“I have known this guy for 4 years, he has been my boyfriend for 2 years and in all that time, he has never acted this way to me. Something is wrong, something has changed, I just don’t know what has changed or why my man has changed towards me”
If you can relate strongly to that, I know how confused you are.
I know you must have asked yourself so many questions as to why he changed abruptly towards you. No doubt, you remember how he was when you met him initially. You remember how he loved to stare at you for a long time, notice little details about you, and make time out of no time just to see you.
Now he is just a shadow of himself. He does not call if you don’t call. Or he calls but acts as though he is doing it routinely or out of pity. What’s more, he is no longer eager to spend time together and this probably feels like hell. There is trouble in paradise and you can’t pinpoint the issue.
One thing is for sure, your boyfriend has changed, and this was not the man you got into the relationship with. The truth is you still love him and you want your happiness back. If not, you wouldn’t be so engrossed with this article. On that note, here are 11 possible reasons why your boyfriend changed towards you.
- 1 11 Reasons Why My Boyfriend Suddenly Changed
- 2 FAQs
- 3 The Bottomline
11 Reasons Why My Boyfriend Suddenly Changed
1. He is cheating
For people that are supposed to be the stronger vessels, men are really lousy cheats. They haven’t mastered the art of multitasking. It is why when there is another woman, they focus all of the attention on her and forget to act right. Changes happen for a reason, and this one might be because your guy is cheating.
Keep in mind that this is the worst-case scenario, and although it is, it’s possible that this is the issue in the relationship. And if you have a gut feeling or you feel strongly about this, there is an 80% chance that it might be the root of all the problems in the relationship.
2. It’s you
I am not one to mince words, so you should expect that I will call you out on your bullshit. You might be the reason why he has changed towards you. And although he is to blame for not communicating effectively and letting you know what you did, that is not the issue. The problem is you might be the toxic one.
It could be that he no longer sees the qualities that attracted him to you initially. There is a possibility that you attracted him with your confidence and now all you do is side-track your achievements and undermine your capabilities. It could be that you used to be nice and smile a lot in the past and you are no longer the same.
3. The stress factor
Has his work hours changed? Does he spend more time on work? Is his family stressing him? Your boyfriend might have changed towards you not because he is no longer in love with you, but because he is stressed. It could be physical stress, emotional stress, or even mental stress.
The solution to the problem might just be to be his peace. You could organize a weekend getaway, a spa date, or a staycation. Anything you can think of to help him relieve some of his stress. This might just be the remedy to all of the problems in the relationship.
4. It’s a case of the ex
It could just be that the reason why there is a change in attitude towards you is that there is a blast from the past lurking in the dark. It could be that there is an ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, ex-fiancée, and ex-somebody from a previous relationship in the background. It is probably why he is distracted and showing you less affection.
What you are not going to do is throw your hands or beg that he chooses you. This is because if every distraction from the past can throw him off balance and cause a change towards you, then throw the entire guy away. We don’t want that because you deserve better. That’s what we do in this household.
5. Sis, this is the real him
What if the reason for the change in your relationship is because this guy was pretending to you the whole time? What if he was being and doing all the right things initially to get you? Now that he has you, he is showing his true colors because there is no point impressing you any longer.
If this is most likely the case then you have to get rid of that chameleon and find yourself a good guy; someone that is real and true to himself. Someone that is genuine and ticks all the boxes. That’s what you deserve in a relationship.
6. Love is blind
Are you sure your boyfriend really changed or did you just ignore all the signs because it was new, exciting, and beautiful in the beginning? Love is so many things, and sadly, being blind is one of them. There is a likelihood that he has always been like this and you just did not notice it.
It could also be that he treated other people this way but you ignored it because he was not like that with you and it was not an issue. Well, if a guy treats others in a way you are not comfortable with, that’s a bad sign because he will definitely treat you the same way if you stick around long enough.
7. He is taking you for granted
He has the catch and he no longer has to impress you. In other words, he won and he does not have to work as hard any longer because you are now his. This might be another reason why he has changed. There is no love lost, he just does not find it necessary to put so much energy into the relationship.
This happens a lot of times in relationships. Some relationships survive it, others don’t. All you have to do is remind him of how lucky he is to be with you. Make him understand that you are a jewel and a lucky find and you will not wait around for him to recognize your worth.
8. He is no longer interested
Every good thing must come to an end. And honestly, good riddance to bad rubbish. He might change toward you because he no longer wants the relationship which is very okay. But what is not okay is him not talking about it like an adult with emotional intelligence should. This might be why he changed.
Know this and know peace and be smart to excuse yourself from the situation. He no longer sees you both as compatible so he changed towards you and you should respect yourself enough to leave the relationship as it is not a do-or-die affair. So, leave and give another the opportunity to love you effortlessly.
9. He is lazy
This guy might have changed towards you because he is probably very lazy and he does not want to put in the effort necessary to maintain a long healthy relationship. Don’t get me wrong, he loves you but not enough to put in the work to maintain the love.
Lazy guys usually have issues with being consistent. So he probably started off being the dream guy but once he got to his elastic limit, he started acting differently from what you are used to. The true color or intent of a person always shows no matter what.
10. Bad company
Evil company corrupts good manners. So when you notice a change of attitude with the guy you are in a relationship with, you should observe the type of friends they move with. Show me your friends they say and I will tell you who you really are. Just observe their manner; if you look closely, you might find your answer.
We are easily influenced by the people we spend our day-to-day operations with. So, if he never came back late from work in the past and he starts doing that out of the blues, then it just might be that his group of friends have a major influence on him and your relationship.
Money might make the world go round, but don’t forget that it is the root of all evil. So, if a guy does not have enough money, or if he has money issues, this might cause a behavior change. A change large enough to cause a significant difference in the relationship.
It might also cause a change in the relationship if he has a lot of it. Either way, money can change people and your boyfriend is not immune to the power of money. Once he gets a lot of it, there is a very high chance that he will get a woman on his level of income.
One of the possible reasons why your boyfriend changed suddenly is the reality that there is a form of distraction from outside the relationship. It might be an ex, or a current girl getting all of the love you solely deserve.
Money can cause a man to change in a relationship. A lot of it can make him change for worse and drop you for someone on his financial level. Lack of it can change your loving and caring boyfriend to a depressed and frustrated boyfriend.
You know if a guy has changed if he is no longer consistent with his attitude and patterns from the past. If he no longer does some things he used to do, that guy has changed in the relationship for some reason.
Sometimes, it is normal for a relationship to change, people change and it takes two to form a relationship. So, change is bound to happen because people grow together and the dynamics change for the better. A change for the better is normal.
Guys lose interest suddenly for so many reasons, but what comes to mind immediately is the fact that he might be taking you for granted. Men are competitive so the fact that you are readily available to them might make them find you less fascinating.
I hope you enjoyed reading this article. If your boyfriend is showing you little attention and it’s hurting your feelings, remember that sometimes people go through a lot of changes. Their actions are usually more about them than you.
I hope you found a possible reason why he changed in this article. Let me know what you think in the comment section and don’t forget to share this with your loved ones.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.