sex (tit sex), bagpiping/axillary sex, footjobs, Intercrural sex, or thigh sex and so much more.
Who knows what adventurous couple came up with these and spread the news, perhaps the next new thing is on you.
7. It takes away the commitment that comes with intercourse
Apart from preventing pregnancy, trying to avoid infections and diseases, or practicing abstinence, outercourse also gives you an escape from any form of emotional commitment. Some people take penetrative sex very seriously, they feel that you should be in a committed relationship before you share that degree of intimacy with a person.
For these folk, outercourse is a way for them to fulfill their sexual urges without having to commit to someone they’re merely physically attracted to. Even people who are in the talking stages of their relationship and aren’t so sure if things are going to get more serious can decide to stick with outercourse.
Since without penetration there tend to be fewer expectations from both parties, the pressure to call or text each other back may not really be as intense as it would with penetrative sex and it gives each person space and freedom to decide how they truly feel about the person in question before jumping into something more serious; without having to practice complete abstinence
8. There are still a few risks
Although outercourse is relatively safer compared to penetrative sex, there are still a few risks associated with it. Some of these sexual activities could still allow bodily fluids to penetrate the outer portions of the body into the less protected regions.
Certain sexually transmitted diseases can still be contracted through outercourse and some diseases and infections can be transmitted from skin to skin.
For sexual activities like tribadism, Intercrural sex, Frot (the male act of rubbing the tips of two penises together), and the likes of Intergluteal sex (rubbing the penis between a partner’s butt cheeks), a condom may still be required especially if you don’t really know the person you’re engaging with.
Also, if you’re trying to avoid getting pregnant (and don’t want to practice abstinence), using some form of protection is still advised; while in the process of ejaculation, some semen or pre-cum could still get into the vaginal tract.
On the bright side, some forms of outercourse could still be done with clothing on, which shields participants from transmitting skin-to-skin infections. That being said, it's advisable to have an open and honest discussion with your partner beforehand, to make sure you both understand each other's boundaries and practice acceptable personal hygiene.
9. It can still serve as a great form of foreplay
Whether this is a good or bad thing depends on you, some already committed couples may be very ok using outercourse as a form of foreplay. Gaining sexual pleasure from non-penetrative sexual activity and just going with the flow.
It could add a little excitement to the entire session knowing that you’re just having fun exploring each other’s bodies and not having a conclusive end in mind.
On the other hand, for people who are engaging in outercourse for safety purposes or because they aren’t ready for activities that involve penetration, this isn’t really a positive. If we’re being honest, it's very easy to get lost in the act, especially when there’s lots of chemistry between you and your partner.
One act is most likely to lead to the next, so it's wise to think and plan ahead for any unplanned slip-ups. However, everyone has some degree of sexual agency and therefore can choose whether they’d like to proceed from their outercourse activities to activities that involve penetration.
10. It makes for an interesting conversation
Intercourse is so mainstream at this point that it's almost a regular, everyday conversation within different social groups. There’s a conversation about penis size, the duration of time spent during sex, oral sex, how to make your body parts more appealing to your partner, and other normal sex-related topics.
Outercourse however is more unusual and out of the ordinary, most people don’t even know the word exists or what exactly is involved. Some don’t even know there are more than one or two masturbation techniques or that humping is a thing. The whole topic of outercourse would make for a newer and more interesting conversation for you and your girls.
Think of the next time you’re having a night out with friends or attending a bachelorette party, games like ‘never have I ever’ and ‘truth or dare’ will be way more interesting. The upside about outercourse conversations is that they never get old since there are so many more outercourse techniques to discover.
There are so many existing outercourse practices that are so unusual you would completely capture the full attention of your friends. Also, more conversation about outercourse would help educate your less informed friends or perhaps even get you more informed about more recent outercourse techniques.
I hope you enjoyed this article. Remember, outercourse is always an option and can be used if you want to avoid diseases, unwanted pregnancies if you’re practicing abstinence or you’re just not into period sex. Please let me know what you think about this topic in the comment section below and be sure to share it.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.