Are you in a situation where you feel like, “My boyfriend is too nice?” You may be wondering what you should do about this and if this is normal. Of course, you don’t want to be with someone who is mean, someone who likes to abuse you, or someone who enjoys hurting your feelings, but can a person be too nice? What issues may come of this personality type?
Women who are in relationships with men who are too nice often see this as a problem over time. Guys that are too nice in relationships can often be seen as pushovers, too agreeable, and no fun, but what’s the real harm? Can you be in a relationship with someone that is too nice? Is this a bad habit? What if this person is your husband?
One question you may have is how did he get to be this way? Often, the reason stems from how his parents raised him. Maybe his parents instilled certain values in him, making him the kind person he is today. Today, we will look at the reasons why guys in relationships could have issues and what to do about it.
- 1 Potential Problems With A Boyfriend Who Is Too Nice
- 1.1 1. He may get taken advantage of
- 1.2 2. You may feel he is too agreeable
- 1.3 3. He may seem boring over time
- 1.4 4. You may get jealous of the attention he gives to others
- 1.5 5. You may get tired of his positive attitude
- 1.6 6. You may feel like he doesn’t value you
- 1.7 7. He may have trouble making decisions
- 1.8 8. You may miss the drama in the relationship
- 1.9 9. You may get annoyed by his niceness over time
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
Potential Problems With A Boyfriend Who Is Too Nice
1. He may get taken advantage of
When a woman is with a man who seems too nice, she may decide that the relationship is unbalanced because people take advantage of men like this. Often, if you stop to help a stranger, you find that they don’t even care enough to say, “thank you!” This can be very irritating because you are just trying to be a sweet person!
Why is there no gratitude? What if your guy always helps others but sees no rewards? You may see that he doesn’t care about this, but it may bug you half to death! Why does he continue to be nice to strangers when they don’t even appreciate his actions? You may want to ask him these questions to find out why his behavior is like that.
2. You may feel he is too agreeable
So, you may feel with a nice man that there are no stimulating conversations or debates about anything! Why doesn’t he take a side against you every now and then?
It’s normal to feel this way; just make sure your feelings are true. In other words, is this really a problem, or can you get used to not having arguments in order to be with someone so sweet? Does he put your happiness first too much? Ask yourself these questions to decide if you want to stay in the relationship.
3. He may seem boring over time
Many girls love the thrill and excitement of bad boys. Over time, you may think that his easy-going attitude is just too much to handle. You may miss the excitement you felt when you were in other relationships. If you think he is too boring, you should end things and work on finding someone who is more stimulating.
4. You may get jealous of the attention he gives to others
Does your partner always have to do what is right? Does he give to the homeless or stop to help someone on the side of the road? This is sweet and all, but doesn’t this mean that he is a little unreliable? He may be late for your dinner plans because he put someone else in front of you, as he stopped to help them. Is this okay with you?
Determine if you can be with someone like this, someone who puts the needs of others first. If you think this is unacceptable, you should probably end the relationship to pursue someone that is a little more up your alley.
5. You may get tired of his positive attitude
We all have bad days; we want to just go home to our men and gripe and complain about what happened. If you are with someone who is overly nice, you may get sick of his positivity, as you are looking for someone to agree with your complaints about other people! Decide if you can be with someone like this in the long run!
6. You may feel like he doesn’t value you
As mentioned, nice men often put the well-being of others first, which means you will come second. He knows he is doing what is right, so he doesn’t see what’s bad about his actions. You might want to talk to him about your point of view on this subject.
7. He may have trouble making decisions
This goes without saying, really. You know he won’t take a stance on a subject, and you find that to be annoying. According to Psychology Today, you should tell him how much you enjoy his company, but you feel as though the relationship would improve if he’d give more input and offer his opinion on different subjects.
Encourage him when he does offer input to show how much you love it. Don’t walk all over him when he tries to weigh in. Have an agreeable attitude. Then, just be patient with him. Changes may not happen overnight, but they should happen eventually if you’ve brought up the issue. If not, evaluate your stance on things.
8. You may miss the drama in the relationship
Some people crave drama! They think it’s fun, thrilling, and necessary! I’ve been with people who were full of excitement, and it’s so much fun! You can’t wait until the next moment when you get to be with them again! I totally get it, but with this attitude, you also get a lot of fights.
I don’t enjoy the ups and downs! If you do, great! If you don’t, you really should reevaluate things to determine if you are with the right person or not. What does your gut tell you? Do you need the excitement of a bad boy?
9. You may get annoyed by his niceness over time
So, you have dinner plans or a fancy romantic date planned for the two of you. Why is he late? It’s because he stopped on the side of the road to help someone fix a flat tire. This may seem super sweet and fun, but if your guy consistently does this, you may eventually find it annoying. Why can’t he just let them call AAA?
He could call a highway patrolman to help this person out so that you could come first every now and then. Which do you value more – his kindness to strangers or his inability to put you first? Just because it sounds like a selfish choice if you pick yourself doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Go with your gut, because more than likely, he won’t change.
Being with a nice guy can be problematic because he always wants to do the right thing. As an adult, you may feel guilty about being with someone like this because he seems better than you at times. This is normal, and men can be too nice in relationships.
In my opinion, a nice guy is one who stops to help those in need. He may look for volunteer opportunities and chances for him to shine with his niceness. This is alright, provided you don’t have issues with his attitude and demeanor. It’s really up to you!
It can be problematic in a relationship because the guy is always trying to please others. Couples who have one partner who is nice all the time can appear unbalanced at times. How do you feel about your boyfriend’s behavior? That’s what you need to figure out!
Since being too nice can be problematic, nice guys can have trouble maintaining relationships. It just doesn’t feel good to be with someone who puts the well-being of strangers first all the time. The real question is, are you the type of girl who has an issue with this?
A nice guy may not be assertive enough to win over women. He may be the kind of guy who always does the best thing for others. This can get old over time, especially if he puts the care of others before you. After all, you want attention, too, right?
What is your opinion of nice guys? In what ways have you dealt with guys who seem too nice? Do you think this is a problem? Are you in a relationship with a nice guy? We’d love to hear from you! Please comment below, and share this post!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.