So, you are wondering what to do because you think, “I hate my brother’s girlfriend!” Maybe you are jealous of the time she is spending with your brother – time that used to be reserved for just the two of you. Maybe the dynamics of your family functions have changed. There could be a million reasons why you don’t like her!
Remember that this is your brother’s life and choice, not yours. You might be better off just minding your own business and praying that this girl makes your brother happy! It’s not wrong or unusual to feel dislike toward the girlfriend of your brother.
It doesn’t make you a bad person or anything like that. Just remember that you are an adult who would like to be treated with respect. Remember the Bible verse, treat others the way you want to be treated. Treat people in the same way you would like them to treat you!
Also, remember that she may one day be your brother’s wife, a permanent member of your family, so in the beginning, you should try not to get on her bad side! The relationship between siblings can be tough, so let’s discuss this issue in more detail!
- 1 What To Do If You Hate Your Brother’s Girlfriend
- 1.1 1. Find common ground
- 1.2 2. Spend less time with his girlfriend
- 1.3 3. Talk to your brother about his choice
- 1.4 4. Decide if you are giving her a fair chance
- 1.5 5. Pick on her in a playful way
- 1.6 6. Take her out for a spa day
- 1.7 7. Block her on social media
- 1.8 8. Ignore her
- 1.9 9. Smile and pretend that you like her
- 1.10 10. Let things run their course
- 1.11 11. Get to know her better
- 2 How To Prevent Family Disasters
- 3 FAQs
- 4 In Summary
What To Do If You Hate Your Brother’s Girlfriend
Some of these ideas may sound counterproductive, but each one is a different idea all on its own. If one trick doesn’t work for you, consider trying a different one. Everyone works in unique ways, so what works for one person may not work for another. The goal is to get through this difficult relationship with the least amount of pain possible. Don’t purposely start fights.
1. Find common ground
There is surely something you have in common with your brother’s girlfriend. You may just need to think outside the box to come up with the right thing that the two of you have in common. Does she like needlepoint, shopping, going to the movies, doing her hair and nails, or decluttering her home? Do any of those ideas appeal to you?
2. Spend less time with his girlfriend
For me, this is the best way to be around someone I don’t like. Personally, I despise one of my relatives. She is conceited, has bad manners, is very negative, complains all the time, and just brings me down when I’m around her. I used to warn boyfriends before they met her that she is a nightmare and they won’t like her because she was awful.
Most boyfriends didn’t believe me and wanted to get to know her. EVERY time we left my childhood home after spending time with this relative, they were like, “You were actually DOWNPLAYING how horrible she is! I can’t believe it!” Many of them even called her names like “Satan” or “the Devil!” She’s a pretty awful person to be around.
So, you are probably wondering how I can stand to be around a person like this. The trick is to spend the least amount of time possible with her, ignore her social media posts, and try to avoid any conversations with her. If I know she’ll be at a family event, I usually just don’t go! Also, doing meditation and finding my calm ahead of time helps!
3. Talk to your brother about his choice
If you are seriously concerned that this girl is not going to make him happy, you should stand up for him! Tell him all the ways you think he is being blind to the situation and how you hope he sees all the negative qualities that she has. Make a list ahead of time if you need to! Being honest is the best thing to do to something positive about this person!
4. Decide if you are giving her a fair chance
While it may sound pretty easy, you really should decide if you are being fair to her with your judgment. Have you given her a fair shot in this relationship?
5. Pick on her in a playful way
Some people find it helpful to just pick on the girl at the family events they don’t like. Make sure you don’t purposefully make her look bad because if you just insult her, it’ll just make you look bad. Instead, find a way to do this tactfully.
6. Take her out for a spa day
If you’d like to give her a shot, take her to the mall or beauty salon and do girl things together!
If you really don’t like this person, you may not want to see pictures of her on social media, so just stop following her and move on with your life.
8. Ignore her
As I mentioned with my difficult family member, you might be better off if you just ignore her. You don’t have to ignore her questions if she is trying to be friendly and get to know you better, but don’t strike up conversations with her!
9. Smile and pretend that you like her
Fake it ‘till you make it. That saying is so true in many ways. Just pretend that the two of you are best friends and watch the friendship grow in no time. If you “pretend” she is not all that bad of a person, you may find that there are qualities about her that you really do like!
10. Let things run their course
Give it time. Your brother may get sick of her soon enough and see the things you despise about her. Just be patient and know that you can get through this – taking it one day at a time. Things look better and easier when you look at the baby steps instead of at the whole issue as one thing. Break it down moment by moment.
Your brother may soon realize that she isn’t the girl for him. Maybe she isn’t as strong of a woman as he would like or just doesn’t have the intelligence he needs in a romance. He may just break up with her without you having to do anything, so you might just allow things to run their course.
11. Get to know her better
I don’t think this list would be complete without mentioning the option of getting to know her better. Find out what her hopes, dreams, aspirations, and passions are. What do the two of you have in common? Determine things you can ask her about. Maybe she’s into quilting; ask her what all she has made in the past and find out more about this hobby.
You could also share with her your favorite things to do. Does she seem interested in getting to know you better? Talk about your career and the things on your bucket list. Talk about the things you do in your spare time – if you have any! Determine how she spends her free time, too. You might go get coffee together one day.
How To Prevent Family Disasters
My first suggestion is to avoid family events because your sibling or the person they are dating will be there. If you get nauseated every time you are around this couple, you shouldn’t have to subject yourself to that kind of treatment. It may be in your best interest to just go to family events where you know your brother and his girlfriend won’t attend.
Another idea is to ignore the person your brother is dating. You don’t have to be rude if they ask you a direct question or anything like that, but you can just steer clear of striking up a one-on-one conversation with her. Use your brother as a buffer and let him play defense in any conversation you have with the girl he’s dating. Surely, he will understand what’s happening!
My final suggestion to avoid family disasters is to bring your own boyfriend or girlfriend! If you bring the person you are dating, you will have someone to talk to and can just ignore the fact that you dislike the girlfriend of your brother. Instead, spend time chatting it up and introducing your man or woman to everyone! Try to have a good time – no matter what!
The only way you can act around your brother’s girlfriend with maturity is to simply be polite. Smile and pretend as if you enjoy her company; don’t act like you cannot stand to be around this person. Treat her as part of the family from the start.
If you really dislike your brother, you have a few options. You can steer clear of family functions that he’ll be at. It’s not wrong to want to be around pleasant people rather than those we don’t enjoy being around. Also, ignore him or confide in a close friend!
This is a tough question to answer because many times, once a relationship is messed up, it’s hard to repair it. If you have several brothers who you don’t like, you should work on finding common ground with them and spending more quality time together.
If you don’t enjoy the company of your sister’s boyfriend, you should try to avoid family events where they will be. She may one day get married to this guy, but you can talk to your sister before this happens. Explain that you don’t think she’s making a wise choice!
If your brother or sister drives you crazy, you can definitely dislike them, but typically you love them deep inside of your heart because they are part of your family. If you don’t like spending time with your brother or sister, try to avoid them! It works for me!!
Has your brother brought home a girl you dislike? Imagine if she hates you, too! How do you survive a family gathering when someone you despise is brought to the party? We’d love to hear your opinion on hating your brother’s girlfriend! Please share!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.