Have you ever heard of obsessive ex syndrome?
Maybe you are living in a situation where you have to deal with obsessive ex syndrome on a regular basis! That can be quite dangerous, especially if your ex just does not seem to understand that the breakup is final.
You may be dealing with a man who has a personality disorder or syndrome that is making your life miserable. As Psychology Today explains, the obsessive ex syndrome involves the personality of someone who is very immature and self-centered. They may crave or demand an unreasonable amount of attention and affection. Why should you give them that? It’s over!
As the article continues to explain, that’s not even the worst of it! Your ex may become violent or stalk you if you don’t respond to their needy behavior. There are even cases where exes become murderous with their rage. You should never put up with any of this! Make sure you are in a safe relationship with your ex or seek help right away!
In this article, we’ll look at what’s involved in the obsessive ex syndrome so that you know what to watch out for! Let’s get started!
- 1 Obsessive Ex Syndrome Signs
- 1.1 1. He is too needy
- 1.2 2. He is very manipulative
- 1.3 3. He is controlling
- 1.4 4. He is demanding
- 1.5 5. He is invasive
- 1.6 6. He blackmails you
- 1.7 7. He is very dramatic
- 1.8 8. He is insecure
- 1.9 9. He is very jealous
- 1.10 10. He lacks personal boundaries
- 1.11 11. He acts like you did not break up
- 1.12 12. He threatens you
- 1.13 13. He verbally abuses you
- 1.14 14. He emotionally abuses you
- 1.15 15. He physically abuses you
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
Obsessive Ex Syndrome Signs
1. He is too needy
Your ex could want all your attention and affection even though you have ended the relationship. This can be especially difficult if you have children and he was an ex-husband. He may use your children as an opportunity to spend time with you and get your attention. That is one of the stages of obsessive love – the need for attention.
2. He is very manipulative
A manipulative ex will do things like pleading with you or crying in front of you. You may find this quite pathetic if you are trying to move on with your life with a new partner. In fact, if this behavior gets to the point of just being embarrassing, you should distance yourself from your old partner. You don’t have to go along with any manipulation!
3. He is controlling
Is your ex overly interested in everything that you do? This kind of obsession is not healthy, especially when the relationship is over! Why does he need to know who you are with, what you are doing, how you feel, and why you have decided to do the things you enjoy doing in your life. Don’t give him an inch! Keep your distance from this!
4. He is demanding
Some exes have a lot of trouble letting go and escalate the situation to new levels. He may require extra attention to fulfill his insecurities; you are not required to be his therapist and listen to all of his problems! You are his past partner, not his current one. This means that you can have your own life that does not include him!
5. He is invasive
Does your ex-partner always want to know what you are doing? Does he come over unannounced? Does he call at all hours or text you non-stop? This kind of obsession is not a good thing, especially with an ex-partner. Your relationship is over; you need to set some limits with him or speak to the police or a lawyer to take appropriate action.
6. He blackmails you
Sometimes, when guys don’t get their way in relationships, they use blackmail as a way to get what they want. They might threaten to post pictures of you on the internet if you don’t do what they say or tell you to do. First, you should never take racy pictures with someone you think may blackmail you. Second, don’t give in to threats.
Finally, explain to your ex that if he does what he’s threatening to do, you will talk to the authorities about his action, and you will never have a relationship with him in any sort of fashion. Tell him that he will lose a friend if he participates in blackmail. Most likely, he will not go through with his threats, but be prepared to take legal action if he does!
7. He is very dramatic
He may do things like pick fights for no reason or cause scenes in front of your children or a new partner. If the father of your children acts this way, you may want to document it in the event you decide to seek sole custody. No father should act this way in front of his children. Document, record, and keep diligent records of all instances of this behavior.
8. He is insecure
If your old partner acts in any of these ways, he probably has issues with insecurity. It’s not your job to make sure he is happy; you are no longer a couple, so don’t feel obligated to meet his needs. You might want to suggest that he see a counselor or therapist for his issues; explain that you want him to be happy but won’t be bullied.
Remember that a healthy relationship has love, communication, and respect in it. You don’t need to validate another person to make them feel more secure about themselves. That’s not your job; you probably have a full-time job. THAT is your job! Your job is not making sure your ex is taken care of emotionally or in any way, really.
9. He is very jealous
Your ex might show a great deal of jealousy if he is obsessive. He may not be able to keep his distance if you go out on a date with another guy. In fact, he could even show up whenever you are on a date in an effort to scare off the guy you are with! He might even make a scene, embarrassing you in public!
10. He lacks personal boundaries
It’s very likely that your ex has boundary issues if he invades your space and doesn’t give you time to heal from the break-up. He may assume the two of you are still together because he wishes it were the case. Make sure you are clear with the amount of space and how much time you need away from him and ask him to honor your request.
11. He acts like you did not break up
Many guys have trouble letting go after the end of a relationship. They believe it’s more of a “break” like on the show Friends. If you know that there is no hope of a future, you should be clear with your ex so that he doesn’t have the wrong impression. Tell him it’s over, and that will never change. Hopefully, he will take your words seriously.
12. He threatens you
Your ex might think that if he tells you “or else” all of the time, you will do what he wants you to do. You don’t have to put up with this kind of behavior with an ex. He should respect you, not make you feel scared or worried about the way things are going. Consider taking legal action if the way he’s acting scares you!
13. He verbally abuses you
Verbal abuse happens when one person yells at another person. It may also occur if name-calling takes place. You don’t need to put up with this. I would suggest keeping your distance from a verbally abusive ex. You might even want to involve the authorities if it gets out of control. Remember that what he says isn’t true! He’s just insecure!
14. He emotionally abuses you
Emotional abuse occurs when one individual makes another person feel a certain way. It’s a form of manipulation. Why is he acting like this? Does he not understand that your break-up is final? Don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad about yourself when you know you really are a bright, special person who deserves to be treated well.
15. He physically abuses you
At the first sign of hitting or abuse, you should contact the authorities. If your ex is making you nervous by the way he’s acting, you may want to have 911 on speed dial. You should try to stay away from him as much as possible because you don’t want to get hurt in any way. There is no excuse for this type of action, so stay clear!
If your ex-partner can’t let go, he may have obsessive ex syndrome. Ex-partners that insist the two of you are not broken up have issues because you have clearly ended things. Your ex might not accept your break-up because he feels lost without you – not your problem!
The best thing you can do to deal with the syndrome obsessive ex may have is to make sure you are clear that it is over. You may need a restraining order if you are the victim of stalking or abusive behavior. Someone with this syndrome may become violent.
Yes, many times, it’s easy to not be able to accept a break-up, especially if it involves an ex-wife or ex-husband. If you are dealing with child custody problems with an ex-husband, he could easily make things hard for you by manipulating and threatening you.
You can get a restraining order for your ex if they are affecting your life in a negative way. Talk to your family and friends about what solutions they think are best for you and your children. They may have insight into your ex-relationship that you do not.
Of course! Many exes can’t let go of their relationships. They may become an obsessed ex if their thoughts continue to haunt them and they can’t get over you. An obsessed ex could even start domestic violence if he or she doesn’t get their way.
What do you think about an ex who has an obsession with his ex-partner? Are you in a situation where your past love interest can’t leave you alone? Make sure you get away from your ex-partner if you have become a victim of abuse or stalking! Please leave a comment!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.