It's widely known that relationships have their ups and downs and everyone has their own way of dealing with the occasional conflict. Some people deal with their relationship issues by crying, yelling, or being quiet for a period of time. A few others prefer to vent, however, depending on who you vent to, venting can have dire effects on a relationship.
Getting someone else (who isn't a professional) involved in your relationship issues could leave your relationship at the mercy of other people's opinions—people who shouldn't have a say in your relationship under normal circumstances. If your significant other happens to prefer keeping your relationship private, don't fret, maybe it's for the best.
If you're convinced and would like to help your partner reserve the juicy details of your relationship, these are 11 ways to keep your relationship discrete.
- 0.1 11 Ways To Keep Your Relationship Private
- 0.1.1 1.Avoid gloating on social media
- 0.1.2 2.Be private, not secretive
- 0.1.3 3.Let only close family members know about you both
- 0.1.4 4.Pick a good time and place to make your first public appearance
- 0.1.5 5.Pick the places you visit together
- 0.1.6 6.Don't leak out intimate details of your relationship
- 0.1.7 7.Consider making your social media accounts private.
- 0.1.8 8.Don't make birthdays and other celebrations public
- 0.1.9 9.Try to enjoy having a relationship devoid of the public eye
- 0.1.10 10.Don't discuss some things with friends
- 0.1.11 11.Take advice from only relationship therapists, mentors, or relationship coaches.
- 0.2 FAQs
- 0.3 To Sum Up
11 Ways To Keep Your Relationship Private
Social media is our medium of connection to the entire world, just one post is able to reach millions of people in just milliseconds. It's understandably tempting to want to show off your shiny new relationship online, or perhaps even rub it in the face of your ‘haters’.
There are benefits to going public with your new romance, most couples get attention and admiration from their online friends but there are two sides to that coin.
When you place anything in the public space, anyone can form and share their opinions about it. Your love life is not an exception and no matter how mentally strong you both feel you are, you may always find yourself under pressure to avoid negative comments from people and to live up to their expectations of what they feel you should be.
2.Be private, not secretive
There’s a difference between keeping your relationship private does not mean keeping it a secret, this is one thing lots of couples don’t understand. Going out of your way to hide your significant other from the people around you or hiding the fact that you're with someone at all, is secrecy. You don't need to sneak around.
Keeping details about your relationship on the down-low does not require keeping it a secret, you just need to be careful about the information you share about your love life online and to the people around you. Don't go out of your way to avoid mentioning your partner or lie that you're single, dating isn't illegal so there's no need to practice such secrecy.
3.Let only close family members know about you both
Don't let everyone, especially people who aren't in your close circle, know about both of you. This isn’t necessarily secrecy either. If anyone outside your close circle must know about you and your partner, it should be just a few shallow details.
Not introducing your significant other to your family and close friends would be a bit weird and kind of irresponsible, because you need your significant other to become a part of your inner circle depending on how serious you both are. Your social media friends, distant friends, and family can find out more as time goes on; perhaps when you both decide to be fully committed. Choose discretion over secrecy.
4.Pick a good time and place to make your first public appearance
They say that first impressions are very important, which is quite true. People judge you mainly based on their first experience with you. Controlling the information that circulates about your relationship and your significant other is a way to ensure your privacy. Pick the best and most comfortable time to make your first public appearance together.
This isn't just for celebrities, you and your darling deserve to have a peaceful and exclusive relationship too; it's an unspoken way of introducing your relationship to the people around you. You can choose to do so at a special family gathering like Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner or a small meetup with your friends.
5.Pick the places you visit together
Depending on how many people you're comfortable being open to about your relationship, you and your partner should be selective about the places you meet up for dates, hang-outs, or just a romantic evening under the stars. Pick a general, public place (like a mall) where you're sure is filled with strangers who do not know you and aren't invested in your personal lives.
That way, you can maintain your privacy even in public spaces. Avoid showing up at gatherings concentrated with people who know either you or your partner, especially those who aren't your immediate loved ones like family and close friends. This way, you can avoid assumptions being made about your love life or even worse, gossip.
6.Don't leak out intimate details of your relationship
It's tempting to talk about your relationship to whoever may be willing to listen, especially when you're in that new and fresh stage of your relationship where you are still so in love. However, this is the stage where you need to be very mindful of the things you share about your love affair and your partner.
It's okay when your significant other or an experience you had with your partner slips into a conversation with a coworker, there's no harm there. However, your privacy will be jeopardized when you start sharing unnecessarily detailed information like reasons and your spouse’s fight, your partner's weaknesses, and perhaps insecurities, etc. Keep the conversations light.
There comes a stage in everybody's life where you require fewer people around you; a smaller circle of friends and acquaintances. This way, only close friends and family get to know them inside the scope of your life. To achieve this, perhaps, you could consider making your social media pages accessible only to people who are close to you.
Thank goodness for the privacy settings on social media, you can tailor your page to the degree of privacy you prefer. It's advisable to accept follow or friend requests from only people you're comfortable sharing your life with. That way, you can share a few photos of yourself and your partner without having to worry about outside opinions.
8.Don't make birthdays and other celebrations public
Celebrating bae will also bring you joy. In fact, that's one of the spices of a relationship, having someone to celebrate those good days with. However, you've got to be careful how you do it when you're trying to keep your romance on the low. Perhaps, it would be best if you didn't share photos and stories from your significant other's big day.
If you really would like to share things on social media, consider using privacy settings that allow you to share those details with only close friends. This includes celebrations like Valentine's Day where most couples post how they spent their day or what they got for their significant other. Don't fall into the temptation to join the crowd. The day is special whether you share it or not.
9.Try to enjoy having a relationship devoid of the public eye
Most people have become addicted to the approval and validation of others. They carry this same mentality into their relationships.
Also, they never seem to be happy unless people are around to see what happens between them and their partners. They love the admiration they get from people, the attention, the envy that builds up when other women see how well their man treats them and even the drama they get from ‘haters'.
Without all this fuss around them and their affairs, they feel irrelevant and empty. Try not to be in this category and try being satisfied with just you and your partner and no outside influence. You don't need the attention and validation from others to be happy in your private life.
10.Don't discuss some things with friends
As a woman, it can be tempting to share juicy details about your love affair with your girlfriends. “See what bae gave me”, or “we had such a fun time between the sheets last night”, makes for good conversation. The admiration and envy you get from your friends may also give you a rush. But remember, there's always a negative side to sharing details about your romance.
You're leaving your affairs at the mercy of their opinions and inputs, which is quite dangerous. There's also the risk of having some competitive or greedy women who may want to try becoming your man's new center of attention and have him shower them with gifts and treat them right too. So, try to resist the temptation to share things with your friends.
11.Take advice from only relationship therapists, mentors, or relationship coaches.
If you must share the challenges you face in your romantic life or the problems you're having with your partner, do so with a professional. For some people, their spiritual leaders are their relationship with therapists.
For others, it's an older person in their family. Whoever your marriage or relationship coach is, try keeping details about your issues between you, your spouse, and your coach. Don't try turning your friends into your therapists. The reason being; they may not be able to give you useful advice. If you must get help, let it be professional help.
Keeping your relationship private is arguably a better choice for you and your spouse. Having romance that's hidden from the public eye would lift the pressure of living under the false approval of social media. Every day, you choose to be with your partner would be on your terms, it would be because you choose him and not because you feel you need to impress anyone.
Not every guy who insists on privacy winds up being a cheater, some men just prefer to get to know the real you without any outside influence. It also depends on his personality, he may not really like any of his business to be out in the open for everyone to see.
Secret relationships work. In fact, they last relatively longer than relationships that exist in the open. Apart from longevity, the quality is assumed to be better since both parties involved have no third-party expectations to live up to.
Relationships should be built on trust and honesty. If your partner seems to be hiding things from you, there may be something going wrong. The fact that he's afraid to open up to you means he's afraid of your reaction. Retaining information is a defensive or protective action.
When a guy decides to hide his girlfriend, it doesn't necessarily mean he's ashamed of her or cheating on her. That may be the case on a few occasions, however, there are exceptions. Some guys hide their girlfriends as a way to mask their emotional side from their male friends.
To Sum Up
I hope you found this article helpful. Remember, the general public isn’t very kind when it comes to scrutinizing the details of a people’s affairs. Your love affairs are your personal business not everyone should be involved in them. Please let us know what you think about this topic in the section below and be sure to share the article.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.