When you married your husband you likely thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with him, you didn’t expect things to start to fall apart, and you didn’t think that your husband would ever hate you. But you have now found yourself in this situation, you are wondering what you can do and how you can save your marriage.
You never expected that your husband would stop caring about you and you never thought that he would ever hate you. You committed yourself to spend the rest of your life with this person and you never thought it would end up like this, ever. You never thought you would be telling yourself: “my husband hates me.”
But sometimes it can happen, the person that you married can stop caring about you and you end up wondering how it happened and what you could have done differently to avoid this. Perhaps there was something that you didn’t see or there was something that you didn’t do. Why does he hate you? Keep reading for tips to save your marriage.
- 1 My Husband Hates Me
- 2 Why He Hates You And Why Your Marriage May Be Failing
- 2.1 1. He Hates You Because Of Your Lack Of Communication
- 2.2 2. He Hates You Because You Are Always Arguing With Each Other
- 2.3 3. Neither Of You Put Effort Into Your Relationship Anymore
- 2.4 4. You Don’t Appreciate Each Other
- 2.5 5. You Are No Longer Affectionate Toward Each Other
- 2.6 6. You Get Annoyed When The Other Person Talks
- 2.7 7. You Have Been Unfaithful To Each Other
- 3 Ways To Help You Save Your Marriage
- 4 FAQs
- 5 On That Note…
My Husband Hates Me
It is important to remember that you are not alone in this situation, there is little dividing hate and love, even if he does hate you now, there is a chance that you can find a way to love one another again and resolve your marriage. While there is likely nothing that you can do if he doesn’t care that your relationship falls apart, if he stays around there are ways to fix your marriage.
As long as he shows you that he is willing to work on your issues and return your marriage to what it used to be then there is a chance that this will happen. Once he shows that he is still committed to fixing your relationship, even a little bit, there is a chance that you can make your marriage work.
How do you find out if he has stopped loving you or stopped caring about your relationship or whether you are just going through a rough patch and things can be resolved? Notice the signs that his love has changed or turned into something else. If you have noticed that things have been different lately, keep reading for ways to help to resolve your marriage.
Why He Hates You And Why Your Marriage May Be Failing
1. He Hates You Because Of Your Lack Of Communication
Just because you haven’t been communicating well with your partner lately, it does not necessarily mean that all of the love that you once shared is gone. It is important to remember that things can be fixed if this is the issue that is causing your husband’s negative feelings towards you so don’t give up hope just yet.
If you know that something is wrong in your relationship but neither of you has mentioned it to each other, this could be where your problems lie. No relationship is going to work without communication. Every healthy relationship or marriage involves a lot of honest and open communication in order for them to work out.
If you are married to someone, you likely spend a lot of time with them and are deeply emotionally connected to them, so if you feel tense, your partner is likely going to feel it. It is important that you bring up such issues to each other before things get any worse. As if you continue to hold things inside, your marriage may end up beyond repair.
2. He Hates You Because You Are Always Arguing With Each Other
Your husband may have developed these feelings toward you if you are always arguing. If you are unable to have a simple conversation anymore without it turning into an argument then this could explain your issues. If, whenever either of you tries to start a conversation, the other partner turns it into an argument, this could have made you hate each other.
It is important that, if you are arguing with each other all of the time you address your issues and you talk things out in an open and honest conversation. Agree to give each other time to speak without getting annoyed or walking out. You are only going to be able to figure things out if you really listen to each other’s perspectives first.
If you both want to make your marriage work you are going to have to put effort into communicating with each other better. Talk about the things that make you both unhappy in your relationship and work out solutions together so that you can resolve these issues. If you ignore them, things are only going to get worse between you.
3. Neither Of You Put Effort Into Your Relationship Anymore
Try and remember the last thing you did just to make your partner smile. If you are unable to remember the last kind act you did for your partner then this may explain your marital issues. If you haven’t even washed the dishes for him recently, bought him his favorite chocolate bar, or complimented him on his new shirt, he may be feeling unloved and uncared for.
If you both always used to do little things to make each other happy, then the absence of these little acts of kindness may have caused the love in your relationship to fade. Perhaps you have started forgetting each other’s birthdays, your wedding anniversary and you no longer even buy each other presents for Christmas.
This does not necessarily mean that the love you had for each other has completely gone, it may just mean that you have become complacent. If you think that these are the reasons for his feelings toward you then remember the things that you used to do for each other, remember to compliment him every now and again, help him out when he needs it and make him smile.
4. You Don’t Appreciate Each Other
Perhaps you have just got used to having each other around so much that you forget to show appreciation. You just expect your partner to be there for you and you forget to thank him or show any kind of appreciation for the nice things that he does for you. If you no longer appreciate the nice things that you do for each your relationship is not in a good place.
5. You Are No Longer Affectionate Toward Each Other
This is one of the main signs that the love that you once shared in your relationship is gone. If you are no longer affectionate with each other, something is really amiss. The physical connection in any relationship is so important, and if it no longer exists then your relationship is likely in trouble.
If you never hold hands, you never kiss and you never cuddle each other then you have likely lost your emotional connection as well as your physical one. If you avoid physical contact with each other completely, then your relationship is likely not in a very good place. Don’t ignore these signs, if you no longer have a physical connection, try and sort it out.
There are many reasons why your physical connection may have been lost, and there is hope that you can get it back, with work and with time. Consider whether you have both been stressed or busy lately as this may explain this issue. If neither of you has been busy, you may have simply just lost all interest in each other.
6. You Get Annoyed When The Other Person Talks
No matter what you say he gets annoyed at you and whatever he says to you, you find yourself getting annoyed at him. It doesn’t matter what either of you says to each other, neither of you is really listening and you both just get annoyed. This is a sign that you have lost the respect that you had for each other and you no longer pay attention to each other.
This is a hard thing to accept but if you feel as if he always gets annoyed at you when you talk, consider how you react when he tries to talk to you. If you respond in exactly the same way as him, then you are both at fault. It is important to try and work on your communication and rebuild the respect that you once had for each other or it is never going to work between you.
If you tell each other how you feel it may be easier to find a solution. However, if neither of you listens to the other person and neither of you really cares about finding a solution, it may be time to accept that your marriage is over. Don’t ignore what is happening, either try to find a solution or let it go and try and move on from him.
7. You Have Been Unfaithful To Each Other
If your relationship has changed recently you may not be as open with each other as you once were. This may make it easier for you to be unfaithful to each other. If you once shared everything about your life with this person and now you don’t really talk, you may not notice that his behavior has changed and he has been acting differently.
If you have noticed that his behavior has changed and he is spending a lot more time talking to someone else on his phone, then he may be being unfaithful to you. Consider whether he is spending more time on social media than ever before, whether he is always on his phone or whether he is out of the house a lot more than normal.
If he gets annoyed at you for asking where he is been and he tells you that he needs privacy these may be signs that he is being unfaithful to you. If you have been unfaithful to him, this likely explains why he hates you. He may be unable to forgive you for what you have done and there is no point trying to force him to feel differently if you are the one at fault.
Ways To Help You Save Your Marriage
You have realized that your marriage is failing and you have noticed that your husband has started to hate you. You are likely wondering whether there is any hope left and whether there is anything that you can do to make your marriage work. Don’t worry, not all hope is lost. If he really didn’t care at all he would have walked out of the door already.
It is important to remember that there must be a reason why he stayed around and he likely hasn’t lost all love for you, he just isn’t showing it. Many men aren’t as open with their emotions and feelings as women and this can cause marital issues. If neither of you has been communicating how you have been feeling you are likely not in a good place.
If you have been having problems in your marriage, you likely want to know how to fix them. You want your marriage to work out and you don’t want to see it fail. After all, you committed yourself to spend the rest of your life with this person. Take things slowly and don’t expect it to work out straight away.
1. Be Honest With Each Other
This the first and most important thing to remember if you are trying to fix your marriage. There is no way that you are going to resolve any of your issues if you are not completely honest with each other about how you are both feeling. This is the first step in fixing your marriage and it is important that both of you commit to being honest.
Instead of thinking about the reasons why he hates you, sit with him, and tell him how you are feeling. Prepare yourself for his reply and it is important that you accept it rather than ignore it, even if it does hurt to hear it. Nothing is simple in a marriage and you may both be at fault for causing your marriage to fail so make sure that you listen to what he has to say.
It is important to try and be honest and open up to each other more than you have been. Avoid ignoring your feelings as they are just going to build up and may turn into hatred eventually. Don’t ignore anything just because it is painful to accept as it is only going to add to your issues.
2. Communicate With Him
If you feel like your marriage is failing it is important that you work on your communication with your partner. If you come home after a long day at work and you just switch on the television rather than having a chat with each other, this may be one of your problems. If you are too busy to even have a conversation with each other then something is majorly wrong.
It is important that you are able to prioritize time to spend together and to use that time to talk to each other properly and really communicate. Make sure that you agree to make an effort to talk to each other more and to communicate how you are both feeling more often. There is no way you are going to be able to fix your marriage without healthy communication.
If you don’t tell each other how you are feeling then there is no way that the other person is going to know. You may even be surprised by how much communication can help your relationship. Talking to each other properly will help you to feel closer to each other and it will renew your emotional bond. Communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship.
3. Fulfill Each Other’s Needs
Remember back to when you started seeing each other and you would both to whatever you could to make one another happy? Perhaps your busy life got in the way and you stopped caring for his needs as much as you used to. Maybe you don’t even know what his needs are anymore. It is important that you prioritize taking care of one another like you used to.
Agree to set aside quality time to spend together and to take care of each other. This may be giving your partner a massage after a long day at work, cooking each other your favorite dinner, or helping out with his household chores. Don’t make excuses if you have promised to do something for each other as this is only going to set you back further.
If you keep breaking promises and ignoring his needs he is going to stop turning to you for help. Make sure that your partner knows that he matters to you as he may feel like he no longer does. Make sure that your relationship is not one-sided and you both take care of each other’s needs, you look after each other and you work together.
4. Do Something New Together
If the two of you have been experiencing issues it may be helpful to try doing something new together as a couple. When was the last time you did something fun together or went on a romantic date? When was the last time you tried something new or took up a new hobby together? When was the last time you planned a fun holiday?
If you used to feel like he was the only one that you wanted to spend your life with and you no longer feel the same way, you may need to revive that spark that you once had. If your relationship is full of anger and arguments it may help to do something fun together for once. Try taking a class together, play a game, or go on a date together.
This may help you to get back to where you used to be and remember why you fell in love with each other. If you are asking yourself, “why does my husband hate me?” consider whether it is because you no longer have any fun together and your relationship just involves the two of you arguing with each other.
5. Work On Your Own Personal Issues
If you are spending all of your time wondering “why does my husband hate me?” you may have lost all sense of yourself on the way. No one is going to be able to love you if you cannot love yourself. If you are trying to resolve your marital issues and get your relationship back to the way it used to be, you may have forgotten to look after yourself in the process.
Make sure that you don’t focus so much on someone else’s behavior that you forget about yourself. It is important that you love yourself before you can think about your husband s behavior. This is one of the most important things to remember if your relationship is failing, focus on you first before you focus on the two of you.
Consider taking yourself on a spa retreat, going to the gym, or going on a solo holiday. If you are in a happier place, your husband is more likely to notice and become happier in turn. Show him that you are still the person that you fell in love with and that you can still be a happy and positive person. If you are happier, your relationship will probably be happier too.
If you think that your husband may hate you there are certain signs to look out for if you want to know for sure how he feels about you. If he no longer loves you and even hates you, he will likely ignore you when you are talking, he won’t make an effort to spend time with you anymore and he will no longer communicate with you like he used to do.
If you have found out that your husband does in fact hate you, the next thing that you need to do is to find out what has caused these feelings that he is experiencing toward you. Consider whether you said something to upset or anger him, whether you have been ignoring him lately or whether you have been breaking the promises that you made to him.
Your husband may hate you if you no longer have fun in your relationship. If all you ever do is argue, then his feelings for you may have turned into hate. Consider what your relationship has been like recently and how everything has changed between you. Perhaps you have been ignoring your husband when he has been talking to you or you have insulted him.
Your marriage is likely over if you have tried everything you could to find solutions to your issues and nothing has worked. If you have had numerous honest conversations with your husband, you have tried to make things work but none of your solutions helped, and you have even been to a marriage counselor but nothing changed, it is likely the end of your marriage.
Husbands may ignore their wives if they are angry or upset. If you have done something to make him annoyed with you then it is important to give him some time to figure out his thoughts. However, if you haven’t done anything to warrant this treatment, then it may be time to consider whether this marriage is actually making you happy.
On That Note…
If your relationship seems to be falling apart you may be wondering: “why does my husband hate me?” It is important to make sure that you find out the reasons for his feelings as it is going to be much easier to find a solution if you know what you are dealing with. As long as you both care about fixing your marriage there is hope that you can make it work.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.