Whether you have fallen for someone that you recently met through a mutual friend or you have been eyeing up a certain person at your gym, you may be wondering how to tell someone you like them over text.
Telling someone that you like them can be daunting, especially if you don’t already know that person very well and this is your first piece of real contact.
However, if you do like someone, don’t be scared to let them know, or you may always wonder what could have been. Sure, they may tell you that they don’t feel the same way as you, they are not currently single or they are just not looking for a relationship right now, but at the same time, they might agree to go on a date with you.
There is no point worrying about what may go wrong as you don’t have to speak to this person again anyway if things don’t go your way. There is nothing embarrassing about speaking your truth and letting this person know how you feel. You never know where it may lead to, so be confident and tell them that you like them.
Keep reading for ways to tell someone you like them.
- 1 How To Tell Someone You Like Them Over Text
- 1.1 1. Don’t Overthink It
- 1.2 2. Consider How You Really Feel
- 1.3 3. Stay Calm
- 1.4 4. Keep The Message Relaxed
- 1.5 5. Don’t Over-Message
- 1.6 6. Don’t Reveal Everything At Once
- 1.7 7. Don’t Just Ask Questions
- 1.8 8. Keep It Simple
- 1.9 9. Be Emotional
- 1.10 10. Keep It Fun
- 1.11 11. Be Funny
- 1.12 12. Show Your Personality
- 1.13 13. Be Authentic
- 1.14 14. Be Confident
- 1.15 15. Make A Good First Impression
- 1.16 16. Pay Attention
- 1.17 17. Be Understanding
- 1.18 18. Get To Know Each Other
- 1.19 19. Plan To Meet Up
- 1.20 20. Don’t Rely On Texts
- 1.21 21. Create Boundaries
- 2 FAQs
- 3 To Sum Up…
How To Tell Someone You Like Them Over Text
If you have never text someone to tell them that you like them before it can be a scary thing to do and many people end up keeping their feelings hidden and ruining any chances of something great. You never know, this person may feel exactly the same way about you too. If you are both too scared to reveal your true feelings, nothing is ever going to happen.
You may usually never think about sending texts to your friend and family and you never worry about what you are saying. You just write the text and send it without any more thought. However, you are likely to believe that there is more on the line when you are texting someone that you like to tell them how you feel, and in many ways it is true.
However, there is no point in overthinking this situation and it is better to stay calm and speak from your heart rather than following too many rules on how to write the perfect text. Just tell this person how you really feel and you may get a positive reaction in return. These tips can help to take the stress out of this process.
1. Don’t Overthink It
One of the worst things that you can do in any situation like this is overthinking it. If you spend too much time obsessing over what to write to tell your crush how you feel, you are likely not going to write from the heart and you may lose any chance of something happening between you. Relax and tell them how you really feel inside.
Don’t worry about writing the perfect text as there are no rules on how to do so anyway. Just tell your crush how you really feel instead.
2. Consider How You Really Feel
Before you send your crush a text, it is important to consider how you really feel about them. Do you really like them enough to see yourself in a relationship with them or do you just have a little crush on them? If you don’t feel deeply about them, it may be better to hold off on sending them a text about how you feel until you are more sure and less confused.
If you send someone a text to let them know that you like them before you know how you truly feel, you risk one of you getting hurt in the process.
3. Stay Calm
If you have decided to text your crush to let them know how you feel about them, make sure to stay calm and avoid letting your thoughts run away from you. Don’t start imagining a life or a relationship with this person before you even know whether they are going to text back. Don’t become invested so soon in case things don’t work out how you want them, too.
Things happen for a reason and if you are really meant to be together you will receive a positive reply and likely end up dating.
4. Keep The Message Relaxed
When you are texting someone that you like, make sure to keep all of the messages that you send at the beginning relaxed and chilled. Avoid getting too deep before you really know each other and save the really heavy stuff for later on. You may want to know everything about your crush straight away but it is important to be patient and take things slowly.
Stay calm and keep your messages relaxed until you develop a real bond with someone otherwise you may end up getting hurt.
5. Don’t Over-Message
It can be easy to get excited when texting someone you like but it is important that you don’t over-message or they may become overwhelmed and you may ruin any chance of anything happening between you. Don’t start asking loads of questions at the beginning, rather keep it relaxed and perhaps suggest a simple coffee date or a chilled walk in the park.
Don’t come on too strong in the beginning as you may end up getting hurt if this person doesn’t feel the same way that you do.
6. Don’t Reveal Everything At Once
When you first start texting someone, make sure to avoid revealing everything about yourself all at once. Not only do you want to keep this person interested in you and eager to find out more about you, but you also don’t want to let this person in too quickly before you know that you are right for each other. Give your relationship time to develop before revealing everything about yourself.
Often we can tend to rush into relationships that may not be good for us, so take your time and only continue with this person if things feel right.
7. Don’t Just Ask Questions
If you text your crush that you like them and they have responded positively, you may start to text more regularly. However, it is important that you ask questions and respond to their questions about you too. If you just ask questions about the other person and don’t let them know anything about you or your life they are likely going to get bored.
Make sure that the conversation is balanced and you both share things about one another rather than it is just one person talking.
8. Keep It Simple
If you are texting someone to let them know you like them, make sure to keep it short and simple. A long and convoluted message about how you feel is likely not going to make someone fall for you. Rather than writing a long drawn-out message, keep it simple and to the point. Let them know how you feel without writing countless paragraphs.
Sending overly-long messages is likely only going to overwhelm your crush. Keep things simple even when you start talking, keep the deep conversations for face-to-face meetings.
9. Be Emotional
One of the hardest things to do when texting is to convey emotions. Make sure to get across your real feelings when you are telling your crush that you like them. Try to speak from the heart rather than writing something that you think you should say. Your crush is much more likely to fall for you and respond positively if you write how you truly feel.
Use emotional words and avoid cold and unemotional messages that you may write to just anyone. Keep it personal and show them how you really feel.
10. Keep It Fun
When messaging your crush, try to keep things fun and light. Keep any deeper conversations for meetings in real life. If you are wondering how to tell someone you like them over text, one of the main things to remember is to keep it fun and flirty. Don’t get too serious or texting may start to feel like a chore. If you are not having fun, it may not be the right relationship for you.
11. Be Funny
Make sure to show your crush your hilarious and funny side. Don’t hold back this side of your personality. They will likely fall more deeply for you if you show them how much fun you can be and how many laughs you will share together in the future. Don’t be afraid to make jokes or try and make your crush laugh via text.
12. Show Your Personality
Try to show your personality through text when you are messaging your crush. It can be difficult to come across as yourself if you send messages without thinking about them. Try to let your crush know who you really are by talking about your hobbies, passions, and opinions. This is also helpful if you engage in online dating. Say something about yourself that makes you different from everybody else.
13. Be Authentic
When texting and dating someone, it is important to stay true to your real and authentic self. Don’t try to hide any aspect of your personality and avoid ever acting like someone you are not. If you don’t agree with something that your crush says, then let them know, no matter if you think it may affect your chances of them liking you.
You are going to have to reveal your real self at some point so why hide it at the beginning? Let your crush fall in love with the truest version of you.
14. Be Confident
The most important thing to remember when you are messaging your crush is to be confident about yourself. Whether your crush answers your messages positively or not, it should not affect your confidence. If this relationship doesn’t work out, there are many other people out there for you. Don’t get too hung up on this person and look after yourself instead.
15. Make A Good First Impression
While there is no need to spend hours writing different drafts of the first text you will send your crush, avoid writing something and sending it right away. Think about what you want to convey and how you want to say it. Spend a few minutes making sure that you send the right text so that you don’t have to worry about potentially messing things up.
16. Pay Attention
When you are texting your crush, make sure to pay attention to what they say about themselves. If they realize that you are not listening to what they are saying and rather you just want to talk about yourself, they are likely going to become bored and disinterested in seeing you. Ensure that you pay attention to them and they will show you the same respect too.
17. Be Understanding
Ensure that you are understanding when you first start dating someone as you never know what another person has gone through in past relationships. If they ask you whether it is okay to take the relationship slow at the beginning try to be understanding and respect their point of view. Don’t overload them with messages and don’t expect to meet up all the time.
18. Get To Know Each Other
It can be fun to learn more about each other over messages when you first start dating. Take this time to ask questions about each other’s lives and what you both love to do. This can be an important stage in your bonding and can lay the foundations for real conversations. However, avoid any deep topics for when you meet up.
19. Plan To Meet Up
Once you have spent a bit of time messaging your crush and the conversation seems to be flowing, try to arrange to meet up. This can also give you more to message about but it will also help you find out whether you are really compatible.
20. Don’t Rely On Texts
No relationship is going to work if all you ever do is message. Don’t rely on texting and don’t assume that just because your texting conversations are great your relationship will be too. Make time to get to know each other on a deeper level.
21. Create Boundaries
Don’t feel obligated to message them all day every day. Create boundaries such as letting them know you will text them when you get home.
If you secretly like someone and you want to let them know how you feel about them over text, you may be wondering how to compose the perfect message. One of the most important things to do is to speak your heart as you would do if you were talking face to face. Tell them exactly how you feel and don’t worry about feeling embarrassed, just be confident.
There is nothing wrong with sending a text message to tell someone that you like them, however, most people tend to prefer to do so face to face. However, if you have decided to text your crush to tell them how you feel, there is nothing wrong with doing so. Be confident and don’t overthink the process, just speak your heart.
There is no set way to tell someone that you like them over text and it will depend on every individual situation and the people involved. However, it is often cute to send a text that involves an inner secret that you share with this person or a joke that only they would understand. This ensures that your text is cute and personal to your crush.
If you want to let your crush know that you like them but you don’t want to make it too obvious straight away because you are not yet sure about whether they feel the same way about you, drop some hints. Ask your crush for coffee more often than you used to or buy them a small but non-romantic gift or do something thoughtful for them.
Think about how you feel about your crush. Do you really like them and could you see yourself in a relationship with them or do you just feel a slight attraction to them? If you do not feel more than mere attraction, it may be better to avoid telling them how you feel straight away. If you don’t yet have true feelings, one of you may end up getting hurt.
To Sum Up…
Letting your crush know that you like them is never easy, however, it is important to be confident enough in yourself to speak your truth and let someone know how you really feel about them. Otherwise, you may miss out on something great happening between you. Don’t overthink the process too much and use these simple tips to make the process easier.
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As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.