Have you questioned the reasons why your husband seems to find fault in everything you do? Does he pick fights with you or even just pick on you whenever he’s stressed?
He continually seems irritated, nothing you do is good enough but every time you confront him about it, he gets angry.
As his wife, you're supposed to be getting preferential treatment, but it seems he’s on edge every day no matter what you do. Plus, even when you do something wrong, it feels like you caused world war 3, but if someone else does that same thing, he’d simply laugh it off.
If you’re going through something like this, don't kill yourself just yet, you're not alone. No matter how far the feminist movement has come, women are still conditioned to please the men in their lives. Sometimes, regardless of how open and ‘modern’ a couple are, one of them ends up tipping the scales in their favor.
Is this how you feel about your man? If you've been feeling responsible for this, you can breathe now because it's not your fault. Your husband must be facing some challenges of his own.
So, if you need a little help tackling this tricky issue, keep reading and discover 11 tips to deal with an angry husband.
- 1 11 Ways To Deal With Your Husband Always Getting Annoyed With You
- 1.1 1. Cater to yourself first
- 1.2 2. Reconsider his past behavior
- 1.3 3. Observe his habits
- 1.4 4. Your success may threaten him
- 1.5 5. You deserve better
- 1.6 6. The blame game
- 1.7 7. Things won't change overnight
- 1.8 8. Decide what you want
- 1.9 9. Make him feel special
- 1.10 10. Watch your actions
- 1.11 11. Avoid complicated issues
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
11 Ways To Deal With Your Husband Always Getting Annoyed With You
1. Cater to yourself first
Always getting snapped at or criticized will eventually affect your self-esteem. It could make you feel mentally exhausted and small. If he doesn't make an effort to deal with his frustration, nothing you do will make things better. Keep reminding yourself that his constant anger is not your fault. Also, he has no right to be this mean to you.
Being a supportive, understanding wife will not cure his irritability, and it definitely will not make you feel better. No matter what he says or does to you, don't play into the lie that you're responsible for his feelings. Cater to your mental well-being first, it'll take a continuous effort, but it will all be worth it in the end.
So, make sure you try your best not to wallow in self-pity, stay healthy, do things that make you happy and be determined to remain optimistic, for yourself first, then him.
2. Reconsider his past behavior
One of the first questions you should ask yourself is, “has he always been like this?” Sometimes, behaviors like this can go on for so long that you tend to forget what he was like before his episodes. Is he under pressure? What’s your spouses’ usual reaction when he feels that way? He may have always been an angry person, but you were too deep in love to realize it.
Try and be honest with yourself about his person. If his behavior is a recent development, you need to sit and have a talk with him. Find out what is ticking him off since you've established that it has little or nothing to do with you. It could be anything ranging from work, family, grief, or a mid-life crisis; regardless, you may need to try convincing him to get a therapist.
3. Observe his habits
Try to observe if his eating habits, sleep schedule, activity levels, and screen time have changed. If he's not interested in the things he used to love before, that may be a clear sign that could lead you to the source of his frustration. When someone is always upset, the key to finding out the reason for their actions is observing them first.
If you're sure that your husband hasn't always been a bitter person, he may be going through depression or something more serious. In this case, he's probably taking out his frustration on you because you're the closest person to him. Some people do this with loved ones because they can’t do it with anyone else, that doesn’t make it right though.
Talk to him about all of it; perhaps he hasn't noticed how badly he has been acting. Suggest a therapist to him, so he can get the help he needs if he’s really under pressure.
4. Your success may threaten him
It’s hardly ever openly talked about, but a lot of men have problems processing their wives' success. Because of society’s pressure, most men feel the need to be more successful than their wives. Realistically, this isn't always the case, sometimes a wife could do better career-wise, and that’s okay.
However, different men process their feelings differently, and this could be one of the reasons for his mood swings. If this is the case, then don't feel pressured to cripple your progress because of him. However, try not to rub everything in his face or make him feel left out. Make him understand that your success is his success also.
5. You deserve better
The fear of being alone has kept so many women in toxic marriages and relationships. The earlier you realize that you don't deserve to be treated like crap, the better for you. Here’s the thing, your husband may not recover from what he's going through for a while, and chances are if he's taking it out on you instead of handling it, he's not a very healthy individual.
At some point, you'd get tired of accommodating his excesses and find your way out of the marriage. If you’ve made up your mind to leave the relationship, don't let pity stop you. When it comes to mental health, it’s every man, or in this case, woman for herself.
6. The blame game
Many people cope with difficult situations by blaming others for their problems. Your man may be internally blaming you for his challenges as a coping mechanism. This information may not help you feel better, but it could help you stop blaming yourself for his bad behavior. You can't stop him from being angry; only he can decide to deal with his challenges in a healthy way.
7. Things won't change overnight
No matter the cause of his challenge, it may be difficult for your man to go back to his former happy self, especially if he has stayed angry and frustrated for a long time. He’s probably forgotten what it felt like to be happy and at peace in the relationship. He may even be having trust issues depending on the situation he's found himself in.
Perhaps, showing him that there is one constant in his life that he can always count on could help him overcome his trust issues in other aspects of his life. If you've chosen to stick around and be there for your partner, try your best to work through everything with him without having to become his emotional punching bag.
8. Decide what you want
If your husband is not ready or he’s unwilling to work through his feelings with or without you, you're going to have to be honest with yourself about what you want. You may think it’s more straightforward to avoid confrontation, but the truth is, staying in an abusive marriage is more challenging.
Depending on his personality, he may never change, and you have to think about your self-worth. Try to sit and analyze how much you're losing and what you're gaining from the situation.
Reflecting on your experiences from the start of the relationship to date will help you determine what you want. You’d need to ask yourself if it’s worth fighting for, no one can make that decision for you.
9. Make him feel special
This probably won't help everyone, but making your husband feel like a superhero may help him with his temper issues. Make him feel like the protector and provider of the family, some guys love that kind of attention. Show him that you genuinely adore him, and he’s still the love of your life. With the political climate in the world today, this may seem pathetic.
Indeed, women don’t need a knight in shining armor anymore, but if you're going to take his mind off aggressive thoughts, you might as well try this. Men are biologically and psychologically built to crave relationships that make them feel like a provider. So putting these thoughts in his mind may get him a bit more cheerful in no time.
Even in dire situations, they still want to be admired and respected, especially by the love of their life. When he starts feeling like your hero, you’d see a change in his attitude; it would also give him a new sense of responsibility and purpose.
10. Watch your actions
You may not be the cause of his irritable attitude, but specific actions could trigger an episode. Try to observe what ticks him off; if possible, give him lots of space even when you’re both in the house together. Avoid doing the things that set him off and try to make the environment at home easy for him to feel calm and safe; sometimes, irritation can be caused by anxiety.
As annoying as it seems, if you choose to stick around and be there for him, it’s one of the sacrifices you’d have to make. Also, try to be clear with him about these changes to avoid him misunderstanding you.
11. Avoid complicated issues
It’s hard for women to stay away from complicated issues; we always find a way or two to overthink things or complicate them. All these should be avoided at all costs, don’t laugh at him during his episodes or argue with him in the heat of the moment. Also, don’t ask him too many questions; he may think you are asking for a challenge, leading to physical abuse.
Try your best to stay silent if he starts to raise his voice, but if you must talk, keep your voice calm and low, don’t show any signs of fear or intimidation. When he’s calmed down, you can then go and talk with him. It’s never advisable to speak to an angry person while he’s still fuming so you both can find a solution to the problem.
The first step to dealing with an irritable husband is identifying the root cause and helping him through it. While you're doing that, be sure to avoid using humor to cover up his anger, responding defensively, or walking away while he's talking to you. Such behaviors would only make him even angrier.
It’s very normal for your spouse to annoy you from time to time, it's not easy living with one person for the rest of your life. It's not just people in toxic relationships that face this challenge, people in healthy relationships also get angry at each other once in a while.
If your husband keeps getting mad at you for no relatable reason, the truth is; you may not really be the object of his anger. He may be going through a rough patch at work or maybe dealing with the loss of a friend or family member.
If your husband is constantly putting you down, it's a form of abuse. There's nothing you could do to deserve being talked down to by another human being; the problem is not from you, it's from your husband. The truth is he probably is a toxic person and no matter what you do, he'll never say anything positive.
If your partner has no respect for you, it'll show in the way he treats you. If he doesn't truly listen to you when you talk or doesn’t consider you a priority; he keeps putting everything before you and does not respect you, try addressing it.
I hope you found this article helpful. Remember, having an irritable husband can be very traumatic, so as much as you want to be there for him, try not to neglect yourself. Stay mindful of your mental health and give him space when needed. Please let me know what you think of this in the comment section below, and share this article with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.