One thing about having friends is that they always rub off on you. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, good and bad influences will make way to your lifestyle.
The same thing applies to your partner and the people he hangs out with. He will pick up some habits, attitudes, and lifestyles from certain friends.
That’s because a person’s behavior is the sum of the friends they hang out with, especially when they live to please those friends. In a situation like this, it’s easier to detach your boyfriend if it’s new friends. But, if they’re his old friends, it may be a bit harder to prevent your boyfriend from spending time with them.
For this reason, it would be nice to be careful, sensitive, and creative when taking action. You should have it in mind that your partner may not be conscious that he’s accumulating certain behaviors, especially the negative ones. These negative behaviors are part of the things that affect relationships.
But, everything has a solution. Has your guy been spending too much with his friends? Do you think they’re influencing him the wrong way? If yes, keep reading to learn 9 things to do when your boyfriend’s friends are a bad influence on him.
- 1 9 Things To Do When Your Guy’s Friends Are A Bad Influence
- 1.1 1. Do the ‘copying’ technique
- 1.2 2. Talk to his family about it
- 1.3 3. Introduce your boyfriend to new people
- 1.4 4. Be kind to your man’s friends
- 1.5 5. Set boundaries and create rules
- 1.6 6. Create new activities to occupy him
- 1.7 7. Ask him to tell you about his friends
- 1.8 8. Talk to him about it
- 1.9 9. Give him space
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Summary
9 Things To Do When Your Guy’s Friends Are A Bad Influence
1. Do the ‘copying’ technique
There’s something called the copying technique. When you do something your partner is comfortable with, you try to do the things he’s not okay with. For instance, if he doesn’t like hearing you use a particular tone or word, do it more often to get his attention.
The aim is not to irritate him, but to get his attention. So, you could do this for as long as possible, until he gets to notice it. Most guys need you to act before you can have their attention. When he’s surprised by your actions, he would be pushed to find out.
That way, you can let him know how uncomfortable you are with the friends he hangs out with. With that atmosphere, he’s most likely calm and settled to listen to you and correct his ways. This is one of the things you can do if your partner’s friends are a negative influence.
2. Talk to his family about it
For most guys, their family is first. If this same situation applies to your partner, you may want to choose a day to spend time with his mum, sister, brother, or any of them that he’s close to. He may not necessarily be close to his family members.
It could be his real friends, the ones he regards more and sees as family. Alternatively, you could make a few calls to the people he respects and listens to. The good thing about this is that you get to be on talking terms with his close circle and be seen as a good girlfriend.
This could sound quite technical and hard to do, but it’s nothing to worry about. It’s something you need to do to set things in the right direction. If your boyfriend hangs out with a bad set of friends, talk to his family.
3. Introduce your boyfriend to new people
When anything bothers you, the first thing you should consider doing is to redirect your attention to something more positive. For instance, if you feel someone is hurting you, try to hang out and spend time with other people who love you.
This is the same principle you should apply if your partner’s friends are not of good influence to him. Try to introduce your partner to new people, preferably the ones that can improve his career in no time. But, that’s if you have the ability to do that.
Fix appointments for him to hang out with them, and make sure you also get involved in the process, so you make him stay put. It may not even be his career, it could be anything that brings him hope or happiness. This will also help to build your relationship in the long term.
4. Be kind to your man’s friends
One way to catch a thief is by thinking like one. If your main concern is that your partner is negatively influenced by his friends, you should be nice to them. For instance, if your partner says he’s going to hang out with boys, ask to join him if it doesn’t clash with your girls’ time out.
Treat them with respect. Strike different conversations on different topics with them. Offer to pay for their drinks. Or, if the boys come to spend time in his house and you’re there, be receptive. Let your partner be relaxed seeing that you’re okay with his friends.
It will boost his trust and love for you. When you have his soft spot, you can strategically send each friend off. This sounds like a hard move to make, but it’s no big deal, and it has helped to save many relationships. This is what many women don’t know.
5. Set boundaries and create rules
Boundaries and rules help to define a relationship, especially when they’re set to ward off unwanted behaviors, people, and situations. If you’re uncomfortable with your partner’s friends, you could set boundaries, but not harsh ones that would scare him away.
You could tell him not to keep any friend that doesn’t contribute to his growth, physically, mentally, spiritually, or financially. You could also tell him that no hang-out time should clash with your time together as a couple because you don’t want to miss him so much. It will boost his self-esteem.
This is the first move you should make before starting a relationship with your partner. Doing it when you’ve already started dating is not bad, but depending on how bad the situation is, it could make things worse between you both.
6. Create new activities to occupy him
If you’re uncomfortable with your partner getting badly influenced by certain things, you could try to introduce new activities. He may be hanging out with his friends because you don’t spend time together as he would want to. You may want to reflect on your past to correct this.
Shower him with so much love and attention. Let him wonder what you may be up to. Study his personality, know his love language, and use them to take his attention off his friends. The truth is, the more time you spend with him, the less time he’ll have with his friends.
Get movie tickets and take him out to the cinema, surprise him on a date, play video games, make his favorite meal, or pay for him to attend classes in something interesting to him. This is one way to take your partner’s attention off his friends.
7. Ask him to tell you about his friends
Some friends have history, whether it’s old or new. A nice thing you can try is to engage your partner in a conversation about his friends. You should know if they’ve been friends for a long time or if the friendship just started because it's important information for you to know.
Ask him questions because it’s not nice to try sending off his friends without knowing their history. Try to know how well they’re all related and what his friends did or do to engage him. That way, you’ll know how to approach the situation.
If you make a move without asking certain questions, you may end up ruining your relationship. Situations that involve friends, whether good or bad, are sometimes delicate. This means you should plan your steps well before taking them. This is one way to manage your partner’s bad friends.
8. Talk to him about it
Your partner may have female, male, or a combination of the two as friends. Apart from him getting badly influenced, you may also be worried about him having feelings or going intimate with his female friends. Have a conversation with your partner about it.
Tell him your fears. He could say you’re jealous, which is not a bad thing. You could set a date for that, tell him while you’re joking about things, or say it casually. He may think you’re not serious about it until you keep saying it to him.
Before you get pushed to do anything, speak with him about his friends. The aim is to communicate your feelings to him, in case things go bad in the future. Do your best before giving up. This is one way to manage your partner hanging out with bad friends and you should try it.
9. Give him space
Have you ever thought of just fading away and letting him miss you or get jealous? When your partner’s friend’s negative influence is enough to take his attention away from you, you should give him some time. Let him come after you, not the other way.
Hang out with your friends, too. Do the things that please you, even though they displease him. If you can, seize to exist in his world. When you fade away from people’s lives, they tend to come looking for you. They wouldn’t mind traveling extra miles to find you.
If your partner truly loves you, when you give him space to be with his friends, he’ll look for you. If he doesn’t, you may one to rethink your relationship. This is one of the ways to handle your partner’s bad friends. You should have some peace of mind. Your mental health is important, too.
Before you act on anything, you should be sensitive and empathetic with your boyfriend. But, at the same time, don’t ignore the mistrust you have for his friends. Look out for a major red flag by observing their lifestyle, behavior, and habits. Try to mingle less with them. That way, you reduce your boyfriend’s physical contact with them.
If you don’t feel comfortable with your boyfriend’s close friend, let him know. Try to talk to him and give him your reasons. That’s because, if you go the passive-aggressive way, or you decide to act based on instincts without letting your partner know, you may ruin your relationship. This mostly happens when the close friend is female.
The first thing you should do is to tell your boyfriend. Any guy who has respect for you would make you his priority after himself. If your boyfriend feels it’s normal or refuses to do anything about it, you can subtly but firmly tell his friends you don’t appreciate their tone, and use of words with you.
Yes, a friendship can ruin your relationship, but only if you let it. If you or your partner let your friends into your relationship matters, you risk losing trust in your partner. Most times, those friends don’t intentionally do bad to you. They want the best for you, which is why they may advise you to do something they feel is good for you, but not your relationship.
The best way to fix trust issues is by communicating. Trust comes with risks and you need to learn how to take those risks. Identify the problem and try your best to face the fears that come with them. Make a conscious effort to trust again and give yourself some time and space to do so.
If your partner’s friends are a bad influence on him and you’re worried or don’t know what to do, feel free to refer to the 9 things I’ve mentioned to guide you. Also, listen to your instincts and observe his body language to know when to act and when not to. Did you learn from this article? If yes, please drop a comment and share it with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.