One thing many people look forward to when dating someone they like is the first kiss. They have probably imagined, prepared for it, and hoped it will be everything and more than they imagined. So what happens when you don’t enjoy kissing? Before I answer that, it’s important to assure you that there’s nothing strange about detesting kisses.
However, it’s vital to ascertain why you hate kissing in the first place. Are you making this decision based on previous sloppy and bad experiences, are you concerned your kissing skills will be sub-par, or you just don’t enjoy kissing? If it’s the latter, then that’s probably not how you like to be shown affection, and it’s understandable.
I know you’re worried about what your partner will think about not having the luxury to kiss you, however, there are a few ways you can work around it. I have listed 7 tips below for ladies who don’t like to kiss but still want their partner to enjoy the chemistry between them.
- 1 7 Ways Your Relationship Can Survive Without Kissing
- 1.1 1. Skip the mouth and caress their face instead
- 1.2 2. Figure out what else he enjoys doing
- 1.3 3. Cuddle and hug him more
- 1.4 4. Increase physical touch in public and private
- 1.5 5. Ensure you’re not making this decision because of a bad experience
- 1.6 6. Spend time staring and gazing at each other passionately
- 1.7 7. Make sure your boyfriend is on the same page as you
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Summary
7 Ways Your Relationship Can Survive Without Kissing
1. Skip the mouth and caress their face instead
Your boyfriend would appreciate alternatives to having the pleasure of kissing you, and that’s why it’s important to be strategic and sensual here. You want to improve intimacy and keep the passion going without making him feel like you love him less. So, if you hate kissing, that’s okay. There are other fun and passionate ways to connect as a couple.
Show him how much you love and adore him by kissing his face, or even rubbing your nose, cheeks, or forehead against his face. That’ll still stir up feelings of attachment and show him what it feels like to experience those same warm and pleasurable feelings without making any contact with your tongue or lips.
So rather than simply going straight to sex without any fun foreplay, play around with his cheeks, you can open your mouth slightly and breath on his ear sensually, do a nose rub, and the likes. Ensure you take note of what he enjoys as you explore.
2. Figure out what else he enjoys doing
What do you do when one kind of pleasurable action is off the table? You look for alternatives, right? Exactly! Don’t be boring and just jump straight to sex. You may not feel like having his tongue on yours, but there are other things or places you can kiss. Also, don’t just focus on his face, go down to his throat, his chest area, his arms, and even his stomach.
Depending on the kind of relationship you have, his body is yours to explore, so go ahead and be a freak unless he tells you he doesn’t enjoy something as well, then it’s your turn to be understanding.
3. Cuddle and hug him more
The way you warm up to your boyfriend will determine how much he misses kissing. It’s important to still show him how much you love and adore him by getting close to him in other ways. Cuddles may seem basic, but if you’re still very ‘hot for each other’, it won’t matter how you touch him, it will be appreciated.
Whether you’re in the kitchen, on the couch, on the terrace, or in the bedroom, hug him passionately. Bury your head into his chest, rest your cheeks where his heartbeats, and cuddle him closely. This will improve the attachment you have as a couple, and improve intimacy between both of you.
4. Increase physical touch in public and private
So, if you’ve crossed kissing off the list, it’s important to get as physical as you can, whenever you can. Don’t just limit physical touch to the home. Do that when you’re both out as well. However, you have to ensure that your partner is open to public displays of affection.
If he is, then go ahead and peck on his cheeks, hug him when he says or does something nice, or caress his chest. If he’s not so keen about public displays of affection, then simple gestures like holding his hands, brushing your skin against his, or interloping your pinky fingers will still suffice.
5. Ensure you’re not making this decision because of a bad experience
There are some couples who haven’t kissed in years because they had one bad experience. The truth is, kissing is a major part of intimacy, and taking that off the table may be as serious as crossing sex out for some men.
So you have to ensure it’s an innate feeling you have towards kissing, and not the fact that your partner had bad breath, or was a tacky kisser the first time you’re tongues touched. Give him the benefit of doubt, and keep trying for a while.
You can watch videos on youtube or even give him some pointers. It’s possible that both of you (or one) are getting the basics wrong, and that’s what’s making the experience ‘distasteful’.
6. Spend time staring and gazing at each other passionately
Your partner might be okay with kissing being off the table, but that just means you have to work harder when building up intimacy. The truth is, these moments don’t even have to lead up to sex, it just shows how deeply in love and connected you are as a couple and keeps those steamy feelings alive.
Once in a while, or maybe even every night, spend some time gazing at him, even though he’s not paying attention. Let him catch you staring at him sensually, then you can even turn his face to yours while both of you gaze at each other intensely, the aftermath of doing that is solely up to you.
7. Make sure your boyfriend is on the same page as you
All these tips won’t work if your partner is not on the same page with you, especially if you’re in a committed relationship. So before ruling out kissing, make sure your husband agrees totally, so he won’t still try to convince you otherwise by kissing you anyway.
Sit down, have an adult conversation, and ask him if he’s willing to compromise that. If he’s okay with it, then you’ll have a smoother transition to exploring other intimate touches rather than facing that awkward “should I kiss you now” or “have you changed your mind yet” stare.
Yes, not everyone likes the idea of lip-locking with their partner, especially people who are particular about their oral hygiene. The thought of having someone else’s tongue in their mouth doesn’t stir up any good feelings at all. However, it’s important to figure out why you feel this way, and if the reasons are trivial or final.
As long as your partner understands why you don’t enjoy kissing, and it doesn’t compromise your sex life, then relationships can work without the mouth-to-mouth action. However, couples like this would have to talk it over and compromise on what’s acceptable, and what is not.
For example, can they lightly plant a kiss on your lips? Is a peck on the forehead or cheek okay? Would it be okay if they kissed you but not evasively? Such boundaries need to be discussed.
The lips are very sensitive, and that’s why it’s one of the fastest ways to stir things up right before sex. So kissing a guy on his lower lip is something he’ll certainly enjoy, because of the high concentration of nerve endings just waiting to ripple the pleasure through the entire body. You should also explore his neck, arms, ears, and chest area to give him maximum pleasure.
There’s this passionate and intimately warm feeling that courses through a guy’s body if he enjoyed the kiss. However, if it wasn’t quite right, he may not have enjoyed it at all, and you’ll know by the way he responds when your lips touch again.
When you kiss a guy, there’s an immediate chemical reaction that causes a passionate rush through his body. That’s because there’s a release of oxytocin, a feel-good hormone that stirs up affectionate and intimate feelings.
Kissing is a big deal to both men and women, but the truth is, not everyone enjoys it. If your partner is on board and doesn’t mind, the tips above will help you enjoy a fun and passionate relationship regardless. Did you enjoy reading through this list? Then kindly leave a comment below, and share this article with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.