17 Signs He Is Selfish (And How To Deal With It)

Whether you have been with your husband for a while and only recently has he developed somewhat selfish tendencies, or he has always been like that, it is important that you don’t just ignore it, especially if it is making you unhappy. 

Relationships are about balance and give and take, so if it is all one-sided, you have a major problem.

If your husband seems to always think about himself, and never about you, you may be unhappy in your marriage with him. If you are both independent people, it may work out, you may even have similar characteristics to him. 

However, if you do everything you can for him and he never does anything for you, it is likely going to lead to unhappiness. 

Relationships should be about looking after one another and do nice random things to make each other happy every day. However, if your husband is selfish and only ever thinks about himself, you may be wondering whether this is the right relationship for you. It is important to have a conversation and communicate your feelings with him. 

Keep reading for the signs he is selfish and what you should do about it. 

Is He Selfish? (What Can You Do About It?)

Having a husband that is selfish can be a traumatic and heartbreaking thing, especially if he never used to be like that. When you were dating he may have always thought of ways to please you and make you happy, but he never does things like that anymore. You may be wondering what changed and whether it is your fault. 

In any relationship situation like this, it is important that you don’t blame yourself. Your husband is at fault for acting selfishly. However, it is up to you to bring the matter to his attention. He may have become so wrapped up in himself and his own life that he doesn’t realize how he has been treating you. Communicate your feelings before it gets too late. 

If you are unhappy in a relationship, it is vital that you bring up your concerns and feelings as soon as possible, so that resentment doesn’t build up. As soon as resentment starts to build between you, it may be impossible to go back to where you used to be. Communicate honestly with your husband about how he has been making you feel, don’t ignore the situation any longer.

1. He Has Changed 

he has changed

If your husband used to be a kind and caring person, but recently his personality has changed, it may be a sign that he is selfish. If he used to do everything to ensure your happiness and wellbeing, but now only cares about himself, it is a sign that you have a selfish partner. Communicate your feelings with him before it is too late to fix things between you. 

2. He Always Was

Perhaps you got married soon after meeting each other and you have only just started to realize his selfish behavior. Maybe you lied to yourself when you were dating or promised yourself that things would get better once you were married, but that is likely not the case. Think carefully about what you want and whether this relationship is really right for your happiness. 

3. You Are Frustrated

Do you always feel frustrated with your partner and wish that he would see you are unhappy. This is a sign of selfish behavior. If your partner wasn’t so wrapped up in himself he would likely see how you are feeling and do everything he could to change that. However, if he doesn’t even notice that you are no longer happy, it is a sign of a selfish person. 

4. He Only Looks Out For Himself

Whether it be that he only ever orders a takeaway for himself and never asks you, or he just washes his own clothes and never offers to do yours, these are signs of a selfish spouse. If these tendencies are making you unhappy, it is important that you don’t ignore the situation. Either talk to your spouse and ask him to change or think about walking away from him. 

5. He Prioritizes Himself

If your partner never prioritizes you in his schedule it is a sign of a selfish husband. If your husband is busy at work but never makes time for you, it is not a good sign of a caring and loving husband. If this is just a short spell then there is no need to worry, however, if this is a long-term occurrence, it is time to speak up about how you are feeling. 

6. He’s An Only Child

If your husband is an only child, it may be that he has been inherently selfish since his childhood. He is used to being the only important thing and he never had to share anything with anyone before. Now you are married you should be sharing various aspects of your life together, however, he seems unable to do so even though he may love you. 

7. You Have Just Had A Child

Perhaps your husband has started acting selfishly since you have had your first child together. He may not know how to act and is reacting badly to having to share you with another person. You spent the other years of your relationship as just the two of you and now he is having a hard time adjusting to having a child in the picture too. He feels out and craves attention, making him act selfishly. 

8. He Is Stressed

he is stressed

If your partner is stressed about something, it may be making him act in this selfish way. Perhaps he is having issues at work, financially, or with his family and this is causing him to act this way. While it is unfortunate that he is going through a stressful time, it does not mean that he should take it out on you and completely disregard your needs. 

9. He Is Busy At Work

If your husband is extremely busy at work, it may translate into selfish behavior at home. Perhaps he has had stress all day at work and once he arrives home, the only thing that he wants to think about is himself. He may not even realize that he is acting like this. Make sure you make it clear to him about how he is making you feel. 

10. He Expects Too Much 

Perhaps your husband had a preconceived idea of your marriage or had set overly high expectations for married life that is now making him act selfishly because these expectations were not met. This is something that you need to talk about with your husband. Don’t let this one thing go as things may get worse in the future if you ignore the situation. 

11. He Feels Left Out

If your life is going really well at the moment, your partner may be acting selfishly because he feels left out. Perhaps you have just received a promotion at work or you have just landed your dream job doing something that you love. He may be resentful that things are changing and he is not your main priority anymore. Make sure to communicate with one another. 

12. He Doesn’t Care About Your Interests

Whenever you talk about your hobbies and interests, selfish people won’t pay attention, ask questions or listen to what you have to say. If your husband never listens to what you say when you are talking about the things you love, he may be a selfish person. Selfish people are only bothered about things that directly affect them. 

13. He Is Controlling 

Husbands that are selfish are often also controlling. If you feel like your husband is always demanding for everything to be done a certain way around the house, it is a sign that he is selfish and is only thinking about himself. He doesn’t care about what you like or how you want your household to be run. 

14. He Only Thinks About Himself 

If your husband only thinks about himself and is always busy thinking about his own interests and thoughts, it is a sign he is selfish. Husbands who are selfish will spend all of their time thinking about themselves. They are often extremely confident and enjoy spending this much time worrying about themselves. 

15. He Never Apologizes

he never apologizes

Your husband never apologizes for his mistakes in your relationship and he tries to make you feel like you are always at fault. Selfish men never usually think about their own behavior in a negative way so are unlikely to accept that they are ever at fault. This type of person doesn’t take criticism very well and will likely deny that they ever made a mistake.

16. He Never Says Thank You

He never apologizes, nor does he say thank you or show appreciation for the nice acts that you do for him. He takes you and everything that you do for granted. No matter how much you do for him, he never shows any appreciation. This likely makes you feel unwanted and unhappy and it is vital that you communicate to him how you feel or consider walking away. 

17. He Doesn’t Care When He Upsets You

If he doesn’t comfort you after a fight one day it is a sign that he is selfish. He always wants to win and he doesn’t care how he does it. It doesn’t matter to him that you are upset as long as he has succeeded in winning the argument against you. 


What are the signs of a selfish husband?

Perhaps your husband used to be a really caring person, but lately, he has become so wrapped up in himself that he never thinks about you. He doesn’t look after you anymore and he doesn’t do anything to make you smile. These are signs of a selfish husband. If your husband has been acting this way, it is vital that you communicate this with him before it is too late.

How do I deal with a selfish husband?

One of the most important things to do if you have realized that your husband has been acting selfishly is to talk to him. He may not even realize that he has been acting in this way if you do not bring it to his attention. No relationship is going to last if you are unable to communicate honestly and openly with one another. Talk to him about how he is making you feel.

How do you live with a selfish husband?

There is no reason that you should live with a selfish husband. If he is making you unhappy, talk to him about how you feel and see how he reacts. If he promises to make a change and acts on it then hopefully you will regain happiness in your relationship. However, if he does not seem to care and does not make a commitment to change, it may be time to walk away. 

What are the signs of a failing marriage?

Lack of communication, as well as lack of happiness, are often signs of a failing marriage. If your husband has been acting selfishly lately, you may have become unhappy. If you are unable to talk to him about how you have been feeling, it may be the case that you are in an unhealthy relationship and it is time that you should think about whether it is really right for you. 

What is a narcissistic husband like?

A narcissistic husband is likely selfish and wrapped up in his own life and issues. If your husband has been acting this way and he doesn’t care for how you are feeling or whether you are happy, it is important to consider whether this relationship is healthy for you. Talk to your husband and try and find ways to improve your situation or walk away. 

To Sum Up

Living with a selfish husband is not an easy thing to do, nor is walking away from someone that you used to love. It is important if your husband starts to display selfish tendencies, to bring it up with him immediately so things do not get worse. Do not leave things too long before you communicate how you are feeling, otherwise, you may never regain happiness together. 

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