Introvert-extrovert relationships could be tricky to navigate at first, because of different social interaction skills. Introverts and extroverts may require some extra work in their relationship but can have a successful one anyway, depending on the determination of the couple involved.
In fact, some may even say introvert-extrovert relationships are more balanced because opposites attract.
The couple may end up complementing each other, especially if both partners understand how the other manage their energy. If you're an extrovert girlfriend who’s with an introvert or vice versa and you're wondering how to make the best of it, these are few tips on how to make introvert-extrovert relationships work.
- 1 17 Ways To Make An Introvert Extrovert Relationship Work
- 1.1 1. Know and recognise your differences from day one
- 1.2 2. Encourage your introvert partner to be more expressive and communicate
- 1.3 3. Be willing to share your expectations early
- 1.4 4. Try avoiding too much time in large social gatherings
- 1.5 5. Don't try to change your partner
- 1.6 6. Know and understand yourself and your boundaries
- 1.7 7. Hold your friends even tighter
- 1.8 8. Essential and non-essential activities
- 1.9 9. Outwardly appreciate your partner
- 1.10 10. Find things you both like to do
- 1.11 11. Conflict is unavoidable
- 1.12 12. Respect each other's wishes
- 1.13 13. Make every moment spent together count
- 1.14 14. Find friends together
- 1.15 15. Compromise
- 1.16 16. Check to see if your partner is as content as you are
- 1.17 17. Be patient with your partner
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Conclude
17 Ways To Make An Introvert Extrovert Relationship Work
1. Know and recognise your differences from day one
Most romances begin with both parties striving to fit into the other party's lifestyle, even though it may be a bit inconvenient. When introverts and extroverts fall in love, fitting into each other’s lifestyles becomes even more difficult. Some introvert women have confessed to attending more than one party in a week when they just started dating their extrovert partners.
Introverts usually enjoy the solitude of the indoors, they recharge by being by themselves or in places with as few people as possible whereas extroverts enjoy being around other people. This is why they love to attend social gatherings, meet people and do outdoor activities.
It's important that both of you understand this about each other, it's ok to make a few adjustments to your normal life for each other's sake, however, it's more important to understand each other and what makes you feel comfortable. If your introverted partner decides to attend parties with you, you should also give them a few times a week to stay indoors and recharge.
2. Encourage your introvert partner to be more expressive and communicate
Introverts are usually quieter and observer. They're not the best at communicating all their thoughts. If you're the introvert in the relationship, you may feel as if you're always the one doing all the talking.
Even if extroverts are talkers and are quite good at being verbal about their feelings and experiences, it's a bit draining when all the burden of communication is on one person's shoulder.
Being the extrovert girlfriend, it's more advisable to encourage your significant other to be open to you. So, try not to use forceful actions like guilting them or harshly criticizing them. Make them feel comfortable enough to open up to you. Also, remember to assure them that there would be no judgements on your part.
Being in an introvert-extrovert relationship can be tough so letting your spouse know your needs in the relationship at the start, would make things smoother for you as time goes on. As an introvert, be sure to explain to your spouse that you need to have some alone time in order to function as a healthy individual, and you hope he can understand that.
As an extrovert, explain to your significant other that you'd need to go out and mingle from time to time in order to recharge and function properly. Sit and talk about your expectations without judging him. Try to understand where he's coming from even when some things he says seem foreign to you.
It's a bit harder for extroverts to realise that not everyone enjoys social gatherings since it feels more natural to them. As an extrovert, be sensitive to your other half’s needs. Don't spend too much time out in social gatherings since they can't take too much of a large crowd for too long without getting irritable and feeling drained.
Don't take his reluctance to go out and about with you as a sign that he isn't interested in you or your hobbies. Plan more time alone together so there can be a balance.
5. Don't try to change your partner
As mentioned above, your love life should be built on mutual understanding. Knowing who your spouse truly is, is quite important. Accept him for who he is and don't try to change him. It's tempting to pressure your spouse into doing what you want to do, but try your best to resist the urge to do that.
Don't try to manipulate him either, if you're not able to coexist with someone whose personality type is too different from yours, it's better for you to end things and find someone else you're comfortable with. As long as you've decided to be with your current spouse, it's advisable to accept him for who he is and try to meet him in the middle.
If he's an introvert, don't pressure him to go out with you all the time, give him some time to himself.
6. Know and understand yourself and your boundaries
Every healthy individual should have boundaries, in romantic interactions and other aspects too. Knowing yourself, what you like, what you hate and how far you can adjust is equally important.
Once you've got these figured out, you'd be able to communicate it to your man properly. If you're not fully sure about these boundaries, it's not too late to figure them out. Observe yourself, find out how many hours of social gatherings you can take before feeling drained and irritable if you're an introvert, or just how much alone time drives you crazy as an extrovert.
By doing this, you'd find it easier deciding how much you're willing to compromise, and meeting your husband in the middle won't be an issue.
7. Hold your friends even tighter
You need like minds around you now more than ever, it'll take lots of pressure off your relationship. Especially if you're an extrovert, whenever your introverted second half isn't in the mood for the party scene or is in need of a break from people, then you can connect with your group of friends instead.
This takes a lot of pressure off your significant other. However, it's important to confirm that your partner is okay with this. Try to hang out with people who respect the fact that you're in a relationship and who respect your husband too. Also, make sure your partner knows all your friends.
8. Essential and non-essential activities
Being able to manage your energy is very important, it's what will keep both you and your spouse happy in your relationship. All personality types need to manage their energy levels to be able to function properly and also give as much love as possible.
Neglecting your boundaries just to please your spouse may work for some time, especially when the relationship is still new, but in the long run, it's not sustainable. So, deciding with your husband which activities are completely essential for you to do and which ones are not, based on how important it is to your partner, is the best thing to do.
9. Outwardly appreciate your partner
People often think that since extroverts appear loud and confident they don't require appreciation from others.
As an introvert, you may need to remind yourself to be expressive about how you show appreciation to your partner. It may take you some time to learn to communicate with your significant other in a way he can receive it, but if you do the work it'll turn out to be very rewarding.
Learn your partner's love language, there's no need to appreciate him verbally if what he really needs or responds to is acts of service. Be intentional about your communication with each other. Focus on their strengths, especially qualities you do not possess yourself.
Don't view your diversities as a weakness, rather remember that you both can complement each other if you work together to create a balance.
10. Find things you both like to do
Part of finding a balance in your relationship is discovering what both you and your bae have in common. There has to be something you both love to do despite your different personalities, you can't spend every waking hour away from each other just because you interact with people differently.
Most couples meet and bond with each other based on the thing they both love, while some others get attracted to each other because of their disparities. Despite which category you and your partner belong to, there's always more to discover as long as the relationship lasts.
Sometimes, even the moments leading up to discovering your commonalities could help you bond. So if you don't happen to stumble upon anything that you both love doing together then be intentional about finding it. Actively try out new things together, even if you have a few fails in the process don't stop trying, it'll all pay off in the end.
Conflict is unavoidable especially when romance is involved. Sometimes, the process leading up to knowing and understanding each other is quite rocky. Some relationship experts have confirmed that 69% of conflicts between couples are unsolvable and may probably remain that way.
Most of this tension stems from basic differences in each person's behaviour and beliefs. What makes it even more complicated is that you both would handle a problem differently. Introverts usually go into their shell for a while, choosing to be alone and not addressing the conflict immediately.
They usually need some alone time to internally process their thoughts before outwardly expressing themselves. On the other hand, extroverts prefer to address the conflict right there, they prefer to handle the issue head-on. In all this, it's best to make sure that you both communicate, it's the only way you can truly understand each other.
12. Respect each other's wishes
As mentioned earlier, it's important to understand and respect each other's preferences. Being aware that personality-wise you both are very different, is just the first step to this. However, just knowing this isn't the answer; you've both got to respect each other's differences and boundaries and be sensitive to each other's needs.
Doing this makes it easier for you both to meet in the middle or find a compromise for the more difficult issues. This simply means respecting your introvert partner's quiet time, alone time and one-on-ones with you and respecting your extrovert partner's love for crowds and the outdoors.
13. Make every moment spent together count
No matter how different you both are, one-on-one time is very important for the success of a relationship. However, extroverts and introverts have very different thoughts on what that looks like.
You need to discover what experiences make you feel connected to each other; whether it's a lazy night-in snuggling up in front of the TV or a nice early morning jog. Perhaps even a romantic evening at a fancy restaurant. It's different for every couple. Everyone has their preferences, the fun is discovering them together.
It's also important to let your spouse know, don't assume that he feels the same way when you guys are carrying out these activities. You may be having the time of your life while his experience is different. That’s why it's important to communicate.
14. Find friends together
Having a few common friends would help you guys spend more time together. Truth be told, most of these friends are going to come from your extrovert partner which isn't a bad thing. If you both feel comfortable with these people they can become your mutual tribe. Another great way to make new friends together is by finding them together.
Perhaps, a nice couple you met on vacation together or on a casual outing. This way, the introvert does not have to feel left out and bored when it's time to hang out with friends. This does not mean that you should abandon your individual friends; it's just nice to have a social circle that you both belong to (together) and are both comfortable with.
Compromise doesn't always mean meeting in the middle. Sometimes, it means taking turns or taking one for the team. For example, instead of just choosing to go to a small gathering, you choose to go to an art gallery for your introvert partner today while you both attend a friend's big birthday bash together the next day.
Or sometimes, the introverted one could stay at home without feeling upset that their spouse is out having fun, and at the same time, the extrovert partner who chooses to go out is content doing so without feeling upset. There are so many ways to compromise, acceptance is a big part of it, this will save you both from lots of conflicts.
16. Check to see if your partner is as content as you are
One very noticeable fact in your relationship is that you're both very different. That's one thing you should not forget. So, while you're dragging your spouse along to go do what you enjoy doing, try finding out if he actually likes it. There's no joy in having fun while your partner is bored out of their mind.
Communication is continuous, not something you indulge in once in a blue moon. Ask your partner if he likes what you're both doing, but don't stop at that. Also, observe his reactions in case he's just pretending to love it because of you. If there's anything he doesn't feel like doing, then ask him what he'd rather do, see if you'd both like that instead.
17. Be patient with your partner
Respect and understanding come hand in hand with patience. Introvert-extrovert couples need to keep reminding themselves over and over that they and their partner have personality differences. Therefore, the only way you can get through these differences peacefully is to be patient and accepting towards your spouse.
Many introverts are still coming to terms with the fact that their introversion is alright and it's not a weakness. Keep in mind that your introvert partner may feel judged or insecure sometimes. So, he may need you to be patient with him from time to time. Resist the need to be judgemental or irritable when he does some things you don't understand.
People often think that introvert and introvert love affairs may not work because of their mutual reserved nature. However, there are a few perks to them, if they both agree to work on their communication skills.
Having a successful relationship all depends on the people involved, if they're both willing to make things work, no matter how much friction they have, they'll work through it.
An ambivert is a person who displays both introvert and extrovert characteristics. Ambiverts can flip attitudes depending on their mood, environment or circumstance. They are also referred to as outgoing introverts clearly because they tend to act like introverts but can be outgoing based on who they're around or what they need to achieve.
All romantic interactions require mutual understanding, respect, care and continuous learning and growing. Whether you're an introvert or extrovert, you need to apply all these in your love affairs. However.
If you're dating an extrovert, you may have to be okay with allowing them to have the freedom they require. And since they love crowds and the outdoors, you may need to let them run wild from time to time.
Ambiverts tend to be better listeners since they're a merge of the introvert who loves to talk more and the extroverts who prefer to listen and observe. Also, ambiverts have the ability to adapt to different situations and they can regulate their behaviour. Also, they're naturally empathetic; they don't find it hard to put themselves in other people's shoes.
Introverts tend to open up to new people slower than both extroverts and ambiverts. They may not be bad at relating with people but they'll probably be slower to ask you out, get physical or even open up about anything. Even reaching milestones like saying, “I love you” or even proposing may even take a while.
I hope you found these tips helpful, remember, everyone has a different personality. You and your partner both have yours too, so to make your relationship work you both need to be patient with each other. Please let us know what you think about this topic and be sure to comment below.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.