Are you one of those people who gets very uncomfortable around PDA? Do you think it’s meant to be private? Do you wonder why people say, “I hate PDA?” Are you curious to learn more about the subject? Well, you are in luck because this article will define why someone might hate PDA.
We’ll look at the reasons that someone finds it distasteful and why someone might not want to participate in it. Let’s first define PDA. PDA means public displays of affection – basically, hand-holding, kissing, or doing any other sexual or romantic act in public.
When couples are first going out or dating, they often enjoy showing affection in public. They really can’t keep their hands off one another! Have you ever seen a newly married couple on a train or bus? They have goofy eyes for one another and can’t stop touching one another. They don’t care if they make everyone around them uncomfortable.
We’ll examine the topic more closely in this article, so you can know what to expect if your partner doesn’t like PDA or how to explain it to your partner if you hate it!
- 0.1 The Possible Reasons Why I Hate PDA
- 0.1.1 1. I don’t want anyone to know who I am dating
- 0.1.2 2. I believe the affection should be private
- 0.1.3 3. It makes me feel uncomfortable
- 0.1.4 4. I want affection to be special (in private)
- 0.1.5 5. I don’t like giving or receiving affection at all
- 0.1.6 6. No one needs to know the status of my relationships
- 0.1.7 7. I don’t want to make other people uncomfortable
- 0.1.8 8. Religiously, I do not believe that PDA is right
- 0.1.9 9. I don’t like seeing the looks I get from other people
- 0.1.10 10. PDA just makes me horny
- 0.1.11 11. Other people may get jealous if they see me giving or receiving PDA
- 0.1.12 12. It could be seen as a threat to the normal ways of society
- 0.1.13 13. I think it shows a certain amount of insecurity
- 0.1.14 14. I’m not ready to go public with my relationship
- 0.1.15 15. I care about what other people think of me
- 0.1.16 16. I don’t have anyone to share it with
- 0.1.17 17. I believe it is disgusting
- 0.1.18 18. It reminds me of an ex
- 0.1.19 19. It makes me jealous of other people
- 0.1.20 20. I feel like I should be watching porn
- 0.1.21 21. I don’t want anyone to tell me to get a room
- 0.1.22 22. It can get very awkward
- 0.1.23 23. It makes it hard to concentrate
- 0.2 What To Do
- 0.3 FAQs
- 0.4 In Conclusion
The Possible Reasons Why I Hate PDA
1. I don’t want anyone to know who I am dating
Maybe you are in a relationship, but you don’t want anyone to know about it. If you show affection in public, people will obviously know that you are a couple and that they have no chance of dating you. If you are unsure about how serious your relationship is, you may not want to confirm its status in front of people you do not know.
2. I believe the affection should be private
For some people, holding hands in public is okay, but kissing is taking things too far. Other people believe that kissing is fine if the couple feels that they can do it in an appropriate manner. If there are children around, it’s never a good idea to show PDA except maybe hand-holding. Kids are too impressionable.
3. It makes me feel uncomfortable
It doesn’t matter if it’s a kiss or a couple holding hands – PDA can make you very uncomfortable. If it makes you uneasy, you should not do it. Only do what you are comfortable with. Never act one way in public because you think it is going to get your attention – of any kind – positive or negative. You may like attention; many people do!
However, in public, don’t act in unnatural ways. If PDA makes you uncomfortable, forget about it. Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you just aren’t into it, and explain that you’d like to have all the touching happen in private. Never go against the grain; don’t do that which makes you uneasy or unsure of yourself!
4. I want affection to be special (in private)
Many people are fine giving their partner a kiss or holding hands as long as it is in the comfort of their own homes. PDA means you are out in public with the masses, and everyone can see what you are doing. If you decide to show your partner how much you care about him or her, you could hold hands, as long as you are okay with that.
Never participate in activities that go against your nature. If PDA makes you feel weird, make it a point to never do it. Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you are okay with affection as long as it stays at home, not in public. If you are honest, both you and your partner will feel better about your relationship. Work together to find the best method.
5. I don’t like giving or receiving affection at all
Maybe the reason you dislike PDA so much is that you don’t like affection. When having sex, you like to skip the foreplay and go right for the gold! If you find that that describes you, it’s important that you communicate this with your partner. They need to understand your desires and methods for romantic action.
6. No one needs to know the status of my relationships
When you are in public, you are making a public statement as you show the world who you are dating, what your relationships are like, and what you believe about PDA. That’s letting people understand you in more ways than you may like. If you feel like PDA should remain in the home, make sure your mate does understand this, too.
7. I don’t want to make other people uncomfortable
People pleasers are those who care about others and want to make other people happy. They think this is very important. If you are trying to make other people happy, you may not want them to see you making out with your partner or doing anything sexual because it makes other people uneasy since they are not a part of your relationship.
8. Religiously, I do not believe that PDA is right
Many people have strong religious beliefs that make them believe that things like PDA are inappropriate. They may think that PDA shows that you are too affectionate in the relationships you are in. PDA also indicates that you have little shame for yourself, which may go against the beliefs of others. Some people think PDA is naughty and really bad!
9. I don’t like seeing the looks I get from other people
If you don’t want to show affection in front of others, don’t touch your partner in public. PDA indicates that you don’t care about the looks you get from other people, but some people find looks like that to be disturbing, and that makes them hate PDA. Determine if PDA is important to you or if you can get away with waiting until you get home.
10. PDA just makes me horny
PDA is still a way of showing romantic interest in your partner, regardless of what other people think. If you have decided to share a deep French kiss with your partner, they may believe you want to have sex now. For many guys, PDA or touch of any kind means that the girl wants to have foreplay and then sex right after.
If you don’t want to lead your partner on, it’s important that you don’t touch or show PDA because you may give them the wrong idea. However, it depends on what your intentions are. If you feel that a kiss leads to sex, a kiss in public will likely turn you on, making you want to have sexual intercourse as soon as possible. Figure out your desire.
11. Other people may get jealous if they see me giving or receiving PDA
Some people don’t only worry about what other people think, but they don’t want them getting jealous of the relationship they are in, so they choose not to do PDA because they feel it makes others jealous. If you are worried a kiss may make someone jealous, and that bothers you, don’t do it. Do what makes you comfortable doing.
If you have no problem making out in public, go ahead and start making out with your partner. If you know that you hate seeing people doing stuff in public, you might not want to do anything because you understand their point of view. You can see the world from their eyes, so you feel it’s best to refrain from doing PDA.
12. It could be seen as a threat to the normal ways of society
Many people think it is not proper to participate in PDA. They feel that it is against cultural norms and would prefer not to see things like that. Usually, this is the case with older people who grew up in different places and times. They are known as being very old-fashioned, and they get away with their beliefs because of their vast wisdom.
On the other hand, there are people who have mostly interacted online with the person or people they are dating. When they finally do meet the person they have been talking to online, they may feel weird about showing physical affection, so, in a sense, this younger generation may also think PDA is not the way to go.
Whether you are young or old, you may just not like to interrupt the balance of society by showing physical affection in public. If you don’t like seeing it, you should probably not be doing it. If you think it’s wrong, don’t do it. However, if you are comfortable getting away with it, go for it, and don’t care what other people have to say on the subject!
13. I think it shows a certain amount of insecurity
Often, people go overboard with PDA. They feel like they must show lots of romantic gestures because they must show people they have someone special in their life. If you are secure in who you are, this is probably not you, but you may look like you are insecure if you partake in PDA.
14. I’m not ready to go public with my relationship
As mentioned earlier, there are many people who just want to keep things casual. Sometimes, these people are “players,” and they’re dating multiple people. The last thing they want is to be caught showing PDA with someone by one of the other persons they are dating! They want to get away with playing the field!
15. I care about what other people think of me
If you really care about what people think of you, you may not get away with PDA comfortably. You will always be wondering what others think or say about you behind your back. You may think that people are always whispering about the relationships you are in because they’ve seen you participate in PDA.
Some people really hate PDA because they don’t have another person to do it with. They are envious of the others who get to join in and do PDA, so they don’t want to look at it. It just reminds them of what they are missing out on and makes them wonder why they can’t find a person to share life and love with.
17. I believe it is disgusting
Some people just think PDA is gross. They would rather not look at it. I don’t hate PDA that much, but when I see a couple really going at it, I do get grossed out because I think they should do that when they get home. I mean, I believe that they are in a public place and children are usually present, so it should be a private activity.
18. It reminds me of an ex
Maybe you had an ex that couldn’t keep her hands off you or vice versa. Maybe when you see a couple making out, you are reminded of that ex, someone who you now hate with a passion! If that’s the case, look away when you see people getting busy in public. Alternatively, you could roll your eyes or tell them to get a room!
19. It makes me jealous of other people
Maybe seeing PDA makes you think about cute couples in love. Perhaps you wish that was you! If that’s the case, just try not to dwell on it. Look away and concentrate on the next task on your to-do list. Play a game on your cell phone or text a friend. Do anything that distracts you from the annoying couple who won’t quit showing PDA.
20. I feel like I should be watching porn
If you are like many people, you may think that watching two people going at it is like watching a porn movie or video, especially when they get hot and heavy. You may think that it’s totally inappropriate and wish that they would stop doing that in front of you. You can look away or think about something completely unrelated while it’s happening.
21. I don’t want anyone to tell me to get a room
Like road rage, many times when we are out and about, we can never predict how other people are going to react. If you are giving your special someone some sweet love, you may make someone so uncomfortable that they decide to say something to you. That would be quite awkward and a confrontation can really ruin your day!
22. It can get very awkward
When two people are going at it in public, they can forget where they are and get carried away with passion. Maybe they decide to start groping each other, which is totally inappropriate when other people are around, especially children or teenagers. You are teaching them what they should not be learning how to do!
23. It makes it hard to concentrate
Maybe you take the train to work every morning and often see couples making out or showing affection in some way. If you are working on your iPad or laptop, you might find it quite difficult to concentrate if they won’t stop. You may be getting ready for a meeting you are about to go to as soon as you walk into the office.
How will you get that presentation done in time if there are people smooching in front of you? All you can think about is sex and lovemaking. The last thing on your mind is the financial figures and budgeting expectations for the next quarter, right? Numbers just don’t even make sense right now because you are thinking about sexual intercourse.
Seeing lots of this going on all around you may make it very difficult to concentrate and focus on the task at hand. You may be writing a company-wide email that has to be sent to everyone, and you see that you accidentally wrote something about kissing instead of killing the competition with your new business strategy. How tragic is that?
What To Do
My best suggestion is to work with your partner and let them know that you are not neglecting them, but instead, you will show them affection at home. You just don’t want to show it in public. Explain that they mean the world to you but that you are not comfortable showing public displays of your feelings. They should understand.
Use a soothing tone and explain that they have done nothing wrong. It’s just a personal preference of yours. Some hand-holding may be in order! You don’t have to explain much more than that. If they don’t get it or understand what you mean, you may want to reevaluate whether this person is right for you or not. You just may be too different.
Each person is different, but you may dislike it because it makes you uncomfortable. You may think that kissing or hand-holding should be reserved for private areas only. In a private area, you may be okay with touching and kissing because no one else is around.
Many people dislike PDA because they believe public displays of affection should be reserved for private places. You may feel that affection in public is gross and unnecessary. Maybe you enjoy affection, just not public affection! That’s pretty normal because lots of people want the romantic stuff to be at home.
Public displays of affection can be a sign of insecurity. It depends on the intent of the boyfriend or girlfriend. Are they only holding hands to show the world they love one another? Are they truly in love and want to show their love every chance they get?
If you are not in love and don’t have a boyfriend, it can be awkward to see another couple holding hands, madly in love. It makes you a bit jealous and maybe makes you wonder why you can’t find the love of your life. It could also turn you on!
If your boyfriend doesn't like PDA, he may just not want to share his affection for you in public. Public affection shows everyone just how close you are to one another. If you only do hand-holding in public, people may think you aren’t very close. Avoid judgmental looks!
What is your take on PDA? Do you think PDA is good for relationships? Should people avoid doing certain acts of affection in public? How far is too far? We’d love to hear your opinion, and we’d especially love it if you shared what you enjoyed about this post!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.