So you love your partner so much, and you don’t want anything to break your relationship, but there’s just one little problem, you don’t like your partner's friends!
They are not the kind of people you will want to spend time with and if you’re honest, his friends don’t like you too.
If you love your partner, it is important to spend time with his family and friends, you should be able to love those around your partner. If you don’t get to know them, you’re practically deciding not to explore a certain side of your partner.
You must know that a relationship doesn’t just involve you and your partner alone, but also those around you. However, it’s harder when your partner’s close circle isn’t the best people to hang around.
Have you ever asked yourself if it’s compulsory to hang out with your boyfriend’s friends? Mostly when you feel like his friends don’t like you? Then below are 9 ways you can handle this especially if he is so attached to them.
- 1 9 Things To Do If You Don’t Like Your Boyfriend's Friends
- 2 FAQs
- 3 In Conclusion
9 Things To Do If You Don’t Like Your Boyfriend's Friends
1. Tell him about it
If you feel like you don’t like your boyfriend s friends then be honest about it, talk to him. Your partner should know how you feel about his mates, but don’t just say it rudely, so it doesn’t feel awkward or harsh.
If you’re rude, it won’t help the situation. Imagine if your partner spoke about your friends derogatively, it could lead to issues between both of you. But if you need to tell him, do use a non-confrontational approach and maybe this could lead to a positive change.
2. Get support
Yes! Get support from your partner, he knows his friends, and he loves them and he also sees the good in them that you don’t see, so ask him about them.
Ask him to share nice memories, like how he met them, where they met, and what really made them bond. Let him tell you some stories and moments he had shared with them. It may be so interesting you’d find yourself laughing hard.
You may also realize they are not as bad as you thought after all, and that may help you change your mind about them. You should learn to give people a chance and get to know them before giving the final judgment.
3. Never ask him to choose between you and his friends
This is one thing you mustn't do, it's horrible. He has a life and he probably had those friends before meeting you or getting into a relationship with you.
No matter the situation or scenery, no one has the right to choose friends or associations for each other. The fact that you are his girlfriend doesn’t give you the liberty to do so. So don’t put your man in a position where he has to choose between you and his friends, it’s a wrong move to make.
4. Avoid them
If you dislike your boyfriend's friends then don’t spend time with them, unless it is very necessary. When you avoid them, your boyfriend will definitely feel that you and his friends don’t get along, but it’s better than a clash.
As long as you know where you stand with your partner and you are sure of your place in his life, just avoid his friends, and focus on making your love life better.
5. Are you jealous
This question isn’t for him to answer, it’s for you. So, ask yourself “Why do I disdain my boyfriend’s friends? Am I just jealous?”
Maybe the only reason you think you hate them is that you are jealous. Although you know your man doesn’t have any romantic relationship with his friends, he surely spends time with them.
When your partner spends more time hanging out with a friend than he does with you, this could make you think that you dislike his friends but your reason may actually be envy. So check yourself, this is something that can lead to hatred; is this about them or it is about you?
6. Make an effort to know them
The reason you dislike them could be because you don’t know them. Most times, people are different from how they seem and you will only realize that if you get close to them.
Because a person dresses ruggedly doesn't mean they are thugs, when you get close to them, you may realize they are just calm, peaceful, and such sweethearts. You know these people are close to your boyfriend and they will have one or two similarities with your partner, they may be really cool.
If you can love your partner, you can love them as well, or at least tolerate them. So consciously make an effort to know them.
7. He is not your toy
Your boyfriend is a man, he is human, he has a will of his own and a mind to think for himself. So, think of this next time you want to order him around. Don’t toy around with him or be too controlling.
It’s one thing for you to dislike his friends then it’s another thing entirely when you try to stop him from hanging out with them, he enjoys his time out with them and those moments make him feel good, so why be a killjoy?
It can really get dangerous for you when you constantly stop him from hanging out with his friends, it will surely have a negative effect on the relationship, and trust me girl, you do not want to lose your relationship with your boyfriend just because you have issues with his friends.
8. Control your emotions
You are a strong lady and you are emotionally intelligent, so make sure you are always in control of your emotions. Don’t let your connection with his friends stress you out. Do not spend all your time and energy bothering about this until it ruins your entire day, and don’t get worked out over this.
I mean, you don’t live with them or have to spend time with them every second, so calm down and protect your mental health. Control your attitude and words when you are around them, do not create unnecessary tension so everybody doesn’t end up feeling uncomfortable with you looking like the toxic one.
9. Be sensitive to red flags
Having opened up to your boyfriend about how you feel about his friends, be sensitive, nobody likes it when their partner doesn’t like their friends.
Yes, there are times his close circle may be misleading or even endangering his life. In such cases, it’s important to speak up and probably tell a family member or friend he respects.
However, if they are just plain annoying, and your boyfriend wants to help you bridge the gap, allow him. Now, if he knows that you don’t like his friends and he makes no effort to facilitate a relationship then consider that a cause for alarm.
He should invite you along with them to see whether you all can get along, but when he doesn’t, he’s probably accepted that a relationship between you and his friends is something that would have to bud on its own.
I have given 9 ways to handle this, but the most important thing is communication. You must talk to your partner when such issues arise. And don’t forget you are not in a position to choose your boyfriend’s friends.
This could be because you didn’t start off with them on a good note, or maybe they hate you, or you could have different values and beliefs from them. The worst is if they try to make you feel less of yourself.
No, it isn't. But this depends on how you feel about the person. If you guys get closer to each other than you are with your friend, then something is definitely not right.
Be jovial with them, love them the way they are, show them you care, be free around them, but this doesn't mean you shouldn't be composed when you are around his friend group. Don't pretend to be who you aren't and don't try impressing them too much.
Yes, it is perfectly ok, but boundaries must be set, if she isn't respecting those boundaries then he must cut his relationship with her. You are meant to be his favorite friend not someone else.
I hope you found this article helpful? If you don’t like your boyfriend’s mates, something you must know is you are not alone in this; people feel the same way you feel too. Probably, his friends don’t like you too. But your ability to work on yourself and your relationship makes you better than those who backed out or ruined things. Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.