Why does anyone go into a marriage of convenience? Does marriage hold so much appeal that you would get married to someone you know little about? Are you on the cusp of giving in to a marriage of convenience because you’re beginning to think ‘What’s love got to do with getting married’?
Some people enter marriages of convenience because they are convinced such a union holds all they need to live a satisfying life. Some accept contract marriages because they want to solidify a business or family relationship.
The latter type of marriage of convenience could be termed forced marriages because the couple is only getting married to satisfy their folks. Only a few marriages of convenience end up as successful ones because the couple worked hard to make that happen, while some never got to manage the disadvantages of getting married to a stranger or someone you don’t love.
The probability of making a marriage of convenience work is very slim, but those who successfully achieve this feat tend to enjoy their marriage because of the friendship element they started with.
Before you decide that a marriage of convenience is the best option to replace patiently searching for a partner you’ll love (and who will love you back), be sure to read these facts about marriages of convenience.
- 1 11 Facts About A Marriage of Convenience
- 1.1 1. You enter it because you’re lonely
- 1.2 2. You do it for the money
- 1.3 3. You do it because you want to be happy
- 1.4 4. You’re more in love with the idea of a marriage than the person
- 1.5 5. You don’t know what you want
- 1.6 6. Your life goals are more important than your happiness
- 1.7 7. You marry out of a sense of responsibility
- 1.8 8. You think friendship in marriage is more important than love
- 1.9 9. You seek the freedom a marriage of convenience gives
- 1.10 10. Your partner might never get around to treating you right
- 1.11 11. It might take a long time to make the marriage work
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Summary
11 Facts About A Marriage of Convenience
1. You enter it because you’re lonely
Humans are creatures of cohabitation and so, it’s normal to seek the warmth or presence of another human at any given time. Furthermore, a time comes for almost everyone, male or not, when you want your own person to care for, love, and coexist with.
When that time comes and you are finding it hard to get that special person, it is easy to accept whoever comes your way as a replacement at the time. Loneliness and the need for companionship can make you settle for a marriage of convenience.
Are you thinking of entering a marriage of convenience with that man or woman just because you need a partner to have and hold every day? Think thoroughly about your decision to choose a marriage of convenience. Why do you want to do it? Is it exactly what you need or it might not be the best for you in the end?
2. You do it for the money
Financial security is a major incentive that makes people think marriages of convenience aren’t that bad. People who grew up in relative poverty or humble backgrounds find it even easier to go for a marriage of convenience. This is because they want to experience a good life and secure a better future for their children.
The desire to raise a family that won’t lack for anything is an admirable one everyone should pursue, but a marriage of convenience isn’t always the answer to this problem. What happens when you finally gain the attention of a rich person, go through the wedding, only to find out you’ve entered a sham of a marriage and things are not what you expect?
There’s no guarantee that a love-inspired marriage will work out. So, the probability that a marriage of convenience, built on the desire for financial liberation, will work is not that likely either.
3. You do it because you want to be happy
An unhappy person is a lonely person and so, you can make wrong decisions out of longing for happiness. A decision to enter a marriage of convenience can spring up from the need for happiness you seek from another person.
As such, a misplaced sense of judgment by placing the responsibility of your happiness in the other person’s hands signals the end of the marriage of convenience before it even begins. No one can truly make you happy if you don’t have a measure of joy in you before you commit to them.
Therefore, before you get together with that person and start a family, ask yourself if you are placing too much weight on their shoulders because you seek happiness. Then, reassess your decision.
4. You’re more in love with the idea of a marriage than the person
Society places so much importance on marriage and people feel pressured to experience the largely acclaimed institution. Most people who end up in a marriage of convenience do so because they fell in love with the fairy tale of meeting prince charming, and raising a family happily ever after.
Instead of following the due process and falling in love with the person first, some people become obsessed with the idea of marriage itself and so, they end up in a marriage for the convenience of it.
The pressure that comes with thinking that “My friends and colleagues just got married, will I be the only one left behind?” is enough to make people of marriageable age give in to a marriage of convenience. However, you should reconsider your why for wanting to marry that person.
5. You don’t know what you want
One of the other reasons you think of entering a marriage of convenience which is lacking in romance is because you aren’t sure of what you want. You see others entering the marriage market and you think you need to do the same.
You think you’re in love with someone but you don’t feel the intensity that should be present between two people who want to be together forever. Yet, you want to go ahead with the marriage.
Sometimes, a marriage of convenience is based on these uncertainties. So, if you’ve been calling your decision a different name, stop deceiving yourself and call it the marriage of convenience it is.
6. Your life goals are more important than your happiness
Is it good to have life goals and set a timeframe for achieving them? Yes, but is it wise to stay on course with some of these goals even when they threaten your happiness or fulfillment? Definitely not.
Sometimes, people make decisions from a place of unyielding stubbornness and become bitter later in life. A marriage of convenience is birthed from such unyielding stubbornness and you shouldn’t sacrifice your happiness for some goals you wouldn’t remember down the line.
7. You marry out of a sense of responsibility
Duty and responsibility have their places but they shouldn’t be the reason you marry someone. Sometimes, the sense of responsibility you think you feel might be pity in disguise and that is not a good foundation to build your marriage on.
Why are you considering marriage to that person? Is it based on the right emotions or are you doing it because it is convenient for the other person?
8. You think friendship in marriage is more important than love
Friendship is a great start for a relationship, but not the only thing you need to build a marriage. If you’ve been burned one too many times by people you love, you might want to rely on the safety of friendship because it holds a lesser risk of being burned again.
However, a marriage needs more than friendship to thrive. If you believe you only need to be friends with the person you marry, it’s simply a marriage of convenience.
9. You seek the freedom a marriage of convenience gives
Many people go into a marriage of convenience with their eyes wide open and with a full understanding of their decisions. For example, you can decide to have a husband who will give you the freedom to do whatever you want, including cheating, and both of you would call the marriage an ‘open relationship’.
In essence, it’s a marriage of convenience. More so, it’s a marriage in name only but also one with benefits. The endgame of such marriages is usually not desirable no matter how appealing they may seem initially.
10. Your partner might never get around to treating you right
Going into a marriage of convenience thinking your husband or wife will grow to love you and you’ll gain their respect is similar to hoping they will change from being who they are.
Rather than build your hope on something that has no guarantee and place your life in unknown danger, think about waiting for someone who loves you and marrying them instead.
11. It might take a long time to make the marriage work
A marriage of convenience is not a new idea and it was actually a normal thing in earlier centuries. In those days, a marriage of convenience worked for people because it was expected and couples did their best to live a good life, despite how their marriages came to be.
In recent times though, the idea of a marriage of convenience has become a rare occurrence and so, it is difficult for such arrangements to work in the best interest of both parties. As such, if you’re entering a marriage of convenience, be ready to fight for your happiness with all you have because it might never come within such a union.
If you legally tie the knot, e.g. registering your union at the marriage registry with the government, yes it is legal.
A diplomatic wedding is a marriage of convenience arranged between powerful political families to strengthen the bond of their relationship.
A marriage of convenience is not considered void as long as it was legalized in a courtroom or registered under the law.
A female husband is used in a same-sex marriage between two women. The female husband is the one who pays bridewealth and also assumes legal authority over her wife and children.
Any marriage that occurs while you are still married to someone else is called bigamy, it’s an offense punishable by law and renders your new marriage invalid.
A marriage of convenience can sometimes appear to be the solution to your current situation, but it is not usually a lasting one. As such, choosing to marry someone out of convenience might not lead to the kind of life you would desire in years to come. Think properly about the decision you’re about to make to avoid living in regret.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.