Mistakes happen. However, not all of these mistakes are forgivable. Neither are they all easy to move on from. One particular example is cheating on your husband. Cheating on your husband breaks trust, and the marriage is never the same after that. But experience has taught me that in most relationships, there is hope that you can get your husband back.
Not all guys can easily forget the betrayal of being cheated on. If you only want your ex-boyfriend back because you are bored, I suggest that the best thing you should do right now is to skip this article. I say this because you would only be wasting your time. But if not, I guess you are willing to put in the necessary work to get him back.
The first thing you would want to do is think through and know if the marriage is worth pursuing. If the answer is yes, I bet the next question running in your head is, “I cheated on my husband. How do I get him back?” Here are nine ways how.
- 0.1 9 Ways To Get Your Husband Back
- 0.1.1 1. Do not deny that you cheated
- 0.1.2 2. Give him his space
- 0.1.3 3. Put him first
- 0.1.4 4. Let him know that you are sorry without being overbearing
- 0.1.5 5. Think about what you did
- 0.1.6 6. Cut ties with the other guy
- 0.1.7 7. Separate yourself from friends who encourage you to cheat on your husband
- 0.1.8 8. Always look good
- 0.1.9 9. Listen to him
- 0.2 FAQs
- 0.3 The Bottomline
9 Ways To Get Your Husband Back
1. Do not deny that you cheated
Once the truth that you have cheated comes out, expect some harsh words and a side of your spouse that you never saw. It is a fact that men are more affected and unforgiving towards women who cheat. It would be a bad idea to start the blame game. One common excuse the cheating girlfriend spews out is that the boyfriend is never available in the relationship.
This is bound to anger your guy and worsen your chances of reviving the relationship with him. Admit that you committed a wicked and inconsiderate act. Apologize for it. Even if the ex-boyfriend was the reason that you cheated, admitting it at that particular moment is not the right thing to do.
This humility will not automatically make your boyfriend accept you, but this non-verbal act can convince your husband to get back together with you.
2. Give him his space
Take advantage of the no-contact rule. The no-contact rule dictates that you have minimum contact with your ex-boyfriend. This means not engaging with his posts on social media, calling him, texting, or seeing him. This is an essential strategy used to get together with your husband. However, many people fail at it miserably.
Statistics reveal that almost 95% of people who made use of this rule were able to get back together with their partners. This is important so that you both decide whether you both want to be in the marriage. It is also to allow your ex-boyfriend time to heal from the betrayal. At this point, you would have to be tolerant, patient, and understanding of his position.
3. Put him first
One of the best ways you can get your husband back is to put him first. It is time to put yourself second for a while and engage him. Let all your acts and inactions let him know that you still want him with you in the marriage. Pay special attention to his needs, even if this means being at his favorite events or changing your interests to suit his.
Also, do things for him that would make him happy. Be that couple you were from the beginning when the bond was so strong. And, even if it may seem unlikely that he would believe it, tell him that you love him and that he means a lot to you. Show him affection. Let him know that you appreciate him both in the big and small ways too.
4. Let him know that you are sorry without being overbearing
You are indeed very sorry that you cheated and have apologized. Maintain your dignity. Do not be overbearing, else you will appear like a pathetic and desperate wife. Desperate people are hard to deal with because sometimes, they don’t know their limits. That should never be the case. Imagine your ex-boyfriend had an affair, and you found out and feel that he has broken your trust.
In his bid to prove how sorry he is, he keeps blowing up your phone with texts. He always wants to see you and tries to go to places where you frequent so that he will apologize to you. Though done with the best of intentions, all these acts would seem so desperate and repulsive to you. You may even tend to avoid him. So that is what it looks like.
What you both need is some time away from each other.
5. Think about what you did
Another way you can get him back is to think extensively about what you did and take responsibility for it. Consider questions like what made you cheat; such as why you cheated. Then, focus on your personal growth.
And if you realize that you need help, seek it. The aim of analyzing your actions is not for it to end there. The objective is to prevent you from committing that atrocious act again.
You ought to think about all these “having an affair” triggering factors to enable you to spot when you can cheat miles away before it happens. This step is to help you make a conscious effort not to cheat. Your husband does not necessarily have to know about this exercise because it is something you have to do by and for yourself.
6. Cut ties with the other guy
The thing about cheating in all relationships is that it creates a lot of trust issues. Your boyfriend has to see that you have made a deliberate decision to cut ties with the other guy. This means if the guy you had an affair with is at the same workplace, you will have to consider working at a different place or in another department.
Your husband is going to be very suspicious of you for a very long time, and you will have to tolerate that. That is why you have to be very sure that it is worth it if you get him back.
7. Separate yourself from friends who encourage you to cheat on your husband
I understand that you ought to surround yourself with friends who are very loyal to the friendship. This is generally a good thing. But when you realize that your friends are always encouraging you to cheat on your husband, and they do an excellent job of covering up for you, then you need to realize that it is time to have new friends.
And since you do not subscribe to their ideology of infidelity anymore, they will leave you alone. Your boyfriend may realize this and see how serious you are in gaining his trust.
8. Always look good
You may think your ex-boyfriend is not noticing you, given the break in the relationship. However, men are visual creatures. And while you may be going through this phase in the relationship where you are not your boyfriend's favorite person, find a way to remind him why you should be. Make deliberate efforts to always look beautiful. It is hard for men to say no to beautiful women.
9. Listen to him
After giving your husband some time off, perhaps after a month, reach out to him. Try to find out his verdict about the relationship. It may seem overrated but listen to whatever he is telling you. Even if you think you don't need to be reminded of your affair several times, listen to what he has to say.
To be able to get your man back after you cheated, you need to make the necessary efforts to get him to trust you again. Some of these include cutting ties with the other man and making sure that you always look irresistible. You could also put yourself in the backseat and try to make your man know that she matters.
The pain associated with infidelity can last forever and can change a person’s sentiment about one’s spouse.
If he loves you enough to forgive you after you cheated, it means he will come back. However, it also depends on your efforts as to whether you are sorry you cheated on him or not.
It would be a very good idea if you didn't go back to a cheater because it would make the whole relationship unbalanced. You may be the caring faithful one caring for the unfaithful partner who cheats and does not value the efforts you put in making the relationship work. Again, it is known that once a person cheats, he or she is likely to cheat again.
You should also consider that you may not be fully able to trust your partner for a long time once he/she has had a history of cheating.
To end here, I cannot guarantee that these ways are sure ways to save your marriage, but it is worth the try. If after following these guides and he reaches out, do your best not to mess it up by cheating again. You would scar him for good. And also, take it easy on yourself. The fact that you made an error does not mean you cannot move on from it.
I hope you like this piece. Let me know what you think about it in the comments section.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.