He is everything you look for in a guy. He understands you, he is a nice guy, and you can feel the connection between the two of you. However, he is your best friend’s boyfriend. Now, you have to deal with feelings of confusion, guilt, and perhaps, a little jealousy.
I get it that you can’t control who you crush on. So, try not to be too hard on yourself. It makes perfect sense why you and your best friend share a similar taste in men. This is because you get along so well. After all, you are both best friends. So it is not bad that you are attracted to your best friend's boyfriend. In fact, it is relatively normal.
The issue is how you handle it. This will determine whether you have your BFF at heart or not. Is your friendship worth losing over your friend's guy? I don't think so. So, what should you do if you like your best friend’s bf? Below are some answers.
- 1 5 Things To Do If You Like Your Bestfriend’s Boyfriend
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Up
5 Things To Do If You Like Your Bestfriend’s Boyfriend
1. Talk to a trusted person about it
It is not prudent to keep this secret to yourself. A problem shared is a problem half solved, they say. But when you decide to keep these feelings secret, they might start feeling stronger. Eventually, you might even start having wild fantasies about your best friend’s partner, which will likely get out of hand.
You’ll next start wondering if you’ll both look good as a couple, how wonderful it would be to kiss him, etc. Once you start thinking like this, you are bound to act on it. That is why it is so important to come clean about your crush to a trusted and honest person. It could be another friend, a family member, etc.
If you can’t trust anyone with your secret or you think they might be judgemental, then see a therapist. The significance of this is that you’ll be able to keep those feelings in check. Talking to someone about it helps you to realize the magnitude of the situation. So, you find ways and means to be accountable.
2. Distance yourself from their relationship
Do your best to keep your distance from their relationship. Sometimes, your friend will want you to spend time with her and her boyfriend. Respectfully and politely decline her invitation. You should not feel bad about it. This is because it is a preventive measure against betraying your friend.
On the other hand, accepting these invitations to hang out with them might also make you lonely and even jealous. The feelings of having your friend's boyfriend might even become more intense. That being said, when declining invitations, try not to be so obvious. Or else, it might make the friendship feel weird in the long run.
One viable excuse to give your friend is to tell her you also want to develop other relationships.
And that can help to redirect your focus away from her guy until they are completely faded. Doing the opposite, however, will plant thoughts in your head, which can grow into a big tree of betrayal against your friend.
3. Consider what cheating would do to your friendship
The thing about betrayal is that nobody believes that they can be the bad one. This is because it usually begins with innocent thoughts. Then you start to think things like, “Friends do this, it is no big deal“, “We are just flirting. It’s no red flag situation” or “This is normal. It is not like we want to pursue a relationship together”.
Then gradually, these innocent thoughts start to take shape. And before you realize it, you are skin deep with her boyfriend. And that is how situations like these start. You never thought you could do this to your best friend, but here you are.
So, in your dealings with your friend’s boyfriend, be careful with what you say and do. He might even notice that you are attracted to him. If he is not the faithful type, he might even tempt you to cheat. And you can lose your friend and other mutual ones because of a wrong decision on your part. The funny aspect of this situation is; that if he is willing to cheat on your best friend with you, it says a lot about him. It also means he can cheat on you with someone else who catches his fancy.
4. Never use their relationship problems to your advantage
In every relationship, there are disagreements; some are petty, and some are serious. The point is that; when tensions arise in their relationship, your girlfriend would come to you for comfort and even advice. The thing about being a best friend is that you are privy to all that is going on in your girl’s life.
You have first-hand information, directly from the source. It will, therefore, be very wicked of you to use the information you are being fed, against your friend. So consider your girl. Look out for her wellbeing. Give a listening ear to your friend’s emotional outbursts.
But if you can’t trust yourself to give good judgment or advice on the situation or if you think you can’t pick a side because you are attracted to her guy, stay out of their relationship. It’s best to stay away from her for a while until your mind clears.
5. Concentrate on getting your unique relationship
As they say, there are plenty of guys out there. It might take a while, but there is also that perfect person out there for you.
If you are not yet dating, make sure you are meeting new guys in search of your potential partner. However, if you are already on the dating scene, decide on focusing more on your union. I bet your boyfriend also has tons of good qualities. Or else, you wouldn’t be with him. So remind yourself of all his special qualities.
All in all, the man your best friend is dating is off-limits. I understand it can be tempting, but it is just not a good idea. So, try not to indulge your friend and her boyfriend more than you have to. Focusing on their union can be dangerous.
If you like your best friend’s boyfriend, you need to talk to a trusted person about it. You also need to put the friendship first and stay away from their relationship.
According to research, you and your friend get along so well because your relationship is based on similarities. If you and your best friend enjoy similar interests, you are both likely to have similar tastes in guys. So, liking your friend’s boyfriend is not a bad thing at all. The main issue is how you handle that crush.
First of all, unless you are talking about kidnapping (which by the way, is a crime), you should know that no one can be stolen. They are with you because they want to or not. Again, if you are bent on entertaining those feelings about your friend’s guy, it is quite telling that you are a bad friend.
Your friend is always asking about your boyfriend because she may have a certain romantic interest in him.
If your friend’s guy likes you, he will pursue you and try to flirt with you. He always tells your friend to invite you when they are going for outings. Also, he may talk about you a lot.
To Sum Up
To end with, I understand the heart wants what it wants. And sometimes, you are not responsible for whom you fall for. And that is fine. I also get that it can be very painful to ignore your feelings.
However, it’s not very wise to tell either (or both of them) about your feelings. What if they get married? They might be insecure about you. And you could lose a good friend because of that. And she would be right to cut you off if she feels you are a threat to their marriage.
So, consider the greater good. Nobody has your back other than your girlfriend. Even if it means battling with yourself to preserve a good friendship, take it! I bet you would expect the same from your girlfriend and not expect her to betray you with your boyfriend.
I hope you enjoyed this piece. Comment your thoughts in the comments section. And kindly share this article
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.