Love and lust are two very seemingly similar things that raise questions especially when one is mistaken for the other. There’s a thin line between the two and if you’re not careful you could get confused trying to figure out their differences.
But, we can’t really talk about them if we don’t know what they mean. So, what is love? And what is lust? Well, according to the date mix love is a combination of strong emotional connection, affection, and attraction.
Lust, on the other hand, stems from pure physical attraction. Although, it’s hard to tell sometimes because they both have similarities. Lust and love are different. They both make you excited in any form of relationship.
With these two, there’s still a connection whether it is an emotional desire or a purely physical sexual attraction. However, it could begin with love and end with lust or vice versa so it’s always good to look out for signs. Lust could lead to love just like love can be mistaken for lust. At the same time, a guy could love you and still lust over you.
Love vs lust may center on deep affection, but love is purer, and are the genuine feelings you have for another person. Lust is when the affection stems from a pure sexual desire of a person, and not necessarily anything else.
Keep reading to find out the major disparities and what this could mean in any relationship.
- 1 9 Ways To Differentiate Between Love And Lust
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
9 Ways To Differentiate Between Love And Lust
1. How Your Conversations Go
It's amazing to know how far conversations can go when it comes to love vs lust.
There would be longer, deeper, and more meaningful conversations that have to do with growth when it’s love. You will talk about anything and everything and they will be more about each other’s long-term goals and how to support them fully.
If it’s lust, it’s basically going to be casual talks about sex or anything physical without any emotional desire. You’ll spend time sexting the person with no deep conversations. Neither of you may even know what’s going on in your lives.
2. Quality Of Time You Spend Together
What you share during the time you spend together also matters. Love makes you want to try out spontaneous things. You would want to try out things like visit places together and get involved in activities that would add value to your lives. Your time together would be to connect more and to study each other’s likes and dislikes in addition to physical touch.
There may be intimacy but that would just be a compliment to the relationship. When it’s lust, there would be little or no interest in what’s going on in your lives. Most of your time would be invested more in intimacy or other forms of physical touch. You’d be more concerned about satisfying the other person instead of sharing quality moments.
3. Level Of Compromise
Compromise plays a huge role when it comes to love and lust. Your willingness to sacrifice for another person will determine if you’re in love or simply lusting after him.
When you have a deep affection for someone, you almost feel like you could do anything for them. There are no strings attached or clauses, you just want to help because you are in love.
Lust just makes you feel like you have to have that person by all means. Yes, you think about them a lot, but anything you do for them would be based on your sexual desire to get in bed with them.
4. I Or We
Love vs lust brings to mind these four pronouns, ‘I,’ ‘me,’ ‘us,’ or ‘we’.
When you’re with this person, do you say to yourself “I just want to kiss that sculptured chest of his…” or “I really hope things between us could work out’’? This is the perfect example of lust vs love. Lust just thinks about one’s own self while love looks out for the other person as well.
Love thinks beyond the feelings you have in a relationship, because those change, it’s a deep affection that can’t be altered. Love vs lust shows how fleeting a person’s feelings can be, because while love’s regardless of physical attraction, lust depends on that.
So, if all you can think about is how great this person’s body is, that’s not love. Lust focuses on the physical and has more selfish desires while love can still thrive where there’s diminished sexual desire.
5. Your Thoughts About Them
Love vs lust also differs when it comes to how you think about this person. Do you have deep feelings for them, think about their welfare, and hope for their growth and success? That’s love. Lust mostly creates fantasies in your head; sensual flashes of what an amazing time you could be having with that person.
Chances are you could also fantasize about him in many ways if you’re in love. You would want to know how he’ll look in different outfits; if he’ll treat you right, respond to your silly talks, or how he’ll look if you both have kids together. So love vs lust shows that sometimes, people in love still lust after their partner’s when in a relationship.
6. How Your Body Reacts To It
I’ve had an opportunity to experiencebothbefore any trust me, my body reacted to each differently. When I was in love I didn’t need to think about surprise or gift ideas. They just flowed in unexpectedly and it was like I just knew exactly what to do. No matter what he did, the feelings I had for him never changed.
But I also found myself losing affection for this person after a few make-out sessions. It turned out that I was just craving long kisses, his touch, cuddles, and nothing more. So, his way of life started irritating me, he wanted more but I was done. That, I can clearly tell you was lust.
This may look little but it's not, when it comes to love vs lust, it’s very essential. There are two scenarios here. Firstly, when you keep receiving frequent gifts or sense unnecessary kindness from a guy you haven’t spent time with, that could be lust.
Secondly, if you’re intimate with someone that has not properly asked you out or said anything about being in a relationship, and he doesn’t sound like he cares enough to buy you a gift, it’s probably lust.
Gifts, when you’re in love, convey a lot of messages, both the spoken and unspoken. They are an expression of love. They become very special when they’re thoughtful but still convey the message to your loved one.
8. Level Of Respect
You get clues on how people treat you whether it’s in private or in the midst of other people.
If it’s love, nobody needs to be told what to do or how to act. You both will introduce yourselves to people you respect when you’re together. You’ll talk about him to people you care about and you’ll do it in the most decent and appreciative way possible.
But if it’s lust, you may not even talk about him to anyone, or you would casually tell people you hang out with, but you won’t introduce him to them physically. If you do, it would just be one of those countless introductions.
9. Attention To Details
Lust does not let you observe things about a man. It keeps pushing you to the fact that he’s attractive enough for you to be with. It clouds you so much you ignore little details or red flags. For instance, if he chews loud and you don’t like that, you could ignore it because you’re lusting over him.
Love, on the other hand, makes you notice every detail, every flaw, every perfection. You talk to him about them because you care and you would want him to correct or minimize some of his mistakes. That’s what a relationship should have, love and not just lust. Lust doesn’t mind leaving a person the way you met him, but love seeks to change and does so compassionately.
So, ask yourself, does what you and this person feel for each other sound more like lust or love? Lust wouldn’t care about the specifics, it simply thrives on physical appearance and satisfaction. Love wants more, dares to ask for more, and makes the effort to build a meaningful and well-balanced relationship.
Many people define lust as a strong physical desire for something, but love is that and more. Lust only lasts for a period of time until the desire is satisfied. Love goes farther to teach you a lot of things which makes it last longer than lust.
When comparing lust vs love, you have to consider the attribute of each. Love has so much to offer emotionally, physically, and otherwise while lust only focuses on the physical. Lust can lead to love, but love trumps lust because it has affection, physical desire, contentment, trust, value, commitment, and much more to offer.
Yes, love can be mistaken for lust and it usually happens when there’s miscommunication between the two individuals involved. Those deep emotional feelings may feel the same, but time mostly tells whether it’s lust or love.
There are certain things you need to do to keep yourself in check, especially when you want love from a man. The 3-month rule is an important one that gives you a space of 3 months to see a guy’s real attitude before committing or giving into any form of relationship.
Lust encompasses every action that goes against natural laws. Actions that include greed, desperation, and sometimes loss of self-control over the things we wish to have. You may want to stop but sometimes, you can’t. I feel anything that gives you that kind of rush can be classified as a sin.
After all, is said and done, you could be on different pages and assume that you know what you’re in for when in reality the exact opposite is happening. However, you can use the tips above to evaluate your true feelings for one another. If you liked this article, feel free to drop a comment and share.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.