Being in an interracial relationship comes with a lot of challenges, from family, friends, and even society. But this doesn't mean you should leave the man you love because of such differences.
Today, many people end up marrying into different cultures, but for some reason, it’s still frowned upon by many.
So, it may feel like society is against you, but what matters most is the love you share with this guy. What binds and keeps relationships isn't just love, but the fact that you are both willing to make things work, and you share the same dreams, goals, and values.
So if you’ve been getting a little heat on the topic, here are some tips that should help you out.
7 Ways To Make an Interracial Relationship Work
1. Respect each other’s differences
You do not have to share a common goal, culture, values, or belief system. Just make sure to respect his people, culture, and focus your attention on whatever makes you happy and be willing to allow him to do the same.
You may sometimes not understand or like his opinion about certain issues but listen to him anyway, although your life experiences and his are different don’t let that be a barrier.
In the same way that you will be considerate, respectful, loyal, caring, and emphatic in any other relationship, be that way with him. The fact that you’re interracial couples shouldn’t make a difference. All these differences like skin color, language, or culture don’t matter, at the end of the day we are all humans.
2. There should be no superior
When I say you should not feel or act overly superior, it doesn’t mean you should feel inferior, there should be a balance. It’s easy to squabble on which culture’s food is better, or which country is more likable, but at the end of the day, this is one area that shouldn’t be taken too seriously.
Although acting superior doesn’t mean you are a racist, it is a sign that you are feeling insecure and you need to work on your emotions. If you are always talking, acting, and feeling superior or your spouse is the one always at the edge of exercising superiority, then that relationship needs a check. Maybe someone is being a racist or you are not compatible.
3. Don’t assume
Don’t just make assumptions about your man. Develop a curious attitude towards his interest and ideas about his people. Curiosity is very important here so you don’t end up assuming things. When you are curious to know and understand him every interaction will be interesting.
Open-mindedness and understanding are important for the relationship to work out. For example, having a bias towards another race won’t help the relationship if the guy you’re dating is part of one of those races.
An intercultural relationship is just like any other relationship, any bias could tip the balance and encourage animosity. Don't make it look like your love life is determined by a few cultural differences.
4. Explore his culture
When you know about your partner's culture, it can help you understand him better. For instance, if your partner has a lot of cultural values, it is important to explore them. Look for ways to participate in his traditional events and just have fun doing it.
When you get involved in learning his custom, you will be exposed to the things he has experienced and this will give you more clarity about his life.
Exploring each other’s culture is a very good way to make an interracial relationship work. You can connect with your partner better by understanding your cultural differences. Diversity in culture is beautiful, enjoy that with your significant other.
5. Address issues immediately
In every relationship communication is key and interracial couples must learn to talk to each other most especially because you come from different backgrounds. When two people from different backgrounds, cultures, or ethnicities get into a relationship there can be awkwardness and lack of communication.
That is why it is important to address issues immediately to avoid future problems. Be sincere in your conversations with your partner, let him know how you feel, and put effort into understanding him as well.
If you both don’t address issues on time it will cause tension and become a challenge. Talk to each other, feel free to be vulnerable, and just be secure in his arms
6. Don’t be affected by the opinions of others
A lot of couples care about people's opinions, even as individuals we sometimes look at others for validation. Many of your friends and family members will not understand or like the fact that you are in a relationship with someone from a different race, don’t be affected by their opinions.
Continually listen to your inner guidance, you will surely be judged for choosing someone from a different ethnicity and race but remember that because your partner is from a different race doesn’t automatically make him a bad person or it doesn’t make him unworthy of love. So pay more attention to your own opinion, and forget about what people think.
7. Maintain boundaries
That you are very close to your interracial partner doesn’t give you the right to cross boundaries. For example, eavesdropping on his phone calls and social media accounts is wrong, there is no excuse whatsoever for you to do that, it’s a toxic trait to invade his privacy like that. Trust me, when you start doing this you are preparing a recipe for disaster and you don’t want that.
When you eavesdrop, you may misunderstand the messages or things you see on his phone and just blow things out of proportion. If you ever feel the need to start controlling him and watching his every move both offline and online, check yourself.
It’s better to check your relationship to know if there is any arising issue, fix it instead of breaking boundaries and escalating issues.
This is a relationship where the couples come from a different race or ethnic group. For example, a White man and a Black or Asian woman.
In 1995 an analysis was carried out by the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) and according to them, there is a 41% chance that such unions won’t last for more than 10 years when compared to those married from the same race.
Firstly, this is because the couples have different values and beliefs. When the couples are unable to work out their differences or when one party starts seeing the other's race as inferior this could break an interracial marriage.
Yes, compared to years ago the number of interracial couples has increased. According to statistics, from the year 1967 to 2010, 15.1% of marriages in the United States were interracial marriages.
As long as both couples belong to a different race or racial-ethnic group, their relationship is considered interracial.
I hope you found this helpful. When making a decision like this, it is important that the couples communicate their values intensively before going into a relationship. Let me know what you think and please don't forget to share this article with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.