Are you getting ready to meet your boyfriend’s mom for the first time? Are you wondering if your man’s parents like you? It can be easy to tell if his parents like you because they will make an effort to get to know you better! They’ll enjoy spending time with you because you make their son happy!
If they are particularly fond of you, you will be included in family events and functions, like a family reunion. You may even have one-on-one conversations on the telephone or in-person with them, as they seek to get to know you well and enjoy your company. There are many signs your boyfriend’s parents like you; you just have to keep your eyes open.
So, what do you do if you think they do not like you? What if they have told your boyfriend they don’t like you? My suggestion is to keep trying until you succeed! Eventually, I believe you can win them over, but this article will walk you through the various signs his parents like you and what to do if they aren’t in love with you!
- 1 Top Ways To Tell If His Parents Like You
- 1.1 1. His parents spend one-on-one time with you
- 1.2 2. His parents listen intently when you talk
- 1.3 3. His parents care about you and show it
- 1.4 4. His parents ask you a lot of questions
- 1.5 5. His parents are attentive to your needs
- 1.6 6. His parents introduce you to family friends
- 1.7 7. His parents make sure you always feel included
- 1.8 8. His parents talk about the future of your relationship with their son
- 1.9 9. His parents take you shopping
- 1.10 10. His parents include you in family gatherings
- 1.11 11. His parents call you just to say hello
- 1.12 12. His parents talk about “family matters” in front of you
- 1.13 13. His parents ask you to call them “mom” and “dad”
- 1.14 14. His parents want you to meet other family members
- 1.15 15. His parents ask when they can see you again
- 1.16 16. His parents talk to their son about marrying you
- 1.17 17. His parents tell their son how fabulous you are
- 1.18 18. His parents take your side during relationship fights
- 1.19 19. His parents say sweet things to you
- 1.20 20. His parents tell you that you are part of the family
- 1.21 21. His parents ask you about your family
- 1.22 22. His parents want to know all about you
- 1.23 23. His parents buy you gifts for no reason
- 1.24 24. His parents make sure you feel welcome in their home
- 1.25 25. His parents include you in their vacation or holiday plans
- 1.26 26. His parents call you just to chat
- 1.27 27. His parents respond to calls, texts, and emails from you right away
- 1.28 28. His parents always compliment you or brag about you to other people
- 1.29 29. His parents are okay with agreeing to disagree
- 1.30 30. His parents support you on social media
- 1.31 31. His parents never bring up their son’s exes
- 1.32 32. His parents ask how you feel about their son
- 1.33 33. His parents try to help you solve any problems you have
- 2 How Does Your Boyfriend Feel About His Parents?
- 3 FAQs
- 4 To Summarize
Top Ways To Tell If His Parents Like You
1. His parents spend one-on-one time with you
Having that individual attention from your husband or boyfriend’s mom or dad is a very good sign they are in love with you! They are taking the time to get to know you better, and they obviously love spending time with you, or they wouldn’t be doing it. Does your boyfriend’s mom ask you about your hobbies, passions, and career?
Often, a parent will take you out for coffee to get to know you better or invite you to family events, making sure you get to spend plenty of one-on-one time with them!
2. His parents listen intently when you talk
A good listener makes sure you feel heard; they hear what you mean by the words you use and respond accordingly. I’ve heard it said that a good sign of a real listener is the fact that you feel heard after the conversation is over. I don’t mean that you know they heard what you said, but instead, they really absorbed the content of your message.
Of course, the basics apply to a good listener; he or she will not interrupt you or make you feel dismissed as they are rushing to think about the next thing they want to say. According to the Harvard Business Review, good listeners promote insight and discovery by the questions they ask the talker. Doesn’t that make you feel great?
If your man’s folks are paying attention to what you have to say, you’ll see the signs of a good listener because they’ll intently hear you and engage appropriately. They will interact with you in a way that, well, maybe builds up your self-esteem because you know you were well heard. How does his mom talk with you? Does she listen?
Take note of this the next time his mom talks to you because it’s a very good sign that she loves spending time chatting with you. A great conversation between two people involves cooperation by both parties; it also involves interacting with one another. For example, his mom might try to help you solve the problem you are discussing.
3. His parents care about you and show it
A great sign that his folks are a fan of you is if they show they care. Did you recently go through hardship? What did his parents do in response to that? A friend of mine recently lost her father, and her in-laws sent her flowers. What a sweet way to show they care about the tragedy she is going through? You’ll know it if they feel this way about you!
4. His parents ask you a lot of questions
Inquiries may seem a bit tedious, especially if you date around a lot because you have to retell your life story to each set of parents you meet. That can get old really fast unless you just love being the center of attention! They could bombard you with questions to get to know you better and to learn what you are all about. What are your passions?
If they don’t like you, they may ask questions to find your weak points, but generally, when people ask questions, it is a sign they are interested in the person talking. They want to know more about the person! Do his parents ask you about your job or your favorite hobbies? Do they seem genuinely interested in what you have to say?
Some questions you might get from your boyfriend’s parents could be:
- What do you do for a living?
- How many hours do you work?
- What hobbies do you have?
- Do you have any pets?
- What’s your favorite [food, color, animal, etc.]?
- Where are you from?
- Where have you traveled in your life?
- What is your favorite thing to do?
- Where does your family live?
- Are you close to your family?
- How long have you been dating our son?
- How serious is your relationship?
- What do your parents do for a living?
- How many brothers and sisters do you have?
- What religious affiliation are you?
- How do you celebrate the holidays?
- How many serious relationships have you been in?
- What are your future plans for your career?
I realize that it can be overwhelming, but try to answer them as politely as possible. You want them to know you are a high-quality girlfriend for their son, right? Just talk about yourself, but don’t go into so much detail that you regret what you said in the future.
5. His parents are attentive to your needs
Being attentive usually involves things like making sure you are taken care of when you are at their house or at family events. They don’t just abandon you when you are at family events, but instead, they introduce you to relatives and make sure you have a drink in your hand. They want you to feel welcome when you are around them.
6. His parents introduce you to family friends
If his parents are excited to have you in their son’s life, they may want to show you off to their friends. You may feel a bit nervous about this, but just be yourself, making sure you are polite and respectful. As mentioned, it’s a good idea to think about the answers to the above questions to prepare yourself for when they are asked of you.
7. His parents make sure you always feel included
This is a great sign that his parents are happy that you are around. Plus, it shows that they care about you and want you to feel comfortable around them. If they make plans, for example, to pick out a Christmas tree for the holiday, they may ask you to come along to show you that they want you as part of their lives.
8. His parents talk about the future of your relationship with their son
Unless you ask your boyfriend, you may not know if this really happens, but he may want to tell you on his own. If his parents love you and think you are a quality person who can treat their son right, they’ll want to sing your praises to him. This is a fantastic sign that you have won them over!
9. His parents take you shopping
There are times, especially during the holidays when families go shopping or sightseeing together. Provided they include you in these plans, you can know that you are a shining star in their books because they want you to come along for the ride. When was the last time you went shopping with your boyfriend’s family?
10. His parents include you in family gatherings
Your boyfriend may not always remember to go or ask you to go with him to family functions. However, if his folks remember and like you a lot, they’ll be sure you have the details so that you can come to fun family gatherings. If you go to a family event for the first time, you may want to dress conservatively and just try to be yourself.
It’s easy to let your nerves get the best of you, but you don’t have to feel anxious; just tell yourself that even though this is your first time hanging out with these people, it is an important aspect of being in a committed relationship.
Your boyfriend probably wants to show you off, anyway! Let him have this honor by showing up, even if you don’t want to.
11. His parents call you just to say hello
You know if they don’t like you, they won’t call you, right? Do they have your phone number saved? Leave them a business card or get their contact information. That way, you can get in touch in a friendly, casual way, and you’ll be able to see if they respond to your requests to build upon your relationship with them.
12. His parents talk about “family matters” in front of you
My parents wouldn’t even discuss important matters in front of my siblings and me when I was growing up, so this may depend on how their relationship is.
If they are very private people and don’t even share information with your boyfriend, they probably aren’t going to do it in front of you. If they are cool with it, you know they’re comfortable around you!
13. His parents ask you to call them “mom” and “dad”
I love this one! I enjoy calling people other than my family names like this. It’s sweet and shows that you are a member of the family and have a place in the future of their lives. You may still have to win the heart of your boyfriend, but you know that you’ve secured a future with his parents.
You might even try calling them these names to see their reaction. For example, if you received a gift from his mom, you could say, “Aw! Thanks, mom!” See if she says something like, “Excuse me? It’s Mrs. Miller.” That would be a sign she hasn’t been won over by you yet! However, if she accepts this name (“mom”), you are golden to her.
14. His parents want you to meet other family members
Like meeting their friends, if they try to introduce you to other family members, you know they are cheerful and excited that you are dating their son. They want to show you off and demonstrate to other people in the family that your boyfriend has an awesome girlfriend who treats him well and is very smart, beautiful, talented, etc.
15. His parents ask when they can see you again
After the first time you meet the folks, they may ask you when they can see you again! This is a great sign they are interested in getting to know more about you! They might adore the way you treat their son and want to get closer to you since you are important to him. Talk to your boyfriend about the future and when you could meet them again.
16. His parents talk to their son about marrying you
The pressure may be on your boyfriend if his parents are talking about the future of your relationship in terms of marriage. This usually happens when you’ve been in a relationship for about a year or longer, but with some people, you never know.
His parents may have really been looking forward to him having a future with someone special!
17. His parents tell their son how fabulous you are
Of course, if they are looking to get their child married, his folks may be excited to talk you up any chance they get! They may take the time to learn more about you and then tell their son about all of your wonderful attributes. It may just depend on what type of impression you make on them when you meet them for the first time.
18. His parents take your side during relationship fights
In every relationship, there are arguments, fights, or at least misunderstandings. It’s a pretty great sign that his parental figures are excited to have you in their lives if they take your side. Usually, a mom or dad will side with their child, even if their child is dead wrong about something! This means that you can consider this a very good thing!
19. His parents say sweet things to you
Sure, his mom may be super polite around you, but does she go out of her way to be sweet to you when you are around her? There may be a great future for this relationship if she does things like this. Complimenting your wonderful traits can make you feel like a new person, too! Enjoy this if his family is over the moon for you!
20. His parents tell you that you are part of the family
What a great way to feel included! You may have a negative relationship with your family members and wish you could have a tight bond as other people have. This is your chance! This is especially important if you are married because usually, his folks aren’t going anyway; they will be in your life for a long time! You should want to be one of them!
21. His parents ask you about your family
Do his parents want to know the details of your family? Have they shown a genuine interest in your past? Maybe they want to be able to ask you how they are when they talk to you. Sometimes, with new familial relationships, you have to start somewhere, and this is a good place to begin. The questions often start somewhere like this.
22. His parents want to know all about you
Like asking you about your family, they will probably want to know everything about you to make sure you are suitable for their child! What kind of things do you do in your spare time?
Do you find ways to volunteer when you are able? Do you put the comfort of others before you? Are you a giving person who is concerned for the well-being of strangers?
Kindness is a great attribute to show in front of your man’s parents, but don’t get carried away when you talk about the good deeds you invest your time in. It may sound like you are bragging if you talk about your volunteer work too much. No one wants to be around someone who is a brown noser. You have to find a good balance in topics to discuss.
23. His parents buy you gifts for no reason
If his parents do this, you know they listen to your needs and are putting forth the effort to learn about what is best for you. They want you to be happy because they truly care about you. What a great new thing to have in your life and in your future! They don’t even have to spend money on you; instead, it’s the thought that counts!
You know you are on his mother’s mind if she surprises you with something she knows you’ll love for no reason at all. She might even just take you shopping or to the mall for a manicure and pedicure! It’s all about her sweet intentions! She is wanting to spend more time with you so that the two of you can get closer to one another!
24. His parents make sure you feel welcome in their home
Do his parents ask if you need a drink when you are visiting them? Do they check to make sure you aren’t too hot or cold in their home? Have they asked you plenty of questions to gauge your comfort level when you are around them? They might ask you if you need anything or ensure you have the best accommodations when sleeping over.
25. His parents include you in their vacation or holiday plans
This is such a big bonus when dating a new guy, especially if his family has great vacations or holiday plans and feels the need to include you! You know they are fond of you if they make you feel extra special by including you in a nice vacation they take every year or include you in their family’s “secret Santa” each Christmas.
26. His parents call you just to chat
I know I love it when my man’s mother calls me because I know she is listening and cares about what I have to say. She has gotten to know me so well, in fact, that she knows when I don’t feel like myself, when I’m overwhelmed by something, or when I am very happy or excited about something new! What a great relationship to have!
27. His parents respond to calls, texts, and emails from you right away
I think this is a good sign that his family wants to respect you. They know that you have made an effort to get in touch with them, and they are eager to respond. It also means they have looked forward to talking to you about whatever you have discussed. If they are especially tech-savvy, they might even follow you on social media!
28. His parents always compliment you or brag about you to other people
Have you heard it through the grapevine that your praises are being sung? Perhaps, his parents are eager to talk you up because they are especially fond of you! Why else would they be bragging about your talents?
29. His parents are okay with agreeing to disagree
Not all relationships are harmonious; there will always be things that people disagree on. What’s good for a relationship is the ability to agree to disagree. If they respect you and want you in their son’s life, they should be okay with disagreements.
As mentioned, some people are really into social media, even the elderly! This is not to necessarily say that his folks are elderly, but they may be. You shouldn’t discount their desire to connect on social media, though. They may be on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Tumblr, Linked-In, and a dozen other social media accounts!
Give them your various handles, so you can keep in touch, but take caution if you talk about racy subjects that you wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing with them. For example, if they are very conservative Republicans, you don’t want them on your Twitter account if you are a very outspoken Democrat. They might be okay with this difference.
However, if you curse online when you are chatting it up on social media, you probably don’t want them to see that side of you – at least not at first. You want to make a good impression on them, so you should stick to including them on social media accounts where you aren’t too outspoken over controversial subjects. Play it safe in the beginning.
31. His parents never bring up their son’s exes
If his parents don’t like you, they might compare you to your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends or ex-wives. Is this subject taboo when you are around? In fact, the topic may not be one they even address with their son if they are particularly fond of you and don’t want him thinking about any other girl!
32. His parents ask how you feel about their son
They may be looking to the future and wondering what your intentions are with their child. How do you treat him now? Are you showing respect, or do you date around, lie, or cheat? If you don’t have any future plans for this guy, you probably shouldn’t spend a lot of time with his folks because they will get the wrong idea.
It’s also a good thing to let him off the hook. You don’t want to hurt someone by playing with his heart if you don’t have good intentions. If he introduces you to his family, he thinks there is a future for your relationship, something you do not believe is true. Be honest with him so that he can find someone he can connect with!
If you do see a future with this guy, you can let his parents know that you intend to keep dating him if they ask you this question. Explain that you are having a blast with him and that you really hope to continue the relationship. You might talk about your feelings, too. Talk about how much you care for him; this will help give them peace of mind.
33. His parents try to help you solve any problems you have
I am a problem-solver, but I especially love it when people help me solve problems I am stumped on. For example, if I am trying to decide between focusing my attention on dieting to lose weight or earning more additional income this New Year, I might ask for someone’s advice. If his folks are fond of you, they’ll listen intently to what you say.
According to Psychology Today, parents can show respect by giving their full attention to the person in their child’s life. They may listen closely, pay close attention, and ask follow-up questions when you go into a deep discussion about something important to you. How do his parents respond when you talk about the serious stuff in life?
How Does Your Boyfriend Feel About His Parents?
Does your boyfriend spend a lot of time with his mom? Do you have difficulties with your in-laws because your husband always takes their side? This can be a difficult thing to deal with. You don’t want to get in between them because they have a relationship that has been forged a long time ago, so it’s probably not going to change.
If your husband always picks his parents over you, you may want to ask him if the two of you can go to see a therapist or family counselor. Someone who specializes in family affairs would be especially helpful. They would know the right self-help tools and suggestions for you to try out. You can always go alone if your husband won’t participate and get tips that way.
Alternatively, if your boyfriend or husband knows he has a problem with his mom or his family in general and understands that the family needs help from a family counselor, you could ask his parents to join you in a counseling session. That may be a tough pill to swallow, but it could really help out in the situation you are in; it doesn’t hurt to ask your man what he thinks!
They are probably rude or unkind to you, as they have formed some kind of negative opinion about who you are. They may tell their son to quit dating you; they could even tell him to divorce you and take the children! Trust your gut on this one!
It’s a good idea to dress appropriately if you want the approval of his parents; you should also show that you have a positive personality when they are around you. If you see a sign that they don’t like you, it may be time to talk to your man.
It’s smart to dress appropriately and not show your man too much affection in front of his parents. This could make them feel uncomfortable when they are around you. Let your personality shine when you’re around them, though! Over time, they’ll warm up to you!
They may want to know about your future plans for their child or for your children if you have any. To get to know you better, especially for the first time, you can expect a lot of questions about your career and passions in life.
Make sure you show his mom respect. Don’t badmouth your boyfriend or discuss the negative parts of your relationship with him. Ask her questions to show that you have a great deal of interest in who she is and what she loves in life!
What signs have you seen that your boyfriend’s folks don’t like you? If they don’t approve of you for their son, what signs made you realize this fact? How has all of this affected your relationship with your boyfriend? We’d love to hear from you! Please leave a comment below!
As hopeless romantic I struggled tremendously in my love life. After many years of searching, trial & error, and countless failed relationships, I finally found my Mr. Right. It wasn't an easy road, but one that has taught me an incredible amount about the workings of relationships between men and women, and this is what I hope to share through my writing on this blog.