Does no one want to date you? This is actually one of the most frustrating and perplexing issues I’ve always heard of in a relationship.
A lot of you are currently in this situation; and this is probably the reason why you gave up on searching for that person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. You are starting a new life, you want to remain single to stupor till eternity, right? Were you interested in a guy who does not have any emotional feelings for you? Or they just want to have sex with you and just dump you?.
Oh, I get, those guys or girls you’ve been in a relationship with do have an affair with other people and you seem not to like it, so you came to the conclusion that there is nobody that wants to date you. Well, if the reasons I’ve given are not just why you came to the conclusion, then what could it be?
Because I know it’s very rare for someone to make it a goal that he or she wants to be single forever. Regardless of whatever reason you have to make this decision, I’m here to share mine and I’m pretty sure the reason for yours would be among them.
Stay tuned and get ready!
Why Does Nobody Want To Date Me?
I can’t give an accurate answer to this question because it’s something that deals with experience in a relationship. One really needs to have been in a situation like this so she can share her experience. Experience is very important in relationship talks or education. And as an expert who has been in more than 10 relationships, I think my suggestions are indeed needed here.
Some of the reasons for the question which act as the topic above are listed below with their solutions.
1. You Are Too Selective
Some women have a tendency to be picky. They are always aiming for the highest things whenever they need to buy something. You don’t settle for the less, instead, you aim for the big ones.
Presently, everyone really doesn’t want to know the whole thing that love entails, instead they are interested in what love has to offer. We are all overwhelmed by the material things which love has to offer, especially women. When we don’t get what we want on our first dates, we forget about the guy and the next time he invites us, we turn him down.
Sometimes, you may even think it’s better to be single rather than being with somebody that does not pass your dating checklist. This is common among women. When this is taken to its extreme, the mindset of staying away from guys is generated. And once this continues for a long time you will come to a point where you think there is no need to get into a relationship with anyone.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t have your standards but flexibility is very important. There is no guy that will be completely perfect. Maybe it’s his appearance you don’t like, or what he does for a living. All these things must be checked before you give a guy the positive answer, but you should know that all this doesn’t define who he is, instead they are just situational things. The guy can be such a caring and lovely person, but you may look past that if all you care about is your standard.
What To Do About It:
Try to make a maximum of five attributes you want in a guy. These things must be of priority to you. They don’t need to include; his annual income, where he lives, or how bald he is. Money does not bring joy or happiness in a relationship. I know these things are important but remember not all luxuries are necessary.
Lastly, when you both go out for fun, be contemptuous with what you get, don’t be covetous. Unless the guy is someone who is very stingy and doesn’t want to take good care of his partner, you can always act otherwise.
My husband currently does not have 60% of the qualities I listed in my diary about the man of my dreams but as the relationship goes along, I’m able to see and understand the kind of man he is. My personality matches his and we are always cool together. Imagine if I had to wait until I get the perfect person I was aiming for, then maybe I would have lost this shot knowing him.
If you can just free your mind a little, and overlook some of the flaws you notice in a man, you might just get yourself the biggest surprise.
2. You Don’t Work On Yourself
One sure way to invite the guy of your dreams is by making yourself available for him. To make a relationship become successful, you need to meet him at the best time. Just like how chemical reactions work in chemistry, like dissolves like; therefore, you attract a person who has the same or similar attributes to you.
I believe that if you don’t know the worth of what you can offer, you will get what doesn’t have value and with time, you are going to be fine with it. If your emotions are always intense when you see a guy who you like or love, you will attract him with those same feelings. Sometimes you might be afraid or feel as if that guy you are dating wants to leave you, this happens because you are trying to be careful so you don’t get hurt.
Your emotion needs to be in the right place first before you can draw to yourself the kind of relationship you want. Don’t try to get into a relationship because your friends or families are forcing you to. Ensure you are going into a relationship with someone with good reasons. Also, you need to put in mind that not all that glitters is gold, you must learn to make yourself happy even in the absence of a relationship.
You have to ensure the hurtful feelings of the past are eliminated from the mind so it doesn’t affect your new love life. Once your self-esteem is good, you can always attract a person who does not only care about you but also loves you.
What To Do About It:
Have you ever asked yourself this question: “If I was to make a choice on who to date today, will I pick myself?” This question is an amazing one as it will assist you in assessing yourself so you know where you are lacking. It will enable you to try to patch up things. There is nobody that is perfect but continuous work will always help you fix imperfections.
For you to see those qualities or traits you want in a man, all you need is to ensure you possess similar qualities also. What I’m trying to say here is if you like men who have intense love towards their partner, you must make sure you are able to show that also. In as much as you also possess those qualities you need in a guy, then you are good to have that kind of person. You really need to work on yourself to get what you want in a relationship!
3. You’ve Got High Taste
This is one of the greatest obstacles that stop you from being in a relationship. You don’t want men who are at your level, all you need is high-class men who are driving Bugatti, Ferrari, Rolls Royce, etc. and you don’t have what it takes to get to them. I can’t remember the last time I checked my mail without seeing messages from women who want high-class men. And these men would never, for once, look towards their direction.
Like I said at the beginning of this article, I’ve been in more than 10 relationships and I am still learning. Most of the guys who wanted to date me were people with luxuries but I rejected their offers, and I know you might be thinking, what sort of person am I. There is always a reason for everything. These guys are so rude, they have no regards for anyone. Though I would like to be in a relationship with them, I just cannot accept every single thing they brought to the table. I can’t stand the disgrace they are going to put me through when I start dating them.
Before I met this new guy I’m dating presently, I did date a guy called Philips. Philips was good looking and has all the luxuries which can attract me to him. He was indeed fun to be with and confident. He also has a flirtatious behavior. I noticed his flaws and did try to help him out of it just like other women would like to do. But you know Scorpio guys, they are very good at flirting. They don’t mind if it’s with your friend. It’s their nature. The relationship couldn’t work out so I turned him down.
What To Do About It:
After so many disappointments, I had to figure out what could be done, at least I claim to be a relationship expert.
After I was crushed on by Philips, I made up my mind to settle down just to think about every relationship I’ve been into. I asked myself several questions. What did I get from all the relationships I’ve been in? What were the reasons for breaking up or turning the guys down? Was it my fault or theirs? Where do I need to patch things up?.
All these questions need to be answered before I try to step into another relationship, or else I will get back into the same mess again thinking no one wants to be with me or no one wants to date me. When I was able to answer all these questions, I knew where I made mistakes and what I must adjust.
4. Bad Filter System
If you ain’t able to filter out those things you don’t want in a guy, then you’ve started planning to fail before the relationship starts.
Everybody has a system that is often used to eliminate or filter off the things they don’t want. The filter system acts like that because of the configuration of the human system, but it works based on our experience. Our interests, desires and fears are all what the filter system uses when it wants to react towards anything. For instance, if you are afraid of being cheated, there is nothing you will pick up except being cheated. You might be told sweet words by a lot of people, but these won’t move you at all. All your brain will be focused on is that person who does not have an interest in you.
The way we think differs. Though we are aiming at the same thing, the way I will approach a problem will surely be different from yours.
Your filter system often determines your reality. If you have the belief that the man you want will also feel the same way, you can never find a proof for that belief. Once you start expecting this to happen, the prophecy will surely be fulfilled in no time.
Whether you do it intentionally or not, the way you behave will always attract men towards you. If you are afraid something is going to happen, surely that thing is going to manifest. Our brains have been programmed such that we view the world in a subjective way. The things that happen to us and the way we interpret it are what make reality subjective and not objective.
What To Do About It:
You must reconfigure the way your system which you use in filtering things works in order to have a successful relationship. Learn to appreciate what you see in yourself because that is only when you can appreciate what you see in a man. If you allow fear to take over everything, then you are heading towards being sabotaged.
First of all, you must eliminate any negative thoughts, try to be as positive as possible. This is very important in all relationships as it will help make it last longer. The way we think has a very huge impact in our lives, and as we all know, we have the capability to control whatever we think, I’m very certain the mindset of “no one wants me in their life” will become past.
I love keeping a diary. There is no day I don’t jot down the things I’m grateful for. This will help you have a positive mindset. You might not believe in it but for real it’s truly transformative so I implore you to do the same.
5. The Ex-Factor
This is one big fact that determines if you are ready to be in a relationship or you remain adamant saying “no one will ever love me”. You must check yourself to confirm if you are out of the trauma your ex left you in. Breaking up with your partner is not something that one just overlooks.
There is nothing as crazy as love. I’m saying this because I’ve been in a situation like this before. The pain I did pass through when I broke up with this guy took me about 6-months to get over. If you’ve also been in a situation like this before, then you will understand what I’m trying to say. You will feel like you’ve been neglected by the world. But let’s forget about this and focus on how your ex affects your thinking, “why no one wants to date me?”
They said time heals every wound, but not all wounds can be healed by time alone. There are other things which must be done. If you don’t take care of your wound and you are waiting for time, you might just have to wait till eternity. If you don’t let go of your past relationship saga, then you can’t get into a new one.
What To Do About It:
It’s normal to get hurt in a relationship, but once you are out of it, don’t be overwhelmed with the feeling that everyone is the same. Think about what really caused the breakup, were you at fault?. If yes, try to make amendments. And get into a new one. This might not be easy, but it’s very important.
There is always a reason why this happens. Try to check yourself up first to confirm if you are at or not at fault. If you are then you need to work on yourself. Since nothing can ever be perfect, continuous work can bring something near it.
There are a lot of reasons why people never find love. Listed below are some of them:
1. You can’t let go of your past.
2. You are too selective.
3. Nothing matches your choice of men or women.
4. You don’t feel like being in love again.
Yes, I can. Not everyone you like you can get into a relationship with. For instance, your parents are people who you seem to like most before meeting any other person. Will you like to be in a relationship with them? Of course no. It’s impossible.
To help you determine if you want a relationship so bad, you can check the 5 signs listed below:
1. You get consumed by the thought of being in a relationship always.
2. You can’t imagine how it feels to be single for about 6 months.
3. You can’t wait to begin a new life.
I really can’t tell but your way of life or attitude will confirm if you love him or you are just lonely so you need someone to be with. You need to be observant of yourself. The way you feel when he is around is a great key to determining if you love him or not.
I hope the information is enough to help you solve those questions going through your mind right now. You really need to work on yourself first before you can get out of this thinking. Share your thoughts with me and let me know what you think.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn’t an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.