Mad At Boyfriend (47 Ways To Handle Being Mad At Your Boyfriend)

Concealing emotions is as harmful as expressing them the wrong way. Of course, for any relationship to be successful, there should be proper communication from both partners. But, not everyone makes use of this particular life hack. Some feel things should be in a certain way; the anger theory. 

The anger theory is expressing yourself or your feelings to your partner in an angry way. It’s normal for couples to disagree or argue in their relationship. But, depending on how you approach it, you could either improve or break your relationship. Being that guys have different personalities means you could scare your boyfriend away.

At the same time, bottling up your feelings could push you and your partner apart. You may be wondering how you can strike a balance between feeling good with yourself, making your partner happy, and maintaining a relationship. 

There are many ways to handle being mad at your boyfriend, express yourself, and still have a good relationship. Keep reading to learn 47 tips to do this. 

Contents

47 Ways To Handle Being Mad At Your Boyfriend

1. Pinpoint the problem

Before getting angry at your boyfriend for some reason, be sure what the issue is first. Make sure he's at fault or mostly the cause of your anger. It's one thing getting angry, but it’s another thing being mad at the right thing for the right reasons.

It could be that your friend did something bad at the same time your partner was sarcastic about something you both usually joke about. What your friend did may make you angry, but you could mistake it for what your partner did, instead. So, to avoid any mixup when you're getting mad at your partner, pinpoint the problem first.

2. Accept your anger

Most people refuse to accept they're angry, even when their feelings, thoughts, actions, and emotions say it all. They keep saying they're okay when in reality, they want to start a fight with their boyfriend. Accepting that you're angry is a responsibility many people run from.

So, when there's an issue that pisses you off, or you're not happy about it, accept that you're feeling bad about it, but would be grateful if you and your partner take some time to talk it out or find ways to solve it. This is a good way you can handle when you're mad at your partner for any reason.

3. Reach out to friends and family

Sometimes you could vent to your loved ones instead of getting into an argument with your boyfriend. Venting out your thoughts and expressing your feelings will help tame your anger. It will control your emotions and prevent you from exhibiting toxic actions.

You don't have to rant or vent your anger about your boyfriend. You could talk to them about other things, maybe, plan a hang out together, or ask them how their day went. Make a video call or start a conversation on chat with them, if they have time, to ease yourself of the burden. It's one way to handle being mad at your partner.

4. Take some time off responding to his calls

If you're not with your boyfriend when you both have a problem, it's better you avoid picking up his calls for a while, so you both don't have any conflict. Take some time off to take some coffee or cold drink somewhere else to cool off to avoid saying harsh words.

Responding to his calls when you're mad at your partner would push you to express your feelings, emotions, and thoughts in a bad way, which could affect both of you. This means it could cause other issues between you and your boyfriend if you don't control them, hence, more anger from both of you.

5. Be honest with your boyfriend about how you feel

Communication is one of the keys to successful relationships. When you have a problem with your boyfriend, tell him. No matter how little or complicated it may be. It's good to completely let out a bad feeling when it comes to avoiding accumulating bad thoughts.

When you conceal a bad feeling, you begin to build up bad thoughts, whether it's about you or your partner. Sometimes, it's times like this that take people off-guard; they unconsciously start building thoughts of suicide or breaking up a relationship. So, one good way to handle being mad at your partner is, to be honest about how you're feeling about a problem.

6. Ask his reasons for his actions

A guy that truly loves you would not do anything consciously to hurt you. Sometimes, they could hurt you in the process of doing something to please you. For instance, he could be planning a surprise birthday for you when you're more of a lover of private dinners or buying you a bag when you're a shoe lover.

Of course, your boyfriend not understanding your love language may make you mad at him. But, that is something you could easily correct and handle amicably. In a situation like that, you could tell him or talk to him about it, instead of getting mad or expressing your anger at him.

7. Tell him a better way to go about a similar situation

Most times in relationships, it takes some time for a couple to get to know each other, especially if they have opposite personalities. Your boyfriend may be in the same situation. He may not know how to approach certain things without getting on your nerves.

So you could tell what he did to spur your anger, him how you're feeling, and how he should do it in the future. Guiding your partner on how to best relate with you is one way to handle a bad situation when you're mad at him. It will help build a stronger bond between both of you and improve your relationship.

8. Take some time to cool off

take some time to cool off

When you're mad at your boyfriend, take some time out to cool off. You could see a movie, attend a yoga class, dance class, or music show. You could also rest a bit, maybe turn off your phone or stay off social media. Try everything you can to take your mind off the situation for a while.

Doing this helps to prepare your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, to initiate a calm and thoughtful conversation, one that would tame your actions, ensure there's no argument, and restore peace between you. Don't forget; a calm mind knows no conflict. It will help your relationship in the long term.

9. Don’t bring up past issues

What makes relationships last longer is the ability of the couple to leave old problems in the past. Bringing up a conversation about an issue that happened in the past between you both to compare to the present problem is a no-no. It could cause an additional uncontrollable fight or argument.

Avoid past issues you both had as much as you can. If you want to address the current problem, do so amicably without comparing it to any other mistake. You could bring up old problems at a different time after solving the current one. This is a way to handle being mad at your boyfriend.

10. Be nice to them

One way to send a message that you're hurt to your partner without being mad is to be nice to him. Sometimes, it takes good actions to get people to listen to you or feel the way you're feeling at the moment. That's because good deeds encourage people to be open to corrections.

You could take him out on a lunch or dinner date, buy a lovely thoughtful gift, or prepare them a special meal. After eating good food with a full tummy, you can peacefully talk about any problem with your partner. At this point, there will be little or no argument, and there would be headway for harmony.

11. The silent treatment

Giving your boyfriend the silent treatment should be a regular thing. It should come when you're sure he's intentionally making mistakes. Not every woman can talk or express themselves when there's a problem. In a situation like this, you could just keep quiet and let him decide.

Don't get this wrong; silent treatment doesn't mean ignoring your partner. It's a way to show him how hurt you are. Sometimes, words can express your hurt, so it's better to remain silent in cases like that. If your partner understands you, he'll understand your silence means anger.

12. Keep calm and count 1 to 10

This is an exercise usually given to people with anger management. It helps control your emotions, feelings, and actions. Counting from one to ten helps to regulate anger, especially if you feel the situation will cause a fight or conflict for both of you. You could close your eyes or fix them somewhere else.

The aim is not to eliminate the feeling of hurt or anger completely but to control your feelings and emotions to avoid a heated argument. The one to ten technique has helped many couples handle problems better and improved relationships greatly. It's something you should try.

13. Make a joke out of it

Jokes make everything look easy. If your partner is one that takes things seriously and doesn't make it easy to correct, you could use a joke to tell them when you're mad at them. You should be mindful of your jokes, too, to avoid unconsciously creating another problem.

Not all jokes are perfect for expressing your hurt feeling in every situation, but a few selected ones could help convey the message. It all depends on your boyfriend, his personality, and the kinds of jokes he relates to. So, while trying to express your feelings playfully, don't take so much time on the jokes. Go straight to the point.

14. Communicate why you are angry with him

You can't express your anger without having reasons for doing so. A man doesn't think like a woman. For men, they could do something nonchalantly without having deep thoughts about the repercussions. But, a woman may most likely think of the feeling it will bring to anyone involved.

So, tell your boyfriend why you're mad at him. Let him know how it made you feel when he did, said, or reacted to something. This would help bring both of you on the same page. Communicating your reasons to your partner will be good for your relationship in the long term, except you want otherwise.

15. Think about the best memories with him

No matter how new your relationship is, you may have had good times together. Try to remember when he made you laugh, you pranked him, and he fell for it, or you made him taste a random horrible meal while you laughed so hard. These are lovely memories.

You could reminisce about your games together, when you both laughed at a random joke, you were a team at a competition or kissed at sunset. Remembering these memories and more, if you have any, would help you or bring ideas on how best to handle your mood when you're mad at your boyfriend.

16. Ask yourself why it’s bothering you a lot

ask yourself why its bothering you a lot

Before taking any actions, ask yourself specific questions about your anger. This is to know if you're truly angry at your boyfriend, it's because of your insecurities, trust issues, or going through a tough phase in your personal life. Taking a little time to do this would balance everything out.

This way, you know the exact actions to take and how to express your feelings and emotions. So, before storming to begin a conversation with your partner about hurting you, ask yourself why you're so mad at him. If you're at fault, too, take responsibility for it. It will help solve the problem and save your relationship.

17. Laugh about the issue

A few people have tried using laughter as their first reaction to problems, and it worked. It's been known to make a bad situation seem lighter. You could try it. Laughter helps to balance a situation naturally. It calms you a bit no matter how angry you are at your boyfriend.

Whether it's a sarcastic laugh or straight from the heart when your initial reaction is laughter, it makes way for other emotions to fall into place rightly, and it gives you the right words to say without causing conflict between you and your partner. It's another way to handle yourself when you're mad at your boyfriend.

18. Don’t react immediately

Of course, most problems in a relationship don't require time to relax before being addressed. Some of them need an urgent response from any of the partners that are hurt by the other. But, it's advised not to react immediately if the situation doesn't call for any. Take a little time to reflect on the problem to know what to do.

Sometimes the little space you give to reflect on it could automatically solve the situation. It could make your boyfriend also think about it, pushing him to apologize or make it up to you before you complain about it. It's a good way to control your anger.

19. If he wants to apologize, give him a chance

It's tempting for a woman to talk to her partner nonstop without letting them respond. If you're angry at your boyfriend, he's feeling sorry and wants to apologize, let him do so. Not every man out there feels bad for hurting you, yet again apologize to you.

He may either accept his fault or not, but he'll know starting a fight would not be as peaceful as apologizing to his woman and letting things go. So, if your partner knows he's wrong and is willing to be remorseful for his actions, give him a chance to do it.

20. Be careful of the words you use

It's effortless to use abusive words when you're mad at someone. That's because you want them to know how you feel, but it's not the right way to approach any situation. Words can't be taken back. Sometimes, they hurt more than actions because they work on people psychologically.

While you're trying to express your feelings, think about the words before saying them, so you don't mistakenly use hurtful words. A few relationships have been tagged to be unsuccessful and have ended in a horrible way because of either of the couple's choice of words. The words you use to express yourself would handle your anger at your boyfriend.

21. Cry, if you want to

People have different ways to express their feelings and emotions; some talk, laugh, lament, remain silent, fight, or engage others in an argument, but one healthy way is crying. Tears help to relax the muscles and calm the heart. Depending on your personality, you could cry directly to your boyfriend or alone in your space.

Crying to him would say it all or serve as a grand introduction to anything you have to tell him. Crying alone in your space calms you enough to coordinate your speech and express your feelings more. Either way, it helps handle your mood when you're mad at your boyfriend.

22. See a movie

Movies help to relieve stress. Depending on the genre, you could either laugh, cry, be alert, or be scared when watching them, which means you could enjoy the comfort of your home with some snacks and drinks or go to a cinema to see one. If you're in a receptive mood, you could ask one of your friends to join you.

But if you're not, you could walk in alone, grab a bowl of popcorn and have the fun of your life. Occupying yourself this way will reduce the effect of your anger to let you know how to talk to your boyfriend about your feelings.

23. Take a walk

Long walks are therapeutic. They have a way of loosening up your spirit from a certain level of anger. If you feel you’re so mad at your boyfriend you can’t stand him without a fight; you could take a walk around your immediate external environment

You won’t only get a breath of fresh air, but get to see different things that make you smile. For instance, kids playing, a couple having fun, or lovely animals playing with their owners. Seeing a different life outside will help balance your feelings, thoughts, and emotions without so much stress, helping mend things between you and your boyfriend.

24. Don’t belittle or degrade your boyfriend

dont belittle or degrade your boyfriend

Talking harshly in a degrading way to your partner could ruin your relationship. It could happen in any way, like reminding him of his weaknesses or connecting them to the situation. That will belittle his pride, making him feel insignificant.

So no matter how he hurts your feelings, don't aim your anger or emotion at reminding him of his past failures or mistakes. They don't relate to him hurting you, and if they do, you shouldn't emphasize them in your talk. Instead, concentrate on how to communicate your sad feelings or anger to him. It's a way to manage being mad at your partner.

25. Try not to be moody

Becoming moody may do the trick, depending on the situation. But most times, it doesn't help. Your partner pissing you off could make you too sad to react or express your feelings to him. But, being moody will leave him in a state of confusion. He may not even know he hurt you.

Some guys would ask why you're looking sad, while some others may not. A few of them may decide to leave you in your space until you become happy. Your partner may most likely fall into any of those categories, which may or may not favor you, and it's one reason you should avoid being moody.

26. Go out with other friends

If you've tried to address the problem and it didn't work out, you could try taking some time out to have some fun with your friends. Being in love with someone doesn't mean you should spend time with them all the time. Maybe what he needs is time away from you, even though he may not realize it.

So give him some space to reflect and miss you a bit in your relationship. It could be a party, games night at one of your friend's places, or drinks and quality time with the people you're most comfortable with. It's one way to handle being mad at your partner.

27. Focus your mind on other things

Most times, not all guys are willing to listen or apologize for their wrong deeds. In a situation like this, try to focus on yourself. Take yourself on that town trip you've always wanted to try and take random photos. Go to a random city and laugh with strangers.

You could stay at home reading books or watching tutorials on different recipes. Listen to soft music while you munch on snacks or read an interesting article to learn a thing or two. It may not be easy to do any of these, especially if you're in love with your partner. But, it will help tame your anger and work on your relationship.

28. Avoid replying to his messages

Whenever you're angry at your partner, avoid responding to his messages. You could give an excuse that will permit you to be away for some time until you cool off. But, avoid using the accumulated anger to reply to him. This is because you're sad or pissed and not thinking straight.

You could misinterpret his innocent cute messages to check up on you and behave in a way that would make things worse. Or, if you're ready, you could ask to have a physical meeting with him. The reason is that he may not know he has hurt you. This is another way you can handle your anger when mad at your partner.

29. Try some sarcasm

Slight sarcasm helps to solve a few situations. Depending on your relationship, you could drop a few sarcastic comments to let your partner know how you feel about a particular problem he may have engineered. That way, your message is sent, and everyone is fine.

But, it's not advised to do this if your partner is more of the emotional person in your relationship. If you do, make sure it's the right time, place, and mood for it to avoid causing conflict between both of you, making it another good way to handle being angry at your partner.

30. Try not to be controlling

Don't mistake controlling your partner for expressing yourself. Things don't always have to go your way. So, if you're mad that your partner doesn't agree with you on something, that may be you trying to control his decisions. Remember, he's a different person than you are, making you both unique individuals.

If he feels something should go a certain way, that shouldn't make you angry; you should find a way to make it work amicably. Or, you could tell him how you feel. If he truly loves you, he may compromise to make you happy, but you should give him some time to accept it. This is a way to manage any anger when you're pissed at your partner.

31. Remember, you can make the same mistakes too

When you get angry at your partner, you should take it easy on him. Don't forget you're in a relationship, and you could make similar mistakes, hence, provoking his anger, too. It doesn't mean you should overlook telling him how you feel about something.

Make it as light as you would want him to approach you if you piss him off. Say the right things, and give him some pace to talk frequently. It may be annoying, but don't forget every relationship needs compromise to succeed.

32. Write down the way you feel

write down the way you feel

You can call this journaling, which helps to express your anger the way it is. This is because you don't have to mince or filter your words to suit anybody's ears. You write it as it is in your book, and when you're done, you could decide to keep it or tear it off and discard it.

Journaling is therapeutic and has been proven to be a way for couples to communicate. The little bad thing about pressing your anger in a book without telling your partner is, it conceals your true feelings from him, which may bring a future conflict in your relationship if you don't clarify the problem with your partner.

33. Let it go

As annoying as it may sound, some issues are better left undiscussed. The reason is that it could cause more conflict between you and your partner or make the problem worse with no solution, hence, leaving your relationship unbalanced.

If you feel expressing your anger to your boyfriend may cause more tension, try weighing the pros and cons of letting it go. If it's something you can overlook, you may have to let it go to have peace of mind in your relationship. Replace it with the good times you've had together, or remind yourself of your little flaws he has to cope with. But, this only applies to minor issues.

34. Don’t play the victim role

Playing the victim card could be easy. Many partners do this to gain attention in their relationship. It helps sometimes but, it could turn out as manipulation or emotional blackmail. It could leave your partner in a position to feel unsafe with you.

Even though it could help solve a problem temporarily, it's not healthy for a relationship in the long term. It will make your partner feel unheard. This means you should avoid using the victim card to express your anger when you're mad at your boyfriend. It will help manage the situation.

35. Analyze the problem to know if you’re at fault too

Your partner may not be at fault. It could be that you expected him to support one of your bad behaviors, but he reacted the opposite way. That, too, could hurt your feelings. So, make a good analysis of the problem to be sure you're not at fault.

It's one thing blaming your partner for provoking your anger when, in reality, you caused it, and it's another thing asking them to apologize for it. Either way, check yourself and play the entire situation in your head to confirm the person at fault. It will help you know if to get mad at your boyfriend or not.

36. Talk to a random person about it

There are times you're left clueless on how to handle a situation that has to do with your feelings without causing a conflict. When you find yourself in times like this, you could talk to a random person about it. It doesn't have to be a therapist; it could be a random person at a park.

The good thing about this is that they know neither you nor your partner, making their piece of advice unbiased. Sometimes, they may not talk much, but listening to you could be a big relief. It will reduce or eliminate your anger and control your feelings. This may be if none of your loved ones is available.

37. Don’t fight or argue about it

Getting involved in a fight or argument with your boyfriend when he pisses you off is never a good idea. It makes things worse, heated up, and could cause a conflict in your relationship. Most times, either or both partners feel they're right in the conversation, which makes things more complicated than they should be.

A good way to handle your feelings of anger when you're mad at your boyfriend is to avoid any form of argument or conflict between both of you, even if he seems to bring it up. Manage your discussion with him amicably until you prove your point, or give him time to come around.

38. Send him a text or a little note to express yourself

A text or a little note is more like mini journaling. It's therapeutic, expresses your feelings, and tames your anger a bit because he won't get to experience it face to face. The downside of texts is your tone may be misinterpreted if you don't use certain polite words or emojis.

So it's perfect if you prefer texting each other in your relationship and wouldn't mind discussing the situation without hearing or seeing one another. But, you may not necessarily talk about it. You could put it in a story form and write how you'll want him to make it up to you.

39. Use his love language

You may be mad at your partner, but you have to use his love language to speak to him to express your feelings. Is he the mushy type? Or does he like straightforward conversations with apt points? As his partner, you should know that about him.

That's an excellent way to express your anger. It will prevent an additional conflict, make him understand how you feel, and sort things out between both of you in no time. There could be a few questions from him to clarify things, but using his love language to communicate will guide you. You should do this when you're happy with him too.

40. Don’t vent on social media

dont vent on social media

Social media platforms are not advisable for relationships, even though many people are comfortable and can manage their lives out there. It's fun to post your happy times for others to see, but avoid posting most of your problems, especially when they have to do with your relationship.

Of course, they say a problem shared with other people is half solved, and people may empathize and give you ideas on how to approach any issue you have with your boyfriend. Still, you will expose your private life to the public, and before you know it, your business becomes everybody's business. This is an effective way to handle being mad at your boyfriend.

41. Control bad thoughts

It's better to replace bad thoughts with good ones when you're mad at your boyfriend. No matter how difficult the situation may be, don't let your thoughts go wild. Find beautiful memories with loved ones to replace angry thoughts. It will help calm your mood.

This may be hard, especially if the issue between both of you seems unbearable and unsolvable at the moment. Take a quiet time to remember lovely memories or create new future ones just to distract you from having bad ideas in your head. It will help to handle being mad at your boyfriend.

42. Ask him how he feels when he’s mad at you?

Empathy is another way you could use to handle being mad at your boyfriend. You need to get your boyfriend in your shoes to understand exactly how you're feeling. You could start by asking him questions about how he'll feel if he was going through the same issue.

Or, you could talk in the third-person perspective, as if it's happening to your friend. Ask him what he feels about the situation and find out how he'll approach it if he is the victim. Whatever he says, you could use it as a way to handle your anger towards him. This is very constructive but will help if you try it.

43. Think of any future plans you have

Many people tend to reduce their anger at their loved ones when they remember the plans they have with them, while others cancel them. When you're mad at your boyfriend, you should try to remember the beautiful future plans you make with him. They'll give you reasons to manage his attitude and smile a bit.

Remember your little vacation with him as the full sponsor, your barbecue night, your visit to the zoo, and many other fun things you plan to do together. These plans will soften your anger and guide you through expressing your feelings to your partner.

44. Don’t forget relationships are not perfect

Some people have the mindset of having a fairytale relationship. It's what causes most problems between couples. If you have a picture of a perfect relationship, you may want to take it easy with yourself. Your partner will always make mistakes, same as you. This means you have to be patient for things to get to an almost perfect stage.

So take some time to know, understand, and manage your partner's flaws. Take responsibility for your flaws too. If your partner makes you mad at them, tell them as politely as possible until you know them well to express your feelings the best possible way.

45. Be careful of the actions you take

When you're mad at your boyfriend, you may want to take certain actions to justify how you feel at the moment. For instance, you may want to break up with him because he cheated on you, burn his car because he went on a vacation without you, or break his game console for not giving you attention.

But the truth is, making rash decisions could affect your relationship, especially if you plan to remain together in the long term. So, be careful not to ruin his reputation at work, break his laptop, or deep his phone in water, to avoid being affected by your actions in your relationship.

46. Go for exercise

Exercises are known to boost happiness levels and balance moods, especially when it's anger or sadness. Pick an exercise you're most comfortable doing and try it when you're mad at your boyfriend. It could be as simple as jogging, a fast walk, or jumping.

It doesn't have to be for hours, but enough to boost your energy level and reduce your sad mood. A simple exercise for a start could help you manage your feelings of anger towards your boyfriend. This is one of the simple ways to handle being mad at your boyfriend, and as the situation may be, you could do it together.

47. Start a normal conversation with him

Sometimes, you could handle being mad at your boyfriend by sorting it as a regular challenge with him. Engage him in a normal but deep conversation and make your point. With this, it will make the atmosphere relaxed enough for you two to talk.

You could do other activities while talking to him to avoid your discussion graduating to an intense argument. You could make comments about something in your surroundings, ask questions to find out how he's doing or how his day went, or play with his face if you're near him. Handling your anger this way will not only manage a situation but bring a long-term solution too.

FAQs

What do you do when you are mad at your boyfriend?

Take some time to cool off and think about the situation because this act makes your head calm to think of how to handle it. You could talk to him about it to tell him how you feel, listen to his reason for his action and maybe, apologize, or let it slide, depending on the problem.

Why am I angry at my boyfriend?

If he didn’t do anything to upset you, it could be that you're going through a hard time and need some space. It may be accumulated anger for his little misbehaviors or because you’re gradually getting tired of him. If none of these is happening, you could just be stressed or going through bad mood swings.

Can you be mad at someone and still love them?

It’s normal to be angry at people, but the truth is, the more you love someone, the higher your level of anger towards them when they do something to hurt you. That’s because you expect a lot from them. So, getting angry at someone you love happens, and it’s sometimes healthy for a relationship.

Is it okay to be angry at your boyfriend?

If you both have an issue, and he does something to hurt you, it’s okay to be angry at him. Sometimes people get mad not because they dislike someone but because their loved ones don’t meet the high expectations of understanding them. So, it’s a mixture of anger and disappointment.

How do I make him scared of losing me?

You could let him know how bad you feel your relationship is going. Talk to him about the jokes other people say and how much attention they give you compared to him. Remind him of the fun times you had together and how you miss them and hang out with other people.

To Sum Up

If you’re having a hard time in your relationship and finding a perfect way to handle being mad at your boyfriend without causing any conflict, feel free to try any of these 47 tips I’ve mentioned and see how things turn out. And if you like this article, please drop a comment and share it with others.

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