We’ve all been there from time to time. You worry and think, “My BF is unhappy in our relationship, but why?” Maybe you think he’s unhappy when really he is happy with you. Sometimes, it can be hard to tell what’s going on in a boyfriend’s head.
I’ve been there with my ex. He showed all the signs that he was feeling unhappy in our relationship, but I wasn’t really sure what to think. Finally, he told me he was no longer happy in our relationship. I didn’t know what to do, so I just ended the relationship.
Looking back, I should have tried to stick it out and determine what exactly he was unhappy about before just ending things; I just took the fact that he was unhappy as a sign that he didn’t want to be with me anymore, so I wanted to save us both time and energy by breaking up.
Luckily, this article will spell out the signs to look for with your man to see if he is unhappy with your relationship or just going through a funk about something else in his life. We’ll also chat about the things you can do if your man is unhappy!
- 1 Signs Your Man Is Unhappy In Your Partnership
- 1.1 1. He stops calling you
- 1.2 2. He tells you that he is unhappy
- 1.3 3. He tends to spend more time with his friends than he does with you
- 1.4 4. He quit taking you out on date night
- 1.5 5. He sends you one-word text messages
- 1.6 6. Your sex life is nearly non-existent
- 1.7 7. He seems happier when you are not together
- 1.8 8. He stops buying you gifts
- 1.9 9. Physical affection almost never happens anymore
- 1.10 10. You catch him lying about what he does with other relationships
- 1.11 11. He sneaks around behind your back
- 1.12 12. You suspect that he is cheating
- 1.13 13. You feel like you are not in a healthy relationship anymore
- 1.14 14. He doesn’t talk sweet to you anymore
- 1.15 15. He doesn’t appreciate the little things you do for him
- 1.16 16. He asks you for space
- 1.17 17. He enjoys it when you are busy with other plans
- 1.18 18. He asks for time to sort out his feelings
- 1.19 19. He doesn’t like to spend time on date nights anymore
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Summary
Signs Your Man Is Unhappy In Your Partnership
1. He stops calling you
If you are the one who is initiating most of the phone conversations, that isn’t a great sign. While it’s true that he might have gotten busy with school or work, more than likely, he is unhappy with your relationship. Why else would he put conversations on hold like this? When relationships go bad, often men will avoid talking about things.
Men often like to avoid subjects rather than talk about them. If you have the feeling that you are in an unhappy relationship because your man has stopped calling you, you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with him about this feeling. Find out where he stands. Does he want to continue in the relationship, or is he ready to end things?
Sitting in limbo, wondering what is going on in your relationship, isn’t healthy. You will just worry non-stop and wonder what he’s thinking. That worry will turn to anger and frustration, which may turn into stress. Stress can be very unhealthy for a person, causing all sorts of nasty side effects. Deal with the problem now rather than later!
2. He tells you that he is unhappy
This one may sound pretty obvious if you are in an unhappy relationship, but many men don’t want to admit what they are feeling. If he says that he is no longer feeling happy about your relationship, you should find out why this is the case. Does he want your sex life to improve, or does he feel like he’s not getting enough attention?
Whatever the reason may be, find out what the source of his unhappiness is. Maybe it’s something that the two of you can fix and look back on and laugh at. One day, when marriage is on the table, you may think how funny it was that he didn’t feel happy because of one small thing in your relationship. Talk it over with him today!
3. He tends to spend more time with his friends than he does with you
When a guy is unhappy with his gal, he often will avoid her and spend more time with his buds. I mean, if he doesn’t feel happy about the way things are going, why would he want to spend his free time with you? It makes sense that he would avoid you during this time, but you should find out why he’s upset. What has changed in your relationship?
Once you determine what the cause of the problem is in your relationship, you can focus on fixing it or moving on to someone who appreciates your good qualities!
4. He quit taking you out on date night
Do you still hang out with one another? Has he suddenly become too busy for you? If you think that the two of you have turned into a bad place, you need to talk things out. Find out why you are no longer going out like you used to. Is he seeing someone else? Is he just too busy with work? Try to figure out what excuse is okay with you!
5. He sends you one-word text messages
While it’s true that he may be busy, it can also be a sign that he’s unhappy if he’s giving you one-word text messages. He may just be trying to avoid talking to you about anything. If you find his behavior to be strange and unusual, you should communicate your concerns with him to find out what is behind this behavior.
6. Your sex life is nearly non-existent
If things in the bedroom have grown stale, you might want to figure out why. Why is he no longer initiating sex? What is your sex life like now as compared to how it used to be? You could try putting on some skimpy clothes and dancing for him in private to get his attention. Think about what matters the most to him when it comes to these things.
Once you figure out what he likes, you can crank up the volume on your sexual behavior! I recommend talking things out with him, as mentioned before. There’s no real reason to play a guessing game and try to figure out why things have cooled off when your feelings have not changed at all. Ask him what’s going on with him!
7. He seems happier when you are not together
Do you catch him smiling and laughing when you are not together? This isn’t a great sign, especially if he acts annoyed when the two of you are together. For example, he might pick up the phone when you call with a smile on his face – something you can usually tell by his voice! Then, when you talk, he just seems annoyed or mad.
8. He stops buying you gifts
Gift-giving is one of the 5 love languages. If you are used to getting flowers on those special nights you tend to go out with your man, you may wonder why he’s stopped doing this. Has he just gotten used to your relationship? Does he have someone else in his life now – someone to who he DOES give flowers? Ask him and watch his response!
9. Physical affection almost never happens anymore
Have the hugs and kisses disappeared? Where is all that physical affection he used to show you when you were first dating? Is he just more comfortable with you now? If that’s the case, you should let him know that those things are still important to you, and you wish he would step up his game a little more with you in your relationship!
10. You catch him lying about what he does with other relationships
If you find that you can no longer trust your man, you may be on to something. Often, our worst suspicions are true, unfortunately. If you think he has other relationships that are important to him – more important than you, you might be in an unhappy relationship that needs to end. You deserve to be with someone who adores you!
11. He sneaks around behind your back
First of all, if he is sneaking around behind your back, it doesn’t mean that he is cheating. He might be playing video games or talking to one of his buds about you. Second, this kind of behavior is fishy and shady; it’s not normal or healthy in any way. Third, you need to determine WHY he feels the need to lie about what’s happening.
For one reason or another, he feels the need to exclude you from this part of his life. But the ultimate question is WHY? Why does he think you can’t be trusted with the aspect of his life? If he doesn’t trust you, there are some serious problems in your relationship. You should seek the counsel of a trusted therapist or third party!
12. You suspect that he is cheating
There are many signs that a guy is cheating. If you catch him red-handed, you should probably end the relationship. He clearly didn’t care enough to remain faithful to you, so why should you care about keeping your relationship going? You deserve to be with a person who values you as a person – someone who will appreciate all of you!
13. You feel like you are not in a healthy relationship anymore
Sometimes, you need to trust your gut feeling. Your intuition could be totally right about this guy. This isn’t a good thing, either. You need to discuss your concerns with him and be frank. Explain what you think is going on, or just tell him that you feel like things aren’t going as well as they could be, and see what he has to say about that.
14. He doesn’t talk sweet to you anymore
If he has a tone of annoyance or frustration when speaking to you, that’s not great. You deserve to be with a guy who values you and treats you with respect. Make sure he is worth it if he talks down to you. Better still, you should make sure you get to the bottom of why he’s talking like that to you. Don’t put up with much of that kind of treatment.
15. He doesn’t appreciate the little things you do for him
So, you’ve made some huge efforts in your relationship, and he barely notices them. That’s a horrible sign that he may not be very invested in your relationship. It’s true; he could just want to stay focused on his schoolwork or career. He may be totally preoccupied with something important, but still!
Make him a candlelit romantic dinner and see what happens. If he doesn’t notice the effort you put forth into making him happy, he may just be miserable in your relationship. It might be time for the two of you to move on from one another. You should be with someone who appreciates the efforts you make to improve his level of happiness!
16. He asks you for space
Often, asking for space in a relationship is healthy. We all need time to ourselves every now and then. Maybe he just needs some time to catch up on work or to sort out his feelings. Just make sure there isn’t an underlying cause for this space that he is asking for; if there is something else going on, you should find out what it is.
17. He enjoys it when you are busy with other plans
Does he actually look forward to the days when you are busy? As mentioned, we all need our “alone time” from time to time, but just WANTING to be apart is not really all that normal. You should want to be around your partner and enjoy the times when you are together. Think about what is best for your relationship at this point.
18. He asks for time to sort out his feelings
This isn’t the best sign in a relationship. If he lets you know that he’s taking time to sort out his feelings, he may be contemplating the end of your relationship. However, he could just need some time to think about the seriousness of your relationship. Maybe he is considering asking you for your hand in marriage! Wouldn’t that bring happiness?
Give him the time he needs if you think he is worth it. If you suspect that he just wants to break up with you, you could end things first and save your pride. If you decide to go this route, you should make sure of his intentions before ending things. Like, if you’ve had a lot of problems already in your relationship, what are you holding on to?
19. He doesn’t like to spend time on date nights anymore
If he’s more occupied by his phone than he is with taking you out on dates, it may be time to say goodbye to this guy. He clearly isn’t interested in spending quality time with you. He cares more about his phone than you! I’ve been in many relationships like this – where the guy was addicted to his phone for one reason or another!
You need a man who will place you on a pedestal. He should put your interests first in the relationship. You shouldn’t feel like you are scoring second place to his video games or Facebook on his phone. This can be quite crushing! Make sure you are being treated with kindness, patience, and respect! You deserve it!
Find out what’s going on in his personal life; the fact that your partner is unhappy may have nothing to do with your relationship. Maybe he is upset about something that has to do with school or work; maybe it has nothing to do with you! Communicate these things!
It’s perfectly normal to have ups and downs in relationships, so even if you see the signs that your partner is unhappy, that doesn’t mean it’s over. Think about the other relationships in your life and determine if there is an issue with you or if you are just in a bad relationship.
If things have turned sour in your relationship, give your partner a little space to clear his head. You might also make sure you feel heard when you communicate your problems in your relationship. Avoid picking fights and try doing more fun things!
Happiness and love usually go hand-in-hand, but that is not always the case. You might see that your current relationship is going through a rough patch, but your man is overall full of happiness. Likewise, you could be happy but have an unhappy relationship. It just depends on the relationship.
A toxic relationship is one where you are constantly feeling unhappy because your relationship is dysfunctional in some way. If you feel unhappy in your relationship, you should have a serious conversation with your partner and let him know what you are feeling. Communication is key!
Are you in an unhappy relationship? Do you think unhappy relationships can be saved? We’d love to know what you say in a conversation with your man when it comes to being unhappy in a relationship. Please comment below and share this post on social media!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.