Nothing with the word ‘love’ in it should be bad right? But boy are you in for the ride of your life. As if the dating world wasn’t confusing enough, people are now doing something called ‘love bombing’.
As it's hard to keep up with the lingua these days, I’m going to break it down for you. If you meet a nice guy – someone that comes across as a regular Prince charming type – for the most part, you’re just glad that chivalry isn’t dead. Even better, he sweeps you off your feet, showers with you with gifts and affection like never before. It sounds perfect, right?
The thing is some people use all that affection as a manipulation technique. In terms of dating vices, it sounds like it's not so bad right? Let me just tell you it's actually one of the worst; it’s overwhelming, it's confusing and it's untruthful. But how do you know the exact love bombing signs to look out for?
From the sound of things, you may be too busy enjoying yourself to see the relationship for what they are. Thankfully, I’ve got the lowdown on all this and then some.
- 1 What Are The Signs Of Love Bombing?
- 1.1 1. They say exactly what you want to hear
- 1.2 2. The grand gestures keep rolling in
- 1.3 3. Your attention is like a drug to them
- 1.4 4. They move way too fast
- 1.5 5. Their savior complex is massive
- 1.6 6. They are all-over you
- 1.7 7. They are allergic to boundaries
- 1.8 8. They want to be the best you ever had
- 1.9 9. Being expressive isn’t a problem
- 1.10 10. They are all about showmanship
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
What Are The Signs Of Love Bombing?
1. They say exactly what you want to hear
It's all fun and games when you meet someone until they end up being a narcissistic pile of human refuse. And if you are not yet familiar with narcissistic personality traits, doing so will help you spot lover bombers in no time.
One of the ways this type of person reels you in the relationship is by whispering sweet nothings. They want you under their power so much that they will tell you exactly what they need to say to make you feel loved.
You see, if they’re also after love and attention, they’ll equally get the attention they need to thrive. So, if you notice that he never says anything wrong, you better take a closer look at your relationship.
2. The grand gestures keep rolling in
With a love bomber, it's never anything short of an 80’s romantic movie. You’ll wake up one morning to realize that the two of you have never simply hung out. Rather, they keep dazzling you with one surprise after the other. It's even worse if he has the funds to back these gestures.
Before you know it, you’ll be going to France to have French fries and doing a bunch of other exciting activities. The thing is sometimes, a day lounging in your sweats together, having an actual conversation is what you need. But, a love bomber will feel the need to razzle and dazzle you in order to keep you hooked.
3. Your attention is like a drug to them
It's natural to want to pay attention to someone you love; it's something we do in all our cherished relationships. However, the typical love bomber wants you to take it up a notch and shower an unrealistic amount of attention on him. You see, all the attention, gifts and time they’ve made available to you are not for free.
At some point, this person will expect all your attention to be on them. So, let’s say you’re replying to an important text message while you’re together, he’s not going to like that. Even worse, if you dare go a couple of hours without checking in, then you’re going to be on the receiving end of some cold treatment.
4. They move way too fast
Sure, there are people out there who genuinely care about you and can't wait to be closer to you. Nevertheless, the typical love bomber will want to take the relationship from level 1 to 100 overnight. He’s the kind of man that will want to move in after two weeks. He’ll want to meet all your friends and family, heck, he might even pop the big question after a few dates.
All in all, he’ll make you feel like you’re his oxygen when he’s actually trying to fast forward to the point where you are totally dependent on him. So, if you notice that things are kind of moving on the fast track, get your heads out of the clouds for a minute and be observant.
5. Their savior complex is massive
When someone truly loves you they never want you to be in a sticky situation. It's quite the opposite for love bombers, he absolutely thrives in scenarios where you’re down. You see, it's one of those relationships where he’s always looking for avenues to save you. At long last, he’s in a position of control and he can finally show you what an important role he plays in your life.
Even worse, they will constantly remind you of how helpful they were. Of course, they will do this in the slimiest of ways. In fact, if you don’t take a closer look, you won’t realize what it is they are doing.
6. They are all-over you
It’s nice when a person is ready to show everyone that you’re his, admit it, we all like it. When it comes to love bombing, he is ready to do all that and more. He doesn’t mind kissing you in front of your parents.
This man is ready to show everyone that he is into you. At face value, it sounds cute and it’ll probably give you the impression that you are the center of his world. But what this person really wants to do is build a case against you. Once the scales fall off your eyes and you try to break it off, best believe that you’ll look just like a jerk.
7. They are allergic to boundaries
Remember when I mentioned that these people move way too fast? Well, this is an aspect of it; they really don’t like it when you establish boundaries. The moment you point out that things are going too fast, they’ll practice some more of their voodoo. Best believe that this is the type of person that will find a way to make you feel bad if you want to slow down.
They just want to be allowed to spin their webs of manipulation freely. In their opinion, there should be no space between the two of you. Even more, you’re a bad person if you do not accept their affection. If you notice this, then he’s probably love bombing you. Best believe that someone who truly cares for you will respect you a lot more.
8. They want to be the best you ever had
It's all a self-serving mess when it comes to love bombing. Essentially, he tries his best to ensure that you’re practically addicted to him. Let’s face it, it's not that hard for us to get to that point. The reason why he does so much is to ensure that you feel like you couldn’t possibly do better.
No doubt, he’s one of those guys that obsess over your exes and tries his very best to do the opposite of whatever it is they did. He will demean them just so that he can show you he’s a lot better. Taking it even further, he will make you feel like you couldn’t possibly be with anyone else.
9. Being expressive isn’t a problem
This is usually a problem we have with men-folk, but if you’re in a love bombing situation, this may come a bit too easily. They won’t only blurt out the ‘L’ word out of the blue, they will go overboard in terms of being expressive. Note that not all relationships like this are pretentious, there are some men out there that are quite free with their feelings.
Nevertheless, don’t hesitate to sniff around if someone is being a bit too forthcoming. All in all, they really don’t want any space between the two of you. They will be all up in your text message all the time telling you how much they love and adore you.
10. They are all about showmanship
One major way to sniff such a person is by monitoring where and when he gets gushy. Sure, he shows you how much he cares in public, but he’s equally very public with his gestures. Snap out of it, it's not because he’s proud of you and wants everyone to see. He’s doing all this for posterity, he wants to be able to consult his archive of sweet acts when you step out of line.
So, before (or after) you ‘Awww’ when he makes a big show of how into you he is, read in between the lines.
It's a situation where love bombers manipulate their partners using something that can be mistaken for love and affection. At the end of it all, they use their advances to wield some sort of control over their victims. Even more, the relationship ends up benefitting only the culprit and things can get pretty dark.
It’s pretty confusing, to be honest, at the beginning love bombing feels a lot like love. But, there are some tell-tale signs you can use to sniff out the culprits. For one, it's just too perfect, the love bomber practically never slips up. Meanwhile, arguments here and disagreements there are features in a healthy relationship.
Realistically, it cannot last that long because a few months in, the love bomber will probably get bored. Any idealistic views he had of his partner will, in turn, fade away. That point marks the beginning of the end and a period where nothing his partner does is good enough.
For one, there will be a lot of extravagant gifts, sometimes it’ll happen just for the fun of it. You’ll also notice a lot of unsolicited compliments, flattery, constant communication and a lot more. In a nutshell, the relationship will be too good to be true, because it's basically a lie.
It's a popular tactic used to deal with a narcissist or sociopath. Just as the name entails, it involves acting as dull as a gray rock. So, what you’ll do in this case is to become completely emotionally unresponsive. Adopt and aloof outlook for just about everything that involves the narcissist. This cuts them off and once they realize they can’t get their fix from you, they move on.
There are a lot of bad happenings in the world as it is, then you go and bag yourself a love bomber. It sucks, but that’s why you need to keep an eye out and read articles just like this one. In that vein, I hope that you found this very helpful.
Even more, pass it on to that girlfriend of yours or someone else that needs help identifying such shady behavior in a relationship. Also, drop a comment for me below, I’d like to know your take on all this funny business.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.