Perhaps you have been married to your husband for a few years now, everything was fine before and you were happily married. You had the occasional argument, but nothing major, but now you find yourself hating him. You are probably wondering what to do in this situation. But don’t worry, you aren’t alone, and there are things that you can do to save your marriage.
The first thing to remember is not to jump to any conclusions or make any rash decisions. It is also hugely important that you don’t just ignore these thoughts that you are having and push them out of your head. You may have told him during an argument before that you hated him but you never meant it before, so what is different now?
If you really feel like you hate your husband, even a little bit, it is really important that you act straight away rather than ignoring these thoughts as they are only going to get worse if you fail to do anything about it. Remember that you are not alone, and it is surprisingly common to have these thoughts towards your partner.
I Hate My Husband — What To Do About It?
When you are married to someone, you spend more time with them than any other people, so it is common to have arguments and rough patches every now and again and it is quite common for people to feel some sort of hatred toward their partners at different times in their marriage. It is unusual to last marriage with someone without getting annoyed by them sometimes.
Usually, these feelings of annoyance are soon replaced by love as you remember why you are married to them. But if these feelings of annoyance and hatred don’t go away, no matter how much you have tried to convince yourself that you love him, it may be time to focus on these issues and perhaps try couples counseling.
If remembering how caring he is, how attractive he is, or that he always makes you laugh doesn’t change the feelings of hatred that you are experiencing toward him, it is important to deal with these heavy feelings before they turn into something that you cannot fix. Keep reading to deal with these feelings and save your marriage.
1. Consider Whether He Is Meeting Your Needs
If you know that this hatred you are feeling for your husband comes from the fact that he never tidies up after himself, he always makes a mess and never cleans it up, he doesn’t make an effort with the kids, or he never acts on his promises to you, then at least you know the reasons for your feelings.
If you are feeling like this toward your husband, but you don’t know why, then it is going to be harder to fix. If you don’t know exactly why you are feeling this way, make sure to pay attention to him and his behavior, and consider how this affects you. If there are any problems that are unresolved then this may be causing your current issues.
Consider whether he has said something hurtful to you recently if he fails to listen to you when you are trying to tell him something or whether he makes you feel unloved or not important. Think about your own needs and whether he is meeting them successfully. If he is not then this may be why you are feeling hatred toward your partner.
2. Don’t Let Things Get Worse
If you have been experiencing feelings of hatred toward your husband recently, it is important that you don’t let this go on any longer before it gets resolved. If you have found out the reasons why you have been feeling this way then it is important to act on it straight away before it gets any worse and before it becomes something that is unresolvable.
If you know that you are annoyed or sad about something then it is important to talk about this to your husband before things become out of control. If you never mention the things that upset you then he may not even know you are upset. This is only going to make you feel worse if you never address any issues that you are having in your relationship.
Have a calm conversation with your partner about how you have been feeling recently. Consider things from his perspective. Don’t expect him to be able to read your mind and remember if you don’t tell him that there is an issue, he may have no way of knowing that there is one. Try to avoid things becoming worse by being open and communicating with him.
3. Consider Possible Solutions
As soon as you have told your partner how you have been feeling in an open conversation, it is now time to talk about how to resolve these issues. Try and come up with solutions to your problem together as they are much more likely to be successful if they are something that you can both agree on. Give him a chance to suggest solutions too.
Figure out together how you can solve these issues and prevent them from happening in the future. Decide how you want to move forward and resolve these problems before they resurface. Perhaps this may mean sharing the household chores more and making an effort to communicate together more frequently.
Often you may hate your husband may come from believing that his behavior is never going to change. However, if you haven’t told him that something is a problem, it isn’t going to change. It may just take having an open and honest conversation for him to realize that he has been acting wrongly.
4. Consider Counseling
If you feel as if you are unable to resolve your issues alone, it may be time to consider marriage counseling if you want to work on your relationship. If you have told your partner how you have been feeling and perhaps you have tried to resolve your issues, but nothing has worked, it may be time to look for outside help to save your relationship.
If nothing has changed since you have agreed to work on your relationship and you have still been feeling hatred toward him even though he has been trying to work on your relationship, it may be necessary to seek professional help. If you are getting to the point where you have had enough, it is time for counseling.
If your partner is not in agreement right away, try and explain that you really want to resolve the issues in your marriage and that you want to get on with each other better. He will likely come around to your way of thinking if he believes that you will both be happier because of it. No one wants to see their marriage fail.
5. Try To Have Fun Together Again
When was the last time you just relaxed and had fun with your partner? If your work life balance just isn’t there, then it may be a long time. Marriages are not easy but it is important that if you want to have a successful one that you maintain the fun that you had together when you were dating.
If you have started to hate your spouse then you are likely spending little of your spare time with them, which will only make the situation worse. If you never do fun activities together anymore and all you do is argue, your relationship is only going to keep getting worse. Try to have fun with your partner again.
Remember the dates you used to go on when you first started seeing each other and consider recreating your first date. When you start remembering why you fell in love with this person the hate you have been feeling may gradually dissipate. It may also be an idea to go on a holiday or a weekend away to help to bring the fun back into your marriage.
If you hate your husband you may be wondering how you can stop experiencing these feelings. Consider his recent behavior and what could have caused these feelings. It will be easier to sort it out when you know exactly what is causing this hate. Once you know why you feel like this it is important that you talk to him openly and honestly and look for a solution.
If you are married to a toxic husband it is important that you don’t accept this situation. Talk to family and friends and figure out a way that you can get out of this marriage. Don’t feel like you have to stay around if he is not making you happy. No one should be forced to stay in a marriage that they are not happy in.
If you are living with someone that you hate it is important that you either address the issues causing the hate or move out. Talk to this person and try and find a solution to the issues that you are experiencing. If you cannot find a way to fix the situation it may be time to leave and find a new living situation that will make you happy.
If you have found yourself thinking “I hate my wife” or “I hate my husband” it is important that you address these issues straight away, don’t ignore them or they are likely to turn into problems that you will never be able to solve. Figure out the cause of these feelings and have an honest conversation with this person to try and find a solution.
If you are in a toxic marriage then you are likely unhappy and may even feel unsafe. It is important to address these feelings and not ignore them as they are not going to get better if you just push the thoughts away. Speak to a close friend or family member that you trust, to help you figure out how to resolve this situation.
To Sum Up…
If you are in a marriage and you find yourself hating the one you are married to, then you may be looking for ways to stop yourself from experiencing these feelings. Marriages can be hard and it is normal to go through rough patches, however, if it has got to the point where you have started to hate your spouse then it is time to address this situation immediately.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.