What do you do when you’re married to a man that shows practically no love or emotions? Do you leave or do you try to work things out? This is one tricky situation many women find themselves in. On one hand, you love that person, but their cold behavior leaves you asking yourself ‘Why am I clinging to him when it is pretty clear that how I feel is not important to him?’’
The truth is, if your husband has made it clear that your feelings don’t matter to him, it’s obvious that he doesn’t love you. It doesn't matter whether he is generally not capable of love or whether he just cannot love you. At the end of the day, both scenarios are pretty much the same.
I don't think you can make him change either. Hence why you need to make the right decision—either to stay and make things work or to leave him. If you’re not sure how to manage the situation, this article will discuss the several approaches that can be adopted when your partner is acting a little bit emotionally distant from you.
- 1 11 Things To Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Care When You Cry
- 2 FAQs
- 3 Conclusion
11 Things To Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Care When You Cry
1. Identify the issue
The first and most effective step to solving the issue is to identify it. When you are able to pinpoint what exactly the issue is, it makes the whole process of problem-solving easier.
In this case, if your husband is acting strange, mean, and uncaring, it only goes to show that there is something particularly wrong with him. You, therefore, need to make an effort to find out the reason for the decline in emotional support. Finding out the cause of this stone-hearted and lukewarm behavior from him is a good way to manage the situation.
2. Try to communicate with him
If in an event where your husband isn’t showing as much care as he used to, there is every reason to talk to him about it. At some point, you two need to have a talk about the sudden change of behavior. In marriage, there will always be conflicts and disagreements, but, if you are going to resolve any issues at all, you both must agree to talk about them.
Communication in marriage can not be overemphasized. The most effective approach to figuring out what the issue is is by engaging your guy in dialogue. In this case, where your husband doesn’t seem to care when you cry, I suggest, you hold a deep conversation with him about what might be the issue.
3. Love unconditionally
I know this might be very hard to pull through, given the current situation at hand. However, you need to understand that the moment you got into marriage, you signed a lifetime contract to love unconditionally. At the altar, you vowed to love him in sickness and in health, and only death was allowed to separate you both.
It is from this standpoint that I urge you to continue to love your husband unconditionally and remain patient with him until you both are able to resolve whatever issue there is. Furthermore, loving him continually even when he isn’t reciprocating it actually has a way of passing an important message to him about loving his partner.
Marriage is not always going to be a bed full of roses. There are days that you are going to be emotionally disorganized. There are times your guy will hurt you and disconnect from you without thinking twice. In these dreaded moments, unconditional love should be held paramount.
4. Act kindly
There is really no need for violence. As much as I am aware, he might be going through a phase or battling with some personal issues. It is your responsibility as a wife to offer emotional support rather than be a nag over the issue. I understand that this might not be easy to execute, especially when he shows little or no sympathy when you are depressed or crying.
If your husband has no response when you cry, you should know that something is significantly wrong in that relationship. Like I have earlier advised, some act of kindness, understanding, and closure might just do the trick. As ironic as it may sound, this is not the best moment to initiate any form of violence.
5. Evaluate yourself
Sometimes, the solution to what we are trying to solve is not actually out there but is within and around us. You need to look inwards when things get out of hand in your marriage. Certain questions could be asked such as, Am I a good wife? Am I doing what I should do? Am I the problem?
These questions and even more will help establish some form of clarity of conscience as regards the said issue. If your husband has no response when you cry, I think you need to look inwardly for the cause of the issue before looking outward.
6. Put in more effort
The fact that your husband is no longer bothered about whether or not you are crying is a sign that some things are not in the right place. These are signs that a lot of things must have gone south over the course of time, and clearly, you have been missing out.
I strongly recommend that you carry out an inward evaluation, find out where things went wrong, and most importantly, make efforts to fix them.
Fixing these issues will of course involve you putting more effort than you normally do, being more caring regardless of the current situation, and being more submissive to your spouse as a way of pleasing him. There is no problem that doesn’t have a solution; you just have to figure it out.
7. Be prepared for the worse
When things eventually take this turn, it only means that you should be open-minded ready for the worse. Sometimes, people get tired of things, emotions fade away, and your man suddenly stops giving you attention. It could get so bad that you burst into tears just at the thought of it.
I can guarantee you that tears have never solved any problem, and will not be doing it any time soon. A good option is to put yourself together, confront him, and be ready for the worse. The pain of staying married to someone who does not reciprocate the emotional energy you give out can be quite traumatizing.
8. Go above and beyond
Usually, a guy might tend to pull away from a commitment when he thinks the other party is not doing well enough. The act of pulling away comes with a whole lot of lukewarm attitudes. These behaviors might include snubbing you, lack of communication, a decline in love and affection, and even cheating on you if the opportunity presents itself.
I strongly recommend that if you are in a similar case such as this, you should endeavor to go above and beyond to ensure that all is well. This might include you adjusting to the current situation of things, being overly nicer than you have always been, trying to initiate a dialogue with your partner when you get the chance.
More so, it would be really helpful if you make a conscious effort to understand your partner's needs and try to meet them as they come.
9. Talk to your friends about it
If it would help, I would recommend that you talk to your trusted friends about it. As it is commonly said, a problem shared is one half-solved. Usually, when people find themselves in issues such as this, there is always a need to talk to a few friends about it.
The one good thing about talking to your close confidant is that they always point out the obvious, which clearly you have been missing. Your close friends are sometimes in a better position to point out the truth to you, especially when you have been missing this obvious fact for a while. They also understand you well enough to know when you are at fault and when you are not.
10. See a counselor
It might be the best time to see a marriage counselor about it. The moment your man starts giving you that lukewarm attitude, it is obvious that he might be seeing another woman, or even considering a divorce. Marriages do not just end abruptly. It usually begins with signs like this.
He stops complementing your meals, doesn’t touch you at night, and acts weird towards you. These are signals, and you should see a marriage counselor fast. Seeing a marriage counselor, of course, is recommended after all other approaches to manage the situation have proven futile.
11. Face reality
What is the reality of things? The reality is that your husband does not care when you are crying. Your presence angers him; his anger is aggravated by the sight of you. He does not feel empathy or sympathy about how you feel. It has gone so bad that he does not care how his actions might affect your feelings.
Maybe, he puts his work ahead of the relationship. That should never have to happen.
A man should not prioritize his work at the expense of his woman or family, because family comes before work. This is your reality. Your husband is gradually losing interest in the union you both once shared.
It is either you make efforts to address the situation or you get ready to move on. More so, no amount of tears can change the situation. As a matter of fact, tears will only make it worse.
There are several reasons why your husband does not care about your feelings. One might be that he doesn't love you anymore, he is seeing another woman, he is selfish, and he is trying to end the union.
One of the reasons why he might withdraw or walk away when you cry is that he thinks you are trying to be manipulative. There is no doubt that women can sometimes use tears to manipulate their men into doing something they would ordinarily not want to do.
There are several ways you can deal with this type of situation, and they include loving your man unconditionally, putting more effort into the relationship, should in case, you were slacking. You can also try talking to friends or a counselor about it, and holding a talk with your spouse.
Maybe your guy just feels helpless about the situation and the only way he can react is by getting upset. Men most times do not really know how to react when their women start crying. Most of the time, they either get sad, mad, or they simply walk away.
Emotional abandonment occurs when your spouse has emotionally left the relationship, even though he is physically present. At this point, he becomes emotionally unavailable to your needs; he stops caring, loving, and showing affectionate behavior. Things like emotional abandonment can make women cheat on men.
This article has taken out time to discuss a good number of ways in which you can manage your marriage if your partner becomes emotionally distant. If you find yourself in this kind of situation, I strongly recommend that you love your guy unconditionally and show no anger.
Put more effort into the relationship, should in case, you were slacking. You can also try talking to friends or a counselor about it, and holding a dialogue with your man.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.