When your spouse brings negativity to almost everything you do, this can affect your emotions. And if you don't talk to him or give him space very soon, you will see yourself accepting the negativity he brings. This isn't good.
Living with a partner that is always complaining can be very difficult. However, complaining doesn't mean he is negative if only he has an endpoint from a reasonable view. Still, if he isn't getting to that endpoint, his complaining is from negativity, resentment, and anger.
Alternatively, your spouse might be going through hard times, which is why he is reacting that way. Still, his behavior could be a personality thing for some men, so you have to figure out what makes him toxic because these traits are contagious.
If he does this regularly and is not willing to change, then at this point you need to take your time and reflect if he complains for a genuine reason or not.
Does your partner like complaining constantly? Does he bring negativity and continuously invade your personal space? Worse yet, does he give you no room to tell him how you feel? If you answered yes, here are 9 ways to deal with a complaining husband
- 1 9 Ways To Deal With A Complaining Husband
- 2 FAQs
- 3 Conclusion
9 Ways To Deal With A Complaining Husband
1. Understand what your husband wants
Maybe your partner is just seeking respect, or he wants attention. A man who complains about his wife’s personal hygiene may just want her to show respect for her body and honor their intimacy, and the environment by maintaining her hygiene.
A complainer may complain about other issues aside from the one mentioned here but what’s important is that you understand what he wants and his reason for the constant complaining.
While you go through these times as a couple, remember your kids are looking up to you and learning fast. So, you never want your kids to think it is normal for men to complain.
2. Say the complaints like a question
State out the complaints in a question-like way. For example, if he complains that someone is always pressing the toothpaste from the middle, instead of the bottom. You can say “So if everyone starts pressing the toothpaste from the middle instead of the bottom, will the issue be resolved?”
State the problem in a question form. It could aid understanding, which can resolve the issue or make your husband see things from the solution side rather than look at it as a problem. That said, don’t turn conversations sessions into a war or boxing ring, be calm, and don’t be judgemental.
3. Conversation time
I will emphasize the fact that in any relationship, communication is critical. And things can be a lot better when you talk about it. Lack of conversation has broken a lot of relationships.
Having a conversation with your husband about his always complaining habit may be the solution to the problem.
So, open up and be honest with him, and let him know how his constant complaining affects the relationship and maybe he hasn’t even realized what he is doing.
Nobody wants to be known as a frequent complainer, and complaining doesn’t make anybody happy so talk to him about it. If you listen to him without the intent of being defensive, you can understand what’s bothering him and know the negativity source. Tell him that he is a direct role model for his son, and the effect of his behavior is not suitable for him.
4. Be optimistic
Spread positivity around your home, girl! Stay optimistic and watch how it diffuses into your man who constantly complains. Be the person who always sees positivity and doesn't ever fuel that negative energy with any bad vibes.
You cannot really force him to stop complaining but do not turn yourself into a nagging wife as well, so let positivity radiate from you and let him look at the positive side of things and change his thinking. When you remain optimistic, you are increasing your capability to cope with those complaints.
5. Stop arguing with him
No matter how annoying or consistent the complaint is, please do not turn it into an argument. Because it won’t make the situation any better, it may even worsen the case. Your man will feel you are attacking him because you don’t care about what he says.
Things will surely worsen when his motivation to complain is driven by something different from the actual complaints laid. Please do not make statements or side comments that can increase his anger. His feelings matter too.
6. Set boundaries
He should know that there is a limit to which you can tolerate. Let him know that you respect his choices and honor him and his opinions. Remember, you are very much human, and there is a limit to how much you would tolerate his insensitivities.
Let him learn to handle his insufficiency and frustration on his own instead of pouring it out on you—set boundaries to what you can tolerate and let him know when that boundary is already crossed. When you tell him your boundaries and talk to him about your feelings concerning his complaint and any behavior you are not ok with, the atmosphere becomes therapeutic for you.
7. Let him suggest a solution
Instead of pressuring yourself looking for a solution, or thinking about how to fix all the problems solely, why don’t you get some ideas from your partner on how you can fix things?
Let him suggest a solution to you so you can work with that.
If the answer is reasonable and if it’s something he can solve on his own, encourage him to go ahead and handle the situation alone. But when your help is needed, make sure you are present, to avoid the issue emanating from the past complaint solution.
8. Let him feel what he feels
Yes, you are his wife, but Do not take his feelings as your own. It’s normal to carry the burden of your lover unknowingly. You are hurt when he is broken, and you feel happy when he is happy, and when he sees something as faulty, you can see the same.
But when you notice your husband has become a keen complainer, do not take on his feelings like yours because it will create a bigger problem.
9. Get help
Get help if needed. If the complaints are getting out of hand and you can no longer see a way to solve them, seek help and talk to someone. Many couples go through the same issue; you could talk to friends you know their marriages have worked for years.
You can also seek a professional relationship counselor who will be preferable in this case. An easier way to sort out this conflict could be involving a third party, so do it.
This isn't as easy as they say. But I have given you 9 ways you can deal with a complaining partner. And this can help your marriage.
Lack of communication and understanding, when one party starts feeling they are in control or superior to the other person, and trying to avoid your responsibilities.
Lack of communication, you continuously argue about irrelevant things, you don't plan about your future together, you both live separate lives, you no longer feel connected, and there are many insecurities in your marriage.
When one party isn't willing to change or make the marriage work when anyone is being abused in the process, whether physically or emotionally. Also, when there is no respect and some sense of commitment.
Not really, but it can affect your mental health. And this could be due to dysfunctional interpersonal relationships; this syndrome makes you think everything is incorrect. You defend yourself even when you are wrong, and you are always physically aggressive.
I hope you found this article helpful. Before thinking of how to deal with such a situation, it is better you know the origin of the problem and try to improve on it personally this will help your marriage. Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.