For most people, an invitation to meet the parents is a positive affirmation of a relationship. Despite this perception, meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time can be nerve-wracking. The sweaty palms, the long uncomfortable silences, and the awkward questions can leave some of the most confident women in a puddle of nerves.
You see, meeting your boyfriend and meeting his mother and father are two different milestones. But unlike meeting your boyfriend, seeing his family for the first time is downright scary.
Nevertheless, meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time doesn't have to feel like an interview. After all, your partner is an extension of his family, and he’s probably given you clues about his childhood and family life. In this article, I will provide you with seventeen things to note when meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time.
- 1 Things To Remember When Meeting His Parents
- 1.1 1. Carry Out Your Research
- 1.2 2. Bring A Gift
- 1.3 3. Respect Family Rules
- 1.4 4. Be A Good Listener
- 1.5 5. Be Honest, Don't Fake It
- 1.6 6. Have Good Table Manners
- 1.7 7. Offer To Help Out
- 1.8 8. Compliment And Appreciate His Mom
- 1.9 9. Keep Your Phone Away
- 1.10 10. Easy On The PDA
- 1.11 11. Dress Appropriately
- 1.12 12. Keep Away From Controversial Issues
- 1.13 13. Don't Be A Mute
- 1.14 14. Watch Your Glass
- 1.15 15. Remain Neutral
- 1.16 16. Send A Thank You Note
- 1.17 17. Don't Be Late
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
Things To Remember When Meeting His Parents
1. Carry Out Your Research
The last thing you want is to visit his mom and dad when you are clueless; their first impression matters. Make sure that the first gathering is planned and well thought through, as this will give you ample time to prepare. Your boyfriend already knows you are nervous, so don't be shy to ask him questions about his family.
Questions about their hobbies, career, and perceptions of life can give you an idea of who they are as individuals and make for a smooth conversation. Anything that can get you ahead of the game when it comes to the first impression should be researched beforehand.
2. Bring A Gift
While there is no written rule regarding bringing a gift, never underestimate its importance. Irrespective of the time of the year, where you are coming from, or how little your gift may be, do not make the mistake of arriving at your partner's house empty-handed. A simple gift like a flower, a bottle of wine, or dessert will go along way to show that you care. If you are unsure about any allergies, a book can serve as a good alternative.
3. Respect Family Rules
You and your partner may come from different family backgrounds, as such, house rules may seem a little strange. However, it is expected that you adhere to these rules, however, restricting they may seem.
For instance, your partner's mom and dad may be old-fashioned and insist on you sleeping in separate bedrooms. While it is not something you would typically do, remember you are a guest in their home, and the inconvenience is only for a few nights.
4. Be A Good Listener
Sitting on a dinner table with someone who acts like they know it all can be quite annoying. So if you do not consider yourself to be a good listener, you should probably put more effort into the practice of holding your tongue.
Even if they discuss a topic you know a lot about, allow them to speak and limit your contributions to when a question is thrown at you. After all, someone once said, you know more about people when you listen to them. So, use this opportunity to learn more about your boyfriend's family by listening to them.
5. Be Honest, Don't Fake It
While it is polite to smile now and then and between conversations, you should also remember to be yourself. What many people do not realize is that people can see through a fake smile and weird body language.
They know when you are pretending to be cheerful or interested in something. So, if you find yourself stuck in a discussion that bores you, instead of feigning interest, try to focus on new things you can learn from the topic.
6. Have Good Table Manners
An important thing to pay attention to when meeting your boyfriend's parents over a mean is your table manners. You see, lousy table etiquette can ruin their impression of you even when everything else seems right. No one wants to watch you speak with a full mouth or see food dribbling down your chin.
The standard rules you should stick to includes; don't be a picky eater and don't be a glutton either. Remember to thank your hosts at the end of your meal and not leave remnants on your plate. Thanking your hosts shows that you appreciate their efforts in preparing your meal, and you may choose to throw in a compliment here.
7. Offer To Help Out
While some people do not care whether you lend a hand or not, it is generally considered good manners when you offer to help clear the table after a meal. Even if it means standing in the kitchen while his mom cleans up, your effort will be noticed. This shows that you are willing to be a part of his family, and it also gives you time to build a bond with your future mother-in-law.
8. Compliment And Appreciate His Mom
From the moment you step into her home to when you are set to leave, seize every opportunity to compliment his mother. It is one sure way to win her heart. Tell her how lovely her house looks, compliment the interior design, and how fantastic dinner tasted.
Above all, be honest in your compliments, and don't say what you don't mean. When you say nice things to his mother, it means that you appreciate her taste and efforts.
9. Keep Your Phone Away
It is bad manners to have your phone continually buzzing through a conversation. So, try to keep your phone away when meeting his parents. If it is impossible to do away with your phone completely, put it on silent mode to avoid distractions. Texting or scrolling through your phone during dinner is a sign that you are not interested in his parents or whatever they have to say.
10. Easy On The PDA
We get it. You and your boyfriend love each other deeply. However, it would help if you learned to tone down the public display of affection. A peck on the cheek is alright, but the constant leg rubs, kisses, and shoulder rubs may come off wrong.
There is a time and place where signs of affection are acceptable, but his parents' presence is not one of them. So, leave the PDA all the way at home, after all, it's just one evening.
11. Dress Appropriately
There is a famous saying that goes along the line of dressing the way you want to be addressed. This goes to say that your speaks volume about who you are. Therefore, under no circumstance should you meet your boyfriend's parents wearing an inappropriate outfit.
As part of your research before meeting his parents, you have to dig up some information about the venue and the dress code so that you can pick your outfits accordingly.
12. Keep Away From Controversial Issues
Try to keep away from topics that border around religion, politics, and race. These are sensitive topics that you should not bring up when meeting his parents for the first time. However, if they bring it up, you can carry on with the discussion but remember to let them take the lead, and try not to get carried away by your opinions.
13. Don't Be A Mute
While it advisable that you refrain yourself from talking too much, don’t stay too quiet or withdrawn from what's happening around you. Pitch in your opinions when necessary. If you choose to remain silent all through the evening, his parents will believe you are not happy to meet them. So, know when to speak up.
14. Watch Your Glass
Keep your alcohol intake to the barest minimum. You will need to ensure that you are in your right senses all through dinner as the first time you meet is not the occasion to share drunk jokes or say something that you will regret later. Try sticking to a glass of wine all through the dinner as it is embarrassing to show up or leave your boyfriend's parents' house drunk.
15. Remain Neutral
It is not unusual to see parents who tease their children, and your boyfriend's parents may fall into that category. Try not to take sides and remain neutral. You do not want the be the tiebreaker in an argument.
For instance, if they are teasing him about comic book collections he won't throw out, and you join in, the next time his parents bring it up, they will weaponize your acknowledgment. This situation can cause issues within your relationship, so remember to stay neutral.
16. Send A Thank You Note
A thank you note is a polite and beautiful way to end the time spent with your boyfriend's parents. It shows that you had a great time with them and look forward to visiting again. As a special touch, attach your card to a bouquet, or a box of chocolates. It will leave a good and lasting first impression in the minds of his parents.
17. Don't Be Late
By all means, avoid arriving late, especially if you are expected to meet his parents at a restaurant, or somewhere besides their home. If you have set a time to meet, make sure you arrive at least ten minutes earlier.
After all, it is better to arrive earlier than late. You are more likely to be anxious and less composed when you arrive late, so make sure you are fashionably early to maintain your composure and confidence.
When a guy introduces a girl to his parents, it's usually a sign that he is ready to be committed. However, before you decide to meet his parents, it is important that you also have a conviction that you are prepared to commit to him. There is no need to rush this process, so I suggest you wait for at least six months as that should give you enough time to decide if you want a future with your boyfriend.
The question of what to wear to meet your boyfriend's parents is something almost every girl has experienced. However, before choosing your outfit, make sure you know the venue, the occasion, and dress accordingly. A simple wrap or shift dress is excellent, altogether, pick simple outfits that fit into many scenarios.
It is normal to feel nervous about meeting your boyfriend's parents. However, remember to ensure that you feel ready to meet them. Arrive early, go with a gift and be yourself. There is no need to pretend to be someone you aren't as his parents will most likely know when you are pretending.
Going to meet your partner's parents is always a good sign as it shows that they are committed and willing to take your relationship to the next level. Most guys hesitate to introduce a girl to their parents until they are sure they like her. So, if your man wants to introduce you to his family, that means he likes you and wants to strengthen the bond you already share.
There is no rule on how long you should wait before meeting your boyfriend's family as it all depends on you and your partner. However, six months is a reasonable time for one to wait. It is expected that within this period, you would have grown to understand each other and can tell if you want to take your relationship seriously or not.
It is normal to feel nervous when meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time; however, by adhering to the tips above, you make a long-lasting first impression. I hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don't forget to drop a comment behind and share it with your friends.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.