It’s important that you know the obsessive bf signs, so you know what to look out for in a guy. You want to know the signs of a healthy love relationship, so you can be with a guy who cares about you the right way and gives you an appropriate amount of attention.
You also want to be with a guy who loves you the way a boyfriend should. He should give you the space you need, illustrating healthy boundaries in a relationship. This way, you can see the behavior a boyfriend should be showing you. This guy should treat you like a princess!
He shouldn’t show obsessive love because that tends to involve the behavior of someone who is insecure and not sure of who he is. You shouldn’t need to validate the self-esteem of your boyfriend. Real love happens between two healthy individuals that want to be in a good relationship.
In this article, we will look at the signs of obsession in a relationship and what you should do if you find yourself in relationships with obsessive love in them.
- 1 Top Signs Of An Obsessive Boyfriend (What To Look Out For)
- 1.1 1. He is overprotective
- 1.2 2. He is very controlling
- 1.3 3. He tends to be too jealous
- 1.4 4. He lacks boundaries
- 1.5 5. He thinks about you all of the time
- 1.6 6. He always wants to know what you are doing
- 1.7 7. He has very low self-esteem
- 1.8 8. He has a need for constant validation
- 1.9 9. He wants to spend every second with you
- 1.10 10. He shows up wherever you are
- 1.11 11. He wants to be the only person in your life
- 1.12 12. He smothers you
- 1.13 13. He acts like a stalker at times
- 1.14 14. He gives you ultimatums
- 1.15 15. He only talks about you in conversations
- 1.16 16. He stalks you on social media
- 1.17 17. He has alienated you from your friends and family
- 1.18 18. He thinks you are cheating on him
- 1.19 19. He rushes the relationship
- 1.20 20. He talks to your friends behind your back
- 1.21 21. He must have constant communication with you
- 2 What To Do If You Have An Obsessive Boyfriend
- 3 Warning Signs of a Dangerous Boyfriend
- 4 FAQs
- 5 In Summary
Top Signs Of An Obsessive Boyfriend (What To Look Out For)
1. He is overprotective
I actually think it’s cute when my boyfriend is a little overprotective; I know he really cares about my safety and well-being. However, it can be a bad thing, especially if he invades your personal boundaries.
For a silly little example, if he tells you that you are not allowed to go to the store because there are too many people there that might hit on you, he’s being too overprotective. He’s acting as though you cannot do things by yourself.
When we look at love, we know that it involves trust and healthy communication. He could very easily say that he doesn’t think that going to the store, for a lame example, is a good idea, but not insist that you are not allowed to go. Behavior such as this is not a part of being in love; rather, it’s all about controlling another person. Not good!
2. He is very controlling
This sign is pretty self-explanatory, but if your boyfriend dictates what you should wear, who you should be around, what you should be doing, or where you should hang out, he’s being too controlling, and this is not healthy. Make sure you have your freedom and feel safe with your man; don’t let anyone control the way you live your life.
3. He tends to be too jealous
Of course, being jealous can be very dangerous when it comes to our boyfriends. We want to be with an individual who is “cute” jealous but not scary jealous. For example, if he says, “Was that guy trying to steal you away from me?” in a cute little tone, that’s just adorable, provided he isn’t raging mad when he says it.
However, if your man can’t stand you even talking to another person, that is a problem. You need to be with a person who trusts you when you do things, an individual who knows you are not cheating on him or anything like that when you do things.
4. He lacks boundaries
Most of what we’ve talked about so far are related to boundaries, but boundaries can also come into play when it comes to your personal space. Make sure you are with a person who treats you fairly and gives you the space you need when you need it. If you need to read a book for school, he shouldn’t demand all of your attention all of the time!
5. He thinks about you all of the time
While this can be a cute sign of love, it can also mean that your man is being obsessive. If you are the only focus in his life, that isn’t healthy. Instead, you need to be with a person who has a nice balance of interests in his life.
6. He always wants to know what you are doing
Does your guy always need to know what you are up to? Why does he feel the need to understand what you are doing every single second of the day? It may be better to be with a person who trusts you; he shouldn’t need to know the details of everything you do. It’s a healthy part of love to show interest in the little things, but it can go too far at times.
For example, if your boyfriend acts more like a journalist when you talk, that isn’t healthy love. He might want a detailed account of what you’ve done since the second you woke up if he’s acting like a journalist. Instead, love involves one person asking about how the other person’s day went from the time he or she woke up. That shows healthy interest.
7. He has very low self-esteem
Anyone who shows symptoms of obsession is not healthy; it’s not good to be in an obsessive love relationship. More than likely, your man has very low self-esteem and seeks the approval of others quite often. He may feel bad about himself for some reason, causing him to want to control and dictate everything you do.
8. He has a need for constant validation
Does your man insist that you frequently tell him all of the reasons that you are in love with him? Does he question your love for him, insisting that you are not really in love with him? What kinds of insecurities have you noticed with him? All of these aren’t great signs that he is in love, but rather that he needs a person to validate him.
9. He wants to spend every second with you
Every couple needs their space. It isn’t really healthy to spend every waking second together. I mean, I know when you are first in love, it’s natural to want to spend all of your time with your love, but there are some limits to this. Does he follow you in the bathroom? I mean, there must be private moments for each person.
10. He shows up wherever you are
It’s so easy to tell where a person is going to be with Facebook, Twitter, and all of the other social media forums. Everyone announces where they are going in advance, so it’s easy to just show up at that place. If your man isn’t respecting your boundaries or personal time that you just need to be without him, he may be obsessive.
11. He wants to be the only person in your life
Has your boyfriend interfered with your relationships with other people – your family, friends, acquaintances, and business associates? This isn’t good; you should have plenty of relationships outside of your romance.
12. He smothers you
If you feel as though your man is smothering you, you should talk to him because this isn’t healthy. You need to let him know that you need more personal space.
If he’s overly sensitive, just explain that it isn’t because you don’t enjoy spending time with him; you just need some time to yourself to do what you need to. Explain that you’ll make time for him.
13. He acts like a stalker at times
Watch out for the warning signs that he is a stalker. You don’t want to be with a person who is dangerous. If he knows what you’ve been up to without you telling him, he’s getting his information in another way. This isn’t the best thing by far! You want to be with a man who will give you the freedom to live your life without interference.
14. He gives you ultimatums
Another sign of obsession is when a person issues ultimatums. He might say, “You better go with me to my office party, or else we are going to break up.” Alternatively, he could say something like, “If you don’t go with me to my office party, I’m going to be so mad at you; I don’t care how sick you are.” Those aren’t very caring things to say!
15. He only talks about you in conversations
He doesn’t seem to have other interests in his life if you are the only subject he wants to talk about. It’s flattering; this is true, but it’s also a little like he’s a stalker if he can’t talk about anything other than you. He needs to have hobbies and passions outside of his relationship. Wouldn’t you agree with this statement?
Does he like or comment on every post you put out there on social media? He may be bored, but more likely, his area of interest is very narrow; it’s all about you and only you!
17. He has alienated you from your friends and family
As mentioned before, you want to be with a man who values your personal time and space. That means that when you need to see your friends and family on your own, he doesn’t have to be invited. He shouldn’t get mad at you for wanting to spend time with others. It’s best to be with an individual who is secure about himself.
18. He thinks you are cheating on him
A guy who believes you are always cheating on him may be doing so for many reasons. He might be cheating on you or be a very jealous person, but there’s also the possibility that he’s just very obsessed with you. He may have some serious insecurities that need to be resolved before you let him be your boyfriend.
19. He rushes the relationship
Sometimes, we fall in love, and it feels like a whirlwind romance. Everything goes so fast that we are blinded by love. This happens, and it’s normal, but if you are feeling rushed, it may mean he has an issue of being obsessed with you. He may be forcing something that just isn’t ready to be in that place right now.
20. He talks to your friends behind your back
Does he have secret conversations with your friends? Do you feel like your privacy is being invaded by what is being said behind your back? You may want to talk to your friends about not sharing information about you with him anymore if this is the case. Also, be sure to talk to your man about this behavior, letting him know it’s not okay.
21. He must have constant communication with you
With texting, social media, direct messaging, and phone calls, when you are in love, it’s easy to stay in touch with the person you are with. However, this can go overboard if you feel like you cannot live your life without reporting the details of what you are about to do with the person you love. There is a limit to how much communication you should give.
What To Do If You Have An Obsessive Boyfriend
If you are in a relationship that has obsessive love in it, you should consider taking serious action. It may be a good idea to get out of the relationship, especially if there are signs of abusive behavior. If you have an abusive boyfriend or see any sign of abuse, you should contact the authorities and get medical or emotional treatment.
If you have had to get medical or emotional treatment because of something your boyfriend said or did, you are not in a healthy relationship. Instead, your boyfriend’s obsession with you has caused unhealthy changes in your life, which have possibly made you feel like a failure. You are NOT a failure and deserve to feel love like it was meant to be felt.
A person with obsessive love may be controlling and uncomfortable with changes in the relationship; this isn’t healthy, either. You may feel like everything you do is unacceptable with this guy, as he is hard to please. Guys who act like this are dangerous and will only lead to unhappiness because their obsession has taken over the healthy part of their brain.
Men who require things that always go their way are unhealthy and do not deserve to be called men. They are insecure in themselves, and you can do much better. You may not feel like things are all that great right now, but when the right love comes along, you will know it, and you will feel the best you have ever felt because you waited for Mr. Right!
Warning Signs of a Dangerous Boyfriend
Watch closely for any sign of abuse in a relationship. You do not want to be with anyone who feels the need to make you feel like less of a person because it makes them feel better. If you need to, involve the authorities and take legal action to get this person out of your life. It will make all the difference in the world if you remove the individual from every part of your life.
People do make mistakes, and changes can make all the difference in a relationship, but you should seek professional help with your guy to make sure there is no sign of abuse in your partnership. You want what you have with each other to be real, don’t you? You will feel the best you have ever felt once your love for one another is true and healthy.
Obsessive love can be dangerous if someone begins to be too much of a stalker. If you see signs of abuse in an obsessive love relationship, you should seek help immediately. Don’t let someone talk nasty to you. One red flag would be someone who physically abuses you.
Obsessive love may occur if you are completely absorbed by your partner. You may be very controlling and possessive of them; these are signs that someone has an obsessive personality disorder. It’s best to steer clear of people like this because their obsession is not healthy.
The signs may be unclear because they can be quite similar. Often, someone who shows obsessive love also is in love with their partner; at least, that is what they believe to be the truth. Jealousy is usually involved with obsessive love, but it isn’t cute or healthy jealousy.
The signs you may be in obsessive love include jealousy and control. You may feel jealousy with your partner if they have a relationship with someone else. Another sign of obsession includes having a controlling nature; you want your partner to only be with you and no one else.
Allow them to be themselves; give them a healthy amount of attention; don’t smother them with rules and abusive behavior – either physical or emotional. Also, verbally abusive behavior should not be a problem in the relationship. Let them freely express their emotions and feelings without judgment.
Obsession can be part of a dangerous disorder if the signs are there. Make sure you aren’t in relationships where this kind of negative treatment is taking place. In fact, make sure you feel secure in your relationship.
I’d love to hear your opinion on obsessive love. Comment and share!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.