Love and infatuation are kind of related in some ways, but when you think deeply about these two words, they are very different from each other. They both deal with the intense feelings which you have towards another person, so it is expected that people confuse them for each other.
To prevent this from happening, we have decided to bring to you a topic that not only educates you but also makes you understand what true love means. Alright, let’s begin!
- 1 Put Yourself In The Situation
- 2 What Really Is Infatuation?
- 3 What Is The Difference Between Infatuation And Love?
- 4 Signs Of Infatuation (Or Is It, Love?)
- 5 FAQs
- 6 In Other Words…
Put Yourself In The Situation
Now imagine, Racheal has found that person whom she really wants to spend her whole life with. She has been waiting all day and night for this person whom your heart craves for, her one and only. Fact being said, she is one of the happiest people on earth right now but… It's alarming and at the same time exciting for her to submit herself to someone she's just knowing. She has not even spent weeks with him and she is really obsessed with the physical attraction she has for him.
Everything wrong seems right to her now. She’s no longer interested in going to clubs with her friends anymore, and right now she’s being insomniac just because of this passionate emotion.
All she wants right now is to sit almost all day thinking about him.
Could this be true love? Well, before I provide you with the answer to this, let’s see what infatuation means.
What Really Is Infatuation?
Infatuation is an intense passion or admiration for a person or something which is usually short-lived. The feelings of infatuation are only strong but with time, they vanish.
Infatuation is the first phase of all relationships which is often coupled with strong emotions that have an expiry date. At this phase, a person is obsessed and filled with excitement due to the chemical reaction going on in the dopamine center found in the brain. Once the infatuation phase can be overcome in a relationship, there would be true love.
Now with the meanings of infatuation I’ve given above, we should have an answer to the question about Racheal’s feeling. The perfect answer is no, Racheal only being infatuated about this guy. Nothing more nothing less!
Many people fall under this category of love. You are convinced that just because you can’t get over thinking about your new partners you’re in love with them.
What Is The Difference Between Infatuation And Love?
The actual reason why we confuse infatuation with love is that the feelings from infatuation are very powerful that one is forced to always be in deep thought about who they are infatuated with. And once this starts happening being in love is assumed.
Still don’t understand the difference between love and infatuation? Let’s take a look at the signs of infatuation to understand the difference between love and infatuation.
Signs Of Infatuation (Or Is It, Love?)
There are a lot of things which will be noticed when someone is being infatuated. Some of them are listed below with a detailed explanation to give you an understanding of each.
1. Faded energy
Though this is not a strict sign of infatuation but pure infatuation only exists in a new relationship. If you notice after a short while of just knowing your partner the intense feeling or energy between the both of you has quickly subsided, you should know it’s a sign that you people have been infatuated with each other.
Love, on the other hand, takes time to develop. The feeling has to be intimate so that a strong bond is formed between partners. The energy of the feelings when you are in love does not fade but when you are infatuated it does fade.
Unlike love, infatuation leads to selfishness. You don’t give a dime about your partner. All you are only focused on are your needs. Infatuation is more of “You see this thing, you want it, and you see that you want it”. And when you get what you want, that's all.
If you notice this behavior in yourself or a person you have feelings for, it's probably not true love but infatuation. Love is about knowing the things your partner needs or wants, and trying to reach a compromise on it.
When there is love, you and your partner can bring each other’s dream to life but if it’s infatuation the achievement is one-sided or nothing is achieved at all.
3. Physical attraction
This is one of the biggest signs of infatuation and even love. When you observe you always want to be in physical contact with your partner, and nothing else, then you are obsessed with infatuation and not love.
This feeling is common in new relationships where people who are assumed to be in love want to be physical as often as possible. To confirm it’s infatuation and not love, the emotional and intellectual experience will be one-sided (the feeling is not mutual).
The act of being over possessive is noticed when someone is infatuated with another person. Hence, when such a person is being threatened by another person to take away their partner, they become jealous. When you notice this behavior in yourself or someone else, it’s a sign of infatuation.
Love won’t make you feel this way because your relationship with your partner is built on trust. The connection between you people is so tight that a mere threat of stealing one of you away from the other won’t shake you guys; instead, you feel confident and relaxed that your partner is so fond of you and nobody can take him or her away from you.
5. Everything is just perfect
When you’re obsessed with the passionate emotions of infatuation, the things your partner does is perfect. There is nothing like imperfection in your dictionary anymore even when your partner is wrong.
And while this happens, mostly, in all relationships, the strength of this belief when one is infatuated is enormous. But if you can see the weakness, imperfection and negative attributes in a person, its love vs infatuation.
Since nobody is perfect, love gives room for criticism. Hence, your actions can be criticized or even questioned by your partner. Love gives both of you the opportunity to do this so that your association will be solid.
Just like when someone wins a $1million bet, the feelings of infatuation are surprising. You will be like “Wow, Oh my God!”
You really can’t believe it, all you can focus on is the fact you won a $1million bet. If you’ve got the chance, you could skip work, invite friends to your house so you can all go clubbing, celebrate your birthday for the second time in a year, and do anything else all because you just won a bet that you haven’t received the cash yet.
All these things are just showing off. A day or two after this, the feelings are gone so what else?
True love is not like this at all. Love is what it feels like when you receive the cash, you plan for the future not just today alone. Love makes you creative by allowing you to think perfectly about how you can grow the cash and turn it into billions of dollars. Even wanting to lavish would skip your mind once love is involved.
With the feelings of infatuation, you want everything to happen within the twinkle of an eye. When you meet someone for the very first time, immediately after you people exchange contacts and chat via social media, you ask them out and you want an immediate answer. You want that person to be yours because you are scared of losing them to someone else.
But love is not like this. Love is like a building that takes time before completion. You can’t build a storey building house without having a strong foundation. Surely, it’s going to collapse one day. This is how love is also. Relationships must be built with patience just to have a solid foundation.
8. Affection for superficial things
I’ve heard a lot of people saying they love the way someone looks, talks, or even laughs, and admit that they love that person by just watching them do those things.
Never! Where on earth is that happening? Internal connection is all what is needed for someone to fall in love and not superficial connection which often ends like infatuation.
The internal connection includes feelings, beliefs, dreams, hopes, and behavior towards other people. If you say you love someone just because of how they talk or look, it’s just an infatuation because sooner or later you might understand why they talk or look that way.
Infatuation is coupled with expectations. When someone is infatuated with a person in a relationship, they expect a lot from the relationship. Expectations from that relationship include:
- How the relationship should look like.
- How their partner must act.
- No disappointment.
- Happiness is always needed even when the source of your sadness is unknown.
But when you are in love, anything that happens in the relationship is normal. You know there are ups and downs in a relationship. When the downs set in, you try to discuss it so you have it ironed out. And when the ups come, you cheer each other on. This is what makes your love relationship interesting and looks perfect.
10. Crazy feelings
When your relationship is filled with crazy feelings instead of loving ones, then it’s actually because one or both or you are having these intense feelings towards each other or expecting a lot from the relationship. It’s a sign of infatuation vs love.
When there is no love in a relationship, drama sets in and everyone becomes crazy towards each other. But when there is love, no drama, no horrible feelings, etc everything is sweet. Negative speech, fight, lack of respect, etc are eliminated when there is love in a relationship.
Infatuation requires connection. When you are infatuated with someone, you will always want to be with that person. But what if tough times come and there is a need for you people to stay away from each other just like how the COVID-19 pandemic has distant everyone, how will you feel? There is no doubt you are going to feel disconnected and lonely. And if that is what you feel right now, I’m sorry to say but all you’ve been feeling towards your partner is infatuation.
When you are in love, distance has nothing to do with the connection between you and your partner. Both of you work as a team regardless of the situation. Loneliness is for those who are obsessed with infatuation and not for those in love.
If you feel like you know everything about a person (but you actually don’t know a single thing), you are just filled with infatuation. You are only assuming things about the person. You don’t have facts. Just like a scientific hypothesis, when there is no fact to back it up, it’s being neglected. Using Racheal’s scenario as a case study, she felt like she had met the love of her life without knowing it was an infatuation.
When you are truly in love, you don't make assumptions about a person instead you find facts. If your relationship is built based on assumption, expect it to end soon because such relationships lack trust. And when there is no trust between you and your partner, expect the relationship to end soon.
Note: Infatuation vs love and love vs infatuation are different things in this article. Though they are used for comparison but we really need to have an understanding of how they can be used. Infatuation vs love is used when the comparison favors infatuation more while love vs infatuation has the opposite.
The primary difference between infatuation and love is the absence or presence of obsessive feelings. When you feel like you are being obsessed with someone, then you are being infatuated with the person.
Another difference is that while love involves the enhancement of the lives of two people, infatuation involves the satisfaction of just one person’s need or want.
Infatuation may and may not turn to love. It depends on the parties who are involved in it and how they can both handle the situation. A deep understanding of the difference between love and infatuation will really help you decide if you are in love or you are being infatuated.
No specific answer can be given to this question as it has to do with the feelings of a person which is often filled with variation. Therefore nobody can give an estimated time for which infatuation will last. Instead, they can give an estimated average based on research.
The symptoms of infatuation include the following:
– Persistent and intrusive thought.
– Tiredness and loneliness.
– Jealousness and possessiveness.
– No zeal.
– Sour stomach.
– Flaw blindness.
Apart from the signs which were listed above, some other signs of infatuation include:
– Fear and anxiety.
In Other Words…
Infatuation is nature’s way of bringing two people together while love is a way of joining them. Once there is no deep connection between these two people such that there is an understanding between them, love is nowhere around them. But if there is a deep connection such that the feelings are mutual from both parties, then we say there is love.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.