Are you thinking, “My boyfriend doesn’t trust me, so what can I do?” Do you feel like you are being treated unfairly?
If your boyfriend doesn’t trust you, you may feel like you can’t do anything right in your relationship. It’s tough being part of a couple when there are trust issues. Do you really think your boyfriend doesn’t believe or trust anything you do?
If you have witnessed the signs that your boyfriend doesn’t trust you, you have a real problem on your hands. The reason being that he cannot establish a solid foundation of love and intimacy with you if he doesn’t believe the things you say and do. Something needs to change to get everything back to normal.
Did your boyfriend already have trust issues before you came along? Did he act this way with someone else? You may find the best thing to do is to allow him to have some space to sort out his feelings and find a place in his heart for you.
In this article, we will look at ways you can cope with a man who has trust issues – what you should do to improve your relationship.
- 1 How to Deal When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Trust You
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum It All Up
How to Deal When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Trust You
1. Provide your boyfriend with full disclosure
One way to build trust with your boyfriend is to provide him with all of the details of what you do, where you go, and who you are with. This isn’t an ideal long-term solution, but it will give him peace of mind because you’re sharing everything with him. Over time, he should see this as a sign that you are a trustworthy individual.
Give him no reason whatsoever to doubt your behavior. The more you share, the more space he will give you to live your life fully without his accusations. This is a great way to show that you are not lying about what you do when the two of you aren’t together. You may want to text him when you aren’t with him, so he knows what you are up to.
This will not only help build trust, but it is a sign that you do what you say. Once you build trust, it will be easier for him to loosen the reins and believe what you say. Again, it’s not a great solution for the long term, but it should help smooth things over if there has been a breach of trust in your relationship.
2. Be empathetic
Empathy is developed when you put yourself in the other person’s shoes. The more you do this, the easier it is to do. Why do you think he’s having trouble trusting you? Have you given him a reason to be suspicious? What do you believe is going on inside his head? It’s helpful to ask yourself these questions as you try to show empathy.
You can also show empathy by just talking things out with your guy. Why do you think he believes you can’t be trusted? Ask him! Find out what his side is. Be a good listener; make sure he feels heard by you, and listen for the stuff that he doesn’t say but he means. He may have stuff on his mind that he cannot find the words for.
A truly good listener can detect the hidden messages that aren’t spoken. Find out what he’s thinking by paying close attention when he talks. Check out his expressions, his movements, and the tone of voice he uses to determine the underlying meaning behind his message. Talking closely about this subject may give you a new sense of intimacy!
3. Don’t be overly defensive
There’s nothing worse than a person who gets crazy defensive over innocent questions. Plus, it is very suspicious. I mean, why do you feel the need to be so defensive? Have you cheated on your boyfriend? Are you keeping something from him? Just explain your side of everything in a calm manner, and you won’t have this problem.
4. Be trustworthy
As mentioned, often, the best method for showing you can be trusted is to actually be trustworthy. Just do what you say, or let your boyfriend know why you didn’t do what you said you were going to. Be honest and upfront about your actions and behavior. By doing this, you’ll help him better understand what’s going on without suspicion.
5. Offer reassurance
If you are participating in something that could be misunderstood, be sure to give your boyfriend reassurance that you are not cheating or lying about the action. For example, if you had lunch with a male coworker, explain to your boyfriend that he was a work associate, and you needed to discuss business, and nothing happened.
6. Give your man more attention
Often, men think something is going on because they feel neglected. Maybe your boyfriend thinks that it has been too long since the two of you had sex, so you must be getting it somewhere else. Just focus more on your boyfriend, and give him plenty of attention. Listen to what he has to say, and allow plenty of time for intimacy.
7. Find out why he doesn't trust you
Most of the suggestions listed above are guesses as to why your boyfriend doesn’t trust you. The best answer to this problem is to simply ask him why he doesn’t believe what you have to say or what you’ve done. Find out the reason behind his mistrust so that you can address it properly.
8. Explain your side of things
Once you understand why your boyfriend doesn’t trust you, you can answer his concerns directly. You don’t have to be defensive or combative when he’s given you his reasons, but you should stand up for yourself. Clear up any misunderstandings that have happened, explaining the truth. Hopefully, he will believe what you have to say.
If he doesn’t believe you, you may have a serious issue on your hands. Without trust, it’s really hard to keep a healthy relationship going. If he doesn’t trust you at all, you may find it very hard to be happy with him.
After all, how can you have a good time with someone if they do not believe anything you have to say and always accuse you of things?
9. Talk to someone else
I definitely do not mean to talk to another guy or anything like that unless you have decided to end the relationship and move on. Rather, I mean that the two of you should talk to a trained couples counselor or therapist. A qualified professional may have the tools and techniques to guide you both in the right direction.
Also, he or she can help you determine if your boyfriend has trust issues. According to Good Therapy, there are some obvious signs of someone who has trust issues. First, you may have noticed that he has trouble making and keeping relationships in his life. Second, he may have toxic relationships with those he does let into his heart.
Third, he may just have trouble letting anyone in; maybe he grew up in a home with an absent parent and is protecting himself from getting hurt again. A counselor can help determine the root causes of mistrust. Fourth, you may have seen this already, but does he have problems being intimate with others? Is he somewhat cold about this?
Finally, people like this are very suspicious of others, always thinking they are deceptive in some manner. Maybe he had an ex who cheated on him or saw a friend of his get crushed by someone. Whatever caused this, he thinks that people are just dishonest in nature, and he probably believes that they cannot be trusted at all.
You may have a hard time being in a relationship without trust.
The best thing you can do is to discuss the problem with your partner, explaining how the trust issues are negatively affecting your relationship and how you’d like to change the way things are right now.
Yes, you can be with a boyfriend who doesn’t trust you, but you may have a difficult time being happy in that relationship. More than likely, the two of you will eventually end things because you can’t be content with someone who is always accusing you of things.
It is difficult, but yes, you can survive a relationship that doesn’t have trust in it. Perhaps, the help of a trained therapist will help you determine why your partner has trust issues and how the two of you can begin to be in a healthier relationship.
How do you fix trust issues in a relationship?
You may want to have a conversation with your partner about boundaries, respect, love, mistrust, jealousy, faith, and his behavior around you. If your partner constantly accuses you of cheating, you may want to explain you have no idea why he thinks this and why this is the case.
Trust issues damage a relationship because there’s always a battle over things that may or may not have happened. Your partner will always find a reason to be suspicious of your behavior even if you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s hard to grow love in a relationship that has trust issues.
To Sum It All Up
Are you in a new relationship with trust issues? Have you seen signs that your partner has trouble believing the things you say or do? Have you made mistakes in the past but never got chances to make up for them? Please comment, and share this post with another person!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.