We’ve all been in relationships we thought were going well and getting serious, but the signs started pointing in the opposite direction.
Are you thinking, “My boyfriend hides me from his family?” If so, this article is perfect for you. Not meeting the folks is a definite red flag, especially if you’ve been dating for quite some time now.
There are a lot of questions to consider, though. Have other girls been introduced to his parents? Is he really all that close to them? Do you think that maybe there is some mysterious reason that you haven’t met them yet?
If you are thinking these questions over, consider the following possible reasons you have not met his family that will be discussed in this article.
- 1 Possible Reasons That You Have Not Met The Family
- 1.1 1. He Has Another Girlfriend
- 1.2 2. He Doesn’t Want You To Think It’s That Serious
- 1.3 3. He Is Married
- 1.4 4. He Is Unsure Of Your Feelings For Him
- 1.5 5. He Doesn’t Want His Parents To Know He’s Moved On From His Last Relationship
- 1.6 6. He Doesn’t Want His Folks To Be A Part Of His Love Life
- 1.7 7. He Doesn’t Want Things To Change Between The Two Of You
- 1.8 8. He’s Embarrassed By How They Act Around Girls
- 1.9 9. He’s Embarrassed By How They Treat Him
- 1.10 10. He Wants To End The Relationship
- 1.11 11. He Doesn’t Think It’s Fair Since He Has Not Met Your Family
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Things Up…
Possible Reasons That You Have Not Met The Family
1. He Has Another Girlfriend
While this is probably not the reason, it is possible, so you should look for the signs that he is seeing someone else. Do his excuses add up? Does he do mysterious things that don’t make a lot of sense? Is he very private about his phone and what he does on it? Make certain that you are the only one he is dating and that he isn’t playing you.
2. He Doesn’t Want You To Think It’s That Serious
There’s a chance your boyfriend just doesn’t feel like the relationship is to that point yet. You may think he’s thinking of marriage if he introduces you to his parents. There’s nothing wrong with taking your relationship slowly; just make sure you are on the same page with how serious things are going. Do you have different expectations?
Your boyfriend may just think the two of you aren’t ready for this big step yet. The keyword is “yet” here. If you think that this is the reason he is hiding you, just give him time to get to that point in your relationship.
3. He Is Married
This is a possibility, but it’s a scary one! If he has a secret family or is married and separated and you did not know, that’s a definite red flag. Do you think you are perhaps in love with a married man?
One question to ask is, what signs does he display that he is married or has a serious significant other. Psychology Today explains that you should look for fear of commitment, someone who cannot deal with conflict well, a person not interested in anything more than sex, and someone who is narcissistic (very selfish).
4. He Is Unsure Of Your Feelings For Him
There’s a chance that your man doesn’t know how you feel about him! He may be thinking that your relationship is too off and on for a big step, like meeting the folks. If this sounds like your situation, you may want to let him know how you feel about him. This could bring you closer, too. You may realize you were both thinking the same thing.
5. He Doesn’t Want His Parents To Know He’s Moved On From His Last Relationship
If you haven’t met the parents, there’s a possibility that they are still grieving over the last girlfriend he had. Maybe he hasn’t told them he broke up with her because he doesn’t want the headache of their reaction. They may have been attached to her, and he thinks they aren’t ready to move on.
You may want to talk to him about his last girlfriend to see if this might be the case of why you haven’t met his family.
6. He Doesn’t Want His Folks To Be A Part Of His Love Life
There’s a very good chance that he’s just a very private person. Has he introduced girls to ANY of his friends and family? He may just not have anyone that close in life that he wants to share this with. Maybe he’s never brought a girl home. I’ve been in relationships where that is the case.
If enough time has passed, you may want to tell him you are more than ready to meet his friends and family, and you feel like he is hiding you from them. Tell him that even though no one has had the honor of meeting the folks and friends, you think it’s important that you do.
7. He Doesn’t Want Things To Change Between The Two Of You
Your man may think if you meet his friends and family, things will change between you two. He may think it’s more important for you to spend time alone with each other. Really, you won’t know if this is true unless you ask him. Be honest about your feelings on the subject and explain that you think it’s time you people the people in his life.
8. He’s Embarrassed By How They Act Around Girls
He may be wanting to impress his parents with the girls he brings home and he feels a little embarrassed about your relationship. He may be waiting until you are more serious before taking this step. Another good possibility is he doesn’t like the way they treat his friends and girlfriends, so he steers clear of introducing people to his folks.
9. He’s Embarrassed By How They Treat Him
Another smart possibility is that he feels as if his folks always treat him like he’s a baby, and he doesn’t want you to witness that! If this is the case, you may just have to give him time to warm up to the idea and let him know you don’t care; tell him you are just excited to meet them regardless of how they treat him in front of you.
10. He Wants To End The Relationship
Unfortunately, there is the possibility that he just doesn’t want to lead you on, making you think things are going in a more serious direction when really he wants out of the relationship. You should get to the bottom of this issue if you think he may be wanting to break up with you. You don’t want to be caught off guard here!
11. He Doesn’t Think It’s Fair Since He Has Not Met Your Family
While this is usually not a valid excuse, it’s possible. Where does his family live? It may just not be practical for him to try to arrange a meeting since they live so far away. Of course, if you believe he wants to meet your family and you are serious about him, it might be wise to set up a meeting so that he knows you are in this for real.
If you haven’t met his family, there is a good chance that he’s not as serious about you as you thought. Sometimes we wonder why we haven’t met friends and family when really it’s just a matter of the fact that he isn’t ready to do that yet.
There are many possible reasons you have not met any family members. He may think that you aren’t serious enough about him and your relationship. Also, he could just be embarrassed by how they act around girls, and he doesn’t want anyone to meet them. How close are they?
It depends on how close you are to your parents. If you still live with mom and dad, it’s probably not the best idea to hide things from them because it probably affects your daily life. In that case, you couldn’t bring the person back to your home, ever.
Pocketing is basically when your boyfriend won’t acknowledge your relationship with family, friends, or other important people in his life. He doesn’t tell anyone on social media that the two of you are dating either. It’s kind of like a slap in the face, especially if you’ve been together forever!
Play hard to get! Give him the cold treatment by avoiding his calls for a while and letting him wonder what you are up to without directly telling him. Another option is just being open and honest and telling him he’s messing things up big time.
To Sum Things Up…
If you are with a guy who is hiding your relationship from others, there may be a serious issue going on. It’s a smart idea to talk to him about your concern here. How do you feel about “pocketing?” I’d love to hear from you. Don’t forget to comment below!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.