Hollywood will tell you that you should get married for love, I mean, what's a marriage without that romantic element. Sure, in real life that’s not a bad premise to find a life partner, but there is also the question of whether they are marriage material. If you cannot ask questions like this, then finding a partner may become quite the task.
Let me start by saying that each person has different qualities that they ascribe to the term ‘marriage material’, so do not take this as a blanket instruction. Nevertheless, you should be able to find one or two qualities here that remind you about the person you want to get married to.
It is with that in mind that I have graciously come up with these signs that your partner is marriage material. Sit tight and enjoy the ride.
- 1 19 Signs Your Partner Is Marriage Material
- 1.1 1. They are emotionally present
- 1.2 2. They are their own person
- 1.3 3. They remember the small things
- 1.4 4. They should have a good sense of humor
- 1.5 5. They should complement you
- 1.6 6. They should support you
- 1.7 7. They are kind
- 1.8 8. Things should get steamy in the bedroom
- 1.9 9. Communication is not a problem
- 1.10 10. … and compromise isn’t a problem either
- 1.11 11. You can be yourselves when you are together
- 1.12 12. They do not have a war-ridden relationship history
- 1.13 13. Conflict does not change them into a monster
- 1.14 14. They treat others with respect
- 1.15 15. They are reliable
- 1.16 16. They do not mind asking for help
- 1.17 17. They value honesty
- 1.18 18. They do not judge you
- 1.19 19. He feels at home
- 2 FAQs
- 3 Conclusion
19 Signs Your Partner Is Marriage Material
1. They are emotionally present
We have all dated that guy who is such an absent partner, you end up regarding the relationship as some sort of lesson. If you haven’t, then you are so lucky because it is horrid. One thing you want is for your partner to be open and anything but frugal when it comes to their emotions.
Even if you do not want the person to be a giant teddy bear of a man, you must admit that he should be caring at the very least.
It is different when you are just dating, men find it easy to show kindness then because they are still winning you over. If he is not emotionally secure or present at the very least, then you will begin to wish you never promoted him from boyfriend to husband status.
2. They are their own person
For some people, it may seem cute when he is just your boyfriend, but once he puts a ring on it you will need him to do his part and step up to the plate. Marriage is no walk in the park and you will have people who depend on you wholly; they’re called children. So, ensure that you go for a spouse that is independent and has his own goals.
The only tweak there is that his goals should not wane his commitment to your family. Nevertheless, he should not constantly bend to your will when you have issues or shy away from every difference you have.
3. They remember the small things
It is easy to remember the things that seem important in the grand scheme of things. But once a man remembers those tiny things that don’t seem to make a difference, that is a sign that he is marriage material. It means he is genuinely interested in you and what makes you tick, which is not a commitment many men are willing to make.
So, if he remembers seemingly trivial things like the way your feet get too warm at night, or how sad movies make you tear up, then your partner is definitely marriage material.
4. They should have a good sense of humor
Life is hard, and as an extension, marriage can be a bit cumbersome, this is something that most married couples will tell you. In fact, let’s not take it too far, every relationship has its ups and downs, so if you cannot laugh together and at each other, things may become unbearable.
Now, I have a strong aversion to people who constantly poke fun at my expense, so I am going to warn against that.
A partner who is marriage material should be able to laugh with you a lot more than they laugh at you (because trust me, they will laugh at you sometimes). Simply do not embark on a lifelong relationship that is bleak or void of laughs.
5. They should complement you
I believe that a major sign that your partner is marriage material is that they complement you. I don’t want to marry my twin character-wise, I want a relationship where we each bring something different to the table. Have you heard the saying, variety is the spice of life? Well, this is something that may just make your marriage work.
Let’s say, you do not like doing household tasks, well, it would be nice if your partner did. Or, you are not the outspoken type, it would be great to have someone who can stick up for you when people use you as a foot mat. Altogether, having balanced qualities makes you a much better team.
6. They should support you
Even twins have varying goals and aspirations, and till quite recently it was believed that they were pretty much the same person. In a relationship like marriage, you are regarded as one, but that does not mean you can’t have your own dream. As I mentioned earlier, each partner should have their own goals and aspirations.
I am going to take it a step further here by saying that each partner should support the other. Sure, you should have your own part to play, but that should never stop you from supporting one another. People outside your relationship may serve as a hindrance, so all you have is one another.
7. They are kind
That goes without saying, right? Wrong. Some people don't even know what kindness really entails. It does not mean that you let your partner walk all over your time and time again, or that you indulge their every whim.
It simply means that you are being nice, especially when it counts. If you are looking for signs that he is marriage material, think back to the nice gestures he has made while you were dating.
Were they for personal gain, did he do it to get a reaction from everyone else but you, or was he truly just being kind to the woman he loves? Questions like these will let you know whether marriage is the right next step for you.
8. Things should get steamy in the bedroom
Sexual chemistry is just one part of building solid relationships, but boy is it an integral one. In general, once the marriage rites are concluded (even before that) you are expected to remain faithful to this one person for all time. That will be pretty hard if yours is one of those relationships that are yawn-worthy in the bedroom.
You don’t have to be porn star certified to enjoy a good old roll in the hay, simply know what your partner enjoys. This is where most couples miss the plot, people are different, so don’t think that your M.O from a former relationship will work the same. Taking time out to learn what you like is a sign that he is marriage material.
9. Communication is not a problem
I have been in a relationship where I hardly had to say a word and my man would understand what I was trying to say. But, for some guys, you could whip out the chalkboard and lesson notes and still would not be able to communicate what you want. If communication is a no-no between you two, then don’t bother, because it gets harder within the confines of marriage.
You need to have a healthy give and take, you equally need to be able to discuss unpleasant issues without blowing the roof off or causing harm to property or each other. So, please, don’t marry someone you argue over trivial stuff with all the time in the name of having a passionate relationship.
10. … and compromise isn’t a problem either
No matter how well you communicate, a marriage without compromise is not a pleasant place to be. You can’t get your way all the time and neither can he. So, if he comes off as a little petty when it comes to dropping an argument or letting you have the last slice of pizza, then by all means reexamine that relationship under a microscope.
The trick here is to watch him evolve from the beginning of the relationship, some people don’t learn the art of compromise all at one go. But if he makes an effort, he may very well be marriage material.
11. You can be yourselves when you are together
Marriage is a serious commitment and journey, but that does not mean every aspect of it has to be rigid. Besides having a great sense of humor, this man should be someone you can be yourself with. We all put on masks as we go out every morning, to some you are a co-worker, to others you may be a doctor or a teacher.
Nevertheless, when you get home, you should be able to shed that mask and simply be you with the man you love. So, the moment you find that you’re wearing a mask or five when you are home with him is the moment to edge away from the idea of marriage.
12. They do not have a war-ridden relationship history
Before you think about marriage, please consider what his past relationships have been like. Many people these days don’t mind talking badly about their exes and coming out looking like the victim in a past entanglement. That on its own is a red flag, it takes two to tango, whether he was dating Godzilla before you or not, he should be able to pinpoint where he went wrong.
Also, if he left the carnage of his past girlfriends behind him, then evidently, there is a pattern forming. What are the chances that he won’t try to do that with you, even within the confines of marriage? Sure people do change but think about how often that happens.
13. Conflict does not change them into a monster
Till a little while ago, people were not aware that you could handle conflicts between romantic partners in a civil manner. Arguments and disagreements do not always have to turn him into the hulk, only for you to hook up with Bruce Banner once the emotions die down. That is not a healthy way to deal with conflict.
Think about it this way, you may be able to handle all the craziness (which I doubt is ever the case), what about the kids you will eventually have? How will your method of conflict resolution affect them as individuals? Think carefully about this before you walk down the aisle because it affects more people than just you.
14. They treat others with respect
Sure, he treats you like a queen, but have you ever panned back to look at how he treats others? You may think that he is generally a prankster or just likes having a laugh (at the expense of others). This is not a good sign, one day the person on the other side of that ‘laugh’ is going to be you or someone you care about.
If he cannot give basic respect to the waiter at a restaurant, a valet, or even his friends, then that is a sign that you should run for the hills.
15. They are reliable
Believe me, when starting a family, you will need more than stability, you will need someone that is reliable too. If you want to marry this man, then ask yourself this; can you rely on him, and does he keep to his word? This is not just for your sake, but think of the kids you will have, do you want them to come into a world where they cannot rely on their parents?
I say parents because you are ultimately a team, so what one person does reflects on the other, that’s just the way it is. If he is not reliable, you may find yourself stepping up to the plate to do stuff you were never meant to do on your own. That is just as good as being on your own, so think carefully about this one.
16. They do not mind asking for help
Marriage is a partnership, as such, one party cannot fully thrive without the other. So, if you find that you are with a man who will not come to you when he needs support or a helping hand, then that is a red flag. You do not even have to provide a solution, sometimes, simply lending a listening ear can help calm them down enough to come up with a solution.
Talking to you or asking for help is a sign that you will be better able to go through the many challenges life will throw at both of you.
17. They value honesty
This is one area you can’t overlook when you are searching for a life partner, it can make or break your relationship. Sometimes, you find yourself hiding the littlest issues from your partner because you are scared of how they will react. That should never be the case, if you can’t cry in front of him or admit to a giant blunder that makes you look silly, what are you doing together?
He is the one person you should be able to share your everything with, so if he is not honest and that rubs off on you, there is a problem at the source.
18. They do not judge you
You probably get a judgment from people outside your relationship, so it is wrong to feel judged by your significant other. We have all done stuff we are not necessarily proud of, but to survive this world, moving forward is compulsory. Marry someone who helps you move forward.
19. He feels at home
If you are like me, you try to make your personal space feel as homey and comfortable as can be. The outside world can be brutal and you just need that safe haven to crawl into at the end of the day. If you feel like you are safe in your personal space when you are with him, maybe you should put a ring on it before he gets away!
First, when you and your partner are compatible without necessarily agreeing on everything, then he is husband material. He should also recognize your strengths and weaknesses without making you feel bad. He should also be growth-oriented and willing to make long-term plans with you on the spot.
It simply means that he is potentially looking at a long-term relationship with you. He may not be ready to ask for your hand in marriage just yet, but he wants to explore the idea of going beyond dating you. Altogether, he has seen a sign or signs that point to the fact that you are the one for him.
There is no clear list that states exactly what should be present in every marriage to make it tick. For one, your spouse should be committed to you and vice versa, you should both be ready to be faithful and loving. You have to think of someone other than yourself and also love him even when it is hard to.
That answer to that question varies because not every man is the same, but here are some desirable things across the board. They want someone who is stable enough to build a home with. They equally want someone who has their own life goals and knows how to align them with family goals. It does not hurt if their potential partner is also proud of her own skin.
First, your relationship does not have to be 100% perfect, but you should be confident that he has your back. He should be someone who supports your life goals while having his, in fact, you should sharpen each other. There should never be a time that you doubt his love for you even in the middle of a disagreement.
Finding that person that is ‘marriage material’ can seem like a daunting task, that is why I hope that this article has shown you that they’ve been right there all along. Remember, I mentioned that the term marriage material may not mean the same thing to everyone, I would love to hear your notion of it in the comment box below.
Also, share this with someone who would benefit, because sharing is caring.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.