This article is not here to judge you about your decisions, as it is up to you what you do with your life.
Love isn’t simple and clear cut, many people often end up falling in love with unavailable people.
If you happen to fall in love with a married man, it is vital to know what comes with that situation.
Every single relationship can be difficult at times, but if you are in love with a married man it can be a lot more difficult. If you are in love with a married man you may be experiencing many emotions and feelings that are difficult to deal with. Some of the time you may feel happy because you are in love, other times you may be feeling guilty and unhappy.
You may have never decided to fall in love with a married man. If you have found yourself in this situation, you may not know exactly how to handle it. No relationship is simple and everyone is different. But there are a few things that you need to consider if you are dating a married man.
If you’re in this situation with a married man, you probably know that this situation cannot last forever. At the end of the day, either he leaves his wife for you or you need to walk away.
- 1 In Love With A Married Man
- 2 What To Prepare Yourself For?
- 3 What To Do Now?
- 4 Taking Everything Into Account…
In Love With A Married Man
According to experts, less than five percent of married men divorce their wives to be with the woman that they’re having an affair with. Even if he tells you that is is not happy, he is not in love with her but he is in love with you or that he promises he will leave her, it is likely that he may not.
What To Prepare Yourself For?
If he wanted to be with you, he would be.
He may be against the idea of divorce because of financial reasons, his religious beliefs, or because he has a family. He may even still love and care for his wife, even if he may tell you that this is not the case.
If he really wanted to commit to you and that was what he truly wanted, he would make that happen. If he really loved you, he would find a way to be with you, whatever the costs would be.
It is probably unlikely for a married man to actually leave his wife for the person he is having an affair with. Your situation is probably not an exception. Divorce is a huge deal, there are many reasons why he may decide to stay with his wife, no matter how much he promises you that he will leave his wife for you.
You may not be able to believe what he is saying if his actions don’t back up what he is promising.
It is exciting.
This may be difficult to accept yourself, but you may be enjoying the risk that is involved in having an affair. You need to admit that you are probably just enjoying the excitement of the idea of having an affair. This is probably how he is feeling too.
This may not be true for every situation. However, if he were to leave her for you, then this excitement would likely disappear and you would have nothing left. Your relationship with this man is likely to alter dramatically, and you’d have to deal with the man of his divorce.
You would have to start to live through the boring elements of life rather than exciting and passionate moments with each other. It may be completely different.
Does he have kids?
If there are kids involved, this makes the relationship even more complex. If he were to divorce his wife, his relationship with his kids would completely change too. If they know that you are the reason their parents split up, they are not likely to ever like you.
He may have his own issues.
He may be married to a woman that he is not compatible with. It is likely that his marital issues are not all her fault. He probably has his own issues. You may need to consider that it may not be different from you.
You may not mean that much to him.
He may be happy with seeing you in secret while still being married to his wife. You may not be as important to him, or not enough for him to be okay with altering his life to be with you. If you chose to break things off with him, he may just go on as normal, or find someone else to see on the side of his relationship.
If you are not his number one priority, you may need to consider whether you really want this man in your life. Even if he is trying to convince you that he will leave his wife for you and that you are his number one priority, you probably aren’t– his wife and his family are.
If he really wanted you, he would sacrifice whatever he needed to in order to be with you.
Is he honest with you?
It is also necessary to think about if he has always been honest with you, did he tell you from the start that he was married to someone else. If he did lie to you, are you sure that you can trust him? Also, if he is cheating on his wife with you, then how can you be sure he wouldn’t do the same to you in the future. He is likely to cheat on you too.
You need to think about whether you can actually trust him. If he is married to someone else but having an affair with you, then there is some amount of lying going on. This man may not be trustworthy. He may have promised again and again to leave his wife for you, but has this actually materialized?
Affairs with married men can be extremely difficult situations. He married someone that he is now lying to. You need to think back to the start of your relationship with him, and whether he lied to you about being a married man. You then need to think about the fact that he is lying to both you and his wife.
If these sorts of guys do leave their wives for the one that they are having an affair with, there is no guarantee that they wouldn’t cheat again.
It doesn’t matter if he does leave his wife for you if you can’t ever trust him.
How long are you happy to wait for him?
If he has kept you on the side of his marriage for a long time without making any commitment or sacrifice to be with you, then it may be time to leave him and look for someone who will make every effort to be with you.
You need to decide how long you are happy to wait for him to leave his wife. Bring this up with him as early as you can. If he doesn’t make any time commitments to you, it may be that he is just keeping you along for as long as he can without having to make any sacrifices himself.
You need to think about the relationship that you have had with this man so far. If it seems that you are spending your life waiting for this man, then it may be time to call it a day. If you wait for him and he makes excuses that he couldn’t leave, or he is always late, then you need to consider whether this is really making you happy.
Is this his first affair?
If you get involved in married affairs, then you may need to consider that you may not be the first one. If this man doesn’t seem to be committed to leaving his wife for you, then you may not be the first one that he has had an affair with.
You may only be temporary. It may be difficult to accept this fact, but no matter how often he tells you how much he loves you, it may eventually lead to him becoming tired of the complication of your affair. An affair is exciting and fun at first but it is only a matter of time before it gets too difficult.
Are you really happy?
If you are in love with a married man then you also need to decide whether this affair that you involved in is really making you happy. It is important to think deeply and figure out whether it is making you happy. You need to figure out whether this is what you want in your life.
You need to figure out properly how you envision your life and whether this fits in with this idea that you have for your life. You then need to decide whether this man that you are seeing fits in with this idea that you have for the future. Once you have figured this out you can decide what you want to do.
What To Do Now?
Perhaps now you are considering how to move on in this situation. The simplest solution may be to leave him. You may have already heard this countless times from your family and friends. You need to consider whether this relationship is really making you happy and whether it is actually adding anything positive to your life.
You need to think of yourself first of all, before anyone else.
If you can’t break up with him just yet, then don’t close off all of your other options. Date other men and maybe try online dating. Don’t forget that you are free to date other people, as you and this man are not exclusive. This may help to remind you that there are many other, potentially better guys out there.
Taking Everything Into Account…
You may never have intended to have fallen in love with a married man, however, there are many things that you now need to consider in this situation.
Let us know if you have ever been in this situation, how you dealt with it, and don’t forget to share this article!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.