Breakups are hard, especially if you once loved or are still in love with this person. Nothing can be more heartwrenching to decide that you need to break up from the one that you care about. You have tried everything to make it work but your relationship is just not meant to be. Sometimes the only way to be happy is to break up from each other.
A mutual breakup is one where both parties agree that a breakup is the right way to move forward. Things are just not working out between you and you both know it. However, just because you know that it is really the right thing to do it doesn’t make it any easier or any less heartbreaking.
You form an emotional connection to your partner which is difficult to break when you decide to go separate ways. It doesn’t matter what kind of breakup it is, even a mutual one isn’t any easier than a scandalous one. You are still losing someone that you care about. So, what are the signs that your relationship is heading toward a mutual breakup?
Why It Happens And What Are The Signs To Look Out For
If you have been married to a person for years, deciding to separate can be heartbreaking and cause a range of difficult emotions. You may feel abandoned, confused, and unsure how to live your life now that your partner is no longer by your side. He was the one that you always turned to when something was wrong and know he isn’t there anymore.
Even if you have only been dating someone for a few months or a year, it doesn’t mean that this breakup will be any easier either. If you experienced an intense bond with this person from early on in your relationship, it can make breaking up difficult, even if you have only known this person for a relatively short amount of time.
Each breakup is different and depends on each individual couple but every breakup is hard and emotionally draining. Here are the signs to recognize that your relationship may be heading toward a mutual breakup and the reasons why they happen.
1. It Feels Like It Is The End
There may have been no particular reason to cause the end of your breakup. There was no scandal, no partner cheated and you had no huge argument. You don’t feel resentful to each other and you still care for each. But not all relationships work out in the end and that is okay, maybe you were better off as friends anyway.
Things just don’t always work out and sometimes you just stop feeling the same way as you once did about a person. You realized that you have been acting more like friends than romantic partners and that a mutual breakup was the only way forward. Your relationship just wasn’t working out in the way that you had hoped it would.
This situation isn’t necessarily easier than a breakup that ended because of a huge cheating scandal, you are still losing the person that you care about. The passion and the excitement of your relationship are gone, but you never stopped caring about this person.
2. It’s Predictable
You have been together for a long time and your relationship has become totally predictable. You are never spontaneous and you never do anything that is outside of your daily routine. You go to work, have dinner with your partner, watch television together and go to bed, just to repeat the same routine tomorrow. But is this what you want from life?
Your relationship is okay, but there is no passion or excitement there anymore, or there never was. You may love each other but you are starting to realize that this dull relationship is not making you happy anymore. Perhaps you both realize that you want something more and that you are just not suited to each other anymore.
No matter how much you love someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is going to work out. You may both come to realize that you each deserve something more. However, this type of mutual breakup is not easy because you don’t have anyone to blame for feeling hurt and sad.
3. You Love Each Other But You Know It Is Not Going To Work
A mutual breakup can be a sign of love. You both love and care for each other so much that you realize that you both deserve more in this life than your partnership if offering. It can be an awful, heartbreaking feeling to realize this but you know that no matter how hard you try to make it work, it is just not going to last.
In this situation, you are making a courageous and mature decision. You are deciding to let someone go so that they can be happy rather than keeping them around for your own selfish desires. You still love them but not in the same way that you used to. This happens but it doesn’t make it any less difficult to deal with.
You have chosen to let the person that you care about move on and find someone that will make them really happy and they are doing the same thing for you. You may remain friends and you will likely still be a part of their lives forever but you know that a romantic partnership will never work out between you.
4. It Is More Like A Friendship
This is a common reason for a mutual breakup. You want to stay in a friendship with this person but you don’t want to be in a romantic partnership with them anymore. This is a sign of a mature breakup. Even if it gets hard you need to remind yourself that it really is for the best and you have both come to this decision because you care about one another.
You both know that you are better off in a friendship and you know that it is the best decision for both of you moving forward. It will be easier to move on with your life by taking things slow and giving yourself time to realize what has happened. It may be helpful, in this situation to agree not to contact each other for a while so that you can process things.
Just because you have agreed to maintain your friendship no one expects you to be able to move on immediately afterward. So give yourself the time and space you need to heal from the partnership that you did have and accept what things are going to be like between the two of you moving forward.
5. Remember That It Is Okay To Feel Hurt
Even if your breakup has been mutually decided, you feel no resentment toward him and you ended it on good terms it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t feel hurt and saddened by it. Remember that it is okay to grieve even if this is how the partnership ended. Just because he didn’t cheat on you, doesn’t mean that you can’t feel hurt and sad.
Heartbreak is hard, no matter what caused it even if you know that it is really for the best. Remember that it is for the right reasons and you did the right thing in the end. Have the peace of mind that you did the right thing for both of you in this situation. This type of breakup is as hard as any other so make sure that you give yourself the time you need to heal.
A mutual breakup is not necessarily easier than any other breakup. You still love each other even though you know that this is the right thing to do. It is important for breakup recovery that you give yourself enough time and space to grieve and to find a way to move on. Don’t rush things and allow yourself to feel this way for a while.
There is no reason why you can’t get back together after a mutual breakup, however, it is important to remember the issues that caused your breakup in the first place as these things have likely not gone away since. Make sure to take time to work on your personal issues and to figure out what it is that you want in a life partner.
Mutual breakups can happen, however, they are likely not as common as a breakup that is ended by one partner. Mutual breakups are not necessarily any easier than a breakup that ends in a scandal between two people, huge arguments and fights or feelings of resentment. You still love and care for this person and you have to let them go.
If you have just broken up with someone the first thing to do is to remember to surround yourself with those people in your life that you trust most. Accept support and help from your closest friends and family to help you through this difficult time. Remember to allow yourself to grieve and give yourself time to get over your breakup.
There is no reason why you cannot have a friendship with a person after a mutual breakup. However, it is important to make sure that you are both completely over your partnership before you decide to be friends with each other. You may be able to develop a friendship with this person over time, but don’t rush things.
To Sum Up…
Breakups between two people are hard and mutual breakups are not any easier. Just because your partnership didn’t end in a scandal or in a huge argument, it doesn’t mean that it is any less heartbreaking. You may still love and care for each other but you have both mutually come to the realization that you are better off apart.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.