Love is one of the best feelings you will ever get to experience in the world. It comes into our lives often unexpectedly, and suddenly things change. Were smiling often, finding happiness in the strangest of things, and beaming all around.
With love comes attachment, and this often stems from our connection with the other person. Most often, we feel attached to others in a certain way, because of our feelings and emotions for them.
In some cases, we develop attachments to people we aren't romantically involved with, and such new connections can cause us to fall deeply for them without even realizing it.
However, when the other person doesn't reciprocate our feelings, we find the process of letting go strenuous and almost impossible. What would you do if I told you there's a way to hold lightly onto things you love, to save you the suffering when it's gone?
In this article, we look at ways to overcome being attached to others, and how to enjoy our lives while we let them go.
- 1 11 Tips To Overcome Attachment And Let Go
- 1.1 1. Focus on the attachment itself
- 1.2 2. Accept your present
- 1.3 3. Focus on the effect of your attachment
- 1.4 4. Be fluid in defining yourself
- 1.5 5. Befriend yourself
- 1.6 6. Don't squeeze tightly
- 1.7 7. Don't justify your attachment
- 1.8 8. Keep an open mind
- 1.9 9. Avoid all triggers
- 1.10 10. Record, appreciate, and toss
- 1.11 11. Teach others
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
11 Tips To Overcome Attachment And Let Go
1. Focus on the attachment itself
In order to work towards a state of non-attachment, it is imperative that you focus on attachment in itself. This can be via meditation or any form of introspection. Using introspection as a starting point, meditate on how attachment has wormed its way into your life in many, varying ways. Some of these ways might be very difficult to detect initially.
As you channel your inner tiny buddha, you'll come to the realization that all the material things that you have attached emotions to, aren't your sole route to happiness. They are in actual fact, causing you pain and a lot of negative emotions.
2. Accept your present
As we say most often now, it is what it is. The next step after meditating on the essence of attachments is to accept this very moment for what it is. Acknowledge the true nature of your present, instead of trying to turn it into your yesterday. As much as you can, fight the urge to make this moment last forever, by doing or saying something to your partner.
As much as possible, will your mind and body into simply being. Enjoy the feeling of hope that comes with living in the moment, and accept that everything that exists will eventually pass. Nothing is permanent and as such, what you're feeling might change as time goes on and that's okay too.
3. Focus on the effect of your attachment
You've looked at all the things you hold on to, and you've absorbed your present moment for what it is. The next thing to do if you're seeking to move on is to meditate on what this specific attachment did to you.
What caused this attachment? What were you hoping to gain from associating with this person or thing? As you ponder, you might come to the realization that these attachments were ideas, as opposed to being the thing themselves. After this exercise, you will begin to fully understand how best you can break free.
4. Be fluid in defining yourself
And this has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. One other way to experience less pain after saying goodbye to a loved one or item is by simply redefining yourself. Humans, or living things in general, are characterized by change; by growth.
Every day we evolve and grow thus, it is best to define yourself in a manner that you can withstand all the changes that come with growth.
The best way to do this vis non-attachment is to avoid defining yourself by your roles, possessions, and even your relationships. In doing so, you don't lose who you are as soon as any of these things are no more.
5. Befriend yourself
I know everyone is ranting about self-love, and it's become some sort of cliche, but it is true; being friends with yourself is magical. Think of yourself as your only best friend and as such, rely on yourself for all the happiness you need.
When you give others the power to determine your happiness, it is harder to let them go because when that connection is lost, so is your happiness.
Practice giving yourself a pep talk every day, telling yourself how amazing you are. Go on solo dates and love yourself hard. Then and only then will you have the power and will to relate to people without any expectations.
6. Don't squeeze tightly
For this point, we focus not only on letting things go but also on maintaining healthy rapport with people who mean a lot to you. We've all watched romantic comedies and all the romantic Disney cartoons where the term ‘other half’ is mentioned repeatedly. Real talk alert; you're nobody's other half.
You are separate and a whole human and don't forget that. This doesn't mean don't hold a person close to your heart but rather, tread lightly and avoid squeezing them too tight to your chest. Your fingers might hurt, or they'll suffocate, and that will really hurt. s
7. Don't justify your attachment
You were in love with this person, and having to end things can be extremely painful. One thing you can do to make the blow less excruciating is to avoid justifying the reason you don't want to say goodbye.
It is natural to feel as though you'll die with them gone, or that you'll be the most miserable person on the planet if they're not in your life. The truth, however, is that these thoughts are wrong. They are simply reinforcing beliefs, not factual information. Reset your mind, and think of yourself as strong enough to overcome this period in your life.
8. Keep an open mind
After clinging on for so long to a picture of your future you'd imagined, it can be tough to welcome in new thoughts. Focus on training your mind and heart to open up again. The only reason why your mind and heart are still clinging to situations, people, and things is that you're comfortable with them, and know what to expect from them.
Practice trying new places, things, and even meeting new people, no matter how much you might hate the idea. Think about all these new things that may affect you in the same way as your old connections. If you're not sure what to expect with anything new, that's even more reason to go out there and explore.
9. Avoid all triggers
If there's anything in your apartment that reminds you of something, evokes a certain emotion within you, or makes you think about the past, get rid of it. It could be a photo of your ex, or his tie, or a souvenir from your couples trip last summer; throw it away or put it in storage, away from your eyes.
When you have elements that make you feel good, they're great things to keep. However, anything that evokes a negative feeling from your heart is not worth storing. There are some triggers that can't just be removed, like friends or family of your ex who has become your family. In such instances, the best you can do is have set boundaries that help guard your heart.
10. Record, appreciate, and toss
When we speak about the art of letting go, we need to mention that it is a continuous process. You might be fine one day, and wake up another day feeling like you're almost on the verge of death. This is normal; we were human and were allowed to feel every once in a while.
Whenever you feel your emotions escalating, be sure to vocalize your feelings, or simply, write them down. It can be in your journal as a daily entry or in the form of a letter that you'll never send.
After writing that letter, allow yourself to appreciate that little act of release. Understand that this dark period is only temporary and is around to teach you something about life. Next, you can toss out whatever it is you wrote. You can burn the letter you wrote, or dissolve it in water; whatever works for you.
11. Teach others
Another way to release your feelings of attachment is to tell others about how you're overcoming yours. Sharing your experience or journey with others either in a blog, video, or on social media platforms is a great way for you to open up without much commitment.
Your experience will end up being a guidebook for someone in the coming years, and even without knowing, your work will become someone's positive trigger to living a better life.
The best part is that, you don't have to teach only when you're totally fine, you can teach while you heal, coming back to give lessons and corrections of lessons as you grow and evolve. It's a never-ending journey, but many will be grateful for some guidance.
Humans love creating attachments to things, people, and even places. This typically happens because we attach ourselves to our worries about the future. our mind is constantly trying not to think about the present, and instead, harbors negative thoughts about the things that could possibly happen moving forward.
The art of letting go involves changing our mindset whenever we notice attachments, by making a conscious choice to live in the present moment.
The best way to let go of an attachment to your ex is to spend time creating a happy life for yourself. Finding love within yourself allows you to feel comfortable with being alone and not lonely. Also, allow yourself to grieve, even when you don't think it is necessary. It'll surprise you just how much you have bottled inside you, whenever you're feeling sad.
Lastly, recognize that though that relationship is in the past now, you will find someone who will love you, and your heart will learn to open up once more to a beautiful, intimate relationship.
Letting go without attachment is an art many of us haven't perfected, but if we did, will do us a great deal of good. Creating and nurturing relationships in a non-attachment way is great because it prevents you from deep emotional attachments.
When you let go without attachments, it means you enjoyed the moment for what it was, while it lasted. You realised that nothing is permanent, and this will allow you to show gratitude for what was a happy relationship while it lasted.
Attachment to another person is a good start for every relationship. When you're emotionally attached to someone, it means you are able to share your feelings with the person, and you love spending time with them, whether you feel happy or feel sad.
Some signs of emotional attachment include experiencing more joy when you are near the person, always sending messages to them, hardly having disagreements with them, and many more.
Sometimes we build strong emotional attachments to people we were in a relationship with, and it can come off as unhealthy to many. Excessive attachment can be detrimental to you as an individual, especially in the event that things don't turn out great between both of you.
Some signs of an unhealthy attachment include relying on them for your well-being, forgetting all your other relationships with friends and family, and refusing to entertain the idea that things might change.
We're always going to feel the need to be attached to another person, and we’ll always feel like losers when that attachment needs to come to an end. No matter what, we need to know that our past stories don't determine our whole life, and that love will always find us, once we stay open to the idea.
We hope you found this article helpful, and if you did, be sure to share it with friends or family who might be suffering from being emotionally attached. You'll be glad you did.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.