Every relationship has its special rules. If you go about judging your relationship by the standards of other couples, you might get hurt and disappointed most of the time.
What you and your boyfriend consider a deal-breaker is tolerated by other couples. When you think about it thoroughly, what truly matters is what you and your partner consider a huge deal.
For some people, a birthday is just another day, while others think it should be treated as a special day. In the grand scheme of things, birthdays are whatever you make of them, and no relationship should suffer because of how either party treats birthdays.
There are different reasons why your boyfriend didn’t plan a big birthday surprise this year. However, no reason will be enough if he doesn’t try to celebrate you almost every year, especially if you celebrate his own birthday all the time.
Did your boyfriend forget to wish you a happy birthday? Did he send you flowers but you expected more? Are you wondering, ‘what should I do if I don’t get anything for my birthday from my man?’
You’re probably thinking it’s a huge red flag that your partner is never around to spend time with you on your birthdays.
Unfortunately, you might be right. Before you jump to any conclusion that all hope is lost, you might have been handling the situation the wrong way. Read this article till the end to know different ways to handle such situations.
- 1 11 Things To Do When Your Boyfriend Does Nothing For Your Birthday
- 1.1 1. It’s alright to get mad
- 1.2 2. Don’t blow the lid off just yet
- 1.3 3. Hear him out first
- 1.4 4. Let him apologize
- 1.5 5. Have him add your birthday to his calendar
- 1.6 6. Give him a chance to rectify his mistakes
- 1.7 7. Should you be mad in the first place?
- 1.8 8. Say exactly how you feel
- 1.9 9. Don’t act entitled to his money or gifts
- 1.10 10. Be understanding
- 1.11 11. If this forgetfulness is a constant habit, end things
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Summary
11 Things To Do When Your Boyfriend Does Nothing For Your Birthday
1. It’s alright to get mad
Honestly, any girl would feel bad if her man doesn’t show up or show up well. This isn’t just about whether you’re an independent woman or not. Even a superwoman deserves to be spoiled, especially on special occasions. If your man doesn’t take you out on at least a nice dinner on your birthday, something is wrong somewhere.
Of course, you shouldn’t expect extravagant gifts and birthday surprises every year, but if birthdays are important to you, your boyfriend should put in some effort. If you just started dating, he might be more attentive to your needs.
When the relationship is already a couple of months or years, guys tend to forget special occasions such as someone’s birthday; even if that someone is their girl.
Instead of just excusing his bad behavior, it’s fine to feel upset. Just make sure you still celebrate your day by yourself or with friends.
2. Don’t blow the lid off just yet
It is anyone’s guess how terrible it is when the person you love the most forgets your special day. The fact can spoil your plans for the day. Just imagine, one missed ‘happy birthday’ wish or flowers can ruin a day that should have been filled with celebration and fun.
As such, your fury is justified, and in that fury, you can make rash decisions. Before you break things off with your partner because you got absolutely nothing from him for your day, take a moment to cool off. It can be even more hurtful if you’re always going out of your way to not only be present for his own day but to also get him the best gifts.
Again, no excuses will be enough to make up for how much he hurt you but don’t blow the lid off without hearing what he has to say in his defense.
3. Hear him out first
You must talk to your partner first before you decide he intentionally didn’t get you a birthday present or take you somewhere special. If he has been paying attention to you, he would know that you cherish each birthday. He will also have an idea of the items on your wish list.
Who knows, maybe he is planning a bigger surprise for you which you’ll spoil by walking out on him. Talking to him will also make you feel better, especially if this is the first time he would not celebrate your day with you. If you’re in a serious relationship, your partner will not just call you with good wishes on your birthday. He will make sure he sees and takes you to dinner.
If seeing each other is impossible, he will send over a gift or arrange a good surprise even from miles away. If your partner fits this picture, then you should cut him some slack. Anything could be responsible for his silence this year, including the possibility that he forgot.
4. Let him apologize
If you’ve managed to rein in your fury at his forgetfulness, or less-than-ideal birthday care, allow him to apologize. Except he is a jerk face who doesn’t deserve you, he will tell you the truth and promise to make it up to you.
Anyone can make mistakes. It could be you forgetting something important to him the next time. Acting all snotty and unforgiving will only cause problems for you in the future. Two wrongs don’t make one right, and so promising to treat him the same way on his birthday will be a bad call.
If he appears to be telling the truth, forgive him. Celebrating birthdays is good, but ruining your relationship because you’re upset that your partner missed one or two birthdays doesn’t make any sense.
Forgiving him doesn’t make you a pushover as long as you get his promise that he wouldn’t repeat the same mistake.
5. Have him add your birthday to his calendar
If he is usually too busy, and will most likely forget your birthday again the following year, it’s best to set up an automatic reminder on his calendar. Busy guys can seem negligent, but not all of them mean to be so. If your partner is naturally caring, you should help him so he doesn’t hurt you unintentionally.
This solution might even help the relationship in other ways. For example, if he forgets date nights or appointments that involve both of you, setting up reminders will help. If he is receptive to the idea, it shows he cares about you and the importance you place on your birthday.
6. Give him a chance to rectify his mistakes
Except you tell him your birthday is not a big deal and you don’t expect any huge gift, you should allow him to make it up to you. However, telling someone, even your boyfriend, to get you something for your day isn’t all that romantic. When you now do so after he didn’t get you anything on D-day, it makes you look unimportant and less than classy.
As such, let him be the one to offer to rectify his oversight. If he asks for what you want, don’t play coy for too long just to make him suffer. Remember you’ve forgiven him, so tell him what you want. You just might still have the birthday of your dreams in arrears.
7. Should you be mad in the first place?
If he just got you a thoughtful gift recently and wishes you a happy birthday, you might want to reconsider getting too mad at your boyfriend. If you’ve been dating him for a long time, you would know your boyfriend’s financial strength.
If you think he deliberately didn’t get you anything new, you can wait till after the day to ask him why. If you want to be gracious, totally ignore that he only sent you flowers. You can take him out to dinner instead to show that you appreciate all the nice things he does for you.
Generous guys don’t make a big deal out of a birthday when they can spoil you any day they choose to. As such, if you have a generous man, you shouldn’t make a scene because he didn’t send you gifts on your birthday.
8. Say exactly how you feel
Don’t pretend to be okay after he forgot your day. Most guys are already confused about what women want, you don’t need to join the team of girls who make their men guess what they want. If you are mad at him, tell him. If it’s obvious he didn’t remember it was your birthday, tell him.
He might not be ignoring you deliberately because an unpleasant thing happened days before your birthday. He could have truly forgotten. If you don’t tell him what he missed, he will go on like nothing is wrong. Then you will start giving him an attitude, and he will think you’re just acting crazy for nothing.
9. Don’t act entitled to his money or gifts
No matter the level of love and commitment you have with your man, don’t get to the point where you feel or act entitled to his money. If he wants to spend money on you, let him do so because he feels good about it. Let it not be because you expect him to roll out the red carpet for you and make you feel special on your day.
If you end up married to him, a level of entitlement is expected, but not while you’re only his girlfriend. If you give as much as you get from him, giving each other presents randomly and on special days will be a normal thing. That way, neither party will take it personally when the other forgets or is unable to buy a present sometimes.
10. Be understanding
Beyond getting mad at your boyfriend for not sending you any present, try understanding why he couldn’t do so. Before you even get angry at him, let understanding precede your judgment.
Giving him your understanding isn’t the same as excusing his forgetfulness. It is you saying you love and forgive him before he gives you an excuse.
You can only hope that when you talk to him, he won’t lie to you about why he couldn’t get you anything. If trust is an easy thing between both of you, it will be easier to reach an understanding even when one person fails.
11. If this forgetfulness is a constant habit, end things
Breaking up with your boyfriend because he missed your date of birth might seem extreme. However, several missed birthdays speak volumes, especially if he has been forgetting other important events in your life.
If it doesn’t look like he intends to make you a priority, your date of birth will be the least of the things he will forget. As such, break up with him if he doesn’t make any effort to show you’re important to him.
It’s only natural that you feel disappointed when your partner doesn’t plan anything special for your day, especially if it’s the first time you're spending with him. However, there might be a good reason he didn’t plan anything.
It is not only bad but also painful when your man forgets an important date you love to mark. He was possibly busy and forgot to ask you out to dinner. It is even worse when he doesn’t do as little as to text you well wishes.
If you hate surprises, he will ask you what you want. You may also drop clues about what you want that year some weeks before D-day. This limits any disappointment that comes with surprises.
Except if you’re not on good terms with such a person, they probably forgot your day. The person might have even mixed up your date of birth with another person.
He might not have a lot to offer, but a guy who cares about you will put a lot of effort into making you feel special. He will treat you like you deserve the world, and will give it to you if he had it.
If having a birthday celebration every year means so much to you, remind your boyfriend a few weeks to the day. That way, he won’t get in trouble for ignoring, or forgetting your big day.
How helpful was this article? Please drop a comment below, and share the article with a friend.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.