Marriage is one cord that binds families, and even tribes together. But there are two types of marriage; marriages with a love story and arranged marriages. The former is quite common in many Western countries. While arranged marriages are common in countries such as India. An arranged marriage happens when two people who do not know each other get married.
This union is usually under the influence of their parents. Some factors may influence their choice of the man or woman they pick for their child to marry. It could depend on if the person comes from a good family.
For whatever reason, for many people, it seems absurd to put two strangers together and expect them to make their relationship work. How do they adjust to new life with each other?
Despite these negative factors, there can be love in an arranged marriage. It is not unheard of. It has happened many times and it can happen. On that note, here are some tips to love someone when in an arranged marriage.
- 1 9 Tips To Love Someone When In An Arranged Marriage
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Summary
9 Tips To Love Someone When In An Arranged Marriage
1. Create and maintain friendships
Every successful marriage has quite a love story! The best of most romantic relationships often started with small friendships. Friendships are usually overlooked. But at the bedrock of every successful relationship, the couples are usually best friends.
Friendship involves respect, kindness, developing good communication patterns, etc. As you become friends, you get to know each other better. You can go on dates to get to know each other better. Or you can try exchanging gifts.
Social media has even made accessibility to information very easy. So, you can follow each other on social media. This way, you will know his likes, interests, and dislikes and slowly build chemistry with your would-be husband.
2. Build trust
Trust is at the foundation of every romantic relationship, whether in an arranged marriage or a love marriage. One way to build trust is to first trust. Give your partner a reason to trust you by trusting them back.
I understand that readily trusting someone (especially after single life) might be difficult. You could get hurt several times. That is true. But if your would-be husband is bent on hurting you intentionally without remorse, then there is no reason to be together anyway.
On the plus side, it is one way to get him to fall in love with you. Everyone loves to be the recipient of other people's trust.
3. Spend time with him
If you want to love your husband in an arranged marriage, spending time with him is a good idea. That way, you will know his likes and dislikes in addition to the little things about him, such as his favorite perfume. By spending quality time, you will also understand his plans for the future and the direction he is taking his new family in.
4. Accept him as he comes
Everyone has their likes and dislikes. Understandably, we all have standards. And perhaps, your man may have some flaws that you do not like. Do not try to change him into someone else. Accept him as he is. If you both do things differently, don't argue over it. And if it bothers you so much, try to find a way around it.
It is possible that you, accepting your partner the way he is, will help him try to change some bad habits of his for your sake.
5. Division of labor
Do not let society define the roles of you and your husband. The wife should not always do the cooking and dishes. Likewise, the husband shouldn’t always be the one going to work, unless that’s what you both want.
It’s always best to have a progressive home. You can both exchange chores at home and divide the roles between you two periodically. This way, you’ll both have fun doing chores at home.
6. Readily give out
Many people in an arranged marriage often focus on trying to live together peacefully. However, it involves mutual respect and balancing finances, etc. But it is possible for there to be love in an arranged marriage. But it involves two people who are willing to make it work. To create that happy family you are envisioning, you should be willing to give out your all.
Manage your expectations because you may not get the energy you are readily giving out. But that is how a lot of successful relationships are built. I say this because love is never selfish.
7. Give it time
Many challenges come when trying to fall in love with someone for the first time. Most importantly, it takes people who are willing to put in the necessary effort to make it work. If you want it to work, use your charms.
Every great relationship is gradual. It takes time to build. So try your best not to rush things. Give it time. Allow your partner to love you slowly. I say this because when that happens, you will never regret the time you put in.
8. Try to explore each other’s interests
For many married couples, the primary aim is to build a family. If that’s the case with you, you should first explore each other's interests. This is how you both get acquainted with each other's world. By knowing your partner's interests, you can plan surprise dates. This can help to improve intimacy and closeness.
9. Be understanding
Love is easy when there is understanding. You do not have to necessarily agree with all your partner's ways and ideologies. But you can try to understand where that ideology is coming from. We all come from different homes. This means that we are bound to do things differently and see-through many issues with different lenses.
That is why two people, no matter how different they are, can stay happily married. This is because, despite each other's flaws and misconceptions, there is a basic understanding that is holding the marriage together.
Yes, there can be love in an arranged union. However, most times, it takes time to build.
To find love in this type of union, try to know and understand your partner well. This is so that you can be friends. Again, patience is of utmost importance. Accept the person as he is. Also, the more time you spend together, the more likely you will find love with your partner.
Studies show that those who marry for love end up divorcing more than those in an arranged marriage. In most cases, in an arranged marriage, the couples do not know each other, so they try to do things well. Rather than in a marriage of love where the couples are in their comfort zones.
Also, people in marriages for love do not know if they are in lust or love. So sometimes, they discover the truth too late.
Statistics have unveiled that an arranged marriage can be quite happy as a love marriage.
Marrying your first love could go one of two ways. It could either be successful or it could all go down the drain. Like all healthy and long-lasting relationships, it needs a good foundation on which the relationship can stand.
In conclusion, I hope you have taken note of all the points that can up the romance between you and your husband in an arranged marriage. This can be your love story too.
I hope you enjoyed this article. Let me know your thoughts on it in the comments section. Please share this piece with your family and friends.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.