I Don’t Trust My Husband (7 Ways to Handle the Mistrust)

Are you in a position right now where you feel like your marriage is getting to a stage of divorce and this is because you don’t trust your husband? Maybe you have tried to make a conscious effort to trust him even though everything doesn’t look like you should. As much as you are trying to, you still keep finding yourself in a position where you constantly ask questions like why don't you trust your husband?

When you lose the trust you have for your man, rebuilding trust can be difficult but not impossible. For you to be able to trust him, this will take a lot of work. When couples have such an issue, it doesn't just start in one day. Most times, this is due to past mistakes, changes in behavior, or even infidelity.

But in some cases, this could be due to lack of communication, change of priorities, and many other reasons. When these reasons are not tackled with care, it can lead to a divorce. No matter how you got to this point in your relationship, if you want to fix things up with him it is very possible. 

Just follow me and see what you can do about this. Here are 7 things you can do about it.

7 Things To Do When You Don’t Trust Your Husband

1. Study your man

Be observant. As a married woman, it is very important to study your husband. You are a couple and you should know when something is not right with your significant other. Your intuition should tell you. So if you notice anything weird or awkward about him, you can ask him about it. 

There is a reason you are losing the trust you have for your husband. You may not have any evidence but you are in doubt because of your intuition and your instinct is mostly right. Your instinct is a tangible enough source of information, you just know when something is off. 

Observe both his verbal and non-verbal attitudes so you can know when he is deceiving or manipulating you. If you ignore your intuition and signs of mistrust and let him manipulate you, then you may be on the expressway to doom and regret.

2. When you don’t believe your husband, talk to him about it

when you don't believe your husband, talk to him about it

Speak up, talk to him about how you feel, and let him take it up to himself to fix the situation and prove that he is worthy of your trust again. It may not be easy, but speaking up will help protect your inner peace and give you calmness within. It’s a good way to sort out trust-related problems in a relationship.

Don’t be harsh about it and don’t turn a dialogue session into a fight session. Be mindful of your words. Listen to him and understand him but do not be manipulated

Control yourself and be mindful of little things. Is he willing to be honest with you and gain your trust back? Or, if he is just nonchalant and he doesn’t care about the issues you are having, it means you have to decide if you want to live with a guy who doesn’t want improvement.

3. Disbelief, shock, and grief

Some stages come with having trust concerns in your relationship with your husband. So, allow yourself to go through these stages. There was probably a time you believed him and when you found out he cheated or lied or when your suspicions were right.

There was this part of you wallowing in disbelief. You may even find evidence that proves he is wrong but you are still in disbelief because it’s very painful going through betrayal, and knowing someone you gave your trust broke it. After that phase, you get into shock and it is very normal and healthy to go through it. I believe you will come out stronger. 

You will also grieve your lost trust or your marriage if you choose to walk away. Even if you don’t get a divorce, you will feel grief because it’s hard to accept a guy for who he is now. It’s also hard to live with him knowing he betrayed your trust. Whatever you do, do not let your sadness grow into anger because it can become disastrous then. So, take your time, be sober, but make sure you get over it and move on.

4. Face reality

Before doing this make sure you have good reasons why you shouldn't believe him. Don't just jump to a conclusion. Rather, have a conversation with him. See his reaction and get your facts right. I will let you know that broken trust can be healed in time. So, face the reality of your relationship and decide if you want to save your marriage or not. Instead of lying to yourself and refusing to accept the obvious truth, it is your problem, face it head-on. 

I know there are a lot of reasons you shouldn't believe your husband. You must have gone through his text messages and seen some really awful conversation or found out he is cheating. Or maybe he is merely acting suspiciously. You don’t have to shy out of the reality of your situation. And don't forget when facing the reality, if you know you can't believe him anymore, it is better you walk away than stay in an uncertain relationship.

5. Think, think, and think again

think think and think again

You must take time to think from the point the distrust started creeping in. Also, be sure this wasn't all just in your head and if it wasn't this doesn't mean you guys can't work things out. Your marriage may become stronger after this mistrust. So when things get settled, things may bounce back so much better and your love will become stronger than ever. That’s why you shouldn’t decide in a haste.

Also, you may feel the need for a separation because of the betrayal but this may not be the solution here. People learn, change, grow, and evolve. So, before you make any decision. Think about it thoroughly. Your relationship is probably at the point where you need to be strong and protect your marriage the most. 

Nothing is certain here. Some marriages survive after infidelity, some thrive, some die while some blossom. Don’t be one of those women who make decisions in a haste and regret it later. So think things through well. All relationships have its ups and downs and while thinking things through, make sure you communicate with him, to know where he stands.

6. Closure

Closure here doesn’t mean lock yourself up in a room and cry to stupor or hide your feelings from the world, no. Closure and privacy are important in marriage. So do not tell your problem to or take advice from every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Protect your private space. 

Talking to someone about your trust issues in your marriage can be helpful. It can help you to heal faster and give you a better understanding of things but seeking advice from friends, co-workers, family, lawyers, counselors, therapists, and all others can cause more harm than good.

It could be very exhausting and tiring for you, explaining the same issue over and over again to different people. Do not drain yourself. You can talk to one or two people but in the end, you have to decide whether you would be able to stay in the marriage or you want a divorce

7. Let him earn your trust

let him earn your trust

Feeling secure in marriage is very important. When a woman gives her heart and loyalty to a guy, it is only normal to expect it back. In a healthy marriage, both the wife and husband are supposed to feel safe so if a time comes that you no longer feel secure in your relationship. Pay attention to it and let your husband earn that trust back.

It is not something that should be automatically given. Before you both got married, he had to woo you, gain your heart and your trust; so he should be able to do it again if you are losing that trust now. You are a married couple, therefore accountable to each other to walk things out. So, don't just let me act nonchalant toward this, he must be able to fight to save his marriage.

FAQs

What happens when you don’t trust your husband? 

This could lead to a divorce, trust is a very vital key in relationships. When it isn’t there you may feel unsafe around your husband, you lose confidence in him, you become insecure and most times you just assume the worst can happen.

What to do when you don’t trust your husband? 

Don’t just back out from the situation, try tackling it. I listed 7 things you can do when you find yourself in this position. So just read through it and everything will be ok.

Should you be with someone you don’t trust? 

No, don't ever try this. If you don’t trust him, then don’t go for him because this can affect your mental health and peace of mind greatly. If you don’t trust each other, then on what foundation are you building your relationship.

Will I ever trust my husband again? 

Yes, you can, this is your decision to make though. You can once you are ready to deal with your fears, forgive him and forget what happened. Then deal with all the negative thoughts you have about him. This doesn’t just happen all at once, but just take things one step at a time.

What are the signs of a guilty husband? 

He isn't always available, he becomes a social media freak, he becomes protective of his phone, his love expression towards you gradually changes, your sex life becomes cold, he starts acting up every time and picking up unnecessary arguments.

In Conclusion 

I hope you found this article helpful. Separation isn't the best option. Don't forget you took vows and promised for better or worse. So talk to him and clear your doubts—communication will go a long way in this situation. Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.

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