Creating time to spend on yourself is very important. Whether you are in a relationship or not, we must make room for ourselves. Most couples get this wrong and feel when you need some space, you are tired of the relationship or have fallen out of love with your partner.
You must understand that people are wired differently. Some love people around the home, while some hate having people around them. If you are that person that loves spending time on your own, you must point it out to your partner, because this can cause issues if you don't give him good reasons.
In today's world, society makes it feel like spending time on your own is a problem. You see everyone posting when they go for social gatherings or vacations, but no one talks about the time they spend alone at home. One thing they don't tell you is that most relationships thrive because there is a balance.
Do you feel you want to spend time on your own at times? But don't know how to communicate it with your boyfriend or even your husband? It is possible, and you can do this without making your partner feel something is wrong with your relationship. You just have to make your man see reasons with you. Here are 7 ways to tell a boyfriend you need alone time.
7 Ways To Tell A Boyfriend You Need Alone Time
1. Let him know what alone time means for you
When you are happy and fulfilled, you become a better girlfriend, and for you to feel that way, you need space for yourself. That is alone time. But when you talk about alone time, it has a different meaning to different people.
Some people like to travel for a vacation to a new place. They do this for a breath of fresh air and to enjoy leisure. For others, they prefer to stay in the same place with their significant other and be quiet—no discussion, no play, just hours of silence. For others, they just want to do new things and get new hobbies.
So before telling your boyfriend, you need to know what alone time means for you and how you want to go about it.
2. Be straightforward
Tell him that you need alone time and don't beat around the bush. You can also use other languages or ways to tell him. Don't make it look like you are playing a mind game. It will be terrible if your words are misinterpreted, and it can lead to other damages.
This has broken a lot of relationships. So, when you talk to your man about needing some time away, make sure you are straightforward, specific, and honest about your needs. However, don't leave your partner feeling scared, insecure, and rejected. Because you might be hurting him in the process.
Reassure your partner that taking some break doesn't mean you don't love him anymore, or you want to leave him, or want to form an emotional distance.
Reassurance is necessary because your partner may not really understand why you need alone time. He may feel that getting alone time is a way of drifting from him. Also, you may unconsciously stir up rejection in your partner. So, be sensitive to the things you say and continuously tell him you love him.
4. Do not turn a discussion into an argument
Be calm in your approach to this. Even if your partner gets upset at the idea, remain polite and do not attack him. You are entitled to have space when you want to, and that he doesn't see it as a good idea doesn't make it a bad one.
Hold on to that desire because you must take some time to be on your own. Just try to make him understand less harshly and with specific words. Instead of saying, “I need space, or I'm shocked being here,” you could say, “on Friday after work, I will hang out on my own for some hours.
Never forget that no one ever won a discussion by arguing. So, make sure you are mature enough to handle these things. But if you are scared of what his reaction will be, you can get professional help.
5. Drop guilt
You may start feeling guilty because you need some space from your boyfriend. But you shouldn't; it's not selfish that you need some space. It's healthy for you to get away from everything for a while and just focus on yourself. Even if there is no pressing reason to have time alone doesn't mean it's not necessary.
Sometimes, you just need time alone to connect with yourself on a deeper level. Don't feel guilty or think your love is diminishing. It's not a red flag that you want to be alone, and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with your partner or relationship.
Your ability as a couple to spend time apart is a sign that the relationship is actually healthy. And if your man understands he will support you, take time out and find things that interest you and do them.
6. Plan when you will come back
When you tell your partner, you need alone time. It can make him very anxious to relieve that anxiety; you can plan when you will be coming back with him. You can also schedule a picnic, special movie time, or something you both have an interest in, This way, you’ll both have a superb time as a couple together immediately you get back.
Planning a reunion will really help maintain your relationship. It will reassure him that your time together is as important and enjoyable as your alone time. The healthiest relationship gives space for a good amount of couple time mixed with a good amount of alone time. And this is where a lot of relationships have gotten it all wrong.
7. Don't blame your man
Let your discussion focus on what you want, not pointing accusing fingers and blaming your partner for the emotions you are going through. Let your discussions be focused on your needs. Avoid saying blame-oriented negative things or bringing up the past, so he can allow you to do what you want.
Your focus should be on your wants and needs and the alone time you plan, not your partner's shortcomings. Blaming him can break your relationship. You must be mature enough to handle things.
Not so much. It is vital to take some time out and be alone. But it should never get to a point where your man doesn't feel your presence. Once he starts feeling your absences in your relationship, then there is a problem.
You must communicate it to him and make him understand you want to spend some time alone. I also gave 7 ways you can tell your boyfriend you need space.
As much as they can, spend time together every time you get a chance to do things that interest the both of you. But even at that, boundaries must be respected. This is a sign of a healthy relationship.
This solely depends on you. You know your man better and know how much he can stay without you. Try to make this decision based on his personality. Doing this is healthy and important, but you must know you are not the only one involved in the relationship.
Yes, it is very healthy. Most people think taking a break means you are not interested in your partner anymore, but this is not true. Everyone deserves to have time to reflect on things personally and plan for themselves. Being in someone's space every time can be very frustrating.
I hope you found this article helpful? You must not be in each other's face every waking moment. But at the same time, you definitely will be in each other's space. So, always keep it at the back of your mind. You can't take a break every time. Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.