A man who loves and cares for you will look after you and do everything he can to make you happy. If he loves you, he will always be there for you, both in good times and in bad.
He will always be completely open and honest with you. He will ensure that give and take are balanced in your relationship. He will want to be part of your life and spend time with you.
A man who loves you will care about how you feel when you are with him. He won’t use you or cheat on you and he will never want to lose you. We all know this feeling: you are both newly in love and in heaven together, but suddenly he withdraws. You see each other less, he doesn't answer as often and he seems to put little effort into your future together.
In a moment you don't seem to be important to him anymore, the next day he comes over and wants to spend the evening with you. He doesn't respond to all your worries and questions about his behavior. Maybe he's not that serious about you anymore. Keep reading to find out if he is using you and what you can do about it is he is.
These signs tell you whether he's just taking advantage of you in your relationship.
- 1 Is He Using Me?
- 1.1 1. He Doesn't Make An Effort With You
- 1.2 2. He Is Not Interested In Your Life
- 1.3 3. He Is Not There For You
- 1.4 4. He May Not Care About Your Feelings
- 1.5 5. He Is Unfaithful To You
- 1.6 6. He Doesn't Introduce You To His Friends And Family
- 1.7 7. Your Friends Are Already Worried About Your Relationship With Him
- 1.8 8. He’s Too Busy To Spend Time With You
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Up…
Is He Using Me?
A man who only uses will play mind games with you for his own needs and he may even try to weaken your self-esteem in order to manipulate you further. You don't have to be with a man who doesn't want to get involved with you and doesn't take care of you. A man who is not really interested in you does not deserve you. If he treats you in this way, walk away.
He may come when he needs something or when he is bored. If you want to spend time with him, he may tell you that he is too busy. He might write you a spontaneous message asking to see you when he has nothing better to do because he knows that you are available. He knows that you will leave everything behind so that you can finally spend time with him again.
There is no point in wasting your time wondering what his reason is for treating you like this. Whatever it is, he doesn't want you and will likely never give you what you deserve. Know that you deserve more than this and move on from him.
1. He Doesn't Make An Effort With You
In the beginning, he might do everything for you until he knows that he has you. After that, his efforts to make you happy lessen and he no longer does nice things for you. He becomes grumpy, moody and is less and less interested in you and hardly spends time with you anymore. He doesn’t put any effort into the relationship and leaves it up to you to make it comfortable for him.
Sometimes he's in love with you and sometimes he just doesn't want to talk to you. If his mood is constantly changing, remember that it is a warning sign and a red flag. He only expresses his love when he needs something from you or when he needs you to do something for him. He is always guided by his own feelings and doesn't care about your feelings or needs.
He makes empty promises and avoids taking responsibility with you. He promises to take care of certain things, to go on holiday with you, get to know your family, pay you back the money you lent him, but he never does. He will never be available to support you in an emergency or when you need someone most, you know that you cannot rely on him.
2. He Is Not Interested In Your Life
Perhaps you've been together for a while and yet he keeps making up excuses why he doesn't have time to get to know your family or friends. The truth is that he has no interest in them or your life. Every now and then he may agree but then gets an important appointment that he has to keep, so he has to cancel. He just doesn’t care.
You may have realized that he doesn't really try to get to know you. He doesn't ask about your childhood, your past relationships, or the name of your roommate? If this is the case, you can be sure that he is not serious. The same applies if he does not listen to you when you are talking or does not even remember your birthday.
3. He Is Not There For You
He may not care if you cry. No matter how sad you are feeling, he makes himself scarce and does not feel responsible. If you need him, he has no time for you. If you cry, he ignores you. You always stand up for him and care for him, but he doesn’t do the same for you. His work, friends, and free time are more important to him than you.
Your needs are not important to him. Do you regularly plan activities with him for the weekend, but he just doesn't show up? Or he wants to go to that restaurant even though he knows you hate it? Then it is time to walk away from this guy. He is not interested in you, your views, or preferences and that will probably never change.
He takes advantage of you but he never gives anything in return. He will take whatever you have to offer him in terms of time, emotions, money, or skills and use it for his own good. In return, he will not give you anything back and he is never there for you like you care for him. This is one of the signs he’s using you.
4. He May Not Care About Your Feelings
One of the signs he’s using you is that he may not care about your feelings. He has no problems showing his own feelings, but when you want to know what he feels for you or how he feels about serious issues in his life, he will shut down and refuse to let you get closer to him. He may not care about your feelings either.
He makes everything about himself and always bring every conversation back to his own issues. If you feel like he may not care about your feelings, he probably doesn’t. If you don't know what he feels for you because he keeps you standing in dark, he doesn’t see that as his problem and he doesn’t care that you are feeling lost.
He always thinks of himself and doesn't care if you are saddened by his behavior. If you try to show your feelings, he will respond by making you feel that you shouldn't show him this side of you in the future. He will always contact you if he needs help, be it personal or financial. If that is the single reason he calls you, it definitely means that he is only using you.
5. He Is Unfaithful To You
You know that he has been unfaithful to you or you have deep suspicions that he is seeing someone else at the same time as seeing you. He doesn't feel guilty about it at all and he doesn’t care if it hurts or upsets you either. You are just not important enough for him to be loyal to you. When he comes to you after seeing her, he can behave normally.
If someone is using you then he may do things like see other women at the same time but still string you along anyway. This is one of the warning signs and one of the signs he’s using you. If you feel like he isn’t faithful to you, then he is likely using you and you might want to walk away. Have respect for yourself and your love life and find a guy that treats you better than a booty call.
6. He Doesn't Introduce You To His Friends And Family
After a few months of dating, it usually happens on its own, and the guy you are seeing will make sure that you are getting to know his family and friends. He will want to get you integrated into his family and ensure that you feel comfortable with them. One of the signs that he is using you is that you haven’t yet met one member of his family.
You take him to one of your friend’s parties or you have invited him to lunch with your parents. If he has never introduced you to his family, you don't know his parents or friends, then he likely doesn’t see you as an important part of his life and maybe using you. In this case, your relationship has no future and it is time to walk away from this guy if you feel like this.
He is not committed to you and will likely never commit to anything serious. He is only in a relationship with you for the good things but he doesn’t want to take any responsibility. So there is no reason for him to introduce you to his friends and family as he doesn’t see it going anywhere anyway.
7. Your Friends Are Already Worried About Your Relationship With Him
When your friends start to worry about you and tell you that you have changed in the relationship, it is time to think carefully about your situation and whether this guy is right for you. There's just no point in holding onto a man who's not good for you. Your friends know when you are completely blind with love. They know what is best for you.
If your friends tell you he isn’t a good man then it is likely that he is not good for you. When you're in love with someone, your own thoughts and mind can fail. You ignore all of his mistakes, but your family and friends see them. They are the closest people to you, so if they keep telling you that this guy is not a good person, you should hear them.
8. He’s Too Busy To Spend Time With You
We are all busy, but a relationship needs to be cherished and nurtured. No matter how busy we are, we can always find some time for our loved ones. If he is too busy to spend time with you, he is likely using you.
If you want to know whether a guy is playing with you and you are wondering: “has he used me” then consider whether he has introduced you to his friends and family yet. If he hasn’t introduced you to those closest to him then he likely doesn’t see your relationship going anywhere and he is probably using you. It is time to walk away from this guy.
If a guy doesn’t make an effort in your relationship, he only takes from you and uses you then he is bad for you. If a guy likes you he will let you know how he feels and he will make you feel loved and cared for. If he doesn’t even reply to your text message and he leaves you feeling hurt, then he is bad for you.
If you want to know if your guy is cheating on you then it is important to pay attention to his recent behavior and whether he has been acting differently lately. Ensure that you know for sure that he is being unfaithful as false accusations could lead to the end of your relationship for good.
If you have broken up recently with someone that you truly loved, it is important to remember the reasons that led to the breakup. If he wasn’t good for you, it is important to remind yourself of that fact. Give yourself time, keep yourself busy, and allow yourself to grieve the loss of your relationship.
Red flags in a relationship include that he doesn’t care about your feelings, he ignored you when you are sad, he constantly cancels on you when you have made plans and he uses and manipulates you for his own good. In this case, you should walk away from this guy.
To Sum Up…
If you are wondering whether you are being used in a relationship, it is likely that you are. If your guy doesn’t respond to your messages and he only sees you when it suits him then he may be using you. If he makes no effort to make you happy but takes everything that he can from you then it is likely that he is using you and it is time to leave him.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.