Men Are Disappointing (9 Things To Do If Your Man Always Disappoints You)

The search for the right person can be exhausting, especially in a world that doesn’t encourage women to do so with an open heart. You want to be sincere with every guy you meet, but you know you need to keep your guard up as most guys are usually players when they aren’t ready for commitment. 

Except for only a few, many women usually find it easy dating one guy while many men are serial daters. This is not to say that there isn’t a good percentage of men who are always looking for serious relationships, but the ratio of such men to their female counterparts is smaller.

If you have male friends, you can testify to the fact that most men don’t disappoint their women intentionally. The personality difference between men and women is usually responsible for most of the disagreements in relationships.

9 Things To Do If Your Guy Always Disappoints You 

A man might see nothing wrong with not talking to you for a few days, while a woman is already thinking of all the ways he has been cheating on her during his radio silence. Something as simple as not replying to text messages can make a woman in love sad.

A man might think not offering you money is a form of respect, while you think asking him for money is demeaning because he ought to offer first. As such, the back-and-forth cycle of trial and error continues until one person gets tired and ends things.

Relationships can be tough but the right amount of communication can make things easier. However, if your man isn’t willing to do things the right way, you might battle with several disappointments throughout the relationship. 

Are you tired of hearing your man say sorry after each mistake? Do you always feel like you’re boxed in an unhappy corner because of your man and don’t know what to do? Are you about to call it off with your fiancé but thinking of giving him a second chance? Read this article to the end for tips on what to do in these situations. 

1. Learn to speak up more

You cannot thrive in relationships where you cannot talk about your feelings freely. You will find yourself cowering to fear every time you want to say what you think. Your self worth will be reduced to nothing and you will swallow the disappointments your partner serves you daily. 

However, if your relationship is a safe place where you can honestly pour out your mind, then you should tell your partner when his actions are hurting you. It is common to feel like shutting up when he swaps one error for another and you don’t want to be the nagging girlfriend most men dread. 

You want to accept that people aren’t perfect, but they aren’t dense either. If your partner is reasonable, he will listen to what you have to say and adjust. If you desire a change, you have to make him have a conversation about it. If you stop talking about your desires, you will undoubtedly continue to be disappointed.

2. Avoid burying your emotions under pretense

avoid burying your emotions under pressure

If you are lying to yourself by staying in an unhappy relationship, you will end up depressed. By making everyone, including your partner, believe that you’re okay, you will be miserable every day you are with him.

You shouldn’t ignore how much his actions hurt you because burying your feelings will lead to a terrible explosion that will make you do or say regretful things. A guy who cares about you will want you to talk to him when he does something to hurt you.

Even when you’re not ready to confront the guy you’re dating about how unhappy you are with most of his actions, you can talk to yourself about it. Be honest with yourself about how you feel like breaking up with him, or doing him bodily harm. 

Life is too short to be spent in relationships that make you cry every day. So, stop ignoring your feelings and open up to him and hear what he has to say in his defense. Things might end in a bad breakup, but you’ll be free to pursue other things or people who will make your life meaningful. 

3. List the things he is doing right

When you feel a constant sense of dissatisfaction in your relationship, it is because you feel that something is missing. You are sure you still love your partner, but love doesn’t seem enough at that moment. And so, everything he does will irritate you.

Your dissatisfaction could even be because he refused to honor a recent request and your mind started digging up all the things he hasn’t been getting right. This further aggravates your annoyance and things worsen for both of you. 

In times like this, the answer might lie in you writing a list of the good things he has been doing to show that he is interested in your happiness. For example, if the sex is good, write it down. If he always covers you with a blanket when you fall asleep after a long day, or fixes your favorite meal without any provocation, make sure you write them down too. 

You can take these positive actions as a good sign that he is still a good man despite his recent mistakes. 

4. Compile a list of his disappointing actions

Guys can be oblivious to their hurtful actions and you’ll simply take it as an intentional slight to you. Some guys too can be intentionally cruel, so you need to know which category your partner belongs to. After making a list of his good attributes and actions, you should also compile the negative things he has been doing recently that affect you. 

Don’t dig out previous actions that have been forgiven because that would simply be unfair to him. Instead, consider repeated actions that you can’t stand, especially the ones you’ve complained about several times.

You want him to feel guilty enough, so even while injecting your emotions into the conversations don’t use words that will send him mixed signals. For instance, if he had started ignoring you in favor of his work or buddies, tell him plainly how wrong he is.

These seemingly small things hurting you are the red flags that most people ignore in their relationships. Don’t make the same error. Once you’ve listed these things, compare them with the list of good things he does for you to see which one is longer. 

Whether the negative outweighs the positive or vice versa, you should still sit him down and give him a chance to make corrections. If he doesn’t change, you can take a drastic step that best suits you. 

5. Check your feelings and expectations

check your feelings and expectations

When you ignore the reasons behind your disappointments, you will never understand why you’ve been feeling the way you do. Is it possible that you’re expecting way too much from him than he can give to you?

Maybe you’re expecting to completely intertwine both of your lives but he doesn’t think it’s a good idea. A smart guy would want his girl to have her own life and thrive even without his input. 

Men can be very realistic to the point of thinking every possible outcome through before committing to one girl. If you are acting parasitic, a guy can stylishly withdraw his affection or openly defy you.

As such, if your needs contrast and the possibility of him meeting them is wide, you might be acting unfairly. So, you should take stock of your current expectations and have a conversation with him about them. 

You might even feel bad for blaming him so much for your dissatisfaction.

6. Get advice from an expert

Instead of letting your guy walk all over you every time, especially if you’ve noticed a similar pattern with other men in past relationships, you should talk to someone who can help you sort out your feelings. 

You may try speaking with a trusted elderly friend or your parents, or you can just hire an expert. An expert might be a better option because they will help you but not make you feel guilty even if you share partial blame for your sense of dissatisfaction. 

An expert therapist or relationship counselor can help you reach different levels of understanding such as whether you’re currently dissatisfied because you want your ex back or you’re comparing your current partner with men from your past.

Although they will never tell you what to do, experts can help you conclude whether to stay with this guy or if both of you should go your separate ways.

7. Create a list of actions and consequences

If you’ve never had a conversation on boundaries, it can be easy for either of you to act in ways that don’t serve the other person’s interests. Creating a list of actions and the consequences the defaulters deserve will help both of you keep your actions in check.

Relationships aren’t just about acting on your feelings for the other person, it is also about not going beyond the point they are willing to go. So, setting boundaries will help to control the amount of disappointment that you will tolerate.

For example, you could apply the no contacting rule as one of the consequences of him ignoring your needs and doing just what he wants. Then, restore communication when he remedies the situation.

8. Live a full life

live a full life

A wise girl who wants to have a happy life knows she doesn’t need a guy to do so. Women who fall into the trap of dependency chase the elusive satisfaction all their lives. A guy can make you happy, but your existence or satisfaction shouldn’t depend on your ability to keep one.

As such, if your current partner isn’t making you happy, focus on that career and purpose you already have, and spend time and money on yourself. Have an occasional date night with friends whether you have a guy or not.

Break up with people who are making your life hell. Live the amazing life you deserve, and your contentment will attract the right guy.

9. Do what is best for you

At the end of the day, everyone does what is best for them. If your partner is being stealthily selfish, you might need to listen to your gut. 

Also, ignore what others think you should do because they only see what is shown to them. Plus, you’ll be the one bearing the aftermath of your mistake or the benefits of your wise decision. 

Stop ignoring self-care as it is very important to your daily wellbeing, and if he doesn’t treat you right, don’t continue to hope that he will eventually do right by you. If you need to walk away, do so before you give too much of yourself that you cannot recover.

FAQs

What to say to a man when he disappoints you?

Communicate his mistakes clearly, but avoid using disrespectful words because tables can turn and you’ll be on the receiving end of his reprimand another day.

How do I deal with a disappointing boyfriend?

You can give him a second chance the first few times, but if he keeps doing the same things you correct him for, you might want to dump him.

Is feeling disappointed normal?

It is normal to feel disappointed because you can inspire that negative feeling in other people. However, it can be a bad thing if that emotion is your constant companion.

How do you express dissatisfaction in a relationship?

You should be able to inform your partner that you’re dissatisfied with the way things are without the fear that you risk ending the relationship by speaking out.

What is the difference between hurt and disappointment?

The first one is a deep feeling triggered by betrayal or physical abuse, while the second one can be a feeling of mild irritation that someone fell short of the standard they painted for you.

In Conclusion 

Don’t forget your worth even as you’re chasing love and stability. A series of little disappointments can turn into a giant pile of pain and heartbreaks. Evaluate your situation to know if fixing things or separating is the best for regaining your peace of mind and joy. You deserve a guy that will treat you better.

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