You are likely reading this because you are suspicious that your boyfriend might be cheating on you. Has his behavior recently changed? It is vital to figure out whether there is something going on so that you can either move on or stop worrying.
Cheating means different things to different people. Some girls may consider it to be cheating if their boyfriend likes another girl’s photo on Instagram, while others may only consider physical acts as cheating.
Trust is so important in a relationship and it can be impossible to save a relationship after someone cheats. It can be natural to want to ignore the signs.
However, the signs of cheating are quite consistent, no matter what your definition of cheating may be.
- 1 Is He Cheating On Me?
- 1.0.1 1. Social Media
- 1.0.2 2. You don’t hear from him
- 1.0.3 3. He’s always smiling at his phone
- 1.0.4 4. You noticed makeup on his clothes
- 1.0.5 5. He has accused you of cheating
- 1.0.6 6. He suddenly has a password on his phone
- 1.0.7 7. He is being unusually affectionate
- 1.0.8 8. He turns off the location feature on his phone
- 1.0.9 9. He hides his phone
- 1.0.10 10. He no longer wants to sleep in the same bed as you
- 1.0.11 11. He hardly speaks to you
- 1.0.12 12. He’s unusually irritable
- 1.0.13 13. He can’t hold eye contact with you
- 1.0.14 14. You are becoming anxious
- 1.0.15 15. He stops talking about a certain person
- 1.0.16 16. He no longer pays attention to you
- 1.0.17 17. He’s making more of an effort with his appearance
- 1.0.18 18. He’s suddenly really busy with work
- 1.0.19 19. He’s ignoring you
- 1.0.20 20. He avoids being intimate with you
- 1.0.21 21. He is defensive
- 1.0.22 22. He no longer tells you that he loves you
- 1.0.23 23. He is acting differently
- 1.0.24 24. He is giving you more attention than usual
- 1.0.25 25. You have a bad feeling
- 1.0.26 26. He still has his dating profile
- 1.0.27 27. He’s treating you more
- 1.0.28 28. He is asking for more privacy
- 1.0.29 29. He’s being secretive about his money
- 1.0.30 30. He doesn’t tag you
- 1.0.31 31. He’s having a lot of private conversations
- 1.0.32 32. He spends more time on his phone
- 1.1 As A Matter Of Fact…
Is He Cheating On Me?
Here are the signs that your boyfriend could be cheating. Sometimes you just have a gut feeling that something may be wrong, or maybe his actions have totally changed in recent weeks for no apparent reason and you can’t explain it. If you are suspicious that something may be going on behind your back these signs may help you.
Make sure that you have a real reason to worry before you accuse him of cheating. Perhaps his strange demeanor is down to stress at work or any number of other reasons. If he only exhibits one or a few of these signs it does not mean that he is cheating. But if you can tick a lot of these boxes then you may have reason to worry.
You may have been ignoring the signs for a while now, but you know deep down that something is going on. If this is the case, you need to talk to him and find out the truth so that you can either stop worrying unnecessarily or you can move on with your own life without him, and find a new man that you deserve.
1. Social Media
If your boyfriend doesn’t follow you on Instagram, this is a pretty bad sign. But now many apps have features that allow you to create different lists and groups, it may indicate that he is cheating if he doesn’t include you in his lists.
If he is someone that is always on social media– on Facebook, Instagram, etc, and he doesn’t follow you or he never likes your photos, this may be a reason to worry. Or if you have noticed that he is suddenly following another girl and liking and commenting on all of her photos and not yours, something may be going on between them.
However, if this guy is someone that doesn’t spend a lot of time on social media and he doesn’t care about putting up photos on Instagram, the fact that he isn’t putting up photos of you and him, or he isn’t liking your recent photos isn’t a sign that something is going on. You only need to worry if his routine has massively changed for no apparent reason.
2. You don’t hear from him
If your boyfriend takes a long time to respond to your messages for no reason, this may be a sign he is cheating, especially if he is always on his phone and usually responds quickly.
This is especially a cause for concern if he usually always texts you back on his cell phone straight away and always responds to your calls within a few minutes. If he used to call you every day on his way home for work, and he has suddenly stopped this for no apparent reason, you may have a reason to worry.
If he has always acted in this way, and he always preferred to talk to you in person, and still has long conversations with you when he gets home from work, you probably don’t have anything to worry about. If his behavior has completely changed and he has gone from calling you a few times a day to not at all, he may be being unfaithful.
Make sure that you are certain that he is cheating before you accuse him of anything. Perhaps he is really stressed about his family or work and he is finding it difficult to open up and talk about it. If you believe this is the reason why he is calling you less, then you probably have no need to worry.
3. He’s always smiling at his phone
If they get a message from someone, that isn’t you, that makes him smile, it's a sign that someone else is making him happy. If you know that he is just obsessed with funny dog videos then you probably don’t need to worry!
If he is smiling at his phone a lot, and receiving messages from someone that you don’t know, then maybe you have a reason to worry. Especially if he is really secretive about his messages and never tells you why he is smiling at his phone all the time. If he usually shares everything with you, this may be a cause for concern.
4. You noticed makeup on his clothes
If you happen to find makeup or lipstick that you are sure isn’t yours on his clothes, there may be a reason for you to worry. Make sure you are completely sure that it isn’t your so that you don’t wrongly accuse him and ruin your relationship over nothing.
5. He has accused you of cheating
If he often accuses you of cheating on him, this may be a sign of his insecurities and that he is actually the one cheating on you. If he constantly accuses you of cheating, this is one of the signs that he could be being unfaithful.
When men cheat they can often accuse their other halves of cheating as a way to defend themselves to make you feel like you are in the wrong. If he is acting in this way then you may have a reason to worry.
6. He suddenly has a password on his phone
If he suddenly creates a password on his phone, when he didn’t have one before, it's not really a good sign. While he might come up with excuses for doing this, this may be one of the signs he is cheating.
If he used to be really open and shared everything with you, and no longer does this, and has created a new password on his phone that you don’t know, you may have reason to worry about his behavior.
However, if he has always been a really private person, and doesn’t usually share absolutely everything with you, there probably isn’t anything going on that you need to be concerned about. But, if you have a really open and honest relationship, and this seems to be changing, you may need to have a conversation with your partner.
7. He is being unusually affectionate
If your partner has been off with you for a while but suddenly becomes overly affectionate and appreciative of you, this could be a sign that he may be cheating. His affection may be a sign of his guilt.
If he is feeling guilty about being unfaithful to your relationship he may be trying to make himself feel better by being overly affectionate towards you. He also realizes that you are somewhat suspicious and is trying to prove that nothing is going on.
If your partner is usually a really affectionate guy and he always gives you hugs and kisses for no reason, then you have no cause for concern. But if he is suddenly acting very differently and strangely, there may be a reason for this.
8. He turns off the location feature on his phone
If you both usually share your phone location with each other, and he suddenly turns it off for no apparent reason, this could be one of the red flags that he is cheating. If he hasn’t given you a believable reason for doing this, there may be a reason for you to be concerned.
If he is worried about his internet privacy and hacking etc. then this is a completely valid and understandable reason. But if he has turned his location off just for you, then this is an indication that he may be acting unfaithfully. This is especially true if he is vague about his plans and where he is going or if he is out more than usual.
Make sure you have a real reason for concern before you accuse him of cheating as there may be a valid explanation for this, maybe ask him first before you accuse him of anything.
9. He hides his phone
If he used to charge his phone every night beside the bed, but now charges it somewhere else, this could be one of the cheating signs. If he always used to let you use his phone if yours was dead and he no longer lets you, then there may be a reason for worry.
If you have a really open and honest relationship, there should be no need for your partner to hide his phone from you. This is especially true if he never uses his phone when you are around, and immediately puts it away when you enter the room, then you may need to talk to him about this.
If your partner is suddenly acting differently then he may be being unfaithful to your relationship, and you need to figure it out.
10. He no longer wants to sleep in the same bed as you
If he suddenly doesn’t want to sleep in the same bed as you because you snore too much, even though you have snored for a long time, this may be a bad sign. This is never usually a good thing. If your partner suddenly wants to sleep alone, it is likely an indicator that he is being unfaithful to you.
It is not normal for a couple to want to sleep in separate beds unless one of them is really sick or has insomnia etc. If he is committed to his partner, it is unusual that he would want to sleep in a separate room to her.
If this has been happening lately, then you may need to call him out on it and ask for the real reason why this thing has been happening.
11. He hardly speaks to you
If he isn’t speaking to you much, this could be a sign that he is becoming withdrawn from you. If he comes home and immediately goes to bed without talking to you or he no longer talks to you over dinner then you may need to worry.
If this is really unusual for him, and he normally constantly chatting to you, then this may be an indicator of cheating. However, if you know that he is stressed about work or there are other stressful things going on in his life with his friends or his family, this may explain his quietness.
But if he is unusually withdrawn for no apparent reason, you may need to talk to him about this.
12. He’s unusually irritable
If he suddenly starts getting annoyed at you for silly little things, like leaving a glass on the floor, this could be a sign that he may be cheating. If he seems to be annoyed with you all of the time for no apparent reason, he could be hiding things from you.
He might be trying to find some justification for his cheating. His anxiety over cheating may be causing sudden mood swings. If he is happy one second and angry the next this may be one of the signs that he is trying to hide things from you. It will be very hard to avoid mixed emotions from you.
If he is picking fights with you frequently when he is usually a calm person. If he is usually a really happy guy who never really gets annoyed at you, this may be a reason to worry, whether he is cheating or not, he shouldn’t be treating you like this.
If he is unusually stressed about his job or college work or there are things going on with his family, then this may explain his irritable behavior. If this is true, then you need to be understanding and support him. However, if there is no reason for this behavior then you need to talk to him.
13. He can’t hold eye contact with you
If he is unable to look you in the eye, it is probably out of guilt. If he cannot hold eye contact with you when you are having a conversation, he is likely feeling guilty over his actions. Even if he isn’t cheating you need to find out what the reason for this is.
If he is a guy that is never usually good at holding eye contact, then this does not indicate that he may be cheating. This is only true if his behavior has changed and you can’t understand why it has.
14. You are becoming anxious
If you feel yourself becoming extremely anxious or jealous, he may be being unfaithful to you. You can usually trust your gut feeling, and if you are starting to feel uneasy, this may be a sign. If you feel uneasy about your relationship and you feel you can no longer trust him, then you need to talk to him.
Your gut instinct is usually right, and if you are suspicious, then you need to address things before it goes on any longer. You need to be able to totally trust the person you are in a relationship with, and if you can’t then you need to have an honest conversation with him.
15. He stops talking about a certain person
If he used to talk about a certain friend all the time but now hardly mentions their name, this could be a sign he’s cheating. He may feel guilty about talking about this friend now if an affair is going on between the two of them.
Also, if he is constantly talking about a certain person and how great they are, this may be a reason to worry if you are already suspicious that he may be a cheating man. If he never used to talk like this about certain people and now he is, this may indicate that an affair is going on between him and that person.
16. He no longer pays attention to you
This is a hard thing to take. If he fails to notice that you got a new haircut, are wearing a new dress or you have been working out, there may be an affair going on. On the other hand, if he has never been the kind of person to notice things like this, then this doesn’t mean that he is a cheating man.
17. He’s making more of an effort with his appearance
If he has got a new haircut and bought new clothes for no apparent reason, this could be a red flag. If he is suddenly paying more attention to his appearance, this may be a sign.
If he suddenly takes more of an interest in the clothes he picks for himself to wear every morning and cares more than usual about his physical appearance, this may indicate something is going on. If you have been in a relationship for a long time, he is likely not trying to impress you.
Maybe he has suddenly joined a new gym, even though he never used to work out, he could be trying to impress someone else, not you. This is not usual for a guy who has been in a long term relationship for a long time.
If he usually doesn’t really care about his appearance, or what his hair looks like and he has suddenly started to make a real effort with his appearance, this may be a reason to worry. However, maybe he has started a new job and wants to look professional or he wants to get a promotion, these may be the reasons for his change in appearance.
18. He’s suddenly really busy with work
If he suddenly has to travel more than usual for business or has a lot of late nights at work this could be one of the signs that he is seeing someone. If he has recently received a promotion, this is likely not the case. But otherwise, it is a cause for worry.
If he is going out for drinks more often after work, there may be a new girl at work that he wants to spend time with. If he never went out after work before, there may be something wrong. It is also a possibility that he is using the excuse of work to cover up his actions.
If he suddenly has longer working days or he is starting to do more and more overtime at work, there may be a reason for you to believe that he is cheating on you.
19. He’s ignoring you
If, when you are spending time with him and you realize that he is not really listening or paying attention to you– whether you are having dinner together or you are on date night– this may be a signal that he is thinking of another person.
However, if he is normally absent-minded, or you know that he is stressed about work or other things, this is completely normal and nothing to worry about. Just make sure you have a reason to be worry so that you don’t make any false accusations that may unnecessarily insult him or harm your relationship.
20. He avoids being intimate with you
If he is avoiding sex and being intimate with you, there may be an affair going on. Being intimate with you might make him feel as if he is cheating his new partner. He may feel that he cannot be affectionate and intimate with both of you.
Even if he does not love the woman he is cheating with, being intimate with you may make him feel even worse. He probably still cares for you, and being affectionate with you might make his feelings of guilt even worse.
21. He is defensive
If you express doubts to him and he isn’t cheating, he won’t immediately get annoyed. He may be insulted and hurt but he won’t be furious. If he is, he will react badly. You will probably know whether his denial is genuine or not.
22. He no longer tells you that he loves you
The guilt may mean that he is no longer comfortable in showing you affection and telling you that he loves you. If he normally hugs you, holds your hand and tells you he loves you all the time, and he no longer acts like this, this may be one of the signs something is wrong.
He may be involved with another woman and he may feel like he is betraying you and feels guilty. He is trying not to feel worse.
23. He is acting differently
Have his daily habits suddenly changed for no apparent reason? Perhaps he is working later or starting work earlier. Maybe he is working at lunch when he would usually spend it with you. Or maybe he no longer calls you after work as he used to every day. If he suddenly has a new routine, this may be one of the signs that something is up.
24. He is giving you more attention than usual
He may be experiencing extreme feelings of guilt if he is seeing someone new, he may be being extra affectionate to counter these feelings.
He may be buying you more gifts than usual. This behavior may also be a way that he is trying to counter his guilt towards you and he is trying to make himself feel a bit better.
25. You have a bad feeling
If you feel as if something is wrong, pay attention to your gut feeling. You may want to ignore these feelings because you don’t want to accept the truth. You know him better than most people, so you will notice changes in his behavior that may make you suspicious.
26. He still has his dating profile
Most people would take down their dating profile as soon as their new relationship becomes official. If he never did, or if he just reactivated it, maybe he has found his dating profile. A loyal, committed guy won’t have a dating profile during a relationship. This is a clear way to know he might be cheating.
Has he recently downloaded a dating app that he didn’t have on his phone before? This is not how a committed guy usually acts.
27. He’s treating you more
This could be a signal that he is over-compensating for something. If he starts buying you expensive gifts or taking you out for expensive dinners, this could be an indication that he is cheating and trying to act like nothing is going on.
28. He is asking for more privacy
If he is suddenly asking you for more privacy, this behavior may be something to worry about. If his phone always used to be unlocked and he suddenly keeps it locked and always keeps it with him, or if he always used to leave his computer open and now he makes sure it is also locked, this may be one of the signs he’s cheating.
If he used to want to spend time with you as soon as he got home after work, and now he asks for more time alone, this may be one of the signs that something is going on. If you sense that he is not being open and honest, this is something to worry about.
29. He’s being secretive about his money
If he is being secretive about his finances and how he is spending his money and who he is spending it on, this may indicate that he is cheating.
If he used to leave his bank statements lying on the kitchen table and now he suddenly hides them, this may be one of the signs of a cheating man. He may be spending money on a new partner and doesn’t want you to know.
Maybe you have noticed that his spending has changed, maybe he has been paying for expensive dinners or gifts, he will want to make sure that you don’t know. If he is suddenly trying to hide his financial habits, when he used, to be honest about them this is one of the signs that something may be going on.
30. He doesn’t tag you
If he doesn’t tag you in his Instagram photos anymore, he may not want someone else to know that you are in a relationship with him. This may also be true if he suddenly removes photos you are tagged in. If he is only posting photos of himself and doesn’t post any of you, this may be a signal that he’s cheating on you.
31. He’s having a lot of private conversations
If you have noticed him having private phone conversations in the car and not coming inside until the call is over, or if he always goes into a different room to take a call, this may be a signal that he is a cheating man.
32. He spends more time on his phone
If he has suddenly started spending more time on his phone than usual, this may be a reason to worry. This is especially true if he is being cagey when he is online too. If he never tells you who he is messaging, gets annoyed if you ask what he is up to or he sneakily looks at his phone, this may be one of the signs.
If a guy is completely committed to a relationship he won’t hide anything from his partner. He won’t always text someone else and act suspiciously about texting them.
If you have a gut instinct that his attention is focused on someone else, he may be being unfaithful to you. If he responds defensively or tries to hide it from you, this may be a red flag that he’s cheating.
As A Matter Of Fact…
It is never a nice situation to think that your partner may be cheating. However, it is better to find out if this is happening so that you can move on with your life.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.