It can be very underwhelming when a romantic partner stops making an effort in a relationship. After all, if someone says they love you, it should show in the way they treat you. Besides, a lot of ladies got into relationships just so they could feel secure and special.
When that feeling of security is tossed out the window, it could very well mean the end of the relationship if you don’t know what to do. Here’s the thing, women feel loved in a relationship when they are treated with love, respect, and adoration. However, it’s still very crucial to look within before concluding what’s happening in your relationship.
We hear people say things like, “I’ll love for the both of us,” and those are dangerous statements. Why? Because before you say, “My boyfriend doesn’t make me feel special,” you have to feel good or happy with yourself first. A man could be putting in a lot of effort, but when you’re not putting in an equal amount to make yourself feel special, you’ll just keep wanting more.
However, it’s still very important to have a partner that makes you feel special every chance he gets. So, when that is absent, don’t get worried or think of calling it quit just yet. Keep reading for some helpful tips that could possibly save your relationship, and make him treat you extra special from here on out.
- 0.1 13 Things To Do When He Doesn’t Make You Feel Special
- 0.1.1 1. Talk to him about it
- 0.1.2 2. Think about the reasons why
- 0.1.3 3. Help him improve his mood
- 0.1.4 4. Figure out his love language
- 0.1.5 5. Figure out your own love language
- 0.1.6 6. Reignite the passion
- 0.1.7 7. Start spending more time with him
- 0.1.8 8. Suggest more dates and personal bonding times
- 0.1.9 9. Make him feel special
- 0.1.10 10. Take a break
- 0.1.11 11. Know that you can’t change him
- 0.1.12 12. Self-improvement
- 0.1.13 13. Know when to let go
- 0.2 FAQs
- 0.3 To Summarize
13 Things To Do When He Doesn’t Make You Feel Special
1. Talk to him about it
Having a conversation with your partner should come first on your list of things to do. Here’s why, in any relationship, there are times when other factors play in. So, if he is no longer saying sweet things to you, opening doors for you, or just making you feel treasured, there’s a reason. Talking to him about it first should clear the air about this.
At this point, you have to be open about how you feel and what you think is missing. Your boyfriend may possibly think he’s still doing okay. So, if you don't voice out, he’ll just keep acting like a basic partner.
2. Think about the reasons why
After you have that important talk with your boyfriend and things don’t seem to change, it’s time to dig deeper. Maybe when you asked him what the problem is, he denied being different and made you feel like you were overreacting. I know that’s not a nice feeling, but that’s the reason you should think deeper.
How has his mood been? Is he acting differently towards other special people in his life? He may be going through something and has no idea how to handle it. In some cases, certain health conditions like low testosterone, auto-immune factors, and stress can affect relationships.
3. Help him improve his mood
If you notice that your partner has let himself go a little bit, that may be one of the reasons affecting his mood and overall health. Men who let stress, unhealthy diets, and lack of inactivity linger too long are bound to show less care and affection. That’s because mental and physical fitness affects our behavior, moods, and well-being.
Maybe it’s time to encourage him to go back to the gym, eat healthier and go for medical checkups more regularly. However, if you are having this talk with him, try not to sound judgemental or condescending.
To cushion the landing even more, I suggest you replace ‘you’ with ‘we’. For example, say ‘ I think we need to hit the gym more often, it will make us healthier. What do you think?” That way, he won’t feel judged or belittled in any way.
4. Figure out his love language
A lot of times, we use our love language to judge how well a relationship is going. However, it’s easy to forget that your boyfriend also has a certain way he shows love. While you may want physical touch and gift-giving, your partner may be more of a word of affirmation and quality time guy.
So, when he doesn’t get you fancy gifts or touch you in the ways you crave, it’s possible to misunderstand that. At this point, before assuming that he’s not treating you in a special way, find out what his love languages are. He may be showing you love the only way he understands how to.
5. Figure out your own love language
When you discover his love languages, the next step would be figuring out yours. Your partner can’t read your mind and vice versa. So the only way to communicate your love languages is when you actually talk things through. However, before then, you have to realize what those love languages are.
Do you enjoy hearing words of affirmation, love physical touches, or maybe you’re a sucker for thoughtful gifts? Read through the definitions and examples and find the love languages that relate to you the most. That way, when you finally sit down to talk, you’ll be able to communicate to him the way you’d prefer to be loved.
6. Reignite the passion
Has your boyfriend always been uncaring? Did you enter into this relationship consciously knowing that he doesn’t put effort into treating you special? If the answer is no, then it’s obvious that something changed along the line. Maybe at the beginning of your relationship, he was extra thoughtful and made you feel like you were on his mind at every moment.
I know you’re wondering how your relationship got so boring and passionless. Rather than focus on the negative, it’s time to think about how to re-introduce love and light. You could decide to share precious memories, go back to where you first met, or do something that will remind him of the good times you both shared.
7. Start spending more time with him
When last did you spend time with your partner? I mean quality time? Every relationship requires time and effort. The more time you spend apart, the more distant the relationship may become. That’s why it’s important to create time for each other. Turn every moment you have with him into an intimate time where you can both connect.
You can choose to pick out some of his favorite songs and play them while in the car when he’s cooking or gets back from work. He’ll know you're putting in some effort and probably try to do so too.
8. Suggest more dates and personal bonding times
When he responds positively to the previous tip, it’s time to take things a bit further. It’s nice when you have those little doses of alone or intimate time. Now it’s time to make even more time to bond. You could plan a fun trip on the weekend, choose a Friday night to party, go on a picnic, or even plan a vacation.
The sole purpose of this is to remind your partner how interesting and wonderful you are. Sometimes these men forget, and it is up to us to keep reminding them.
9. Make him feel special
If you want to be treated in a special way, then start doing the same. This may sound harsh or uncalled for, but sometimes, we accuse others of the same things we are guilty of. So, you may think your partner isn’t making you feel special. Maybe he feels the same way too. So don’t wait around for him to start treating you right, start treating him the way you want to be treated.
10. Take a break
When a partner forgets how to treat his significant other, maybe he has started taking her for granted. If this is the case, you may want to take a step back so he can miss you a little. When you are doing so much for a man, it’s easy for him to take you for granted. He won’t feel the need to treat you extra nice because he is getting everything he needs anyway.
So maybe it’s time to give him a little space. Go out with friends more often, focus on your personal life goals and just spend more time with yourself.
11. Know that you can’t change him
Here’s an important fact every lady has to know; you can’t change a man! You can motivate someone to change, but they have to make that final decision. So if this man has been oblivious of your needs from the beginning, it’s time to realize that he may never change.
If this is the way he thinks a relationship should be, he may be stuck in his ways. Of course, there’s no harm in trying to change his perspective but do that knowing he may never change.
It’s important to keep working on yourself while you are expecting your partner to change. Don’t keep complaining that he’s set in his ways when you haven’t made that conscious effort to change too. Keep trying to find personal happiness, chase your goals and ensure you’re a better person every day.
13. Know when to let go
Sometimes, the best thing to do for yourself is to know when to let go. The ultimate reason people get into relationships is to find peace, love, happiness, and joy. If you no longer feel that, at some point, you may have to move on. Just ensure that you have explored all the other tips before calling off the relationship.
People feel and interpret love in different ways. Figuring out what your partner loves and prefers, and doing those things is what will make him feel wonderful. Also, don’t rule out special dates and outings.
You don’t always have to spend money or go all out. Just listen to what your partner is saying, and even what he’s not saying. Once you have figured that out, make efforts to do one or more of the things he obviously enjoys.
Relationships are the best platform for two people to get to know each other deeply. That also means discovering what makes them tick, and the things that make them happy. Your boyfriend can make you feel special by paying attention, respecting you, being your peace, and keeping the mood fresh and fun.
He can also choose to call you pet names, treat you like a lady, buy you nice gifts, and act as if you’re the only girl in the world.
If you're wondering why your partner has stopped making an effort in the relationship, there are a number of reasons why. First of all, some guys are addicted to the chase, which means they love that period where they woo, dine and date a girl, but get bored when an actual relationship is fostered.
On the other hand, it’s possible he has just gotten lazy and needs more motivation to start acting right again.
When a man starts taking his woman for granted or gets fazed by other things in life, he easily loses focus. So if you’re not feeling special or respected anymore, it’s possible your partner has lost interest in the relationship. He could also be distracted by things going on in his life like work, family, financial issues, or health concerns.
It’s important to have a conversation with your partner regularly to ensure you are both on the same wavelength. However, if you notice that he is taking you for granted, then reduce those talk times and start focusing on yourself. When he notices that you are more distant than usual, that should concern him.
However, don’t just be busy doing nothing, invest in yourself, go out with friends and try to keep yourself happy.
If you have tried all this and it still seems your boyfriend is oblivious to your needs, it may be time to throw in the towel. Don’t forget that your self-worth is the most important thing, and no one should come out of a relationship worse off than they went in. Did you enjoy reading through this list? Then please leave a comment below and share this article with those that need it.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.