There are way too many stories about a man being in two relationships for years for any of us to feel comfortable overlooking what might be red flags. As soon as we see shady behavior, we’re pretty quick to start looking up the possible signs that he’s seeing someone else.
The thing is, I think that’s a great thing unless your goal is to be a side chick. The rest of us want to be his one and only. Some men don’t see it that way, however. The more women that they can string along, the happier they seem to be. These players are still stuck in the childish mindset that they are the man if they have more than one girlfriend.
Even worse are the ones that think cheating is fine. If you’re in a relationship with a man for years, it can be heartbreaking to discover that there is someone else. However, it’s better to know sooner rather than later.
- 1 25 Signs He’s Seeing Someone Else
- 1.1 1. He doesn’t want you on his social media
- 1.2 2. His phone suddenly has a password
- 1.3 3. He takes his phone everywhere with him
- 1.4 4. He doesn’t take phone calls in front of you
- 1.5 5. There are dating apps on his home screen
- 1.6 6. He suddenly has plenty of new commitments
- 1.7 7. According to his dating profile, he’s single
- 1.8 8. His new friend is much more involved in his life now
- 1.9 9. He cancels plans last minute
- 1.10 10. He pays less attention to you
- 1.11 11. Dating other people came up in conversation
- 1.12 12. He’s changed communication methods
- 1.13 13. A new name pops up
- 1.14 14. Time with you is spent on his phone
- 1.15 15. Little eye contact
- 1.16 16. Checking out another woman is one of the big signs
- 1.17 17. He doesn’t talk about the future
- 1.18 18. You’re never around his guy friends
- 1.19 19. Other people are on his Snap, but not you
- 1.20 20. He never comments your name
- 1.21 21. His female friend acts awkward around you
- 1.22 22. He makes plans with you last minute
- 1.23 23. He won’t commit to the relationship
- 1.24 24. He avoids certain locations
- 1.25 25. You have all the signs of a dead relationship
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
25 Signs He’s Seeing Someone Else
If you’re wondering what the red flags are for cheating, you’ve just found them. The more of these that you notice in the relationship, the more likely it is that there is another woman. Some of these are more applicable to those that just started dating while others will tell you if your husband is more than likely having an affair.
A player isn’t going to tell you that he doesn’t want you to see the other girls or his girlfriend on social media. Instead, he’ll say something like “I don’t really enjoy Facebook” or “Facebook is lame anyway.” You might also hear that he’d rather keep things private in the beginning. Either way, you’re not friends or followers of each other except when you’re in private.
2. His phone suddenly has a password
If you used to have all access to his phone, but now you need his fingerprint to get in, it doesn’t get more obvious than that. He’s definitely hiding something.
3. He takes his phone everywhere with him
Maybe he didn’t suddenly put a password on his phone, but it’s never left laying around. Suddenly, your man is taking it to the bathroom with him. Every time he gets up he makes sure that it’s in his pocket. He does it enough that you can’t help but notice.
Some guys are like this with their phones. However, if it is a sudden change in behavior, that’s suspicious.
4. He doesn’t take phone calls in front of you
If he’s talking to someone in particular, as in his ex-girlfriend, he won’t make those phone calls in front of you. He might simply walk out of the room when he answers the phone. Most guys will even have reasons for this behavior, such as he doesn’t want you to get jealous.
When you think about that, you wouldn’t have a reason to be jealous if they are just friends. He wouldn’t be acting a particular way at all. Instead, it would just be a normal conversation.
5. There are dating apps on his home screen
If you do get a peek at his tablet or phone, you notice there are dating apps. Why would a man have something for dating if he’s already dating you?
6. He suddenly has plenty of new commitments
Your date night has been replaced by a night with the boys because that’s the only time his boy Jeff can get out. There are work commitments. He’s suddenly picked up a new hobby, and you can’t come. In fact, there are so many new commitments it makes you wonder if you’re still dating the guy or not. He’s slowly putting distance between the two of you because he’s seeing another female.
7. According to his dating profile, he’s single
There’s no reason he should even have a dating profile if he’s committed. At the very least, he could be honest on it. However, he clearly stated he was single. He’s on the hunt for your replacement or a new side chick.
8. His new friend is much more involved in his life now
It starts innocently enough. He had a friend, and it was one of the opposite sex. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, now he’s spending more and more time with that friend. That’s a sign that he’s into her, or that he’s interested in seeing other people.
9. He cancels plans last minute
If you had plans to see each other, but he’s suddenly canceling them it’s a red flag. This is bound to happen to someone every once in a while. We’re all adults, and sometimes things come up.
However, the guy that is dating another woman will put you in this situation again and again. He’s canceling because he can’t get out of the house and he lives with her, or because she wants to spend time with him. You deserve better.
10. He pays less attention to you
Those daily text messages are slowly drifting further and further apart. He doesn’t call you pet names anymore. This is because he’s slowly losing interest, and might be putting forth more effort with another girl. Remember the saying that when his conversations get shorter with you, they get longer with someone else.
11. Dating other people came up in conversation
It doesn’t get much more obvious than him stating that he would be fine with the two of you dating other people as well. He could even say that until you have the conversation that you’re not seeing anyone else, it’s perfectly acceptable to date multiple people.
This happens a lot because so many people view dating differently. Some men and women view it as acceptable to date multiple people until you both decide that you are not going to anymore. Others feel that you should be monogamous in the early talking stages. Making sure that you have a conversation about this early on can help you avoid misunderstandings.
12. He’s changed communication methods
Instead of talking on the phone, which you used to do every night, now he’d rather text. He just doesn’t see the point in talking on the phone. Maybe he claims he doesn’t like talking on the phone in front of the guys he is with. It could be that he’s in front of a girl, and doesn’t want her to know about you.
13. A new name pops up
If you see the signs he’s seeing someone else, and then you notice a new name, email, or phone number, that’s suspect. The woman behind the name, email, etc. could be the other person that he’s showing interest in. Take it a step further and ask him. If he gets defensive, that’s one of the signs that he’s hiding something.
14. Time with you is spent on his phone
When this guy does have time to meet up for dinner, he’s always on his phone. Whoever he’s texting manages to text back at lightning speed. This is one of the signs that he’s seeing someone else. More than likely, he’s texting a woman he’s in a relationship with.
It’s an even bigger sign that there’s might be a second woman if he can barely respond to your text messages, but he’s constantly texting. Obviously, he’s always available for someone. That someone doesn’t happen to be you, though.
15. Little eye contact
When a person is hiding something, you can pick up on it through their body language. One of the main signs that he’s up to no good is that he has a hard time looking you in the eye. If he can’t open up to you or be vulnerable by having eye contact, there’s a reason for that.
Other body languages to watch out for includes:
- Crossing his arms
- Looking away when answering a question
- Nervous behavior
- Clenched jaw
These are signs that he’s hiding something, is nervous about something, or he’s feeling defensive. Look at his body language when you’re with him and you will find out more than you can with words.
16. Checking out another woman is one of the big signs
He has no problem blatantly disrespecting you to check out the great butt of the server when she walks away. When a girl passes by, he’ll stop mid-sentence to appreciate her physique. This is not only rude, it’s one of the more obvious signs that he doesn’t have a problem seeing someone else.
17. He doesn’t talk about the future
When a man stops talking about the future in relationships, it could be because he doesn’t see a future together anymore. This is one of the signs that the relationship is coming to an end, or that he’s seeing someone else. If he doesn’t see a future with you, it could easily be because he started dating someone else and sees a future with them.
Keep in mind that this is in situations that involve a behavior change. If your guy has never mentioned taking vacations together a year from now, it doesn’t mean that he’s seeing someone else. This applies to men that used to mention doing something with you, but have suddenly stopped doing that.
18. You’re never around his guy friends
When a guy is seeing someone else behind your back, he might not want you around his guy friends. It can be risky. One might feel bad for you and break the news to you. Or, they might not remember that you’re not okay with him seeing someone else and mentioning her name.
Worse yet, they could assume the two of you are not in a relationship because he’s with her so much. It’s all bad news for him.
19. Other people are on his Snap, but not you
When he goes out with a friend that’s a girl, his story is packed with pictures. A night out with the guy’s friends includes at least a few pictures. A week-long getaway with you somehow includes pictures of the sunset and none with you in it. If your man is hiding you, it’s one of the signs he’s seeing someone else.
20. He never comments your name
When a person posts pictures and comments a person’s name, everyone on their social media account can, and usually does, see it. You notice that he’ll comment name after name, but yours is never one of them. This is one of the signs that he’s seeing someone else.
The little things that he does like this are ways that he hides you from the rest of the world. He might make excuses, such as he didn’t think of it. Other common excuses could be to turn the argument back to you, such as asking why you care so much about social media.
Either way, you can’t deny that he’s hiding you. When a guy insists on being in a secret relationship with a girl that he’s dating, there is always a reason. Usually, it’s because it’s one of the signs that he’s seeing someone else or in another relationship entirely.
21. His female friend acts awkward around you
If he’s in a committed relationship with you, spends a lot of time with this girl, and acts weird around you, that’s one of the signs that she might know about your relationship, and she could be his side chick. Just like your friends should be okay with him, his friends should be okay with you. This includes friends of the opposite sex.
22. He makes plans with you last minute
Just like he’s quick to cancel plans last minute, he’ll also make them last minute. This is a big sign that he’s seeing someone else. Instead of making plans and sticking to them, he’s simply calling you when he can manage to get away from his other relationship for a little bit. A responsible adult will be able to schedule things in advance, such as going to see a movie.
23. He won’t commit to the relationship
We’ve all heard the lame excuses before. “A bond is more important than a title.” Perhaps he blows it off, stating that you know he loves you. Whatever the case, one of the signs he’s seeing another person is that he won’t commit to you. Instead, he’ll continue to come up with one thing after another, stringing you along as long as he possibly can.
24. He avoids certain locations
When the two of you get together, it’s always out of town. Getting together in town involves avoiding a certain area or specific locations. Mentioning going there results in him suggesting somewhere else. When you start to notice this, watch for other signs he’s seeing another person.
He could be avoiding places that he knows that she goes to so that the two of you will not run into each other. Another possibility is that he’s avoiding places where his friends hang out because he doesn’t want them to know that he’s in a relationship with you. Neither of those is good signs.
25. You have all the signs of a dead relationship
This could be because the relationship is already dead to him. Whatever the cause, a man that is cheating or seeing someone else can exhibit the same signs as a guy that is no longer invested in the relationship, or person, at all.
Communication is either full of irritability or non-existent. Even when you’re dating, there should be healthy communication. This effective communication is what helps build a solid foundation for a future together. When a person isn’t invested, they aren’t interested in building that foundation with you anymore.
Problem-solving does not happen. Instead, they point fingers at you. They refuse to work through things together. When something bothers you, they simply don’t care.
Attention will be at an all-time low. This doesn’t just mean that they don’t text as often. They don’t speak to you or reach out to you as often as at all. Physical affection slowly begins to head to the backseat, too. You can feel them slowly pulling away, bit by bit.
Eventually, them canceling at the last minute will begin to turn into them not making plans at all. You see them less and less, and it slowly starts to be on their schedule regardless of how often you try to see them.
He avoids using names. This is because he doesn’t want to call one of you by the wrong name. Plans get canceled at the last possible minute. Dates involve him being glued to his phone. He refuses to stop using a dating app. He won’t commit to future plans with you, or to be in a relationship with you.
Sure you can, but make sure that you’re ready for the answer. Some men will blatantly tell you that the two of you are not in a monogamous relationship and that they don’t see a problem with having another female in their life. Others might simply avoid answering, which is all the answers that you need.
Usually, these two terms are used interchangeably. When you are dating someone, it can be referred to as seeing someone. However, some people tend to define seeing someone as being in the talking stage, which is not always monogamous. It’s important to ask the person you’re dating what they think.
You’re exclusive with another person when the two of you make it exclusive. If you’ve been dating for a few months, but have yet to decide that you’re not talking to anyone else, you might not be exclusive. Communication is important to make sure that you’re both on the same page.
He won’t let you see his phone. Suddenly, there’s a password on it. He might guard his phone with his life. Pick it up and watch how he acts. If he jumps or gets really defensive, that’s one of the obvious signs that something else is going on. You can also ask him. Some men are surprisingly honest about this.
When a man is seeing someone else, they always seem to leave bread crumbs that indicate exactly what is going on. Some of them are more obvious than others, but they are always there. How can you tell if a guy is in a relationship with another girl?
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.