I Don’t Like French Kissing (9 Reasons Some People Hate French Kissing)

Why does serious kissing appear important during teen years, but seem less appealing as adults? You could say inexperience makes swapping spit, even with a bad kisser, not bad at all. Your pleasure interest evolves from a naïve girl trying to know what pleases her to a grown woman who knows what she wants. 

Some studies reveal that most married couples even do less French kissing than they did when they were still dating. These studies suggested that many couples hate French kissing because of their increased responsibility for family raising. After a hectic day at work and taking care of kids, married couples just want to have sex without prolonged French kissing. 

Kissing with another person’s tongue in your mouth can be a bit irritating, especially if you’re not used to this kissing style. Do you like to kiss a lot, but your partner doesn’t seem to get what you like? Does he love using his entire tongue always, while you’d prefer he nibble on your lips instead? You’re not alone in the way you feel.

While most men love it, some women hate French kissing for many reasons. The French kiss can be enjoyable, but most people in a relationship don’t get it right. Below are some of the reasons why you hate French kissing. These tips will help you correct your boyfriend on how he can do the French kiss technique better with you.

9 Reasons Some People Hate French Kissing

1. He just wants to engage in a tongue war

The French kiss is a technique that needs to be done well if both parties are to enjoy it. You can have a good partner who is bad at kissing. It doesn’t mean he cannot perfect the French kiss, it just might take lots of practice to do so. You would hate the French kiss if your boyfriend is always using his tongue as though there’s a tongue war going on.

His inability to maintain the right tempo with both of your tongues is one of the reasons you’d rather stick to kissing with the lips only. Trust in a relationship goes beyond keeping each other’s secrets.

Trust regarding your sexuality and what turns you on are just as important. It is easier to trust someone who not only knows what he’s doing but is also willing to do things in a way that’ll please you.

If he is always stabbing your tongue with his, tell him. If he cares about your pleasure he will adjust, and you can give French kissing another try.

2. He introduces his tongue too soon

The rule of thumb for any sensual kissing session is to start kissing your partner slowly. The lips are underrated, but couples will experience immense pleasure if only they can focus more on gently nibbling and mashing their lips together. 

One reason you hate to be French kissed is that your partner opens his mouth and introduces his tongue too soon. While kisses are part of foreplay, the moment tongues are involved, the sexual play escalates. 

A woman can still hold back from going to third base even with the tongue involved. However, a deep kiss involving the tongue is an intimate act for a man. He goes mindless with passion and moves on to seriously caress other parts of your body.

If you enjoy taking your time while sharing a real kiss without the tongue, you might be disappointed he is moving on too soon.

3. He doesn’t ask what you want

An unfortunate truth is that most men don’t care to ask their women what they want during sex. They even care less when it comes to French kissing. A man will assume the woman is enjoying the kiss because duh, he is a stud in bed. He doesn’t ask if he should go slow or fast, he just dives right in.

If you’ve been involved in a sex-related accident, you’d be easily triggered by anything similar to the trauma. For example, if your partner assumes you’re ready for rough French kissing and he mistakenly bites your inner lip. You see blood in your mouth and start panicking. 

The situation could have been easily averted if he asked what you needed. However, he'd have only succeeded in increasing your phobia for the French kiss.

4. His teeth always get in the way

his teeth always get in the way

Even though people don’t like to see kissing as an intimate thing, kissing is a type of oral sex. The same way your man wouldn’t want you to bite his penis while going down on him is the same way he should be careful with his teeth during the French kiss. 

In his excitement, your man might become aggressive and careless with his tongue. It might be sexy for his teeth to gently bite your lips, but there’s nothing sexy about his teeth clashing with yours. To get pleasure from French kissing, tell him to control his teeth to avoid uncomfortable grinding.

5. He doesn’t allow tongue dancing

It’s been established that French kissing isn’t a tug of war. However, it is a sensual dance that will increase the passion between a couple. When done properly, you can exchange French kisses for a long duration and find that alone satisfying. This means you can French your man without having sex that minute.

However, if your boyfriend is not open to learning how to dance with your tongue, you’ll never like intimate kissing. Help him understand that he should start the kiss with sexy pecks on the lips. Then he can gently swipe his tongue across the seams of your lips which will make you open your mouth. 

So, rather than forcing your mouth open with his tongue, you’ll respond faster if he dances first with your lips, then your tongue. 

You’ll gladly let him suck on your tongue if he takes the time to suck on your lips first. You won’t be afraid because you suck on his tongue he’ll speed up unnecessarily. He would’ve learned that what works for you determines his pleasure too.

6. He always keeps your tongues glued together

Some people kiss like it’s a chore to do so, but kissing is supposed to be enjoyable. Another reason you avoid the deep kind of kiss is that your boyfriend doesn’t come up for air. The moment you start kissing, he doesn’t draw apart so you can get some needed air.

He is glued to your mouth not because he is after your pleasure, but because that’s how he likes to kiss. Also, this gluing method doesn’t allow for teasing, which most women love. If he doesn’t tease you with his tongue and mouth, you feel he’s being too forward. As such, it’s like he’s enjoying it without your participation.

7. He has bad breath

Oral hygiene is a definite criterion for determining a good kisser. Except you have bad breath too or you don’t mind the way he smells, you’ll find his bad breath annoying.

Regardless of how much you like him, you’ll detest kissing if his oral health is poor. It will be difficult enough to engage in light kisses without the tongue. There’s no way you’ll endure swapping spit with him without being offensive.

If his bad breath is a health condition, you might want to avoid deep kissing till it can be treated. If it’s easily treatable with constant brushing and flossing, encourage him to do so. Licking minty candies before each passionate kiss would help too.

8. He doesn’t touch you anywhere else

he doesn't touch you anywhere else

When you kiss, you’re not supposed to just focus on each other’s mouths while the rest of your body remains dormant. Depending on the level of familiarity between you and your partner, you should let your hands roam free.

If you’re both comfortable enough to go to second base, you can hold his face while you dance with his mouth. You can move your hand across his chest and let him pull you closer. You should feel the kiss through your whole body, not just on your face. Except it’s a bad one, the kiss should ignite your pleasure and desire to touch each other more.

9. He is only chasing his pleasure

It takes just one bad kiss to know how sex would be with your partner. It doesn’t mean the sex will be always bad, but it won’t be very good for you if you like to kiss a lot. How attentive is he to your needs every step of the way? 

If he goes too fast with everything, you can be sure he is only after his own pleasure. It is hard, but the reality is far from the picture romance authors paint. You won’t always want fast-paced foreplay or sex. As such, if slow works for you, that’s what you’ll enjoy. Tell your man to slow down and ensure you get pleasure from the act too.


Is not liking kissing normal?

As unbelievable as it might seem, some people don’t like to kiss. It could be a result of a bad experience with an impatient or unhygienic partner. It will take an experienced and patient partner to make them kiss again. 

Why is French kissing such a turn-on?

When you kiss, your brain triggers a chemical reaction and releases oxytocin which is a love hormone. This hormone makes you feel affection for your partner and you want to be as close to him as possible. 

What is the point of French kissing?

When you French-kiss, you’re letting the other person know that you trust them enough to allow them into your mouth; risk of germs or not. A simpler explanation is that you like and desire the person in the basest form.

Why do guys not like kissing?

Some guys don’t do it because they don’t think it contributes to their arousal for a girl. Men are visual-driven, so they don’t necessarily need to kiss before they get aroused. 

How does a guy feel after kissing a girl?

If the girl allows to be kissed, and the guy likes it, he will take that as an invitation to do more sensual things. 

To Conclude 

Many couples go all their lives without doing much French kissing. However, their love life would probably be better if they kissed a lot more. With sufficient practice, anyone can be good at and enjoy French-kissing.

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